


Imprisonment

by DysfunctionalSerenity



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:47:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 102,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DysfunctionalSerenity/pseuds/DysfunctionalSerenity
Summary: Wesker turns himself in to the BSAA and has some rather unusual demands in exchange for crucial information. Having to go along with what the evil man wants just may be a bit easier than Chris would like, however.
Relationships: Chris Redfield/Albert Wesker
Comments: 143
Kudos: 182





	1. Willing Capture

He turned himself in. If I wasn’t the one to take him into custody, I never would have believed it. 

Jill had saved my life and fallen, taking Wesker with her out that window. Both were presumed dead. I mourned for Jill even though I refused to believe she was dead. Their bodies were never found and it couldn’t be that easy to kill Wesker. If he was alive then so was she. It wasn’t the first time I wished for the evil son of a bitch not to be dead but this time it was only for the purpose of believing my best friend made it too. 

Everyone told me their bodies must have been swept out to sea so I insisted on a search. I wouldn’t believe that either of them were dead until I could verify it myself. And even then, I’m not sure I would truly believe it or at least I don’t think I could accept it. 

I spent most of my time with the search and rescue teams, some had tried to stop me with the ‘let the professionals handle it’ line. Reminders that I was trained for search and rescue missions in STARS shut them up though to be honest, we rarely got S&R calls back then and we never dealt with water related cases. The reality was that I didn’t know what I was doing but that wasn’t going to stop me from trying to find my partner. I was a quick learner and my determination was one of my strongest qualities, it alone got me through so much even when I thought I couldn’t go on. 

Eventually I was forced to go home after an outburst when they called off the search and officially declared Jill dead. So home I went. I drank… and drank. I felt like I was losing touch with myself and in the midst of my drunken pity party, Claire even came to check on me. Apparently I was getting pretty bad and she was worried enough to take some time off of work to stay with me. Among my weeping and rants about Jill, Wesker came up too. She didn’t mention it and I pretended not to remember. I was ashamed to care. I wanted him to be dead but… I couldn’t help but to be sad about it too. He used to mean so much to me… but that was a long time ago before I found out that it was all a lie. I was ashamed to still hold these feelings, I always denied them, but they came up in times such as these when I couldn’t think straight enough to keep him out of my thoughts. 

It took time but Claire helped me sober up again though I wouldn’t say I got over any of it or moved on in any way. I still believed them both to be alive and I would stick to that until proven wrong. That always made Claire sad but she didn’t try to correct me, just accepted my soberness and my return to work as a sign that I was well enough for her to return to her own life. She still called often though and I was grateful for that. 

It wasn’t until around two months after that dreadful mission that I got a call from the hospital, as her emergency contact, stating that Jill had been brought in. I rushed there right away and though she was unconscious, she appeared to be fine. The doctors said she didn’t have any sort of damage to her whatsoever although as I looked over her, I noticed a few new scars although they didn’t look as new as they should have. I was sure those scars weren’t there before but they appeared like they had years to heal. Another big question I had for the doctors was her blonde hair but they seemed confused so I told them that she was a brunette and wouldn’t have dyed her hair. They didn’t know what to tell me and I knew they would have no way to run the tests I wanted done, it would have to wait until we were back at the BSAA or I could ask her myself. 

I made sure to call this in and update everyone about Jill’s whereabouts. I said it wasn’t necessary to have anyone else come because I would be her guard until she was able to leave. Everyone else seemed as suspicious about this as I felt but I was more happy about her being alive and here to think too much into it. 

I had just sat back down in the chair I placed next to her bed, letting out a big breath of what felt like fresh air. This was the best I’d felt in a long time. I was so happy that I hadn’t lost her. I knew that this had to mean Wesker was also still out there but I chose to think about that later. Though I couldn’t help but wonder if it was Wesker himself that did something to heal her and bring her here. I couldn’t really see him doing such a thing but I didn’t know what else to think. Whatever happened and whoever did it, I was grateful. I took her hand in mine and ran my free hand over her now pale blonde hair. It wasn’t just her hair that had paled in color, her skin and what I could see of her eyes when the doctors checked them showed they were much lighter now too. The change troubled me but I had to remind myself that, whatever happened, at least she was alive. 

“Just what happened to you Jill?” I whispered more to myself as I thought it all over again. 

“I believe it’s a side effect.” an all too familiar voice stated calmly and I felt my nerves light on fire. I jumped up from my seat and drew my gun, aiming it at the man who stood in the doorway. Wesker wore that damn cocky smirk that I so hated. 

“Wesker.” I growled but he didn’t move as I placed myself between him and Jill. He had his hands clasped behind his back and looked way too calm while I was internally panicking. What was he doing here? Did he come to kill Jill? How was I supposed to fight him in a building full of civilians? What was he planning? Of all the questions I wanted to demand answers to… why was the biggest one whether or not he was the one to keep Jill alive? 

“I expected you to be happier to see us.” he said as if he were playing some game and had the upper hand on me. I’m sure that’s how he viewed everything, like a game that he was winning. 

“What did you do to her?” I finally got out. 

“We were both in pretty rough shape after that fall, of course I healed fairly quickly but Jill on the other hand,” he motioned to her. “was barely clinging to life so I took her with me.” he stopped there like that meant anything. 

“What did you do to her?” I demanded again, stronger this time but all it did was make the other man grin wider. 

“I injected her with more of the T-virus so it would restore her body.” at his revelation I felt the fire in my veins suddenly turn to ice. My eyes fell from Wesker to look down at my best friend, now very afraid for her. I don’t think I’d be able to pull the trigger if she- “She won’t turn into a zombie.” Wesker interrupted my thoughts and I knew he was rolling his eyes at how my face had paled. “She was given the antidote many years ago, it’s adapted perfectly with her DNA. I tested everything first and was very careful to give her just enough to take advantage of the regenerative properties of the virus.” he continued to explain as his head turned toward the woman on the bed. “The loss in pigmentation is an unexpected side effect but I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s an acceptable one.” I looked at her again and saw the changes in a new light. The blonde hair, paler skin, lighter eyes, new scars probably from where bones had broken and possible surgeries before the virus was ready for her… they were all the cost of saving her life. And yes, it was acceptable. 

“How can I trust you?” 

“You shouldn’t.” he stated seriously. “But the evidence will show no form of experimentation aside from the T-virus and all cuts will be around broken bones or ruptured organs though they’ve all healed. It was almost challenging to keep her alive long enough to administer the virus.” he smiled almost fondly as if the thought of cutting into my best friend was a happy memory for him. I grit my teeth and had to refrain from pulling the trigger. 

“Why?” 

“You’ll have to be a bit more specific, there are many things that question could apply to.” though he said that, his sadistic smirk was back and we returned to his game. The last thing I wanted to do was play along but I needed to know. 

“Why did you save her and bring her to this hospital?” I asked, knowing he was fully aware this was the closed hospital to where we both lived near our BSAA headquarters. Essentially he didn’t just bring her to the hospital, he brought her directly home. 

“Would you have rather let her die?” the damn bastard was so smug but… but I was still grateful. I couldn’t understand why he did it and I knew he would never tell me but I was so grateful that he did. I knew how bad the damage had been from what the doctors had pointed out on her x-rays and what I knew was old versus new. I knew no doctor on this planet could have saved her… but this twisted man with his knowledge in the virus he helped to create had done it. I hated him so much for everything he’s done but right now… I… 

“Thank you.” I whispered and pretended I didn’t feel the burning in my eyes and the way my chest hurt as my heart and lungs worked harder under the stress of my emotions. He seemed a little taken aback for a moment, the smirk on his face falling into a blank expression like he wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t either but… Jill was alive and I had this man I hated to thank for that and I just couldn’t help that being the only thing I felt right now after going through the loss I felt for… for both of them. They were alive. 

“I’m turning myself in.” the world grew hazy for a moment and I didn’t believe it even as the words came from Wesker’s own lips. The words took a moment to process but even then I still didn’t believe. More questions swirled in my mind and I was beginning to harden towards the man again as I considered whatever possibility of what he could be planning. Quite frankly though I was coming up empty. I couldn’t imagine what he stood to gain by saving Jill and turning himself in. 

“What are you playing at?” I demanded of him as his arms slowly moved out to his sides to reveal his hands. 

“Nothing you need to worry about for now.” was the blond’s answer, his hands continuing to move slowly and I watched every inch of it carefully. He pulled his jacket aside with one hand and pulled his magnum from its holster with the other. I was tempted to shoot right then but I was dealing with whiplash from the very thought of my nemesis turning himself over to us. He slowly bent to lower the gun to the ground before straightening and kicking it over to me. My eyes flicked to the gun to locate it before I used my foot to push it behind me and farther away from him. We stared each other down as I waited for him to make a move like he was just doing this for the dramatic purpose of taking me off my guard. It would never work, I was too focused on him and would never fall for something like that, especially not from him. But he never did. He stayed right where he was, keeping his hands within my sight as he waited almost patiently for me to realize that he was being serious. 

“Why are you doing this?” I asked again though my voice faltered slightly in confusion. 

“I have some conditions that will be met in exchange for life saving information, evidence of various companies tampering with bioweapons, and all of my black market contacts.” he stated smugly with the return of that damn smirk. He knew all of that was more than we could afford to lose. I knew every bit of it was true, he had more connections than I could imagine and he had influence no matter where he went. He had charisma and the power to back up whatever claims he made. I had no doubt he had all the information he claimed… so why was he offering to give it all up? It’s not like he could expect us to just let him go in exchange, that would never happen. It didn’t even make sense for him to make such a deal, he had no problem remaining hidden from us and anyone else that was searching for him. I tried to think about what he could want that he couldn’t get himself but I couldn’t think of anything. “I’ll even point out which contacts will cooperate with you and which ones will need to be dealt with.” he added to pull me from my contemplation. 

“Why?” I simply asked though my tone may have carried more curiosity than I intended. 

“My conditions will be discussed later with your superiors.” 

“You realize you’re still going to be a prisoner.” my tone was cautious but still curious. 

“Obviously.” 

“So why?” 

“I grow tired of your repeated questions Chris.” we stared at each other for a long moment before I finally exhaled an agitated puff of air. 

“I’m gonna cuff you.” I announced carefully as I took a step toward him, keeping aware of every little movement made. “You move, I shoot you.” he only nodded in understanding, his smirk remained like this was part of the game. 

“I might let you.” he said, almost playful and though it deeply disturbed me, I ignored it. I cautiously made my way over to the other man before using one hand to carefully pat him down for more weapons, not that he would need any to kill me. I spared a glance over his shoulder to the hallway outside. No one seemed to have noticed the situation which was good, a scene would only cause panic and I’m not sure how Wesker would react to that. I couldn’t just have him standing around where he could still run so what else could I do with him? I walked backward to keep my gun trained on him as I kicked my chair to the farthest wall. After that I slowly bent to retrieve Wesker’s magnum, making sure the safety was on before tucking it into the back of my pants since I didn’t have a holster it would fit in. It was eerie how he didn’t make a move, he just stood there and watched me. Why wasn’t he trying to kill me or make his escape? 

“Sit down.” I said as I motioned to the chair that was now near the wall. He wordlessly walked across the room and sat down. I didn’t like how easy this was, there was no way he would take orders from anyone so why was he actually listening to me? I circled around behind him before finally holstering my gun to pull the handcuffs from my belt and it chilled me the way Wesker so willingly gave me his wrists to lock up so he was stuck to the chair. They wouldn’t be of any use actually keeping him detained and we both knew it but it was better than doing nothing. It did make me feel a tiny bit better even if it was just giving me some peace of mind that I was at least trying. 

I backed away from him, once again drawing my weapon to aim at his head. With one hand I pulled my phone from my pocket and called HQ to explain what was happening. They were sending people to transport him and someone would stay with Jill just in case. I continued to watch Wesker and he only stared back at me too calmly. Even with the BSAA on the way to fully detain him, he still didn’t try anything. It was really unnerving to me. Just what was his plan here? It was eating me alive that I couldn’t even begin to grasp the first straw of any sort of plan he could have. I was supposed to be some sort of expert when it came to all things Wesker so why didn’t I even know where to begin with this? I hated not understanding things, always have. The man before me always said my stubbornness was one of my least favorable qualities back when he was my captain. I shook those thoughts away and exhaled heavily. I was getting more and more frustrated the longer I thought about it. 

“It’s futile to think so much on the why when you won’t get the answer.” Wesker stated, still so damn sure of himself. I mean the man was always sure of himself and practically screamed confidence with his every move but this was the longest I’d ever seen him so… joyful. He was enjoying the situation far too much and at my expense, what’s new there? I scoffed and didn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. The smirk was off of his face and he frowned at me. “Come now Chris, you’re taking the fun out of this.” 

“Good.” I retorted harshly only to kick myself when Wesker’s smirk returned. He chuckled as I groaned, realizing I had given him what I just said that I wasn’t going to. He didn’t need the extra entertainment from me. I was saved from having to suffer more of the blond’s teasing when I heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall and I knew the other BSAA agents were here. The next few moments had a room full of guns pointed at the ever smirking Wesker and I felt relieved to not be alone anymore. 

Wesker never said a word as I walked over to uncuff him from the chair though I reattached them to his wrists so he could stand. I was conflicted about whether I should go back with them or stay with Jill but another agent assured me they had this covered. This seemed to upset Wesker as he scoffed and sat back down, crossing one leg over the other as he stared at me with an irritated look now. I knew him and he was upset because to him he wasn’t turning himself over to the BSAA but rather to me personally. It was then I realized he wasn’t going to listen to anything anyone said and might even stir up trouble if he didn’t get his way. I know that sounds like a childish reaction but the way he did it wasn’t childish at all. It’s not like he was throwing a fit or anything, he was a bit of a control freak so everything needed to go according to his plan. So if part of his plan was to have me there and I wasn’t, there would be trouble. 

Needless to say, I ended up going with them to take Wesker in but I told the agent staying with Jill to call me the moment she woke up, going as far as to ask the same thing of the nurses on the way out. Just to make sure everything went smoothly, I was the only one that interacted with Wesker, not that he would allow anyone else to touch him. The first agent that tried to guide him by the chain of the handcuffs backed up in fear when Wesker’s eyes glowed red from behind his sunglasses. Why did he have to be so difficult? I supposed if I was turning myself in and handing over all of my evil plans, I’d want it all done my way too. 

The drive in the back of the armored truck was tense as I continued to watch Wesker. He was now more heavily chained to the seat but he still seemed just as calm. I really didn’t like any of this, none of it sat well with me. Once he was in a reinforced cell at headquarters, I was told they would keep me informed of what happened so I left to go back to Jill. She still wasn’t awake so I dismissed the agent with her and stayed with her for the rest of the night. I didn’t sleep at all with so much on my mind. 

Jill woke in the morning and the first thing she did was smile at me as I took her hand. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” she spoke, her voice low and raspy. She looked at me with relief like it had been my life that was in danger and it made me want to cry. 

“Right back at you.” I smiled back at her though it soon fell. “It’s been two months Jill, the BSAA presumed you were dead but I never lost hope.” I told her and she frowned as her brows knit together as she thought. 

“How am I alive?” she closed her eyes and raised her free hand to her head. I took a deep breath and thought about how to answer. 

“What do you remember?” 

“Not much.” she lowered her hand back to her side and stared up at the ceiling. “I remember tackling Wesker out of the window and falling and…” the way she trailed off as she fought back tears told me that she remembered hitting the ground. I couldn’t imagine what that must have been like. “I remember being so afraid because I knew I was going to die.” she slightly nodded before looking at me with a small smile. “But I was able to accept that because it meant that you would live. I knew Wesker probably would too but at least he couldn’t have killed you right then.” I heavily disagreed but didn’t have the heart to scold her for her touching sacrifice because I would have done the same thing for her. “I…” she paused to gather her thoughts. “I remember bits of seeing Wesker and bright lights and the smell of blood and so… so much pain.” she was staring at the ceiling again and I felt so much sadness that she remembered any of that. 

“I’m sorry.” I told her sincerely but she shook her head to tell me that it wasn’t my fault. “How do you feel?” she sighed and looked down at herself. 

“Good actually. A little groggy but I’m not in any pain and I can move fine.” she rose her arms above her head to demonstrate. “Hey so I know this is going to sound crazy but…” she looked at me seriously. “did Wesker save me?” the overwhelming gratitude I felt towards Wesker came back stronger because even through everything she experienced, Jill herself knew that what he did had saved her rather than hurt her. I only nodded, not sure of exactly what to say because I was still having a hard time wrapping my head around it. “How?” 

“Um… well…” I placed my other hand on top of the one I was already holding. “Don’t freak out, you’re totally fine, but he used the T-virus.” her eyes widened and she examined herself again, noting the new scars that were already healed and it all seemed to make sense to her. 

“That’s… that’s a lot of effort just to keep me alive.” she stated and I again could only nod. “How did I end up here?” 

“Wesker brought you.” she looked at me skeptically. “Really. He even turned himself in.” 

“You can’t be serious.” Jill muttered in utter disbelief. 

“I’m right there with you but he let me pat him down and cuff him and he never tried anything. Even walked right into the cell at HQ.” I told her, still not believing it either. 

“Wait, he’s at HQ right now?” she turned serious again as she sat up. 

“Yeah.” I confirmed. 

“Do we know what he’s planning?” I sighed and gently pushed her shoulder to get her to lay back down. 

“Not yet but he wants to make some sort of deal, we’ve had him since yesterday and the higher ups promised to keep me in the loop since he only seems interested in dealing with me.” she gave me a strange look at that. “I don’t know why but I seem to be a part of his plan so he’s going to make sure it goes accordingly, you know how he is.” I defended myself and she nodded with a soft sigh. I went ahead and explained the rest of what had happened. 

“Chris are you sure about this?” she asked carefully and I understood what she meant. Was I sure about taking him in rather than killing him? To be honest, I wasn’t. I knew he needed to be put down rather than incarcerated. He would only ever be a threat and after everything he’s done I personally wanted him dead. But what he was offering was too good to let go, with his information we could stop so many people working on viral weapons and prevent so many outbreaks. If I had even a bit of hope that we could get rid of him and still get the information, I would choose that option. But Wesker knew how valuable his info was so I knew he would have it locked up so tight that not even the best could get to it. We needed him to get the information. Then there was the issue of feeling like I owed him for saving Jill. 

“Yeah.” was all I said though I knew she could tell I wasn’t happy about it. I don’t think anyone was- except Wesker. “There’s another thing.” I said slowly and she looked at me a bit warily. “Your hair is blonde.” she seemed confused for a minute before slowly reaching behind her to pull her ponytail in front of her to see the pale color. She looked at me with widened eyes full of confusion and terror. I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing that this is what got to her. 

“Wha… what the hell?” she almost shouted at me and I couldn’t contain the laughter that bubbled out of me. “What did he do to me?” now she seemed angry. She had always loved her hair even if her life as a soldier meant that she didn’t do much with it, she still loved it. 

“Wesker said it’s just a side effect of the virus, you lost pigmentation in, well, everywhere.” I explained and her shock deepened as she demanded a mirror. I got up and looked for one, quickly giving up and just gave her my phone. She unlocked it, having already known the password, and opened the camera which she then held in front of her face. She turned her head this way and that as she looked herself over before looking down at her body again. 

“I just thought I was pale from losing blood.” she mumbled as she handed my phone back which I pocketed and sat back down. 

“You still look great.” I told her with a smile and she looked at me skeptically though she smiled back with a shake of her head. “You could always dye it.” I offered and she shrugged. 

“Maybe.” she sighed and settled back into a more comfortable position, turning onto her side to face me. “I’m sorry I was gone so long, I can’t imagine what you went through thinking I was dead.” I snorted a bit at that and sighed, inwardly cringing at myself. 

“I was a mess, Claire had to come babysit me.” I sheepishly admitted and Jill laughed. 

“Well at least it’s good to know how much you really care about me.” she teased and I smiled at her. We sat in silence for a moment as she stared at me, her expression beginning to sour. 

“What?” I asked defensively. 

“You look exhausted, when was the last time you slept?” I groaned and rubbed at my eyes as if it would get rid of the tiredness she could clearly see. 

“I don’t know. With everything that’s been going on it’s been kinda hard.” I explained and her lips pulled into a line as she continued to examine me. I sighed and waited for her to finish her scrutiny, feeling like a kid under her stern gaze. She was again acting like I had been the one in danger and was double checking to make sure I was alright. I couldn’t believe that she was worried about me when she was the one that should be dead. She really needed to be more concerned with herself sometimes. She almost died. 

“Yeah, okay.” she finally said and let her gaze fall from me. “You don’t have to stay here. Go home and get some sleep before they need you to deal with Wesker.” I was just about to object to that when my phone rang. “Too late.” she smirked playfully though there was pity in her eyes. I answered the call that was indeed from HQ. A deal had been presented and both sides were in agreement but it was up to me to officially seal the deal. I didn’t understand why and they wouldn’t say anything else about it until I got there so we could discuss the full terms. Jill told me to keep her informed and I left after we agreed she would be safe without a guard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's been a long time since I've posted anything though it feels good to be back. I'm new to this site but I've been with FF.net for many many years. I'm more used to writing in the third person but I decided to take a first person perspective with this one to get more personal with Chris. It took a little adjusting, I often found myself reverting back to third halfway through a sentence. But I think I got it now. A warning, the first three chapters are going to seem rushed because I just wanted to get through them. No excuses, just lazy and wanted to get to the main story.  
> Originally this was supposed to take place during the 5th game when Chris and Sheva find Wesker with the jet. I had it all written out to... but after thinking more about it, I felt Chris would be much more willing to negotiate with Wesker if he hadn't kidnapped, experimented on, and put Jill against him. For what I have planned, it just made things go smoother. Plus now Jill's going to be a bit softer on him too which helps my plans along even more because now Chris won't be alone.  
> I won't take much time here so I hope you enjoyed and I'll be posting again soon!
> 
> ~Arren


	2. A Deal's Arrangements

I was told that the first thing the man talking to Wesker did was try to show that he wasn’t afraid of him by asking why they should even listen to anything he said and stated that they don’t negotiate with terrorists. Wesker then broke all his bindings, evaded every attack, and threatened to kill everyone as he made his way out. I sighed and internally rolled my eyes as that was a predictable reaction. He was sure they had the means to contain him somehow but if he didn’t want to be there, he would eventually find a way out. He was a superhuman genius with a wide range of specialties, they had to be very careful about how they dealt with him and it seemed they had started off badly. 

It was then agreed to at least hear him out so Wesker had listed that his demands were to be kept well rather than in a cell and to be supplied with writing materials, a list of books, and whatever else he would need, within reason. Those were side conditions but he wouldn’t reveal what the real one was until I was present. After that, he refused to speak at all and nothing they tried worked. It was posed to me as an option and I was even asked how they should proceed, being the ‘Wesker expert’ and being highly regarded as one of the founders of the whole organization. I told them they wouldn’t get anything out of Wesker that he didn’t want out so while I hated having to play right into his hands, what he had was too important to pass up and Wesker knew it. He would push as far as he wanted within the limits of it still being ‘worth it’ and we would have to comply. Our only choice was to give him what he wanted while his demands were still low as he would no doubt start to stack them the more annoyed he became with people which was why I also advised little contact. I didn’t say it but the whole ‘being kept well’ thing was probably a result of the poor negotiating in the beginning. 

Wesker had told them that the evidence was on his phone but it was encrypted and only he was able to get into it, one wrong move and everything would be lost. A backup existed but he would have to be physically present to get it. So if we wanted to avoid having to bring him along for that, he advised that no one attempt to hack into his phone but it was up to us. There was already a lot of debate about whether or not to hack it anyway. The tech department had at least taken a peek at the encryption and hesitated so I shut down the idea to hack it, saying it was better to have it ready than to be forced to agree to take Wesker along to retrieve the backup. 

Once all that was settled, I was sent in to confront Wesker in the very thick reinforced glass cell he was currently in. 

“Chris, how wonderful of you to finally join the negotiation.” it was unexpected to be greeted warmly though it was still as condescending as ever.

“Cut the shit Wesker, just tell me what you want.” I demanded as I rubbed my eyes again, really starting to feel just how tired I truly was. 

“You really should get some sleep.” his tone hadn’t changed but when I looked back at him his smirk was replaced with his usual stoic expression. He was being serious. What the hell? Was he actually concerned about my wellbeing? Of course not, he’s just messing with me while he knows I’m too tired to really deal with it. That was true but I also just wasn’t in the mood to be messed with and that’s all Wesker did so I didn’t want to be here longer than was absolutely necessary. 

“I’m fine.” I snapped more out of confusion than anger though I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t getting a bit grumpy. 

“Alright.” the blond dropped it and smirked again much to my dismay. “You have to stay with me in captivity for one whole month, down to the very last hour.” the words were simple enough but they hit me about the same as when the man had told me he was turning himself in. I stood there shocked for a few silent moments as he waited, again too patiently as I processed what he was saying. 

“What?” was all I could dumbly say. 

“I won’t harm you. There can be visual surveillance though I won’t stand for auditory surveillance. I’ll leave it up to you how we’re detained but it has to be a shared space.” he went on as if I wasn’t already lost. “You have the rest of the day to think it over before I recant the deal and escape.” and then he drops that bombshell. 

“Uh…” I honestly had no idea what to say or think for that matter. My brain had already been in overdrive because of all of this and now it was threatening to shut down. Without knowing what else to say, I wordlessly walked away and ignored the chuckling from the cell. 

Everyone told me that it was completely up to me if I was going to do it or not but it was obvious they were expecting me to take the deal. I guess somehow I already knew I was going to but I really needed to get away and give my mind a little time to try to make sense of any of this. So I went home. I didn’t call Jill though someone did because I then got a call from the hospital that I assumed was her. I let it go to voicemail which I then listened to just to make sure it wasn’t actually the nurses calling me to say something had happened. It was Jill so I stopped listening. I didn’t want anyone else’s thoughts on this, at least not until I could figure out my own. 

I did shut down from the stress of it all and woke up with a massive headache. It wasn’t that late so I don’t think I was out for long but I could think more clearly. Of course I was going to take the deal. I had to in order to save millions of lives. With that in mind, it wasn’t that bad… I mean it could be much worse. Saving countless lives versus spending a month with Wesker? As much as I hated it, it was an easy decision. I called in with an affirmative on the deal but refused to go back in. I called Jill to let her know exactly what was going on. She was silent for a long time before simply wishing me luck and promising to be there if I needed anything. She must have been thinking about it a lot as well the past few hours and reached the same conclusion as I had. She said one last thing before she hung up that made me feel like a weight had come off my chest. 

“Tell him thank you for me.” 

I wasn’t alone in these cursed feelings of gratitude for the evil man. He had done something genuinely good that he didn’t have to for no discernable reason other than just to save Jill and by extension, me. He could have let her die and turned himself in with all the same demands and still gotten his way but he went through all the effort of saving her instead. I wasn’t alone in feeling like maybe, somehow, in his own way… that he cared. I’m sure we were wrong but at least I wasn’t alone in thinking that maybe STARS wasn’t just an act for him. I wasn’t alone in feeling like we were somehow important. And maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t alone in feeling like he could be changed or that maybe he already was changing. The last thing he had done before this was kill Oswell E. Spencer, the man behind Umbrella and the last remaining piece to everything that controlled him his whole life. I knew I was getting my hopes far, far too high but I wanted to believe that’s what he needed in order to feel free to do whatever he wanted to do and that came with a change of perspective that didn’t include all his evil plans. I would never expect him to regret what he’s already done but that didn’t mean he couldn’t change what he did in the future. 

I was up all night thinking about this and kicked myself in the morning after some coffee, reminding myself that he wasn’t changing and he would never just suddenly become a better person. There was some angle he was playing. There was something he was getting out of this even if I couldn’t see it yet. 

I later met with an architect the BSAA hired to build an underground cell for us to stay in and I was supposed to help him design it. I didn’t know why I was supposed to do that but they said they were taking my advice to be careful with Wesker and he had said he would leave it up to me so that’s what we were doing. Leaving it up to me. Great. I thought about it for a long time. I didn’t want to be stuck with him at all times, I wanted my own space, so I got my own room and bathroom. It was a start. I wanted somewhere to lock him in if I felt the need so his cell became its own room though I refused to call it his bedroom since he didn’t deserve that. He wouldn’t care about the lack of privacy needed for the bathroom, even if he did they were going to monitor him at all times anyway. So the bathroom was in the same room as his cell with just a curtain to separate them though it wouldn’t go all the way around to give him any privacy. As an added safety precaution, both my bedroom and bathroom doors would lock from the inside while his cell door would lock from the outside. It was a small gesture and I knew the doors wouldn’t be enough to stop him if he didn’t want them to but it did make me feel a bit better about this whole thing. It reassured me that despite putting me in this situation, the BSAA was at least trying to make sure I was as comfortable and safe as possible. 

Jill was released from the hospital since there was nothing actually wrong with her anymore and the doctors didn’t know what to do with her. The BSAA still wanted to perform some tests just to make sure of a few things. She even demanded and they tested to be sure her hair wasn’t just dyed and was disappointed that Wesker had been telling the truth that it was actually changed. It was a funny thought though that Wesker had dyed her hair just to mess with her. If the man had a normal sense of humor rather than a twisted one, I’d even say he would do it just to see her reaction. Jill joined the planning once everyone was done with her and we learned that she truly was fine and we both shared a knowing look. I internally thanked Wesker again and secretly hoped that Jill did too. I still hadn’t told Wesker that she wanted to thank him, I felt that it was wrong so I didn’t want to say it while there was so much surveillance and someone else could hear. It could wait. I assumed that Jill felt the same because she hadn’t been to see him at all. Some believed it to be trauma but I knew better. Yes, she had some trauma, she basically remembers falling to her death and the surgeries it took to keep her alive. But that didn’t have to do with Wesker. She didn’t face him because she didn’t feel like thanking him would be wise when others who wouldn’t understand could hear. 

We went back and forth with how to connect the rooms when it was thrown in that it would be best to have a kitchen area otherwise meals would need to be brought in daily which allowed for too much outside contact. Jill joked that we were just making an apartment which was followed by silence. It somehow made everything more clear. One of the conditions was that he would be imprisoned comfortably and even after Chris was able to leave, it would provide all the same safety precautions to prevent him from escaping. The only time he would get any sort of contact would be to resupply the kitchen. Yes it was more than he deserved but it met the demands, prevented him from escaping, kept me and anyone else that might have to go down there safe, and kept Wesker away from anyone else to possibly make new contacts. So we made an apartment though I wouldn’t let anyone call it that or Wesker’s room a bedroom because that was too far for me. It was a prison, the room was his cell, and I was the warden. This became somewhat of a joke and whenever a new job came up involving this case, we titled it something relating to the prison system. There would be a heavily secured elevator that would lead down to the hallway filled with security measures, booby traps are basically what they really were. The ‘front door’ was reinforced steel with a few different types of locks on it ranging from deadbolts to fingerprint scanners. All of it on the outside so even though I was in the system, I couldn’t unlock the door until after the month was over.

When the architect was done with the floor plan and we all agreed on it, I took it to Wesker though it only showed the prison, not anything of the security beyond it. I pressed it to the glass so he could look it over. The entrance led into the living room, my room was to the left and his cell was to the right, beyond that was the kitchen and the connected dining area, and just off to the side of that was space for a washer and dryer. It wasn’t big or nice by any means but it was still more than he deserved. Wesker seemed a little displeased about something but nodded and said it would do. So the men got to work building it. They were scheduled to finish it before the first of the following month which would begin my incarceration with Wesker and last until the very last hour of the month. 

I spent the remainder of my time away from the BSAA, having been reassured that taking some time off before I had to do this was best for me. I was alone for the most part but Jill came by often since she was also given some time off after what she had been through. We both appreciated the company. We talked about what happened to her only a little bit. She wasn’t looking forward to starting therapy per the BSAA’s procedures but understood why it was needed. I asked her if she blamed Wesker and she said she didn’t. She blamed him for almost killing me but it was her who tackled him out of a window overlooking a cliff and instead of leaving her to die, he saved her and brought her home. We didn’t talk about it again because she wasn’t ready. So we talked about what I should bring with me. At first I said I didn’t need anything but she assured me I would get bored, pointing out that even Wesker wanted books to keep entertained. That was the last time either of us so much as brought him up, both too ashamed to admit our feelings that betrayed our minds. Jill assured me she would pack some things she thought I might like to keep me busy. I would usually turn to work to keep busy but it was already made clear to me that I wouldn’t be sent any while I was down there in case Wesker got to it which I understood but it was still irritating. I agreed to whatever Jill wanted to have me take. 

I called Claire to update her on what I could. Jill was found alive though I couldn’t really go into detail about how so I just never brought up the extent of her injuries. I thought she would continue to pretend I had never mentioned Wesker with such sadness during my drunken state but she asked if he was also found and if I was okay. I hung up on her because I didn’t know how to answer. It was like she knew all of the guilty feelings I was hiding and had directly questioned me about it. It was then that I realized that I wanted- no, I _needed_ to talk to her about this. I couldn’t talk about it with Jill because she was going through the same thing and was just as confused and guilty over it as I was. Maybe Claire could help her sort it out later too but I needed to get myself together before I went in there and Claire had less of a bias about Wesker than anyone else I could possibly share this with. Plus she was my little sister and I didn’t like to keep things from her. I ended up getting permission from the higher ups to tell her everything, her position in TerraSave greatly helped the approval, though she had to sign a document of confidentiality. I called her back and told her to come to my apartment so we could talk and I warned her about the paper in case she didn’t want to know. Of course she agreed to sign it for me and said she would visit over the weekend. 

As promised, Claire came to stay with me for the weekend and I sat her on the couch so I could tell her everything. She listened intently with little quips of feedback or questions here and there but for the most part she was quiet and just listened. 

“What do you think?” I asked, a touch more nervous than I liked. 

“I think you’re crazy.” she said a bit harshly with folded arms and a stern look on her face. I deflated a little in disappointment. Just because I said she had less of a bias against him than others I know, myself included, doesn’t mean she didn’t still hate the man. “But,” she continued with a sigh as she looked down at her lap. “I understand why you agreed. I would probably do the same thing if it meant preventing so much pain and death.” she admitted and I breathed in an air of relief. 

“Exactly.” I nodded and relaxed more into the couch behind me. 

“What are you bringing?” 

“What?” he asked, feeling confused about her sudden question. 

“Well the prison is gonna need furniture.” the redhead stated matter of fact. 

“Oh. Yeah, we’ve got all the basics covered.” I replied, not really caring about that. 

“I figured but what are _you_ bringing? Is your room comfortable? Do you have enough to keep busy since you can’t work?” her voice was a bit more rushed now and I knew that was a sign of her nervousness. She was probably going over the different ways this could go wrong in her head. She always worried too much for a tough girl. I chuckled at all the different times I recalled her stressing over me though I was her strong older brother. She was just such a kind and loving person and I loved that about her. 

“Jill’s insisting that she pack some things for me to keep me from getting bored.” I told her and she nodded. 

“That’s good.” she looked around for a moment. “Do you have a tv?” she asked, pointing to the small smart tv that sat in front of us. 

“It’s a prison.” I reminded her. 

“Not for you.” she shot back. “Take your tv- and your laptop- and your phone. Can I still contact you?” I took her hand to get her to look at me. 

“Thank you for looking out for me but I’ll be fine Claire.” I assured her with a soft smile and she sighed, squeezing my hand. 

“I just want you to be okay.” she smiled playfully back at me. “Otherwise those months I spent chasing you around the world would’ve been for nothing.” we both laughed at that. “You are taking your stuff though.” she stated seriously. “You’ll thank me later.” 

“Fine.” I rolled my eyes. “And yes, we’ll still be able to talk.” she nodded and seemed satisfied. Now or never I guess. “There’s um, there’s actually something else I wanted to talk to you about.” I stated as I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her anymore as her inquisitive bright blue eyes turned to me. “It’s about what I was saying… while I was drinking.” 

“I thought you didn’t remember-” 

“We were both pretending I didn’t say anything.” I corrected hastily and she nodded, understanding why I would want to pretend I hadn’t acted as if I was sad that my nemesis was possibly dead. “Look, I- back in STARS I think I…” I took a deep breath and had to give myself a minute. This was a lot harder to say out loud than I thought it was going to be as I’d never done it before, not even while I was alone. I hardly ever let the thought form in my own mind before banishing it to the darkest corner of my brain. My sister’s hand rubbed at my back as she scooted closer to me on the couch, her leg now touching mine as her free hand rested on my arm. I felt better with the comforting touches and her loving aura around me. 

“Take your time.” Claire reassured me that it was okay and she was there. I took another deep breath and ripped the bandaid off. 

“I had a crush on Wesker.” I finally forced out and noticed her eyes widened from my peripheral vision and her hand stopped rubbing my back though it remained on me. I didn’t blame her for freezing in shock, not only did I just confess to once having a crush on another man but Albert Wesker of all men. “I don’t anymore but he saved Jill and- I don’t know! It’s- I think it’s doing something weird to me.” I sighed in frustration, putting my head in my hands. “It’s stirring up old feelings and thoughts and I’m pretty sure Jill feels the same way.” I tried to explain but knew I was failing miserably. I didn’t know what was going on with me so how was I supposed to put it into words for someone else to understand? But that was why I was talking to her about it, right? In the hopes that she could help me figure it out. 

“Jill had a crush on him too?” she asked almost in disgust. 

“What?” my head turned to her to see the baffled expression she wore. “No! I mean, I don’t think so. That’s not the point!” I turned to glare at the ground again. “I just mean she’s feeling mixed up about it. Wesker doesn’t care about anyone but himself yet there’s no reason for him saving Jill. He was the only one involved that didn’t gain anything from it.” 

“Are you sure?” she asked hesitantly and I thought for a minute. 

“Positive. If he was gonna get anything out of saving her, it would have been by using her as some sort of experiment and he was right, the evidence shows that he didn’t.” 

“What if the experiment was seeing if the T-virus could heal her without mutating?” her question took me by surprise and I should have thought about that more but for some reason I felt defensive. 

“Claire, he went to the trouble of bringing her home.” I reminded her and she shrugged. “He could have killed her and still gotten his way with turning himself in, which is another weird thing all on its own.” I sat back up so Claire moved her arm and I stared up at the ceiling. We were quiet for a while and I could practically hear the gears turning in her head. 

“Are you gay?” she suddenly asked and I looked at her, dumbfounded. 

“That’s what you got out of all this?” 

“Sorry, I just didn’t think you were the type…” she trailed off, not wanting to finish and I wondered if that grossed her out. 

“I’m not even sure I am.” I shrugged. “It’s not like I ever think about guys and I’m still interested in women. Wesker was the only man I ever thought about like that and I’ve tried to forget about it ever since he betrayed us. But with this, I don’t know, maybe-” 

“Please don’t say that.” Claire cut in and when I looked at her, she looked afraid. I looked around as if there was some sort of danger around us but of course there was nothing. 

“Why?” 

“It makes it sound like you… just please, don’t say that.” I slowly nodded and we fell back to silence. I knew what she was going to say and I was grateful that she didn’t. If I thought admitting a crush was something to be stricken even from thought, that was forbidden territory never to exist even in the deepest bits of my subconscious. Yet… it was now there. “Chris-” 

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” I interrupted and she gave me a worried look. “But maybe you should try to talk to Jill about this stuff too, see if you can help her figure it out. Do me a favor though and don’t mention the… thing. I’ll tell her about that when I’m ready… even if that’s never.” I wasn’t about to say it again but luckily I didn’t have to because she nodded in understanding. 

“Alright.” was all she said but gave my arm a reassuring squeeze. “Everything will be okay and if you need anything, I’ll be there for you.” she promised with a smile that I returned. Even if this didn’t help me figure out my feelings, I was still glad we had this talk. 

“I know Claire, thank you.” I leaned in to kiss the top of her head. “Same to you. If you have a rough day at work or whatever, call and we can talk about it.” 

“Is that how you’re going to live for the month? Vicariously through others?” she joked and I laughed. 

“I thought we were trying to help me _not_ be bored?” I shot back and her mouth gaped in offense before she punched my arm. She laughed with me and just like that everything was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So from here we'll go day by day of the two's imprisonment together, even if it's rather mundane. The chapter lengths will probably vary greatly depending on what happens that day. Just a warning, the first few will most likely be short but I already have the next few done so they'll be out quickly. I was actually already working into Day 2 by the time I posted the first chapter.  
> See you all later, feedback is great, and hope you continue to enjoy!
> 
> ~Arren


	3. Day 0

It was a very busy day. The first was tomorrow, technically speaking it was at midnight tonight and we were still moving things in. All of the heavy lifting was finally done at least. There was a set up of standard furniture: a small dining table with two chairs, a large couch in the living room so I wouldn’t have to sit too close to Wesker if we were both sitting there, a coffee table in front of the couch, and all the major kitchen and laundry appliances were installed. Wesker’s cell was simple with a twin bed, a desk with a chair, and a dresser. My room was more comfortable and accommodating with a queen bed, a desk with a chair, a dresser, an armchair, a small tv stand for the tv we had yet to bring in, and a locked safe for my gun. Nothing had been stocked yet as that was my job since I would be the one living here and eating the food.

As we agreed, there were no microphones but there were cameras everywhere except for my bathroom though there was one in my bedroom upon my insistence. It was just another precautionary measure, I was able to turn it on and off depending on whether I felt like I needed it. They were all equipped with night vision and there would be around the clock surveillance of the monitors to keep an eye on the situation. The tech department was doing a final check on the cameras to make sure they all worked. So we all had to work around each other in the small prison as we hurried to get everything finished but we managed somehow. 

Both Jill and Claire went shopping with me for all the necessary items the prison would need using BSAA money which felt weird to me as I had only ever used the organization’s money for weapons and tactical gear. I had to remind myself that this too was a mission so this was all necessary. We ended up making three trips,  _ three _ . The whole thing took way longer than it should have and I really regretted not going by myself. I would have gotten the basics and been back within a single trip. That was originally the plan but Claire wanted to make a day of it, something about the last time she would see me. It was a joke but something inside me winced. 

The first trip was for supplies for the kitchen, bathrooms, laundry room, and basic bedding for Wesker as I was bringing my own. I was tempted to get him something colorful which the girls thought was hilarious but I thought better of intentionally pissing him off so we figured something black was a safe bet. We dropped everything off at headquarters for someone else to take down so we didn’t have to go all that way just to leave again. 

The second trip was for food, plenty of it. The girls disapproved of some of the junk food I got but my dietary habits were fine and I had the body to prove it so they backed off. We all seemed to avoid the question of what Wesker would like though both Jill and I grabbed some items we remembered him liking back in STARS. Neither of us said anything or acknowledged that’s what we were doing because it fell under those mixed up feelings we shared. Again we dropped everything off for someone else to take down, asking that they put away the things that needed to be either frozen or refrigerated. 

The third trip was for personal needs and the things from my apartment that I was bringing. We stopped by my place first for my clothes, bedding, the small smart tv I hardly used, my laptop, and my favorite green coffee mug that said ‘built like a boulder’ on it. Then we went out to a few different stores to get various items including a few notebooks, a box of pens, and things the girls thought I should have to keep entertained. At some point Claire grabbed a child’s chemistry set and wouldn’t let me say no to it because she thought it was funny. I was sure there was another joke item they weren’t telling me about because they both got very quiet after running off while I was looking over something else. It seemed to be Jill’s idea since she was the one that paid for it and rushed it out to the car. She seemed proud of herself for it too and was trying to keep Claire acting casual. By this point I just wanted to be done so I didn’t even try to figure out what they had grabbed. Our last stop was managing to get all the books Wesker wanted. Some of them were old classics, some read more like textbooks, and some actually were textbooks. While we were in the bookstore, the girls threw in a few recommendations though I didn’t really read fiction. But I wasn’t in the mood to argue so they got me a few books I doubted I would pick up. After that we were finally on our way back to finish getting everything set up. 

Since the security system wasn’t yet turned on and she had already signed the form of secrecy, Claire was able to come down with us to help. By the time we arrived, everyone else had finished with what they were doing and were gone so it was just the three of us. We started in the kitchen, putting away the rest of the food before moving on to the small appliances, the pots and pans, and the dishes and utensils. We moved onto Wesker’s cell and we all hesitated at the door. He’d never been in here yet and already it was awkward and tense. I tried to shrug away the feeling of dread creeping over the edges of my senses. I cleared my throat to get the girls’ attention and smiled at them. 

“Why don’t you two get my stuff and start in my room?” I suggested and they both agreed with quick nods before going to do that. I took a deep breath and finally stepped through the threshold. I didn’t like being in here and the man wasn’t even here yet… I dreaded what it would feel like when he was here. As far as I knew they were planning on moving him in later tonight. I glanced at my watch, a few more hours at least and we were almost done so it was fine. Even if we didn’t finish in my room, I could just do it later. The important thing was to get this room finished so I would hopefully never have to come back in here again. I momentarily spaced out as I thought about the different situations that could arise that would force me back in here. I shook my head and took another breath so I could hurry and get this over with. There was no way for me to know what was going to happen so I would just have to deal with whatever came as it did. 

I started with the bathroom supplies leaving the toilet paper where it went, stocking the shower shelf with soap and shampoo, a small bottle of hand soap on the sink, and a tube of toothpaste along with a sealed toothbrush there as well. Then I made the bed, quickly getting the sheets and the pillow settled in a typical military style. Then I moved on to the clothes we were providing for Wesker, mostly just dark colored sweatpants and tshirts. Again he invaded my thoughts as I wondered how he would look in something so casual, especially since he wasn’t being allowed his sunglasses. I shook my head free of such thoughts again and tried focussing solely on what I was doing. The clothes were already folded so I just arranged them in the drawers of the dresser, again in a military fashion. If he didn’t like it then he could rearrange it himself. I wondered if he would rearrange anything in the room or just leave everything as it was. I set the books on top of the dresser and left the notebooks and pens on the desk. The last thing I did was leave a small metal trash can in the bathroom area. I did a quick sweep of the room to make sure I didn’t forget anything before finally leaving with a brisk pace. 

“Hey, how are my two favorite people coming along?” I called happily as I entered my own room for the next month, trying to hide the anxiety I was feeling. But of course they saw through it and gave me sympathetic smiles in return. 

“Well we got your clothes put away and your bed made.” Jill pointed out as she started pulling out my bathroom stuff from the bags. 

“And we set up your little entertainment toys.” Claire mentioned with a gesture to the top of the dresser. I looked over some of the stuff, seeing fidgeting toys and puzzles. I rolled my eyes, again thinking that I wouldn’t need such things but I was still grateful that they were thinking of me. “Let us know- well, I guess just Jill, if you need or want anything else.” Claire said as she started to check herself for her own belongings. 

“It’s only a month, I’ll be fine.” I reassured her with a questioning gaze. “Are you leaving?” 

“Yeah it’s getting late and I have to work in the morning.” she said as she hugged me and I hugged her back tightly. “I know you have to be up to come back here at midnight but try to get some sleep after that, okay?” she pleaded with me, still not pulling out of our embrace- not that I would let her go if she tried. I was trying to play this off like it was no big deal but it was a very big deal and I really didn’t want to do it. 

“I’ll try.” I told her though it was muffled in her shoulder. We stayed like that a moment longer before I finally told myself to let her go. 

“You can text or call me whenever.” she reminded me with a reassuring smile and I nodded as I thanked her. We said our goodbyes and she left. I heard Jill sigh and looked at her to see her rubbing her head. It’d been a long day for her too. 

“How are you holding up?” I asked as I moved to help her carry stuff into my bathroom and start putting everything away. 

“I’ve got a headache but I’m fine.” she told me and I could hear the tiredness creeping in her voice. I wanted to tell her to go home and try to sleep but I knew she wouldn’t listen, I wouldn’t either if she told me to do the same. So I dropped it and we continued to work. We finished in the bathroom and then got the tv hooked up. “Are you sure you’ll be okay alone with him?” she asked as she placed the trash can while I unpacked my laptop and set it up on the desk. 

“I don’t know Jill, it depends on what he’s really planning.” I answered truthfully while putting all the extra stuff in the small closet in my room. “But you’ll be watching over me so I’m sure I can handle him well enough until you arrive to back me up, partner.” she smiled at that and nodded. Though she had cleared all the physical tests, Jill was still on desk duty until she finished her required therapy so she volunteered to be the main overseer of this prison. We silently hugged to tell each other that everything would be fine. I was sure it was the longest hug we had shared but we’d both been through a lot recently and there was only more to come. When we did finally part, she handed me my mug with a small smile. 

“All set.” she said and I sighed as I looked down at my mug before putting it on the desk next to my laptop. I took my gun and it’s holster off of my belt and locked it in the safe before we left my room. I locked it behind us and we quickly cleaned up before heading for the exit. I looked over the prison again, trying not to think about how the next time I was in here I would be trapped with Wesker for a full month. I only had a few hours left. “Come on, let’s go get a stiff drink.” Jill nudged me and I liked the sound of that so I gladly left with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Short. I know I could have expanded on this chapter so much by going more into the shopping trips or other things I skimmed over but honestly I didn't want to because I'm on Chris's side about the shopping. Call me lazy but I want to get to the main plot of the story. It's fine like this anyway.
> 
> ~Arren


	4. Day 1

Though I was expecting the feeling of doom that weighed down on me as soon as that door clicked shut and all the locks engaged, the tension still suffocated me and I choked on my nerves. I was officially trapped in here with Wesker for the next month. A full thirty days of just the two of us. All of my doubts about this whole thing came rushing to the forefront of my mind but I knew right from the start that there was no other option. I took a deep breath and looked again at the door I had just walked through before looking around the shared prison. I just was now realizing that I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing here. Did I keep to myself in my room, avoiding Wesker at all costs? Did I keep an eye on Wesker? Where was he anyway? I had expected the man to greet me in some way like he always did with that smug smirk on his lips. But he wasn’t anywhere to be seen though he’d been brought in a few hours ago. It was late, exactly midnight as it started the first day, maybe he was asleep. Did he even sleep? Should I go check on what he was doing or should I just go to my room and pretend I wasn’t nervous and could still sleep without thinking about where I was? 

I stood there by the front door thinking about what to do a lot longer than I would like to admit but the whole atmosphere was so filled with heavy tension and dread that it was hard for me to move. I was suddenly questioning whether I would last a whole month here… but I had to because so many lives were at stake. 

“Are you going to stand there all night?” Wesker’s voice called from his cell and I glared in that direction. His light was off but he obviously wasn’t asleep and I wondered briefly if he was watching me though I couldn’t see him from where I stood. I huffed and my anger was enough to get me to his cell to close and lock the door. There was something satisfying about locking him in and I was grateful I got to do whenever I wanted. I then went to my room, unlocked my bedroom door using the key in my pocket, and locked it again once I was inside. I let out a nervous breath and went to lay on my bed. I laid there and thought about my situation for a long time. Dozens of questions flitted around my mind but one burned more than the rest. Why is this what he wanted? Maybe I could try to get some questions out of him later. For now, though I knew I wouldn’t be able to, I tried to sleep. 

… … … 

I must have dozed off at some point because I woke up. I sat up and rubbed at my eyes tiredly as I looked around my darkened surroundings. I didn’t feel at all rested and I blamed that on my current living arrangement… with Wesker. I still didn’t understand what that insane bastard was thinking or what he wanted but I finally decided I wouldn’t care about that anymore. He had been right back in the hospital, I wasn’t going to get the answer so why fret over it so much? I didn’t like admitting he was right about anything, it left a sour taste in my mouth but honestly he was right more often than not about a lot of things. 

I got out of bed and made my way out of my room, glancing over to Wesker’s cell when I noticed a little bit of light coming from the bottom of the door. He was awake but I didn’t want to deal with him right now so I went about getting some coffee going. I left it to run as I went back to my room to take a quick shower. I locked my bedroom door again and checked to make sure the camera was off before undressing and entering my bathroom, locking that door too, and getting into the shower. 

Once I was back in the kitchen area, I poured myself a cup of coffee and made it how I liked before taking it with me to the couch. I sat and watched Wesker’s door like it was the man himself. I didn’t want to unlock his door and let him out but I knew eventually I would have to. Still, I took my time drinking my coffee before pouring myself another cup. I stared at the remaining coffee in the pot for a moment before dumping it down the sink. I wasn’t about to have it thought that I left some for Wesker- if he even still drank coffee. I sat back down on the couch and continued to stare at the door. He didn’t deserve to come out, he didn’t deserve the comfort he was being given here because of the deal. It only made it worse that I was the one who inevitably agreed to said deal. But I had to- so much more was at stake. Maybe this was part of his plan, to get me filled with so much guilt about having to treat him nicely that I hated myself and he got to watch my misery. Now that made some sense but it wasn’t something he would go to these lengths for. No, something bigger was going on here. 

With no windows, it was impossible to guess the time but my watch read near three in the afternoon. Maybe Wesker was hungry by now. Did he even eat? With a deep sigh, I finally stood from the couch and made my way over to Wesker’s door. I listened in but couldn’t really hear anything so I unlocked the door and thought about leaving it like that but I opened it too. Nothing had changed from when I was in there yesterday though the bed was made differently and the dresser was moved a bit closer to the bed. Wesker was sitting at the desk scribbling away in one of the notebooks. I looked him over in the dark sweatpants and tshirt that had been provided to him and though he didn’t have any gel, his hair was still slicked back perfectly. That actually annoyed me that he still seemed so damn professional even like this. I guess some part of my mind was hoping to catch him unraveled and I thought being locked up without any say in anything was sure to do it. At least the sunglasses were gone. 

“You don’t have to remain in the doorway Chris, you’re welcome to come in.” he stated without acknowledging me in any other way. I folded my arms a bit defensively as best I could with my mug still in one hand. 

“I know.” I said as strongly as I could but even though it was Wesker and this was supposed to be a prison for him, it still felt wrong to just barge in. And I still didn’t want to go into the room, I was right about it being worse with Wesker actually present. 

“Was there something you needed?” Wesker spoke again before he turned to look at me, those slitted red and yellow eyes staring at me. I didn’t even realize I had been staring at him for so long and cleared my throat to rid myself of the wave of embarrassment trying to hit me. 

“There are some rules we need to go over.” I stated sternly but he only returned to his writing as if he had lost interest in the conversation. Was he expecting me to say something else? 

“I’m not to harm you nor try to escape, I’m not to attempt to enter your room or touch any of your belongings, and my door is to remain open unless you close it.” he answered, sounding rather bored. “You have the right to go over anything I write in these journals or search me and my room at any given time. No doubt you have a firearm tucked away and can use it on me if you ever feel threatened. Additionally you’re allowed to restrict my comfort as much as you see fit for whatever reason.” he finished and shot me a dangerous look over his shoulder. “Though I wouldn’t recommend that if you wish for me to remain civil.” I glared right back at him for the threat. 

“Don’t give me any reason to think you’re being anything but civil or I will.” I shot back and we glared at each other for a moment before he turned back to his work. Obviously there was more but that covered the main basics so I knew someone had already gone over everything with him beforehand. After another minute of watching his hand move, I sighed and leaned against the doorframe. “What are you so busy working on anyway?” I didn’t expect him to answer but we both knew I could walk over there and read it right now if I wanted to. He stopped and seemed to think about this for a moment before looking back at me. 

“I asked for these with the intention of having you read them, however I only ask that you wait until each is finished.” he informed me, surprisingly sincere. I only nodded my agreement and he went back to it. I stood there a bit longer before clearing my throat again but Wesker didn’t acknowledge me this time. 

“Jill wanted to say thank you.” he only hummed in response so I turned and walked across the living room to my own bedroom, locking the door behind me. I got onto my laptop to try to find something to distract me from my current situation but there was nothing to do so I ended up closing my laptop and moved to the armchair. I turned on the tv to find something to watch but it was just background noise. When I realized I was still thinking too much about things, I turned the tv off and threw myself back in bed. I needed something to focus on. I wished I could do some work. I was tempted to text Jill but I didn’t want to seem like I was succumbing to my nerves already, it was still only the first day. 

… … … 

I ended up in my armchair with the tv on again and that’s where I was for the rest of the day until I finally decided to call it a night. I left my room and went to Wesker’s cell, peeking in at first to find him back at his desk writing. Without bothering him I started to close the door. 

“Chris.” he called so I stopped and peered back in. 

“What?” I watched as he flipped through his notebook to find a certain page before he tore it and the two behind it out. He turned in his seat and looked me directly in the eye as he held them out for me. 

“We can discuss it in the morning if you wish.” he said calmly but there was a certain intensity in his gaze that almost intimidated me. I don’t mean that he was scary, that was an entirely different type of look, but it was serious in a way I had never seen from him before. If it was anyone else I might say it was a look of desperation. It was unnerving and I was suddenly nervous about taking the pages from him. But he continued to stare at me like this was something important. So I very carefully stepped into his cell and slowly accepted the papers. 

I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything. I backed out of the cell, shut the door, locked it, stood there for a moment to collect myself, and locked myself back in my room. I placed the papers from Wesker onto my desk and stared at them for a few long minutes before I finally decided to just get it over with. I sat in my chair and started reading what these three pages contained. 

It was titled ‘Project W’ and the more I got into it, I realized they were memories and information concerning the title though it read more like a report. I had read plenty of his reports back in STARS and while they lacked personality, they were very informative. These were no different but they weren’t about some case we had finished, it was his life. That’s why he seemed so serious about it. 

Albert Wesker just handed me a secret of his life. 

~ 

When I finally discovered Spencer’s whereabouts, I took my time killing his guards as I progressed through his final mansion. I wanted him to know I was coming, I wanted him to quake in fear as he realized he was going to die. What I hadn’t expected was for him to reveal the purpose behind my life. Nor did I anticipate him seeming so delighted with how I turned out. I was hollow as he described to me how I was selected for his new race of humans, furious to learn my entire existence had been manufactured. 

He spoke of his new race and his delusions, appalling me with the idea we were meant to ascend him into godhood. I looked upon his frail body and found the notion of him being a god laughable. How could he expect to create beings above himself and expect them to follow one as low as himself? Only one truly capable of being of god deserves that right. He was arrogant and weak, unlike the beings he sought to create, and only I remained of hundreds of Wesker children. I was more than capable and deserving so I would claim that right along with his life. 

I took a great deal of pleasure in killing him. A sense of relief just before my hand plunged through his chest. I felt the life leave him, felt the last beats of his old heart against my arm. Disgust is what I felt for the old fool that had programmed me to seek him out but in killing him, I discovered I no longer felt the pull. I had broken free of the mold I had been forged in. He never expected that one of his prodigal children would turn on him, much less kill him. I considered his death to be my first action that I knew for sure was of my own will. And it felt so gratifying. 

I hadn’t anticipated the BSAA arriving so soon but I was pleased to see it was Chris who had come. It was obvious they hadn’t expected to find me there but Spencer was mine to deal with. I rather enjoyed our fight, as I commonly did but somehow it felt different. I still had much to contemplate and this was just a distraction though it evidently led to the realization I have since faced and accepted. 

I was to kill Chris, poised to take his life in much the same fashion as I took Spencer’s. But I hesitated. I didn’t feel the same need to end him as I had the old man, in fact I found the idea of his existence no longer being present in the world rather distasteful. I watched him struggle and look away as he prepared himself but he wasn’t afraid. He never was. If I were a god, why did he hunt me without fear? One does not hunt a god and a god does not enjoy being hunted. 

If I was a god who chose whether he lived or died in my world, I would rather he live to continue his hunt. I looked forward to our next encounter. 

My arm lowered just before Jill was suddenly in my peripheral vision, I had been so distracted by Chris I had neglected to check on her recovery. It was too late for me to evade but I at least was able to release Chris so he was not taken down with us. It was a small victory but, somehow, still a victory nonetheless. 

She held onto me for the entirety of the fall though she never screamed out in fear, already resigned to what was to become of her. I took most of the landing force, the damage was extensive but it wasn’t long before I healed enough to move. Jill was still alive, barely, but she was there. Resilient as ever. I did always respect that about my hunters and I believe I had pushed them to become such good soldiers. I was proud even if it was my head they sought. 

If I was a god who chose whether she lived or died in my world, she would live and continue to amaze me with her persistence. So live she shall. 

I am above human, that much I still know to be true, but a god? I chose to spare Jill because letting her die and never seeing how she continued to grow didn’t seem as amusing. I didn’t choose to spare Chris, I found I was rather incapable of killing him. I simply did not want him to die and I can not explain the purpose for such a conclusion but it is one I’ve come to accept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to be clear that the ending in each of these chapters will be in Wesker's perspective of the memories aforementioned in the letters that he's giving to Chris but they are not the letters. I didn't want to have to bother writing these out like a Wesker report, I just wanted to go with it so that's what I did. That said, much of the information you read will be what Chris is reading. While it may not be exactly what the letter is saying, the same information will be passed on, just maybe not as directly. Like he wouldn't outright write that he didn't want to kill Chris but the gist would be there. 
> 
> ~Arren


	5. Day 2

The night crept by me slowly and I barely managed to get a bit of a nap. I was so tired but my mind was too active to allow me any peace. There’s been too much going on, too much to think about. I was so tired, I just wanted to stop thinking. I wished for my brain to reach critical and shut down again but it wouldn’t. I thought about asking if I could get a special delivery of some form of sleeping aid but figured maybe that wasn’t a good idea. I just needed a little more time to adapt to this and I would be fine. 

I groaned and sat up in bed, not accustomed to lazing around all day. I glared at my surroundings as I came to the realization that I once again had nothing to do today. I was so used to a routine and so much work to be done or a mission to set off on but here, there was absolutely nothing to do and it was already driving me nuts. There was the matter of that letter to address but that was a load I hadn’t finished sifting through last night and I really wasn’t in the mood to continue. 

I decided on a quick workout in my room and a shower. I went to make coffee but stopped at the last second and decided on a bottle of water from the fridge instead, figuring I didn’t need to give my body another reason to stay up. Was I actually hoping for a nap? Not really but I was already exhausted and anxious, I didn’t need to add onto that. While I was in the kitchen, my stomach ached and I tried to think back to the last time I ate though I wasn’t able to recall. I searched through all the food and though there was plenty to eat and I liked most of it, I just didn’t have an appetite so I decided I could wait a little longer. 

About to head back to my room, I glanced over to Wesker’s cell door and decided to let him out in case I wasn’t back out for the rest of the day. Once I unlocked and opened his door, his eyes turned to me expectantly from his bed. I was momentarily confused before remembering he said we could talk in the morning if I wanted to. Maybe he thought that’s what I was here for. I did want to, just not now, I was too exhausted. To show this without having to speak to him, I simply turned to walk away. 

“Chris.” he called after me so I stopped with a sigh and turned back to face him as he sat up in bed. “Did you not want to discuss my letter?” he asked almost hesitantly and I rubbed at my eyes in annoyance. Usually he was so good at picking up on every little thing and I was sure he got the message so why was he second guessing it? 

“Maybe later.” I started to turn but was again stopped. 

“May I have it back then?” he looked a little more stern like I wasn’t allowed to refuse. 

“Fine, whatever.” I snapped, not in the mood for his intimidation tactics. They didn’t work on a normal day and being in a bad mood meant that all it did was piss me off more. I was finally allowed to turn around and head back to my room though I heard his footsteps on the hardwood floor following me. I groaned in irritation but decided it was fine since it saved me a trip back to his cell. I unlocked my door and stepped in, looking back to make sure he stopped at the door which he did. He glanced in and looked around a bit as I grabbed the papers from my desk, walking back over to hand them to the blond. He took them and made sure all three pages were there as if I would try to keep any of them and I rolled my eyes. 

“Have you gotten any sleep?” he asked before I could shut the door and I glared at him for continuing to interact with me. Even if I had gotten sleep, I still didn’t want to interact with him right now so being in a shit mood was definitely not helping. 

“No.” I growled, hoping that would be the end of it. 

“Have you eaten?” 

“Don’t interrogate me!” I shouted before slamming my door in his face and locking it. I was glad that he didn’t try to talk to me through the door so I threw myself into bed. I just wanted to be left alone but of course that’s when he chooses to play mother hen. As if he actually cared. He probably saw it was the best way to piss me off more right now and wanted to mess with me, as per usual. And it was working. 

… … … 

I was lucky that sleep did find me, though not enough as I was still tired when I woke up. I didn’t feel as irritable though so that was good. Instead of getting up, I rolled over and closed my eyes again. It’s not like I had a reason to get up so maybe it would be fine to be lazy for now. But then panic arose in my chest when I realized I smelled smoke and something burning. I shot out of bed, taking a moment to retrieve my gun from the safe before rushing out of my room. Wesker was in the kitchen standing by the stove and I raised my gun to him. 

“Wesker!” I shouted as he turned to see me though he didn’t appear to be worried. 

“Chris.” he greeted casually before turning back to what he was doing. I could see now that he had something in a pan which was on fire and he held it up to the vent above the stove. Was he trying to cook and set the poor food on fire? Though I’d never actually seen the man cook before, it was hard to imagine that he could fail so spectacularly at anything. I stepped closer without lowering my gun. 

“What are you doing?” I asked carefully as I tried to peer up at what was in the pan but it was raised too high for me to see. 

“Burning the letter I gave to you last night.” he answered simply and I let out a tense breath as I finally let my gun drop to my side. He wasn’t trying to set the prison on fire or anything so I could handle this without it. 

“Why?” my voice was still tired and maybe I spoke too soon about no longer being grumpy, that or Wesker was bringing it on again. 

“Nothing of what I give to you will survive.” he looked at me with a smirk. “Best get used to this.” given the nature of his letters, I could see why he would want to destroy them so I tried to put it out of mind. Still I was sure he was enjoying the panic it put me in. I sighed again and tucked my weapon into the waistline of the front of my pants so it would be less accessible to Wesker just in case. 

“I have a lighter and there’s a metal trash can in your cell.” I told him. “Instead of ruining the new pans, how about you ask me if there’s another way first?” I stepped up to him, accidentally brushing shoulders with him as I reached up to snatch the pan from him. I turned on the water in the sink and put out the fire before brushing away the tiny remnants of the paper before cleaning the pan. I heard a click and figured Wesker had turned off the stove. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him lean back against the counter and fold his arms. He was watching me. “So do you want to talk about it now?” 

“I was under the impression you didn’t want to.” he was messing with me again so I rolled my eyes with an irritated huff. 

“You know I was tired and in a bad mood.” I corrected him. “I said later and it’s later.” 

“Very well. Where would you like to start?” 

“I already know about Project W, there was plenty of information about it scattered around the mansion.” I finished with the pan and grabbed a paper towel to dry it off. 

“Do you pity me?” he asked and I looked at him like he had just grown a second head. 

“No.” I stated harshly. “What happened to you when you were young doesn’t justify anything you did.” the pan was dry so I put it away and threw the paper towel in the trash. “But it did fill in some gaps.” I removed my gun from its temporary spot, wordlessly walked back to my room to put it away, returned to the kitchen to see Wesker hadn’t moved, and mimicked his stance to get comfortable. “I don’t think you’re a god.” I continued as I shook my head. “You’re an egotistical superhuman, that’s for sure, but you being a god sounds like something that came out of a comic book.” I couldn’t help but chuckle which seemed to sour Wesker’s mood slightly as he was now glaring at me. I cleared my throat and got back on topic. “I think I picked up that you decided you aren’t a god either…” I trailed off in question and with a sigh that bordered on regret, the blond nodded. “I’m glad.” I said with a subtle nod of my own. I glanced at him to see he had a brow raised and realized what I just said. “I mean, if you thought you were some kind of god, it would be more trouble for the rest of the world. Who knows what you would do?” I rushed to explain and he seemed to think about it, bringing a hand to his chin as he looked at the ground. 

“Spencer spoke of creating a new world of a more worthy race. Perhaps I could have done so myself to prove I was the worthy god.” he stated and I frowned as something in my chest ached at his admission. 

“And you said killing Spencer was your first act of free will. Even if you were the god instead of him, how would making his vision a reality be your will?” I asked softly and his inhuman eyes snapped to mine with a look as if I had solved some impossible problem he had been working on. I looked away as I scratched the back of my neck. I didn’t want him to call me out on the sadness I spoke with or the fact that it made it sound like I cared about what he did with his newfound free will so I continued talking. “Anyway, I also just wanted to say… thanks… again, I guess.” I stood straighter. “I’m sure you’re probably just bullshitting about sparing me back then but you did save Jill.” he didn’t say anything so I cleared my throat and took an awkward breath. “I’m going back to my room now.” he simply nodded and let me go. He continued to stand there as I made my way back to my room, still thinking over what I had said though I didn’t fully understand what that impossible problem of his was. 

I laid back in bed though I was far too awake now and my mind was back at it. Honestly when I read the implication that he didn’t want to kill me back in the mansion, I instantly called bullshit. But then I started thinking back on our past encounters and all the times he definitely could have killed me but didn’t, always seeming more interested in messing with me instead. Sure I tried my best not to make it easy for him but there were no doubt plenty of opportunities for him to just end me before I even realized he was there. Like on Rockford Island when I went to rescue Claire, I didn’t even know for sure that he was still alive. He appeared behind me in a room and called out to me when he could have just shot me in the back of the head and been done with it. Or even as far back as the original betrayal, he had his gun pointed at me and it was part of his mission to kill me but instead he wanted to do his little show and tell thing. At the time I wrote it off as him wanting to test the creation he was so proud of, especially after the offended glare he set on me when I laughed at him over it. But I wasn’t the only one there to test it on, he used Barry, locked Jill up, and even shot Rebecca when they all could have been put against it too. I was the last one to face him yet I was the one he chose to reveal it to, he even said he was proud of me. So that begged the question… why me? 

My head was hurting again so I decided to leave it at that for now. I got up to turn on the tv though I continued to lay in bed. I was only idly watching whatever was on, gratefully that my mind was finally slipping into a hazy zone between consciousness and sleep as I spaced out. Perhaps I was finally going critical and would be able to get some real sleep. Then there was a knock at my door. I groaned loudly but didn’t move, my hatred for Wesker suddenly intensifying. It was like he knew I was finally calming down and purposefully came to interrupt. He better hope he just has the worst timing. 

“I’ll leave these here.” Wesker’s voice called through the door before there was nothing. Guess he was giving me another letter. I tried to ignore it for now, telling myself I would read it later. I tried… and failed. Curiosity won out and I got up to retrieve them, unlocking and opening my door to find a few torn out pages at my feet. I picked them up and looked around for Wesker but didn’t see him. From my door I could see into his cell, I could see his bathroom and the dresser and part of the bed but not the desk so that’s where I assumed he was. It was still early but I didn’t think I would be back out so I went to lock him in for the night. “Chris.” I peeked in to find that he was indeed at his desk writing again. “You really should eat something.” he advised without looking at me. I sighed at his repetition. 

“What about you? I haven’t seen you eat since you’ve been here.” I retorted but he still didn’t turn. 

“I don’t require sustenance as often as you do.” he informed me and I huffed before shutting and locking his door. Despite wanting to ignore him, now that he mentioned food my stomach was hurting again. It really had been some time since I had anything to eat. I went rummaging through the food again but found that I was still lacking an appetite. Before long I was heading back to my room with a bag of chips. I swore to myself that I would eat a real meal tomorrow… at the very least, I’d make some toast and maybe some eggs. 

I sat in bed with my chips, a new water bottle, and Wesker’s letter. This one had ‘Jill’s Birthday’ written at the top and I think I knew what it was going to be about. Jill had split up with another boyfriend just shy of her birthday and she was feeling pretty down. She didn’t even want to do anything for her special day, being her best friend, I couldn’t allow that. So I got the team together to throw her a massive party at the office since our local cop bar would probably be too crowded to do it there. I had to plead with Wesker all week to allow it which was a whole process of slowly breaking him down by never letting up even when he finally yelled at me. I almost laughed at the memory because I had never seen the man look so utterly defeated by the time he finally agreed. 

~ 

There was a hurried knock on my door and I called for whoever it was to come in. Looking up from my work, I watched my pointman rush in as he looked around behind him before closing the door. I raised a brow at this but waited for the young man to approach my desk and tell me what was going on. 

“Okay don’t say no but-” 

“No.” I cut him off in irritation before turning back to the report on my desk. No doubt Chris was up to some scheme again and wanted my approval to do something reckless. The first time I had blindly granted him permission to anything, he wanted access to the roof. I figured he just wanted somewhere to smoke that was more to himself only to later discover that he, Joseph, and Forest had been dropping water balloons onto unsuspecting pedestrians. I learned better than to make assumptions about his motives behind anything after that. Whenever he approached me with a request, I had to factor in many different things before I eventually found a pattern in his shenanigans. He was at least efficient when there was work to be done so I found I could trust something he needed more during busy times. However, if we had a lull in cases and not much to do, he got bored and found annoying ways to entertain himself. This was such a time so I knew better than to play into his tomfoolery. 

“But Captain-”

“I’m sure there is some extra work I can find for you if you’re feeling bored Chris.” I interrupted his whining. “I still have plenty of work to do so I’m in no mood to listen to your whims. Now, if you would.” I gestured behind him to the door which he spared a glance at before his eyes found mine again as he shook his head. 

“No, no, I’ve still got work.” he quickly corrected me and I raised my brow. “Jill’s birthday is next week and she’s feeling pretty down about some stuff.” he explained and I sighed as I folded my arms and leaned back in my chair. He was going to talk whether I wanted to listen or not. “I want to throw a big party for her to cheer her up but the bar is too small and none of our places would be good for it.” Chris wore a sheepish look though he smiled innocently. 

“You want me to approve the use of the office for this party.” it was a statement, not a question. 

“Yes.” his smile widened. 

“No.” I told him again and took a small amount of joy in the way he deflated. 

“But it’s Jill’s birthday.” he argued weakly. 

“I have no intention of allowing you all to wreck our workspace.” my team was tactical and professional on the job but after hours, they all seemed to change. I always found it best to avoid their get togethers to avoid a headache. 

“We won’t.” the younger man tried to reassure me but I was no fool. 

“There will be alcohol, yes?” 

“Well, yeah, I mean it’s a birthday party and we’re all adults.” he scratched at his neck, seeming to know where this was going. 

“Who’s going to be responsible for supervising you lot when you’re reduced to staggering children? And don’t say you will as we’ve been down that road before.” 

“Barry.” it was a readied answer. 

“Has he agreed to that?” knowing the man my own age liked to be more involved in such occasions, I found it difficult to believe he would be any better at supervising than any of the others. Even if he likely would be more sober as he had a family to go home to, he enjoyed the ‘American pastime’ of destroying things more than I was comfortable with. There was an incident with a can of first aid spray and a lighter… we don’t speak of it. 

“I’ll talk to him.” Chris was too hesitant on that answer so I knew he was second guessing his choice as well. 

“My answer is still no.” 

“Come on, don’t be like that.” he pouted. “I’m just trying to help Jill out.” 

“No Chris, that’s final. Have your party elsewhere.” I stated with authority and the brunet visibly slouched. “Now get back to work.” I told him as I got back to it myself. 

“What if-” 

“Goodbye Redfield.” he huffed in disappointment and left my office. 

I thought that would be the end of it but I was sorely mistaken. The next day after I returned from running an errand, there was a cup of coffee sitting on my desk with a sticky note attached to it. ‘Saturday night?’ I exhaled heavily and tossed the note away. I still drank the coffee, attaching a new note that simply read ‘NO’ before leaving the empty cup on his desk as I happened to be passing. I heard him groan as I walked away, finding some amusement in that. 

Each day was something new accompanied by his persistent pleading. Whether he challenged me at the shooting range, attempted to bribe me, or simply annoyed me into giving in. He picked a rather bad moment later in the week because I had just left a meeting with Chief Irons and the repulsive man had me in a foul mood. After Chris had brought the subject up once more, I yelled at him and even threatened his job if he so much as spoke another word. He left immediately. I almost felt regretful until he dared to step into my office again about an hour later with a fresh cup of coffee and a donut. 

“Chris.” my voice was a low warning as I held my head in my hand. Why wouldn’t he just give up already? 

“I’m not here for that, promise.” he spoke quickly as he sat in the chair on the other side of my desk, placing the items he carried onto the surface. “I wanted to apologize. I should’ve been more considerate and not pushed so hard.” I stared at him with an accusing gaze as he fidgeted in his seat but said no more. I sighed and accepted the coffee though I made no move for the treat as I wasn’t inclined to sweets. 

“You’re stubborn, especially when it concerns those you care about. I already knew this about you.” I said as I sipped the hot drink. 

“Yeah, you say it’s one of my bad traits.” Chris chuckled lightly to himself as he scratched at his neck, an all too obvious nervous habit. 

“Not always.” I corrected and he looked at me in confusion. “Stubbornness can be viewed as determination and that’s one of your best qualities.” he only seemed more confused. 

“So then is pestering you about the party a… good or bad thing?” I sighed deeply again at his mention and placed my head onto the cool surface of my desk where there weren’t papers in the way. 

“Chris if I say yes to your party idea, will you leave me alone about it forever?” now I was the one pleading which really seemed to brighten his day, though I’m sure only due to my affirmative answer and not out of malice. I didn’t hear a response from him so I lifted my head to see he was nodding happily. 

“Um- I mean, yes sir, you won’t hear another peep outta me!” he smiled broadly and saluted me as he stood. 

“Dismissed.” I waved him away before rubbing at my temples. He left me, possibly to start- or more likely to finish planning with the others. 

Of course I ended up attending the party Saturday night along with the whole of STARS to be the watchful eye. Chris lured Jill in with false information about a case. When the pair walked into the darkened office, Chris flipped on the light and everyone shouted ‘happy birthday’. I remained in the corner of the room and kept to myself. Jill was shocked and happy, hugging everyone in thanks though shook my hand. After a few drinks she was bold enough to tease Chris about what he had to do to get me to agree to this. The man’s face went red and his gaze turned to me sharply before quickly returning to glare at her, his lips moving in some lecture I couldn’t make ou. It brought a playful smirk to my face at least. 

I must say that the whole night went rather smoothly, I only had to intervene on a few dangerous bets and stop Joseph from smashing his computer as he yelled ‘fuck the system’. I was tempted to force the party to an early close after that but Chris found his way to my side and gently nudged me with his arm. 

“Thank you for letting us do this. Jill seems much happier now.” he smiled in the woman’s direction who was laughing over something with Barry and Richard. I had learned over the week that my lockpick had broken it off with her boyfriend which was why she was upset. Though I hadn’t actually noticed, I was glad to see her enjoying herself. 

“Yes, I hear heartbreak can be rather stressful.” I spoke coldly, remembering William’s beginning attempts at courting an uninterested Annette. 

“You’ve never been in love?” Chris asked and I scoffed. 

“No. I don’t have time for such nonsense.” I stated which seemed to give the younger man some thought. Jill called for the marksman’s attention and he motioned to her that he would be there in a moment. 

“Well maybe you just haven’t found the right person yet.” he moved so he was standing in front of me, lifting himself just slightly to press his lips to my cheek. It was quick and reeked of booze but his face was redder than it had been a moment ago. “Maybe someday you’ll change your mind.” he turned and joined up with Jill and the others after that. I stared at him for a while after that in utter astonishment. Me? In love? I had better things to do with my time than waste it on another person. But it didn’t feel so bad with him at my side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright we're finally really getting into it now. Hope Everyone is enjoying the story so far and I have a bit of a favor to ask. So when I first thought of doing the whole Wesker letter thing at the end of each chapter/day I had tons of ideas that I either forgot to jot down or simply forgot where I did so. I'm sure I can rethink plenty of things to fill them and still have some though some I can't use until later days. So anyway, I figured if anyone had any suggestions or something they wanted to see, I'd put it in where I could and of course shout out the person it came from. It can be anything from memories of STARS, childhood, recent happenings, his opinion on things, whatever- as long as it fits in the story and aligns with how I portray Wesker. I guess this could also extend to the two's captivity... meh whatever. So hit me up if you got anything for me you'd be willing to share! Thanks and I'll see everyone in the next chapter!


	6. Day 3

First thing in the morning, I was feeling a little better than I had the previous nights. It wasn’t a significant change but it was enough that I noticed it. It was enough to give me the energy to get through a workout and a shower. I unlocked and opened Wesker’s door, it was early and he was still laying in bed so I left him there. As I promised myself, I made some toast and coffee but I still dumped the rest of the pot after I decided I only wanted the one cup. It was honestly an afterthought but I still wasn’t ready to leave him anything. 

After that, it was back to my room. Reading Wesker’s letter last night got me thinking about more of the smaller things that got buried in my memories. They were good memories- like that water balloon thing! Oh Wesker and Marini were pissed at all of us! The three of us agreed it was worth it though. We used to get into so much trouble together. I sighed as I was faced with the realization that I was the only one left alive. I wondered what the rest of my old colleagues would be like now if they had survived that awful night. Then the bad memories returned. 

I shook my head and tried to stop thinking about it- trying to think about literally anything else. I thought of Jill and I wondered how her therapy was going. It was day three of this imprisonment with Wesker, it wasn’t a point of pride anymore to tough it out on my own- I wanted to talk to my friends. So I pulled out my phone and texted Jill. 

Chris: Alright I give    
Chris: I’m bored    
Jill: Told you    
Chris: Do you like your therapist    
Jill: She’s okay    
Jill: We’ve only had the one meeting so far    
Chris: I’m sure everything will go great    
Jill: Even if it doesn’t I still have to do it    
Chris: It’s the best thing for you Jill    
Jill: Yeah I know    
Jill: It’s not my first time having to do this    
Chris: We’ve all been there    
Jill: So what are you up to right now    
Chris: Are you on cameras    
Jill: Yeah 

Instead of answering, I reached over to press the button near my bed. Once I saw the red light come on, I waved at the camera. 

Jill: No wonder you’re bored    
Chris: Yeah I know    
Chris: I need something to focus on    
Jill: You have a tv    
Chris: Nothing good to watch    
Jill: Have you even checked the streaming services on it    
Chris: Sorta    
Jill: There’s bound to be something you’ll like    
Chris: I can’t just sit still and watch tv like this    
Jill: Okay    
Jill: I wanted to wait until you found it on your own but now is fine too I guess    
Chris: What are you talking about    
Jill: I got you something    
Jill: I left it for you in your underwear drawer 

I glanced up at the camera with a suspicious look before getting up to find out what it was. I was sure it must be that joke item she had seemed so proud of. Why did I have a bad feeling about this? I pulled open the top drawer and checked under the clothes to find a long black cylinder. Confused, I picked it up and turned it over to see one side had a pinkish mouth on it. It was a god damn fleshlight! My face instantly started to burn and I dropped it before slamming the drawer shut. My glare turned to the camera so sharply it hurt my neck. I’m sure my face was bright red and I knew Jill was laughing at me. I dashed to turn off the camera and called her. She answered, still laughing. 

“That’s not funny! Why the hell did you leave that here?” she was laughing too hard to answer me. “You know I can’t get rid of it now!” now it suddenly made sense why Claire couldn’t look me in the eye when they came back which meant that she knew I had this! I’d never be able to face her again! 

“Okay- okay.” she started as she tried to calm herself down. “I don’t want you to get rid of it.” she stated when she was able to speak a full sentence. “It’s not a joke- I was expecting this funny reaction from you but I’m serious.” she took another breath to fully calm herself. “It’ll help to alleviate some of the anxiety and take your mind off things.” I already knew that sexual release helped to reduce stress but given where I was, masturbating was the farthest thing from my mind. 

“I know that…” I trailed off, suddenly remembering that Wesker was in the other room and had probably heard me yelling. The last thing I wanted him to hear was me talking to Jill about this kind of stuff. The horrifying thought entered my mind about what would happen if he found out I had this. I quickly pushed those thoughts as far away as I could, he wasn’t allowed in my room and there was no way that thing was ever going to leave my drawer again. “Did you really have to let Claire see it?” I asked with a lowered voice. 

“He looked up for a minute when you started yelling but he’s back to writing, don’t worry.” Jill informed me. 

“He’s got superhuman senses.” I reminded her and I could imagine her waving a dismissive hand as she ignored it. 

“Claire’s an adult, she understands that you’re a human that masturbates and has sex.” she told me like it was common knowledge and totally fine. My face wasn’t cooling down at all and the heat bubbled in my stomach which made me feel a little nauseous. We sometimes talked about our sex lives- or rather the lack thereof so it’s not like this came out of the blue or was forbidden territory. Though we had only ever talked about certain things, I didn’t feel like this was crossing a line. It was just unexpected and embarrassing. 

“She might  _ understand _ that but I’m her big brother, she’s not supposed to  _ know _ .” I retorted and Jill sighed on the other line. 

“Alright, I’m sorry. Next time I’ll be sure to buy you sex toys when she’s not around.” she teased and I blushed harder. 

“Don’t buy this kind of stuff for me ever again.” I growled quietly. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t. This is just a special circumstance because I knew you wouldn’t have even thought about it.” she assured me and I took a deep breath. She was right, I wouldn’t and if she had told me her plan I wouldn’t have allowed it to enter the prison. She was just looking out for me but seriously, look at where I was. 

“Do you really think I’m ever gonna be in the mood?” I questioned through a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. 

“You have access to the internet.” I hung up after she said that, still blushing fiercely. As much as I didn’t want to leave my room yet, I didn’t want to be in here with that thing or to give Jill the idea that I was actually using it. So I left my room, grabbing my coffee mug on my way but when I got to the coffee pot and remembered that I dumped the rest out, I growled to myself and left my empty cup on the counter. I pretended to look through the freezer in case Wesker was watching but really I just wanted the cold air on my heated face. My phone buzzed in my pocket so I checked it for something to do. 

Jill: Have fun 

Just as my face was beginning to cool down, the blood rushed back to my cheeks. I turned to one of the cameras and flipped it off. I’m sure she was laughing at me again but I didn’t care. I caught Wesker’s smirk from his doorway, not realizing that he had even gotten up from his desk. I wanted to glare at him like this was all his fault but he had already seen enough of my blushing face so I quickly turned away. I refused to run back to my room and hide so I sat on the couch with my head down until I felt like I was a normal temperature again. I wasn’t really mad at Jill, again she was just looking out for me. Embarrassing situations just often led to anger like responses from me because I didn’t like being embarrassed- who did? 

I could hear Wesker moving around the kitchen and then the coffee pot was running but I didn’t look up to watch him yet. I felt a little spark of joy like I had won something because he had to make a new pot of coffee. It was petty, spiteful, and stupid but it was there nonetheless. After a few minutes Wesker approached the couch, I could see his legs stop right in front of me on the other side of the coffee table. I refused to look up. My face had cooled down but I just didn’t want to deal with him. He leaned over slightly to place my coffee mug down in front of me with fresh coffee in it. He walked away without saying anything and I finally lifted my head to watch as he walked back into his cell with a generic white mug in hand. He grabbed one of the books from the dresser and sat comfortably on his bed before he opened the book to read. After taking a sip of coffee, he placed it on top of the dresser to give the book his full attention. That explains why he inched the dresser closer to the bed. 

My gaze turned up to a camera as if I would be able to see Jill and convey my guilty feeling to her. I kinda felt like an asshole for being so petty now. I slowly reached for the hot drink and raised it to my lips to take a sip, careful not to burn myself. It was just how I used to like it back in STARS… he remembered how I liked my coffee from all those years ago. My tastes had since changed and adapted to the bitterness so I didn’t like it as sweet anymore but still, he remembered. It wasn’t uncommon for all of us to bring each other coffee but it was more often that I would get coffee for him than the other way around. There were only a few times I can remember Wesker bringing anyone but himself coffee but it was usually something he picked up rather than something he made himself. There was only one time… I didn’t like to think about that day. It was a cold day in Autumn and I had to stay late to finish some work. Wesker finished his work before me but instead of leaving, he refilled both of our coffees and helped me finish faster. I recall hardly sleeping that night due to feeling giddy over the captain knowing how I liked my coffee and that he made it for me himself. It felt strange now to think something so trivial meant so much to me at the time. 

I looked back to Wesker to find that he was already looking at me from across his cell. He acknowledged the eye contact and then went back to his reading. I stared down at the sweetly delicious coffee that reminded me of office pranks and paper planes. It reminded me of a kinder, more innocent version of myself living happily in much simpler times. It reminded me of a long gone place I used to call home and a family that was now broken… a place and a family called STARS. For once, instead of the bad memories that left me feeling cold… it was warm. And I accepted that warmth, drinking down the entire cup of too sweet coffee. 

Yeah, I was definitely an asshole. 

I sat there for a long time, thinking back on my days in STARS. Of course bad memories came up but instead of trying to stop thinking about it like usual, I just tried to focus on the good ones. There were a lot. Even the ones that seemed bad at the time, like getting shot, were good in comparison to how STARS ended. Besides, we weren’t alone whenever any of us got hurt because our whole team was right there to make sure everyone was alright and also to make fun of them. We truly had been a family. I leaned my head back against the couch as I sighed again and glanced at Wesker for the millionth time. He had been there too though usually with a lecture about doing better next time but at the time we thought it was because he cared and didn’t want anyone to get hurt again. He didn’t have to be there, never had to make hospital visits or call to check in. His role didn’t have to go that deep, he had plenty of reasons that he could have given but he didn’t even need to because no one expected him to be that involved anyway. There were plenty of times the rest of us didn’t get that involved but Wesker always did. That had to mean something, right? 

I almost jumped when Wesker suddenly moved after what felt like hours of sitting still. He lowered his book with an irritated look at me but he grabbed his coffee cup as he slid off his bed. He went to the kitchen and I heard his glass cup clink in the sink before he made his way out to sit on the opposite side of the couch from me. I expected him to say something like there was a reason he was sitting with me but he just crossed one leg over the other and opened his book again. I watched him for a moment before awkwardly turning my head away. What was he doing? What was I doing? Why did he come out here? Should I leave? 

“Is there a reason you’ve been staring at me?” he asked calmly as his eyes continued to scan over the words of his book. 

“Um… no. I just, I was thinking.” I stated dumbly and I noticed him glance at me from the corner of his eye before going back to his reading. 

“About me?” I groaned in annoyance. 

“About STARS.” I corrected and he hummed in understanding. “I can’t understand why you were always constantly checking in with everyone when they got hurt.” 

“Did I?” he posed it as a question though there was a mischievous glint in his eyes as he put his book down to look directly at me. 

“Yeah.” I confirmed with a quick nod. “Like that time with the bank robbery when I was shot in the leg and needed crutches for a while. You came to visit me in the hospital and while I was on leave from work you often called to ask how I was. Me and Jill weren’t best friends yet at that point so not even she checked on me that much.” I explained and he looked down at his lap as he thought about it. 

“And does everyone else recall the same experience with me?” he asked which had me confused. 

“What do you mean?” he only smirked and once again went back to his reading. I hurried to pull my phone out of my pocket to text Jill, completely forgetting that I didn’t want to talk to her again for a while. 

Chris: What did Wesker do whenever you got hurt back in STARS    
Jill: Why what did he say    
Chris: Humor me    
Jill: Not much    
Jill: I mean he called to make sure I was okay and see when I could come back to work    
Chris: How many times did he call    
Jill: Just the once    
Chris: Did he ever visit you in the hospital    
Jill: No I was never hurt bad enough that he would need to    
Jill: If he’s saying he did he’s lying    
Chris: He didn’t say that    
Chris: I’ll explain later 

My phone buzzed in my hand but I ignored Jill’s probable questions for now. Wesker never constantly checked on Jill… I mean she didn’t often get hurt so maybe he just trusted her to be fine on her own. If that was the case, did he check on me because he didn’t trust me? I found that hard to believe in our line of work, if there wasn’t a certain level of trust the team would have fallen apart right away. Maybe it was a gender thing- no Wesker was never the type to let that be a factor in anything he did. I learned that during training when Jill was surprised he was just as rough with her as he was with everyone else. 

I wasn’t going to get any answers on my own and he was right here… might as well try. I turned my body to fully face Wesker, bringing one of my knees up onto the couch to sit more comfortably. 

“Explain.” I ordered and he smirked again. He leaned forward to place his book on the coffee table before facing me. 

“What exactly am I explaining?” he asked to signal that he was actually going to answer which surprised me. 

“Why was I the only one?” that was still an assumption. I knew he did it to me but not to Jill and that was all I had to go on. I had briefly thought of trying to contact Barry about it but he didn’t know what was going on and I couldn’t explain it. Besides, it’d been quite some time since we last talked so it would be a little awkward for that to be what I started with. I should call him later to check in though. 

“You were the most reckless.” he stated plainly with a light shrug but I gave him an unbelieving look. At least that confirmed that I was indeed the only one he gave the extra attention to. But why? 

“If you really believed I was unnecessarily reckless I wouldn’t have been the pointman. You probably would’ve even fired me.” I corrected him to let him know I saw right through his false answer. 

“That’s true.” he acknowledged without missing a beat like he wasn’t at all affected by the fact he failed at lying to me. That only told me he did it on purpose. He was planning on leading me in different directions just to get my head spinning. He was messing with me again. I thought about dropping the subject since it was clear he wasn’t going to give me a real answer… but I was too curious. 

“Joseph was getting hurt more than I was, did you mother hen him too?” 

“I did not.” 

“Then why me?” he looked at me for a long time, his red eyes moving over all of my features until I started to feel a little uncomfortable. 

“You were my favorite.” he finally said with a small smile… not a smirk or an evil grin but a smile. I felt my heart stop and tried to figure out if he was still just messing with me or if something was actually happening here. My brain wanted to laugh at the implication because of course he was just messing with me… but my heart wanted it to be something more. Wesker stood and walked around the couch, stopping behind me to lean down closer. His breath was on my neck near my ear, raising the hairs in anticipation. “You still are.” he whispered and I tried to hide the way I shivered, wondering if it was just me or if he sounded rather seductive. I felt his presence leave me as he walked into the kitchen. “You really should eat something substantial Chris.” he called over his shoulder in a more casual tone. 

I sat there for a while and thought about how odd all of this was yet again. My phone buzzed in my hand again but I still didn’t check it. Admittedly, I was still a little dazed. It wasn’t wise of me to let Wesker see how much that had gotten to me but I didn’t really have the energy to care. He was right, I needed food and more sleep. I brought myself back from spacing out to see that the blond was scrambling some eggs and I just watched as he moved. It was all a little more surreal than I originally thought it was going to be. I thought the whole thing was going to be much more tense and we would fight or something. But he was writing me letters about his past, checking up on me, now making me food… this was all… almost domestic. It was strange to say the least but compared to what I had been expecting, it was at least more comfortable this way regardless of the tension that still lingered. 

I got up and sat at the table when I watched him put the eggs onto two plates. I needed to eat and he made food so why not? He turned off the stove and put the pan aside to cool before grabbing two forks. He paused before turning to me. 

“You prefer eggs with cheese, correct?” he asked and I nodded in confirmation though I was confused about how he knew that. We hadn’t ever actually eaten together and I don’t remember bringing eggs with me to work for lunch or even mentioning it. Maybe someone else mentioned it to him, there were ways I guess. He grabbed the shredded cheese from the fridge and sprinkled some onto my plate before putting the bag back. I watched him carry both plates over to the table, setting the one with cheese in front of me and the one without in front of the empty space. He glanced back into the kitchen before his eyes returned to me. “Coffee?” I just shook my head. He walked back to the fridge, pulled out two water bottles, and finally sat down. He handed one to me which I slowly accepted and kept the other for himself, twisting off the cap and taking a drink before setting it down. This was all too weird. 

“Why me?” I found myself asking again before I thought about it and Wesker sighed. 

“I wasn’t sure of that myself at the time.” he admitted before he took a bite of his eggs. 

“But… you are now?” I asked, more hesitantly as I ignored the way my heart was thumping against my chest. I internally told myself to calm down because this wasn’t anything. 

“Eat your food Christopher.” was all he said and I groaned, knowing he wasn’t going to give me a direct answer. Nevertheless, I did eat and it was good. “I prepared the eggs to kindly get your system adjusted to eating after what I presume has been days of starvation.” he informed me as we ate. “But tomorrow you need a more solid meal if you expect to keep your strength.” I didn’t say anything to that, simply scoffed at the lecture. It was almost like he was my captain again, treating me like a kid that wasn’t taking care of themselves. “I understand this is difficult for you Chris but I’m attempting a peaceful approach to this situation. I don’t expect you to trust me but I would greatly appreciate it if you would at least try to see that I’m extending the olive branch.” I listened quietly as he spoke, still trying to understand but I didn’t get it. He saved Jill, turned himself in, demanded that I stay with him for a month, and wanted to make a truce? What was his motive? I couldn’t wrap my head around what he was doing. But he just wanted me to try and I could do that. 

“Okay.” I nodded idly and he seemed satisfied so we continued our meal in silence. 

“May I ask what you were yelling about earlier?” he asked with a smirk and I groaned internally as I felt heat rise to my cheeks again. I held my head in one hand to hide it and silently cursed Jill. Why me? 

… … … 

I washed my dishes when I was done eating and carried my water bottle with me as I made my way over to the couch. Wesker had finished before me and was sitting at the couch reading again. I thought about sitting with him and finding something on my phone to do but I wasn’t sure I was ready for the casual nature of that yet. I figured there was enough of that for the day so I was just going back to my room since it was getting late. 

“I’m gonna turn in for the night.” I told Wesker though he didn’t look up at me. “Do you have another letter for me?” that got him to turn with a smirk. 

“Are you expecting one?” I tried to ignore the playful lilt in his voice and shrugged. 

“You’ve given me one every night so far so I thought maybe that was going to be a constant.” I explained and he got up, taking his book with him as he walked into his cell. I decided to take this time to go and retrieve the one from last night since I knew he would want it back. He met me at my door and we traded. 

“Your lighter?” he held his other hand out in waiting so I went to get it out of my bag, leaving the new letter on my desk. I haven’t smoked in a very long time but I never did break the habit of always carrying a lighter with me since it always proved to be such a useful tool. I met Wesker in the kitchen where he already had the small metal trash can waiting and I handed him my trusty lighter. I watched as he set the corner of the pages on fire and dropped them into the bin before raising it up so the smoke escaped through the vent, leaving my lighter on the counter. I listened to the fire crackle for a while though it didn’t last long with only a few pieces of paper. It was relaxing while it lasted though. 

“I’m glad you had a good time by the way, at Jill’s party.” I told the blond man as he checked to make sure the fire burned itself out. 

“Despite not allowing you to bribe me, I did get something out of it.” he replied with that smirk again. I raised a brow but figured he must have been talking about the coffee or other things I brought him. But somehow I don’t think that’s what he was talking about. 

“What do you mean?” I asked as he set the bin down by the sink and stood in front of me. He raised his hands to his sides so I could see them and slowly leaned in closer to me. Though I tensed, I made myself stay still as I reminded myself he was trying to be peaceful. I told myself he wouldn’t hurt me and he didn’t. His cold lips gently touched my cheek before he stood straight again. I forced myself not to react despite the way my heart sped up and heat once again threatened to invade my face. I remembered then that I kissed his cheek that night… I had nearly forgotten about it with the help of the alcohol and embarrassment. But he remembered it almost fondly after all this time and… he implied that he enjoyed it. Let’s also cover the fact that Albert Wesker just kissed my cheek and was now staring at me with a smirk because I still haven’t done anything about it! 

“Good night Chris.” he said before I could react. I turned and watched him walk into his cell. I finally released the breath I didn’t know I held. I then took a deep breath and followed Wesker to his door, peering in to see he was laying in bed with the light off. 

“Night.” I whispered, half hoping he wouldn’t hear me as I closed and locked his door. I went to my room and leaned against the door for a while after locking myself in. Did Wesker know about my feelings back then? Was he purposefully trying to stir me up now? Was that the motive behind this whole thing? That was still a lot of effort just to mess with me. My phone buzzed again so I decided it was time to finally update Jill. Her first text had been questioning what was going on, the second asked if I was okay, and the third demanded to know what that was about. I answered her questions and explained what the kiss on the cheek was and she freaked out over it. 

Jill: I can’t believe this    
Chris: Calm down he’s just messing with me    
Jill: And you let him    
Chris: It’s not really a big deal    
Jill: He kissed you    
Chris: He kissed my cheek    
Jill: You’re defending him now too    
Chris: What no    
Chris: There’s just a big difference    
Jill: Oh my god you liked it    
Chris: Don’t be ridiculous    
Jill: You didn’t stop him    
Chris: I wasn’t sure what he was gonna do    
Jill: So you let him do it    
Chris: We just talked about how he’s trying to keep things peaceful so I was testing if he was sticking to that or not    
Jill: By letting him kiss your cheek    
Chris: I didn’t know that’s what he was gonna do    
Jill: If you did would you have stopped him    
Chris: Of course 

During this conversation I had grabbed Wesker’s letter, turned off my light, and gotten into bed. Jill didn’t answer and I felt guilty for some reason like I had lied to her. She was right afterall… I did like it. I’m ashamed about it and I hated how my heart betrayed everything I knew to be fact about what a monster he really was. I hated him and yet… I did like it. 

Chris: I don’t know 

She never responded and I wondered if she was disgusted with me. I would give her time to think about it and hopefully we could talk about it later. To take my mind off of our conversation, I turned on my phone’s flashlight and read the letter ‘Bet’. 

~ 

I heard the snickering before I even stepped through the door and sighed heavily, knowing my team was up to something. What was new? I opened the door to the S.T.A.R.S. office and instantly regretted it. Everyone, and I meant all five members of my Alpha team, were standing as if waiting for me with their arms folded, hair slicked back, and a dark pair of sunglasses on their faces. I understood they were mocking me- but I also understood there was no ill will, they were only having fun even if it was at my expense. However I didn’t know how to react to this… so I closed the door again without entering the office. I heard laughter explode on the other side and as I pushed my glasses up to rub at the bridge of my nose. Was I to reprimand them for insulting their captain? Though they were playing a joke on me, I didn’t feel insulted and it was just a good natured prank. No, I wouldn’t punish them. We’ve all worked at becoming such a close knit team and it showed in our ever impressive work, it would be wrong to discourage such cooperation. I did find some level of amusement in their actions as they looked quite ridiculously proud of themselves like they had one up on me. I couldn’t stand for that, now could I? So what to do? It was really quite clear, get back at them to level the score. I finally entered the office and smirked as I addressed the still laughing room. 

“I want to wish you all luck getting your work done today.” I told them as I stood straight and clasped my hands together behind my back. 

“We can see fine.” Joseph hooted joyously which turned my smirk just a bit more vicious. I knew one of them would claim as such. 

“In that case, how about we all make a bet?” everyone seemed shocked at my suggestion as I usually discouraged their silly bets in the office. “I bet that not one of you will remain like that for the entirety of the day.” I knew the hair wouldn’t be an issue for most of the team, really it was only Chris and Jill that didn’t usually wear theirs back as it was. However wearing even regular glasses is something that takes time to get used to, it can be an irritation until you do. 

“What do you want if we don’t?” Joseph chipped in, ever ready to take on any challenge placed before him. 

“Silence and complete obedience for the following week.” I smirked again when the unruly man nodded in agreement and looked over the others. They all looked between each other to gauge how everyone else felt about it before anyone agreed. It was Jill that initiated the group huddle, whispering about their chances and trying to decide what I was up to. I waited patiently for them to decide, watching as Chris fixed his hair to keep it back. I was surprised he had managed to tame it in the first place since it was usually a spiky mess all the time. 

“What do we get if we win?” Chris chimed in hesitantly as he looked back at me and I became curious as he seemed to have something in mind. I was possibly more intrigued by what he could want from me than I should have been but the shy way he asked piqued my interest. 

“What do you want?” I asked him and everyone else looked at him expectantly. 

“I think whoever wins should get to decide.” he shrugged and I smirked once more. I knew he was going to be determined to win this himself and my entertainment with this escalated. I would enjoy watching him try hard to keep his hair under control but ultimately fail. 

“As long as it’s within reason, I will comply.” I nodded once to show I was on board with that and everyone smiled and cheered as the bet was settled. 

The day progressed slowly much to my delight as I watched my team struggle to go through with the bet to win. Barry was out fairly quickly, taking off the sunglasses as he was cleaning the weapons. The others lectured him but he didn’t seem to care much for the bet anyway. Brad was the next to lose when he returned from the bathroom without the sunglasses, again receiving a lecture and his only defense was that he forgot them. It was still early in the day and I couldn’t resist the easy pickings when they were making it so easy. 

“My, what a strong lead you have.” I teased as I emerged from my office. “So early in and already two players down.” 

“Don’t act too cocky captain, only one of us has to make it.” Joseph replied with a sneer. He was beginning to get on my nerves. He was taking this whole dressing like me thing farther and was attempting to act like me and failing miserably. If he wasn’t using his arms he kept them folded across his chest and he kept an over exaggerated scowl on his face. It was quite irksome how he chose to portray me even if it was just a joke. 

“I have no doubt you’ll be done with this by lunch and Chris’s hair will not remain tame for much longer. I’d say the one with the highest probability of success would be Jill though she will not last the day either.” I taunted and Chris checked his hair again before readjusting the glasses on his face. 

“I coulda done it.” Barry called over his shoulder, still working with the weapons. 

“Unfortunately it’s too late for you.” I told him with a dismissive wave as I walked back into my office. I was actually glad that Barry threw the bet so easily as he always wore his hair back and as long as he remained conscious of the bet, he probably could have made it. I was glad to see that he cared more about the precision of the work he was doing over this silly bet. Joseph would tire of this and find a pretty girl he wanted to flirt with so he would lose the getup. I would have to catch him in the act as I couldn’t trust that he would be truthful about losing. With that in mind, I made a phone call. There was an attractive young officer that worked in evidence and I just so happened to need an item we recovered from a case last week. Normally I would go to retrieve it myself or send someone from the team but I needed to keep a watchful eye on them so we would just have to make an adjustment for today. 

When the young woman I requested to bring the item I needed stepped into the office, I noticed Joseph pull his red bandana from his pocket. He was about to tie it over his head when he suddenly froze. I realized both Chris and Jill were glaring him down, it was easy to sense the animosity even with the sunglasses. Is that how they picked up on my anger? As the officer left however Joseph apologized to the others and put his bandana on before chasing after the girl, leaving the glasses on his desk. I grinned in victory and it only widened when the other two turned their accusing glares to me. It wasn’t cheating when I had a valid reason for needing her and there were no such rules against it, besides I didn’t mind playing dirty to get what I wanted. 

It was beginning to get late when I began to think of ways around the bet but that was impossible when I didn’t know what the two possible winners wanted. Jill was still going strong and surprisingly Chris kept it in mind enough to make frequent bathroom trips to wet his hair in order to keep it down. I was sure whatever gel he applied this morning would have lost effect but he was being vigilant on maintaining it. I wondered again what he wanted but wasn’t pleased that I just may be finding out. There was an hour left and though I had made a few attempts of distracting the two so they would either forget or slip up, it seemed my presence only served as a reminder. So I’ve been keeping my distance after assigning them extra work, which they took rather gracefully as they understood it was meant as a distraction and they were determined not to let it serve its purpose. They both often fidgeted with the sunglasses though neither took them off… so far they were succeeding. 

“Jill!” Chris screeched and my heart pounded in excitement for just the slimmest of moments. I looked out the window connecting my office to the STARS office to see that in a moment of frustration over the extra paperwork, Jill had run a hand through her hair and messed it up. 

“I’m sorry!” she called back to him with a disappointed groan. Now only Chris remained. It should be easy enough to get him out if I stopped allowing him to run off to the bathroom to fix his hair. He looked like he wanted to object but didn’t, still continuing to play my game. Jill had gone over to him in a hurry to fix his hair for him not long after that so I knew it was trying to come undone. I ordered her back to work and a few minutes later noticed that Chris was keeping one hand over his hair. He was still working so I didn’t really have a reason to get on him over it. Twenty five minutes left. Surely he couldn’t hope to run out the clock by holding his hair down. At six minutes he moved his other hand to help in his efforts so none of it got loose which told me the moment his hands came off of his head, his messy hair would show itself. This I could challenge. 

“Shouldn’t you be working, Redfield?” I called to him as I leaned against my doorway. He scowled at me and sighed. 

“I already finished my work and wrapped up for the night since I’m just  _ so _ eager to go home tonight.” he stated, sarcasm and annoyance dripping from his voice. It was understandable for him to be so irritated with me, I did sabotage two of their players and tried to make this as difficult as I could on them. I smirked at his failing last effort though I must say he put up a very impressive fight. I wasn’t expecting him to last half the day but whatever he wanted from me must be big if he was willing to be this attentive to get it. 

“You have to finish those files I give you before you leave.” I reminded him and he checked the clock on his computer. Four minutes. He grinned almost menacingly at me and the sunglasses resting on his nose actually added to the effect. 

“I did.” my smirk fell and I walked over to his desk to pick up the papers in front of him. I quickly skimmed over them to see they were filled out correctly. 

“File them.” I ordered as I placed them down again. 

“Hey Jill.” he called to his friend though she was already at his side with a victorious smile of her own. “I’m  _ so _ tired from the long day of extra paperwork we had to do, could you please file these for me?” his tone was overdramatic and Jill didn’t play her role any better as she slowly picked up the papers and made a show of filing them away. 

“Why  _ of course _ Chris, I wouldn’t want my best friend to push himself too hard over all this  _ extra paperwork _ .” the last bit of that was directed at me harshly. My jaw tensed and I wanted to demand that Chris do it himself but everyone helped each other out here, it wasn’t uncommon for someone to take someone else’s work if they were heading that way. Even I did it if I was running an errand and one of my members had something that needed to be done there as well, I would just do it for them while I was there. It saved time, effort, and strung the team tighter together. Two minutes. 

“Nhg shit.” I grumbled to myself and refrained from gritting my teeth at realizing I lost. “Playing dirty, I see.” I commented a touch sourly. I wasn’t very competitive but this loss meant that I had to do whatever Chris wanted of me without first knowing what it was. I didn’t like him, or anyone, having that kind of power over me and I regretted ever suggesting this. I wanted to get back at them and all I managed to do was make it worse for myself. 

“Learned from the best.” my pointman smiled proudly at me and I heaved a sigh but nodded. That was fair. The time was up and everyone cheered that they had won against me. Chris used his hands to ruffle through his hair as he laughed and made it messier than it usually was. He seemed relieved to take off the sunglasses and everyone else started to throw out ideas of what to make me do. It seemed the popular vote was no work but that wouldn’t happen since my only saving grace was that I specifically said as long as it was reasonable. 

“Guys, this is Chris’s win!” Jill shouted over everyone. “He’s the one that made it through the day and we agreed that the winner got to decide.” we all turned to him as he smiled triumphantly, looking right at me and maybe it was just because I hadn’t seen them all day but his eyes appeared more vibrant than I remembered. 

“Yes, what do you want from me?” I asked, my curiosity coming back. 

“I’m coming over to your place tomorrow morning and I’ll let you know before work.” he answered, seeming proud of himself but there was something else there that I couldn’t put my finger on. I suddenly dreaded tomorrow but agreed, knowing that if it was anything too terrible I could still say no and he would have to change his request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've reached the end of another chapter. Things are really heating up now, eh? I'm a nerd, I know this. Two things real fast, I wasn't sure how I wanted to format the texts but I did this as a placeholder and ended up keeping it. It's simple, I like it, and it's how I text- all proper though lacking punctuation. So there. And yes, I'm aware that it should be Chris' and not Chris's but I just think that looks wrong so I use Chris's. This isn't an officially published work so I don't need to worry about official grammar and I can do what I think looks right to me.   
> Anyway, thank you all for reading and thank you jazzgirlsworld for being an awesome person to talk to and letting me ramble forever at you! You're great!   
> Arren, out!


	7. Day 4

Waking up was hard and even though I was still exhausted, I couldn’t seem to fall back asleep. Checking my watch had me groaning in objection. It’d only been three and a half hours since I last checked the time. So I was only out for maybe two hours. Why couldn’t I sleep? Maybe I really should see if Jill could bring me a sleeping aid because I really needed to get some rest. 

As usual I worked out and showered before coming out of my room. I unlocked Wesker’s cell though I didn’t open the door before making coffee this morning. I made sure to leave some for him this time but I didn’t go as far as to pour him a cup, he could do that himself if he wanted any. I rummaged around in the fridge for something to eat when a thought occurred. Wesker made me food yesterday because… I refused to even entertain the idea that he was worried, maybe he was simply playing a helpful role to better suit our truce. Would he do it again? I decided to test it so I didn’t get anything to eat. Instead I retrieved last night’s letter and sat on the couch to wait for Wesker to come out of his cell. 

He didn’t keep me waiting long, I was about half finished with my coffee when he opened his door and walked out. He went straight to the kitchen and got some coffee. If he knew I purposely left him some, he didn’t acknowledge it which was fine because I didn’t want him to. I just wanted to stop feeling like an asshole. Once he had his coffee, he sat with me on the couch though he didn’t have a book or anything. Was he just going to sit there and do nothing? I guess I couldn’t really say anything about that since that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. 

“What do you think of the letters thus far?” he struck up a conversation which I appreciated so I wouldn’t have to. Maybe I was starting to get a bit lonely, but- no, I wouldn’t say that I was enjoying his company. 

“They’re alright, I guess.” I shrugged. “But I think you need to work on your storytelling.” 

“What do you mean by that?” he raised a brow, seeming slightly offended. 

“The way you write, I feel like I’m reading an incident report.” I wasn’t really sure how to say what I wanted to get across. “Even things I remember, makes it seem a little empty.” 

“Hm.” he hummed in thought. “I didn’t take you for a critic.” 

“You asked.” I shrugged again before taking another drink of my coffee. “I remembered that bet ending a little differently by the way.” 

“Oh?” he raised an interested brow at me. “How do you remember it ending?” 

“With you throwing a fit.” I stated calmly and watched his expression go from inquisitive to sour in an instant. 

“I did no such thing.” he said as he put his coffee down. He was clearly upset but more embarrassed than mad and I knew why. Being the type of person he is, I’m sure he hated every second of it but really, it wasn’t that bad- he even said so himself. It wasn’t often- scratch that, it was never that I got to mess with him rather than the other way around so this was almost fun. If he didn’t have such a sick sense of humor, maybe we could have pulled some pranks together like me and the others used to. 

“You were pissed and huffing and puffing about it all day during your punishment.” I went as far as to tease him. He glared at him but his eyes didn’t glow so I’m not sure how mad he actually was. “Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad.” I almost nudged him playfully but stopped myself. He sighed and looked away from me as he crossed his arms. 

“No, it wasn’t. I was expecting far worse.” he stated and I chuckled, thinking back on some of the things Joseph had suggested to me. I shook my head at the fond memories and when I turned back to Wesker, he was staring at me. I was about to question it when he spoke. “I didn’t think you’d relax this quickly.” he stated in amusement and my smile fell as I looked at him in annoyance. 

“Don’t point it out or you’ll ruin it.” I grumbled and he held up a hand in a pacifying manner. 

“Wouldn’t want that.” he commented quietly and at first I registered it as sarcasm but it wasn’t. I waited a moment to see if he was going to try turning it around on me but he didn’t. His eyes wandered around the room a bit as if looking for a distraction and I just watched the way they moved. It was still so weird for me to see his eyes like this or for this long. For as long as I’ve known this man he’s had a pair of sunglasses glued to his face. But this is the fourth day in a row that he hasn’t been allowed his usual accessory and I got to freely see his inhuman eyes. I never was afraid of his eyes like many were- I was surprised when I first saw them, sure. It was unexpected and that’s when I learned my ex captain, a man I used to look up to, was no longer human. As monstrous as they are, I always thought they somehow suited him, probably because I viewed him as a monster after what he did to us and it was gratifying that he had some physical mark of what he became. Even so, they were almost alluring in a way when they weren’t in the skull of a pissed off beast threatening my life. “I would say something about taking a picture, however I’m sure there’s plenty of security footage.” Wesker’s voice snapped me out of my staring and- shit how long had he been looking at me? 

“Shut up.” I growled as I turned my head away. 

“I don’t mean to offend.” I heard him shift and peeked back over to see he had turned his body to fully face me. “Stare all you like, that is the reason I’m not permitted to have my sunglasses, is it not?” my eyes narrowed at him but I was looking again. 

“No.” I shot back. “You don’t need sunglasses in prison.” 

“Chris you know I didn’t need them most places I went.” he replied with a smirk. I sighed as I remembered when I found the courage to question his shades and was surprised he actually answered me. That was the day… it was the first time I saw his eyes. It shouldn’t have been a big deal but it was to me. It was actually supposed to be a part of his punishment but after he told me, I didn’t force him not to wear them. Now that I was thinking back on his human eyes… I actually missed them, I was always entranced by how beautiful they were. They were such a pale blue you would mistake them for being gray if you didn’t look close enough. They were cold as was the man they belonged to which chilled me when I first saw them but they were so expressive, a quality they still possess though I tended only to see hatred in them now. But these past days, he hasn’t looked at me with the same venom he usually did. What changed? I didn’t want to look at his inhuman eyes anymore, they were bringing up more bad memories. 

“Then why did you keep them after you changed?” I questioned as I turned away again, knowing that Wesker would notice the shift in my mood. 

“At first it was habit, mostly.” he shuffled again and I guessed he was getting back into his previous sitting position now that I wasn’t looking at him. “But humans tend to question the unusual so it was in my best interest to hide my unnatural eyes to better blend in where I didn’t want to be spotted.” 

“I thought you liked showing off your superhuman qualities?” I asked as I rolled my eyes before drinking down the rest of my coffee. 

“Yes well, as you once put it, it makes me mysterious and sexy.” he stated with a teasing tone that made me choke on my drink. I coughed and sputtered for a moment which Wesker found an excessive amount of amusement in as he chuckled at my suffering. Once I could breathe again, I turned my panicked eyes to the blond and tried to pretend my face didn’t feel just a bit warmer. 

“You heard that?” I yelped, my voice coming out strained and higher than I would ever like to hear it again. It was a stupid conversation in the office on a foggy day in Racoon City. The sun was hidden the entire day which covered the city in a mist of dreariness. Yet despite the absence of the sun, Wesker still wore his sunglasses. Jill and I were theorizing why he always had them on and our ideas could get pretty outlandish as we came up with whole backstories for our captain. They could range from a childhood accident to… something about sewer alligators and pirates, I don’t remember most of the nonsensical things we came up with when we were bored. The only reason I said that was because Jill had joked that it was easy to talk to me like I was her girlfriend so I said something about Wesker always wearing sunglasses that I thought a girl would say. Context is key! 

“Among… other things, yes.” for a split second his expression changed but I couldn’t make it out. Was it disgust like he heard the other stories or was he teasing me and heard me say other embarrassing things? I groaned and rested my head against the back of the couch. “Have you eaten?” he asked me though he was already getting up to head into the kitchen. He knew the answer so I didn’t bother telling him. 

I stared up at the ceiling and thought again about what Wesker’s possible motives were behind all of this. He’s right too, I have gotten more relaxed than I ever thought I would be around him- and it’s only been four days. I was sure I would walk into this hating every second and walk out still hating my time spent here… but… it was a little nice- just a tiny bit. Wesker not trying to kill me or anyone else, being as cooperative as was possible for him while still maintaining an aura of control, taking the time to talk with me, and showing concern for me… it was like I was dealing with my old human captain again. It was a nicer feeling than I would like to admit and I had to remind myself of all the terrible things he’s done- this was a mission, not some blast from the past social visit. We were still enemies and that wasn’t going to change just because he was playing nice. 

“You stopped the letter after accepting defeat.” I called over to him and I saw him shake his head but he didn’t turn to me. “Am I getting the punishment tonight?” that gave the blond pause and I wondered why since it was rational to think the continuation to the story would follow. Then he slowly turned his head to gaze at me with narrowed eyes but he didn’t look angry… he looked at me with a type of hunger in his eyes I didn’t understand but it stopped my heart. 

“Do you want me to punish you tonight?” his voice was low and it was definitely just me hearing the seductiveness laced in the words but it brought an intense heat to my face. I was completely speechless. I sat there and stared dumbly at him with my blushing face and stumbled for something to say back but I couldn’t even think straight. What was with that innuendo? Did he just flirt with me? Eventually after receiving no answer from me, he sighed and turned his focus back to making food. “Yes, I already have it written.” he stated, sounding too disappointed for me to just shrug off. Did Albert Wesker really just flirt with me? No way! From what I could tell he’s never been interested in physical desires like that- hell, he was even pretty dense to how I used to feel about him so there’s no way! And I was a guy- why would he flirt with a guy? Unless- no! Why me? No, no, no! He wasn’t interested and neither was I! Why was I still thinking about this? “Chris.” Wesker’s voice called loudly and I finally looked up to see he was standing in front of me on the other side of the coffee table. 

“Huh?” I questioned dumbly as I looked up at his annoyed face. How long had he been trying to get my attention? 

“Your meal is ready.” he gestured to the table where a single plate sat at the same spot I was in yesterday which I guess was now officially my spot. I nodded and kept my eyes off of him, mumbling a quick thanks. He picked up last night’s letter from the coffee table and carried it with him back to the kitchen to burn. I again listened to the fire from where I sat until it was gone. Then I slowly moved to the table to eat though I really didn’t feel like it. There was a pork chop with a side of rice on the plate, a fork and a steak knife sitting on the side. I looked around the kitchen but saw no sign of the pans he must have used. Just how long was I spaced out for him to be able to prepare this and clean up? I picked at it for a minute and though my stomach growled, I still didn’t have much of an appetite. “Eat.” the blond commanded coldly as he passed me to walk into his cell. I sighed, feeling like I failed something and he was mad at me. So I ate all the food he made for me as a silent way to make it up. 

I didn’t see him again for the rest of the day, or rather I saw him in his cell whenever I peeked in but he was ignoring me. For a while he just laid in bed but later he opted to read one of his books though I would sometimes catch a glimpse of his eyes on me. I just sat on the couch and tried to distract myself with whatever I could on my phone but it didn’t work. I wanted to go lay in bed too but even if I left my door open, I couldn’t see Wesker’s bed from there. I wasn’t sure why I felt like I needed to keep an eye on him right now but I did. Between my futile efforts to distract myself, I would stare at him, trace the way the tshirt rested against his body and how he tensed when he caught me looking. I wanted to ask for the next letter so I could finally make my retreat from the awkwardness I felt but I didn’t want to seem more eager for the pun- letter... than I already did. 

Eventually I heard him growl to himself and get up. I watched as he went to his desk, tore a few pages out of his notebook, and walked out of his cell to stand in front of me. I wordlessly held out my hand for the letter but he skipped over my hand to place it on the coffee table in front of me, making eye contact as he did it. My eyes narrowed at him in annoyance at his petty behavior though I knew I didn’t have any room to speak since I had been wasting fresh coffee just to spite him. 

“I’m closing my door.” he stated in finality before straightening. 

“Fine.” I replied with just as much callous as I stood to be nearly level with the vibrant red eyes that bore into me with anger. That was a look I was familiar with and it sent adrenaline racing through my veins. Suddenly my mind was clear and all my fatigue vanished. All I wanted to do was fight him, my heart raced, my eyes locked to his, my fists clenched tight, and my jaw tensed. I waited for him to make a move and when he finally did… he turned and walked away. Something in me sank in disappointment. He was just gonna walk away after leading me on like that? His door shut so I couldn’t see him anymore and I growled to myself as I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. Great, now there was no way in hell I was going to sleep tonight. Damn he really knew how to get under my skin. 

I locked his door before getting myself into my own room where I paced with my arms folded and my finger tapping on my arm. Now I had too much energy that was going to keep me up. So I did the only thing I could do to get rid of it, I threw myself into a rigorous workout. By the time I was done and felt drained enough that I  _ might _ be able to sleep, I was sweaty and panting. I took a quick shower, my muscles appreciating the cool water falling down my body. As my hands ran over my body with the soap, one lingered at my thigh. My heart rate picked up again and some dark part of me wanted to grab my dick and stroke it fast until I couldn’t stand anymore. I wasn’t sure where these thoughts were coming from but I shut it down and quickly got out of the shower. I dried off and threw on some sweatpants before throwing myself into bed with the light still on. I lectured myself with old military drills to straighten out my thoughts. 

After a while I felt less heated so I forced myself out of bed to go to my desk though I didn't see Wesker’s letter. I groaned, realizing that I didn’t grab it when I came in. I unlocked my door and stepped out, walking over to the coffee table to pick up the papers still sitting there. I picked them up and was about to turn back to my room when I heard water running. It took me a moment to realize that Wesker was taking a shower. I stood there for a moment and listened to the way the water hit the tile ground in steady streams. I thought about how it must be cascading down Wesker’s pale skin, following the lines of his defined muscles, and creating mesmerizing patterns. In my head he turned to see me staring and smirked with playful eyes. 

“Should I punish you now?” he whispered in my mind and the air in my lungs got knocked out of my body. I snapped out of it and I realized the thought of Wesker’s naked body had my heart beating fast yet again, my face was hot, and I was getting hard. I quickly ducked back into my room and locked the door as if I could lock those thoughts out as well but they still trailed along with me. I wasn’t noticeably erect so I didn’t have to worry about whoever might be on the cameras since Jill should be gone by now- not that I would want her to see that either. For the smallest moment my mind wandered to the fleshlight in my top drawer but I shoved it down before it could fully form. I wasn’t going to do that especially not with what was invading my mind! 

I paced for a while and went over drills again and lectured myself about what the hell was wrong with me. My imagination was too vivid and out of control and it’s just because of what he said earlier! This didn’t mean anything and it didn’t change anything! 

Finished with my inner lecture, I took a few deep breaths and sat on my bed. After a few more minutes, I looked to my desk where the letter sat abandoned. I inhaled deeply and slowly let it out, finally feeling fully in control of myself again and moved to sit at my desk. It was labeled as ‘Punishment’ though I’m almost positive he added that after I called it that since I had never once heard him refer to it like that. It was always just 'the bet' that we weren’t allowed to talk about. I wasn’t going to let him get to me with this again. 

~ 

I checked my watch for the time once more as I sat on my couch, waiting for Chris to show up at my apartment. In honesty I hadn’t slept much the previous night, I was preoccupied with thoughts of what my pointman could possibly want from me. So I was also up early to await his arrival however I was beginning to think I was expecting him a bit too early. He wasn’t really known for his punctuality and it was made worse that he never actually stated when exactly he would be here. I was already set to walk out the door right now but I had to sit and impatiently wait for the brunet to make his appearance. 

Finally there was a knock on my front door so I brought myself to my feet and strode over to let him in. Upon opening the door, I saw him standing there awkwardly wearing faded jeans and a black zip up hoodie. I stepped to the side as I gestured for him to enter my home. He walked past me and looked around silently though there wasn’t much to look at as I was a simple man that only required the basics. He hummed to himself, sounding a bit disappointed at the lack of personality in my apartment. 

“So what do you want?” I cut to the chase, eager to end this anticipation. 

“Okay, um,” he hesitated before forcing it out. “I want to pick out what you wear today.” if I wasn’t mistaken he was near blushing at the request as I stared at him, a bit taken aback. That was it? That was the important motivation that pushed him to win the bet? 

“Very well. Come.” I said as I motioned him to follow me. I led him into my room and gestured to my closet and dresser. It didn’t really matter what he chose, they were all my clothes and everything I owned was professional enough to wear to work. I’ve been called classy by many and I guess today it was serving me well. Embarrassed and hesitant, Chris slowly made his way to my dresser to go through it. He looked back to me to take note of what I was currently wearing before returning to his task. I also glanced down at myself in wonder of what he was expecting out of this. I heard Chris groan a bit to himself before he moved to my closet, a bit more confident in what he was doing. 

“Don’t you own anything more casual?” he finally questioned as he turned to face me and I only smirked back at him. So that was his plan, he wanted to take me out of my element. Unfortunately it wouldn’t work. He rolled his eyes before grabbing a pair of black cargo pants from my dresser and handing them to me. I took them from him and gazed between the pants in my hands and the ones I was wearing to realize they weren’t that different. He skipped going back to my closet and went rummaging in my dresser again. I would have to reorganize everything once he was done. I wordlessly removed my pants and folded them before placing them on my bed. I heard a loud thump on my dresser and looked up just as Chris’s face was quickly turning away from me. He remained still for a long moment before I finally questioned it. 

“Chris?” 

“Nothing!” he nearly shouted and I raised a brow at his strange behavior. “I just hit my elbow against the drawer- it’s nothing.” he spoke more calmly now and I rolled my eyes at him behind my sunglasses before putting on the pants he had handed to me. I buttoned them and slid the zipper up before beginning to undo the buttons on my shirt, knowing he would have it replaced. By the time he finally handed me a white tshirt, his face brightened, my torso was bare and I again looked at him strangely. 

“Have you caught fever?” I asked him suspiciously as I took the shirt from him and he hastefully shook his head. 

“Nope, it’s just cold this morning.” he rushed a reply before turning away again as he moved to my closet. “Speaking of which, what jackets do you own?” I directed him out of my bedroom to my coat closet though I knew he wouldn’t find anything to his liking there. I slipped the tshirt on over my head, carefully not to ruin my styled hair or disturb my sunglasses. I usually only wore these as undershirts but I knew Chris wouldn’t care for any arguments I could make. “Why don’t you have anything normal?” he complained as he finished going through my coats, all much more formal than he wanted. 

“Normal is relative.” I told him as I grabbed my boots and walked to the couch to put them on. 

“Yeah, yeah.” he waved at me dismissively as he thought. He fidgeted momentarily with the hem of his jacket before an idea seemed to strike him. He slid the jacket from his arms and stepped closer to me to hand it over. “Wear mine!” he smiled in excitement at his plan. I looked between him and his jacket with skepticism. 

“What about you?” 

“I have my ‘Made in Heaven’ jacket at the office.” he reassured me and I sighed. I wasn’t fond of the idea of wearing someone else’s clothing and I was sure I would look like a child in such apparel but I knew Chris wasn’t about to let up. I was sure it would fit me fine as Chris and I were roughly the same size so I wouldn’t have to worry about it being either too loose or too tight which was at least reassuring. It was only for a day. 

“Fine.” I stated as I took the jacket from him and slipped it on though I left it open. I expected it to be warm since Chris had been wearing it all morning thus far, I should have expected it to smell like it’s owner, and I didn’t expect it to bring me any sort of comfort… but for some inexplicable reason, it did. 

“Now we’re gonna mess up your hair.” he spoke with excitement, successful in dragging me from intrusive thoughts. 

“Excuse me?” my voice was lower, more dangerous than it was a moment ago but it only made my pointman smile wider. 

“Come on!” he didn’t wait for me before heading to the bathroom just off the living room. He sure got comfortable here quickly. My jaw tensed and I didn’t want to go with him and allow this but I already agreed to do what he wanted and this was still within reason. I walked into the bathroom and allowed Chris to wet my hair to get the gel out of it. He used my comb to style it differently, part of it hanging over my face though it wasn’t long enough to be a hindrance to my eyes. “There we go.” he whispered with a rather pleasant smile as he looked over his work, his hand lingering on the side of my head a moment longer than I felt was necessary. His face heated again as he removed his hand from me. 

“Are we done now?” I growled with my arms crossed. He looked me over and cocked his head to the side. 

“One more thing.” his hands cautiously raised to my face and once I realized he was going for my sunglasses, I leaned away. 

“No, that’s where I draw the line.” I told him and he looked confused. 

“Why? Is it bad?” he pouted and I sighed again. I knew the stories they came up with about my eyes and even ventured into my backstory but I never cared to correct any of them. They could speculate all they wanted, it didn’t bother me. 

“I just don’t want to deal with the migraines.” I told him and he looked confused again. “My eyes are sensitive to light.” 

“Oh.” he was silent for a moment as he took in the information, probably thinking over some of his theories. Perhaps he was disappointed that it was something so simple rather than the fantasy scenarios they discussed. “Is it from some kind of condition or something?” how long had all of them wanted to ask me about my eyes? I was wondering how long it would take for someone to just ask. As soon as someone did, I would have answered but apparently they assumed it was supposed to be some sort of secret so no one ever did. Until now that is. I wonder what gave him the courage. 

“No. The pigmentation in my eyes is so light that they can’t filter out the harsher rays of light.” I explained simply. “It isn’t a severe issue but I’d rather not deal with the migraines it causes. I don’t see a point in ‘toughing it out’ when wearing sunglasses is an easy solution.” 

“Oh, okay.” Chris nodded along with the reasoning, the mystery now solved. He seemed just a touch disappointed that it was something so simple as he and the others had created such complex stories behind the reason I always wore sunglasses. Often in life a person’s imaginations were better than reality. It was an issue I couldn’t relate to but it seemed it was very true for Chris. “Can… can I see them?” his shy question took me by surprise. He sure was bold today, wasn’t he? First the question about my eyes and now he wanted to see them too? Now that I thought back on it, he hadn’t ever seen my eyes- I don’t think any of STARS has. But it wasn’t a big deal, they were just eyes. I supposed the mystery the others had cultivated around them turned this into such a big reveal. 

“I suppose.” I told him as I reached up to take them off but Chris stopped me with a hand on my arm. 

“C-can I?” I raised a brow at him but nodded. His hands slowly raised and he gripped the arms of my sunglasses to slowly slide them off my face. I blinked against the bright lights in the bathroom as Chris just stared into my eyes. I noticed the way he shivered but paid it no mind, believing it to be something of anticipation. We stared at each other as I waited for him to get his fill yet the time continued to stretch on. I wasn’t one to become uncomfortable with the gazes of others yet between the clothing I wore, having my sunglasses off, and the intensity of Chris’s gaze… I was beginning to feel like the situation was no longer in my control. He looked at me like I was something mystical and it was causing an undesirable stirring in my chest that I couldn’t understand. It wasn’t a big deal so why was he acting as if he were under some sort of trance? 

“Chris.” I stated sternly as I held my hand out for my glasses. 

“Oh- right!” he finally ripped his eyes away from mine and returned my glasses to my waiting hand. “Um… we should probably go.” 

“And I’m to remain like this all day?” I asked as I placed my glasses back on and walked out of the bathroom. I grabbed my wallet, badge, and keys before opening the front door and holding it open for Chris to step out first. 

“Yes sir!” he said joyously as he watched me lock my door. We made our way to the parking lot where I expected we would part ways but instead he pointed to his Jeep. “Why don’t you just ride in with me?” I looked him over for a moment, the nervous stature he held. 

“Is this part of what you want from me?” 

“Uh, I guess?” he phrased it more as a question himself but nonetheless, I complied. It didn’t impede me at all, it just meant that he may have to stay at the office a bit late so he could also take me home. The ride was mostly silent and I tried to ignore how my hair sat against my forehead in an unfamiliar way. I hadn’t allowed my hair down like this since I was a child and that’s exactly how I felt now. I really wasn’t going to like today. Chris was right about it being cold and this jacket was too thin to offer much comfort, my own were much thicker for the colder seasons. I noticed the brunet slightly shivering and wanted to make a comment about how he should have kept his jacket and allowed me to wear one of my own but stopped myself. For some unknown reason, this was important to him in some way so I would remain silent on the matter. 

Walking through the precinct wasn’t as bad as I initially thought it was going to be. No one stared at me or commented on my attire as I was expecting so we made it to the STARS office without incident. We were still a bit early so we were the first to arrive though I knew the others would be arriving anytime now. Chris went straight for the leather jacket hung on the wall next to his desk and quickly put it on. 

“Coffee?” he asked as he headed for the door. 

“Please.” I responded as I stepped in my office to grab a paper from my desk listing things I wanted everyone to get done today and walked back out to the main office. The door opened again and I looked up half expecting to see Chris but it was too soon for him to be back. Instead I saw Jill standing before me. She seemed confused but offered me a warm smile. 

“Hi there, can I… help…” she trailed off as her expression twisted into one of shock. Had she not recognized me? Was that why no one had been staring at me as she currently was on the way here? Because they didn’t know it was me? As she kept staring, I felt like maybe this was as bad as I thought it was going to be. I felt awkward and unprofessional coming to work like this and I would deny it if anyone said my face may have heated in embarrassment. I glared at the floor, thinking that maybe Chris was more successful in taking me out of my element than I originally gave him credit for. 

“Is it really that strange?” I hissed as I looked over myself again. I glared at the woman when she nodded. My jaw tensed as I walked into my office and shut the door. I had work that needed doing outside of my office but I would be content to just remain here for the entirety of the day. I heard other voices entering the office and Jill talking excitedly about me. I moved to close the blinds in my office before anyone could try to look in at me. Why had that damn idea of a bet come to me? This is all Chris’s fault. 

“Captain!” speak of the devil and he shall appear. His voice was on the other side of my door though he didn’t knock, probably because he had his hands full. “I have your coffee.” I regretfully opened the door, standing where the others I knew were watching wouldn’t be able to see me. Chris stepped in and looked toward my desk, seeming confused when he didn’t find me there. Once he was far enough from the door that it wouldn’t hit him, I slammed it shut again which caused him to jump. “Shit!” he spun to face my harsh glare and slowly exhaled to calm himself. I heard noises of surprise from the others but ignored them. “Don’t do that.” Chris breathed again and walked over to my desk to put down the two cups of coffee he carried. If it had not been for their lids, he probably would have spilled the hot liquid on himself in his fright. 

“This was a mistake.” I growled at him as I rounded on him to my desk. I moved a hand up to fix my hair but the brunet snatched my wrist in his hand. 

“Wait!” he nearly shouted before clearing his throat almost apologetically. “You look great.” he muttered to me with a kind smile that held no ill intent or lie. I sighed and lowered my arm though he didn’t release me. 

“I look like a child.” I corrected and Chris laughed softly, almost fondly. 

“You always look great Wesker.” he looked over me again with a chuckle, his thumb rubbing lightly into my skin. “It’s not a bad look on you, just  _ really _ different from what we’re used to.” I watched the way his eyes lingered downward between us and wondered why he couldn’t face me when he didn’t seem to be untruthful to me. This didn’t seem to be some sort of a ploy- he already got what he wanted. 

“Let’s just get this over with.” I muttered as I took my hand back and marched to my office door. I swung it open and stepped out to face the others with my arms folded. I said nothing as everyone stared at me in shock- Joseph laughed and I glared at him though it didn’t stop him. 

“This is way better than what I said!” the blond man exclaimed in mirth. 

“If this becomes a distraction from everyone’s work, there will be hell to pay tomorrow.” I told them all which was effective in finally silencing Joseph. “Has everyone had their fill now?” I demanded and everyone nodded, no one daring to speak. “Dismissed.” I stated before returning to my office and closing the door since Chris had followed me out. 

“Oh my god this is such a treat! I can’t believe you got him to dress so casually!” Jill spoke to Chris as they started to get to work. 

“That was the best I could do with what he owns.” Chris’s voice grumbled, just loud enough for me to still make it out. 

“Is he wearing your jacket?” my lockpick asked and the brunet didn’t answer. Curiously I peeked out of the blinds to see what was going on and noticed his head was down and his face was red again. He really must be coming down with something. I had to keep an eye on him to make sure it didn’t get bad enough that I would have to send him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! Here's your treat! How was your spooky night? I had fun. I cross dressed as a demon lord, my four year old was a vampire, and my two year old was a ghost (made the costumes myself). We did a little trick or treating then hung out at my aunt's house for a bit with the family, pretty boring actually, but my babies aren't old enough yet to really go all out. In the coming years though, we're getting downright terrifying. Anyway, it was fun enough though I felt a bit awkward. I refused to wear heels at least since I didn't feel like breaking anything but I was wearing a dress and a long wig which was uncomfortable and my horns didn't like to stay on it.   
> Back to business. Was Chris's winning demand satisfying enough for you? What about the flirting and Chris's imagination getting the best of him? I suppose I can also play a bit of a trick with this treat. Chris won't be able to resist his curiosity about a certain item hidden in his drawer. I feel that's more of a treat to tell you it's coming so the trick will be not telling you when. Have fun with that.


	8. Day 5

As predicted, I didn’t sleep much. I found it amazing that even after all this time Wesker seemed to think I caught a cold that day. I was somewhat under the impression that he used to know about my feelings, not that I fully understood what I was feeling back then, but I guess not. I understood that back then it wasn’t common for men to be gay- I guess it would be more accurate to say gay people hid it at all costs out of fear so people didn’t suspect that’s what was going on. But I always thought Wesker knew everything and saw through everything. I guess he was more human than I gave him credit for but what was his excuse now? I mean he was obviously reliving it as he wrote and he caught me blushing, did he really still believe I was sick? I guess I wasn’t so obvious about it except for that day so maybe it was easy to write off as odd behavior caused by a cold given the circumstances. 

All through my workout and my shower, I couldn’t stop making mental notes between his behavior when he was human, when he was a monster, and now. The comparisons were beginning to blend together, too many overlaps and bias formed opinions. Human, monster, now. What did that mean? Did I consider him not to be a monster anymore- no, he’s done too many horrible things to be redeemed of that. Not by a very long shot. But maybe since I was currently seeing more of his humanish side, I was starting to see him as something else. As I made my way out of my room, I found myself being even more glad that we agreed he wasn’t a god. If he changed again and actually became a god, even if it was just in his own mind, he would be too far gone… he would be out of my reach. But… did that mean I actually thought I could save him? What was I supposed to save him from exactly? He was the bad guy. Or maybe I was right before in thinking that he was changing for the better now that he was finally free from Spencer. He was truly evil and he made Wesker into what he was… maybe I could help him change back into a human. Maybe he wanted that too and that’s why he set this up. 

“Chris?” I was snapped out of my thoughts and was suddenly faced with Wesker, standing too close to me with a strange expression. I was standing in his doorway and he seemed to want out but I was in his way. When did I open his door? How long have I been standing here? “Are you alright? Your mind has often been elsewhere as of late.” he questioned and I blinked my heavy eyes a few times before nodding as I rubbed at them. 

“Yeah… yeah, just tired.” I answered as I stepped out of his way so he could finally exit his cell. 

“Go back to sleep.” he told me as he stepped into the kitchen for a water bottle. “I’ll prepare some food and coffee when you awaken.” 

“I can’t sleep.” I shook my head and sat on the couch. 

“Perhaps you should try a little longer.” he suggested as he sat next to me, a bit closer than usual. When the thought of asking him to come with me entered my mind, I crushed it down in an instant but then it was followed with the words he spoke in my mind last night. The images came back to me now that he was near me and my face was warming up and there was nothing I could do to stop it in my exhausted state. 

“Um… yeah, maybe I will.” I jumped up and quickly went back to my room, locking the door behind me. Maybe it was better that I just stay away from him today. He was right though, I should try to sleep some more if I wanted to be more vigilant. I crawled back into bed and closed my eyes, forcing away thoughts of a certain blond man. 

About an hour passed and I still wasn’t any closer to falling asleep despite how hard it was to keep my eyes open. How could I be this tired and still not sleep? It was getting too frustrating to stay in bed like this as if sleep was taunting me and I was never able to catch it. So I got out of bed to find a distraction but I was again faced with the problem of there being nothing to do. So I left my room. Wesker was on the couch with his notebook and raised a questioning brow at my appearance. 

“Why are you finding it so difficult to sleep?” he asked as he lowered the notebook from where he had been writing in it. 

“I wonder.” I shot back and instantly regretted it though I wouldn’t admit that to him. He looked at me in annoyance but said nothing as he went back to his writing. I sighed and sat down in my spot as I rubbed my eyes again. 

“Are you hungry?” he asked without looking at me. I rested my head back and flopped my arms to my sides. 

“No.” I groaned, knowing that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. 

“Can you eat?” 

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. 

“Will you eat?” he tried again and I thought about it with a long exhale. I didn’t want to but I knew he would pester me about it later if I didn’t. I was thinking I would be able to deal with it better later than I could right now but he might try to lecture me now if I said no and that I couldn’t deal with at the moment. 

“Sure.” I gave in and he left his notebook and pen on the coffee table to get up and head for the kitchen. “You know you don’t have to keep making me food.” 

“If I didn’t, you would surely starve.” he said with a smirk back at me and I actually smiled because I caught onto the playful tone in his voice. Funny… a few days ago I’d tell you Albert Wesker didn’t have a sense of humor and now I was finding entertainment in his jokes… even when they bordered on flirtatious. Now I was wondering if he actually meant it like that or if he picked it up from how we all used to joke with each other around the office. Maybe he picked it up from other mercenaries he used to work with though I could only hope he didn’t learn it from them. 

I decided to lay down on the couch and mess around on my phone to kill time as I waited for my food, whatever it may be, to be done. 

… … … 

My eyes fluttered open to stare up at the ceiling and I was confused for a solid minute before I finally registered I was laying on the couch in the prison. I actually slept and I felt better for it. I yawned as I stretched my limbs, startling when my hand touched a person’s head. 

“Jesus!” I huffed as I shot upright, staring down at Wesker who was looking up at me in amusement. He was sitting on the floor in front of the couch with a textbook and a pen, his notebook still on the coffee table in front of him. “Fuck.” I groaned as I laid back down. Did I really fall asleep with Wesker lurking around? That was dangerous… so why didn’t I feel like I was in danger? “How long was I out?” I asked him as I checked my watch to see that it was late in the afternoon. The blond looked into the kitchen probably to check the time on the microwave before returning to what he was doing. 

“A few hours.” he told me blankly. 

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” I said that but I was already in the process of rolling onto my side to go back to sleep. I should at least go to my room… but I was comfortable. 

“I’ve been saying you need more sleep- and you do,” he stated before I could object. “so why would I then wake you as you were finally getting some rest?” I ignored him since I was cozy again. I closed my eyes and listened to his pen glide along the paper of the textbook in his lap and the crinkle of the pages as he turned them. It only then occurred to me that Wesker was still sitting with me instead of working at his desk- or anywhere else. 

“Why are you here?” I asked tiredly without moving. 

“I told you that you were not going to get the ‘why’ so don’t fret over it.” the blond responded with a sigh. 

“No, I mean why aren’t you doing… whatever that is, at your desk or something?” I corrected, still not opening my eyes though I noticed the noises of Wesker’s writing stopped. 

“Would you believe I simply enjoy your company?” he didn’t sound like he was teasing me but… what else could he be up to? I opened my eyes to give him a confused look but his red eyes were already set on me. I hadn’t been given tons of opportunities to learn the expression in Wesker’s eyes but I was learning more and more that I didn’t need to because it was all there. Longing red eyes bore into me and I couldn’t look away. I didn’t know what to make of this… so I avoided it. 

“Are you doing homework?” Wesker sighed and turned back to his textbook. 

“I suppose though I would be the teacher in that case. I’m correcting the errors and where they’ve oversimplified things.” as he continued his explanation, I leaned closer to look over his shoulder to read some of the science passages. “I’m also adjusting their experiments and incorporating ideas for improved outcomes of the expected results.” 

“I don’t understand any of that.” I commented before he turned to give me an irritated look. I should have expected this but our faces were suddenly too close so I hurried to pull back. Ripe for teasing but Wesker didn’t say anything about it so I wouldn’t either. 

“If you wish, I could try going over some of it with you.” I stared down at Wesker, surprised by the offer but I was still too drowsy to really give enough attention to this and I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. 

“Later, yeah.” I nodded shortly before resting my head back on the arm of the couch. “Too tired right now but I’ll listen.” he nodded back in understanding and turned back to what he was doing though now he was speaking his thoughts aloud and reading select passages from the textbook. I closed my eyes and listened to his calm voice, noting the gravelly tone it took when he found something he deemed as an error but the chuckle he would give to an interesting section. His scribbling on the page was rhythmic and his narrating was soothing. I felt calmer like this and though I was still a bit sleepy, I had slept enough that I didn’t feel like I was going to doze off. But I totally could have with how comfortable this was- even if that still surprised me. “Wait, wait.” I stopped him as I opened my eyes to skim over the textbook, trying to find the section he had just read. Something about the neutrons firing in the brain. “I’ve always wondered what that would do to you.” 

“What do you mean?” he questioned as he looked to where I was now pointing. 

“I mean if your brain was destroyed, well assuming you could heal from that, what would happen to your memory?” he didn’t answer as he continued rereading what he had just gone over. Maybe he was thinking about it. “Because your physical brain might be able to heal but it can’t replicate the exact electrical triggers.” I explained a bit more. 

“That’s… an excellent question.” he stated slowly and I guessed he’d never thought about that. “You aren’t making plans, are you?” he asked but there was no suspicion in his tone. I chuckled a bit and shook my head. 

“No, I don’t perform experiments on people for my own gain.” I told him though as a surprise even to myself, there wasn’t any malice behind the accusation. “I will admit I’ve wondered about it for years as an alternate way to deal with you.” he thought about that for a moment before turning more to fully smirk at me. 

“You wanted to save me?” 

“What, no- not exactly!” I exclaimed, ignoring the tiny bit of heat coming to my cheeks because yes, I was thinking of ways to stop Wesker from being what he was without killing him. And if I thought that maybe if he didn’t have the memories of everything that happened to him or what he was… maybe we could even get him to work on our side. So technically, yes, I was trying to save him… maybe I still was. But that was too immoral of a method, even for someone like Wesker so I never told anyone about these thoughts for fear of someone taking them seriously, not only with Wesker but maybe as a way of mind control. “I just thought if we couldn’t kill you, it was something to possibly think about.” he hummed knowingly but didn’t tease me further. 

“I suppose you’re right though. Depending on what area of my brain was destroyed, it could theoretically damage my memory permanently. However I doubt even I would be able to survive my brain being completely destroyed so it would have to be done in sections and with careful precision.” he explained and I sighed. “What is it?” he asked, looking more interested in the sour expression I wore. 

“It’s just so wrong.” I shook my head. “I’ve never told anyone about this because well, I didn’t want it leading to anything and-” my eyes widened and I suddenly made direct eye contact with him. “You wouldn’t do anything with this, would you?” he chuckled at my fear. 

“No Chistopher, I wouldn’t.” he reassured as he put his things on the coffee table and turned fully toward me. He placed one arm on the edge of the couch and leaned his head on his hand as he looked at me, both of us pretending not to notice that his elbow was touching my stomach. “While I’m not above mind control, I wouldn’t use such slow methods. What you are thinking of would be much too tedious and the chances of survival for an average human would be slim. I don’t have the time to waste replacing one’s memories and training them to be loyal to me.” I relaxed at his explanation, that made sense and I knew that was more like him. “I have a drug in the works that would achieve that goal much quicker.” he added and I tensed again. 

“What?” 

“P30. It’s a mind altering drug that makes the subject more susceptible to suggestion. It hasn’t reached the testing phase yet but I was going to work it until it was strong enough that the subject would not be able to refuse an order from me.” I glared at him as he talked. “I don’t believe I would ever need it, I’m perfectly capable of getting what I want from people on my own. It was simply a project to occupy myself with.” I rolled my eyes. 

“What, so you experiment with new drugs and viruses for fun?” I asked skeptically more to be sarcastic than anything. 

“Yes.” he said seriously and I looked at him incredulously. 

“Really?” 

“I can become bored as well Chris and creating new things is not only my work but also like a hobby to me.” he informed me with a smug look. “It’s a good way to make money as well.” he shrugged. “If something comes of my drabbles, I can sell it to add to my fortune.” 

“Fortune?” 

“Yes Chris,” he took on a complacent smirk. “I have the wealth to fund my own projects. I worked as a higher up in Umbrella since my teenage years and then also as the STARS captain while maintaining my position as a spy. I made good money back then and I still do. With my knowledge, skills, wealth, good looks, and alluring charisma I can have whatever I want.” I continued to stare dumbfounded at him. Everything he said was true, I just couldn’t believe he was rich since he didn’t really show it yet at the same time it made sense. We made decent money in STARS though as our captain he probably made more than the rest of us and he was also working as an Umbrella spy at the time and god knows how much that paid. But his apartment was average and lacked anything aside from the basic necessities and he owned a modest car back then. From what I could tell the only thing he owned that would have been any dent into his budget would have been his wardrobe as he had rather classy taste in clothing and I knew everything was fit to him. I didn’t doubt that’s most likely still how he lived though probably more extreme now that he didn’t have as much emphasis on human needs. 

“I thought you got funding from the companies you worked with.” I stated dumbly and he nodded. 

“I do, it’s one of the ways I’ve been able to accumulate so much for myself.” I shook my head in disbelief with a deep breath as I looked up to the ceiling. “How about yourself?” 

“I do okay.” I shrugged, suddenly feeling underachieved compared to him. 

“I’d venture that you mostly stay at the BSAA headquarters working or waiting on a mission.” Wesker started and my eyes narrowed at him in annoyance at his hit on the head of the nail. “However I would think you have a small apartment you use to get away from everything. Although I can’t imagine you spend much time there.” my gaze left him and I sighed at my own darkening thoughts. 

“Actually… I’ve been spending more time at home lately.” he cocked his head to the side slightly at my admission. “I haven’t told anyone else about this so I don’t know why I’m telling you but…” I sighed again, still staring at the ceiling. “I keep wondering if the fight is worth it. Every time we stop an outbreak or a corrupt company, another one- or a dozen come up. It’s like fighting a hydra but there’s no source to stop them all because the whole thing is built on an idea.” I rubbed my eyes. “I’m getting so tired of it all and I’m sick of losing friends. Thinking Jill was dead, well I would have given up if I actually believed it.” 

“Why don’t you retire?” Wesker asked and my gaze returned to him with a shocked expression. 

“And leave the fighting to everyone I love? Jill would never even think of quitting and my own little sister is continuing with this too. We save the world- already have a few times, I can’t just back out of that.” I told him as I watched him look me over. 

“There are plenty of other dedicated soldiers that can fight in your place.” 

“But they’re not me.” I stated with a hard tone. I didn’t actually think I was above anyone else, I trusted everyone in the BSAA to be able to do the right thing on the job to save lives. But… I just felt like I had to be the one to do it. 

“As the perceived villain in your story, I can agree with that. You make it much more entertaining for me.” he offered me a playful smirk that I returned and shook my head at him. 

“Is that why you wanted me here?” 

“Partly.” I was about to ask what that meant when he changed the subject. “I was a little surprised you were considering a scientific approach to dealing with me.” I scoffed and folded my arms again. 

“You don’t work against bioterrorists without knowing at least the basics of biology and virology.” I was about to sit up but stopped myself, not wanting to disturb the comfort drifting nicely between us so I just adjusted how I was laying. “Me and Jill actually purified a new virus on a mission not long ago. It turned out there was a whole set up by our director- well, he just stepped down. He’s a good man and had a good reason for what he did but it was still wrong and cost lives.” 

“Are you referring to BSAA Director O’Brian exposing FBC Commissioner Lansdale’s involvement in the Terragrigia Panic?” we stared at each other for a moment and now I was a bit suspicious. 

“I guess you know all about it.” I prodded cautiously and he raised one shoulder in a half hearted shrug. 

“I know the summary of what happened as I was too preoccupied with tracking Spencer to read through the full report. I was going to get back to it later. I’m aware of what occurred but I wasn’t aware you were directly involved.” 

“Report? How did you get a report?” I asked suspiciously. 

“I’m very resourceful and well connected Chris.” he reminded me with a smirk. “However the company I’m currently working with did have spies aboard to retrieve a sample of the T-Abyss virus and that’s who I have reports from.” 

“Spies? Who? There were only a few of us on board and- Jessica?” I shouted in shock and his smirk widened. “I thought she was Lansdale’s spy?” 

“She was double crossing him to work for us as well. Technically they’re still under our employ should we need them again.” 

“I can’t believe you worked with someone so unprofessional.” I grimaced, remembering how she wouldn’t stop flirting with me. 

“I’ve never met her, it wasn’t my operation to oversee.” he replied. “I’ve never seen you act like this with a woman, what happened between you two?” there was a dark edge to the way he asked. 

“Nothing she wanted.” I huffed and rolled my eyes. “She spent the whole mission coming onto me despite me showing no interest, she never took the hint. Sure she’s pretty but she’s too vain and promiscuous, I wasn’t about to become another of her conquests.” Wesker smiled, seeming pleased with this. “Anyway, who else was working with you? I know it wasn’t me or Jill and the only other people there were Parker, Raymond, and a woman -Rachael- that was killed.” before he could answer, I continued. “It’s Raymond, isn’t it?” 

“What makes you say that?” 

“You said the spies are still ‘under your employ’ which means they’re alive so that rules out Rachael. I trusted O’Brian and he seemed to trust Raymond but the only times I encountered him were under suspicious circumstances.” I replied, sure of myself. “When Parker was assigned as Jill’s new partner, I was sure to meet him and size him up. He’s a good man and I trust him.” 

“You are correct.” he nodded and I groaned. Raymond was still on the loose and no one suspected him of being a bad guy since he was working with O’Brian. 

“Shit. I need to warn everyone else.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket but Wesker grabbed my wrist with his free hand to stop me. 

“Do it later, I’m enjoying our conversation.” he still wore a satisfied smirk and I looked at him in bewilderment. ‘Do it later’ did he realize what was at stake if we continued to let him roam freely without suspicion? Jessica was already known not to be trusted and when we found her she was to be arrested but Raymond still had access to things he shouldn’t. What if he stole something? “You can’t arrest him without the evidence from my phone and I will not give that up until the end of the month.” I groaned again, knowing he was right. Still, that didn’t mean we couldn’t keep an eye on him just to be sure he didn’t try anything. 

“I’ll just text Jill.” I told him and he slowly released my wrist. I sent my best friend a quick message to let her know that Jessica and Raymond both worked for the same company Wesker was with and stole the virus. I told her to get eyes on Raymond but not to spook him since we couldn’t make a move on him until we got into Wesker’s phone. She sent back an affirmative and told me I did a good job getting that information from him so I put my phone away. That was a good point, I hadn’t even thought I was going to be getting anything from him but now I thought maybe I could get bits of information here and there. Hopefully he’d give me enough to make an arrest or two. 

“Tell me more about your last mission.” Wesker continued and I thought about it. The mission was kept under wraps due to the scandal but it wasn’t like Wesker didn’t already know about all that and he did have reports from both Jessica and Raymond. But it would still be wrong for me to disclose mission details to the enemy. 

“Let’s talk about something else.” I said as I scooted up just a bit to sit up a little, Wesker didn’t move so his elbow now pressed into my hip though not uncomfortably. 

“Very well.” the blond accepted the change though he tapped my legs as he stood up. Taking the hint, I bent my legs closer to me so he would have enough room to sit on the couch. He took his seat, sitting closer to me than he needed to and tapped his thigh. I watched him for a second, understanding that he was telling me I could put my legs across his lap but I wasn’t comfortable with that so I pretended not to notice the invitation. “I apologize that you had to deal with Miss Sherawat’s unwanted advancements.” it wasn’t entirely ‘something else’ but it wasn’t anything that would have me talking directly about the mission so I allowed it. 

“She wasn’t the first person to put moves on me that I wasn’t interested in but she definitely was the most persistent.” I only shrugged though I noticed Wesker roll his eyes with an irritated expression. “What’s wrong with you?” 

“I too know the frustrations of persistent women.” he sighed and I laughed. Not because I didn’t believe it- he was very handsome, skillful, powerful, and apparently rich so of course he would have people falling for him left and right. But it was astounding to me that someone wouldn't back off the moment he set a glare on them. 

“You? I bet you could easily put a stop to it if you wanted to.” that was right so… why didn’t he? It was obvious he wasn’t interested so why put up with it? 

“She serves a purpose so I can’t get rid of her yet.” he told me, still wearing that sour expression. 

“So you just let her hit on you?” 

“It’s still early in our partnership but I see where she’s trying to take it.” he finally looked at me before he smirked. “Come now Chris, don’t look at me like that. I won’t allow her to actually try anything with me.” he stated playfully and I blushed as I quickly turned my face away from him. I didn’t realize I was making a face but I must have been for him to start teasing me again. It was true I got a little upset hearing about this but it wasn’t like I was jealous or anything. I knew Wesker wasn’t like that and I didn’t have… what? Competition? That would imply I was pursuing Wesker myself and I wasn’t- never would be. 

“Whatever.” I grumbled before silence drifted between us. A few minutes had passed and neither of us broke the silence so I pulled out my phone to check the news for anything important I should know about. I knew no one would want to tell me anything that was happening outside because it would only rile me up and make me more anxious to get out so I had to find out for myself. 

After a while of browsing, I decided there wasn’t anything worthy of looking into so I tucked my phone back into my pocket with a sigh. I needed something to do, the anxiety of just sitting around was getting to me again but I will admit that spending a good chunk of the night talking to Wesker helped to ease that. Not that I’m saying it was preferable, just that it was a good enough distraction for a time. 

“Would you mind retrieving my letter?” the blond asked, finally disturbing the quiet and I just nodded before moving to go get it from my room. I handed it over and he went to burn it as I watched from the couch. This was becoming something of a routine and I found that I didn’t mind, having some daily recurring events was good for my stability. Once Wesker was done with that, he stepped back over to me. “It’s late, I think I’ll retire to my room now.” he stated as he gathered his things from the coffee table. I mentally corrected him about it being his prison cell but didn’t speak it aloud. 

“Okay.” I nodded but didn’t move as I watched him tear a few pages out of his notebook to leave out for me. 

“Your food is in the fridge when you’re ready for it.” he told me as he turned to walk into his cell. I watched him reorganize things at his desk before beginning to strip off his shirt. My eyes widened and my face heated as I realized he was probably going to take a shower. I had a clear view of his shower from here and now the thoughts I had about him yesterday were flooding back into my head and I couldn’t watch this! I darted into the kitchen where I couldn’t see his bathroom and distracted myself with the food he made for me earlier. I hadn’t realized it before but I was pretty hungry now. 

I tried not to listen to the shower running or pay any attention to my wandering thoughts as I ate. The food was good, as it always was. As I’ve said before, I’d never seen the man cook before now but I couldn’t imagine he would be bad at anything so I wasn’t surprised that he had talent in the kitchen too. He lived alone and always had to take care of himself his whole life so it would make sense for him to be able to cook. After my parents died and I was suddenly responsible for myself and Claire, I learned how to cook but it was mostly just basic stuff. 

The shower turned off and there was a small tug in my mind that wanted me to peek into his cell to watch him dress. I shook it away, blushing at the thought. I think I undressed him in my mind more than enough for the day. 

“Chris.” he called from his doorway and I looked up to see he was shirtless. I looked away and cleared my throat. 

“What?” I asked as casually as I could while I picked at the remainder of my food. 

“Are you going to lock me in?” I thought about it for a moment before shaking my head though I still didn’t meet his gaze. 

“You could just break the locks anyway and it’s getting annoying. You can close your door if you want.” I told him and noticed him studying me over the edges of my vision. I peeked up at him to catch him nod in understanding and go back into his cell. I slowly released a breath I didn’t realize I held. I quickly finished my food and took care of my dishes before grabbing the papers left for me on the coffee table. Wesker hadn’t closed his cell door so I peered in to see him lying on his back in bed. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to sleep or just relaxing but his eyes were closed so… my eyes raked over his exposed torso, following the paths carved in his skin by his well defined muscles. I double checked that his eyes were still closed to ensure I hadn’t been caught staring. I hadn’t, so I made my way back to my room. I was feeling tense and hot again but didn’t go over drills this time. Instead I just gave Wesker’s most recent letter ‘William’ my full attention. 

~ 

It wasn’t in my nature to be very competitive. As a scientist I worked alongside a team to reach our shared goals. Of that team, only Birkin was ranked as my equal and though we often didn’t see eye to eye, we didn’t compete so much as settle our differences with various tests to see who yielded the best results. At least I never viewed it as competition since it was a win no matter who had the better experiment. So long as it would progress our efforts even if it was not my experiment we were using to achieve it, I was satisfied. Though I’ve always been sure of myself and my actions, I cared more about the work than about my personal achievements. William however didn’t like losing even if it was for the betterment of the project, he was at times overconfident in his work and always wanted to be on top. This was yet another difference between William and I, he wanted to be the best in every way and would become jealous and spiteful if anyone were to stand above him. He became distraught when I proved him wrong in a theory or he had to admit I had the more impressive findings following a debate. Despite our differences, we respected each other and he even fondly referred to me as his friend. I never shared the sentiment but I would admit he was as close to what one would refer to as a friend than anyone else I’ve known. I trusted him and that said a great deal. 

William grated on my nerves as he courted Annette around the lab and often it would interfere with our work which always only accomplished to sour my mood. He even asked me for advice, knowing I had studied psychology since my earlier years. Seeing it as the only way to eventually get everyone’s minds back on work, I helped him. He referred to me as his ‘wingman’ and I aided him in his attempts, something she always found amusing. They both knew of each other’s feelings by this point and were merely toying with one another to see who would break first. I ended up playing both sides for my own entertainment. I only partook in this childish dance if I happened to be near one of them while working as I seemed to be the only one competent enough not to allow useless feelings to distract me. A sly word to her, a false hint to him. I pulled them together. An arrogant tone, a repulsive habit exposed. I kept them apart. I was stringing them both along, keeping them at bay from each other until the tension grew in the lab so everyone felt it. I wanted one of them to explode. Once they did, not only would it be a show of my own orchestration, but they would finally either drop the courtship or get together. Either way, silence would fall upon the lab once more and we could all return to work. I also predicted that they would trace it all back to me and know not to interrupt my work again for I was not only a genius virologist but I enjoyed psychological warfare. 

And it all went according to plan. It was William to finally burst the tension and admit his feelings and they did hook up. Over the course of a few days, they shared what I had been saying to each of them and realized things didn’t line up as they wanted them to. They tried to confront me about my disruption of their game. I simply told them that if they didn’t want their game to be ruined, maybe they shouldn’t play in the lab and disrupt everyone else because the rest of us had work to do. That shut them up. We did have to go through a period of them flirting and thinking they were so stealthy in stealing kisses around the lab. I once caught them having sex in a storeroom which deeply embarrassed both of them as I insisted on lecturing them first before leaving. They didn’t do it again. It did eventually pass the longer they were together and they were no longer new and exciting to each other. Things were finally back to business as usual. 

The two eventually married and brought a daughter into the world. William was so proud to be a new father and Annette was a glowing new mother. I had visited them at their home a few weeks after their daughter’s birth. The pair had insisted that I meet the girl and while I saw no point to it, I complied since it seemed important to them. I watched the married couple gush over the newborn as Annette lifted the bundle from her crib to gently pass her to her father. The man then turned to me and gestured for me to take the infant. 

“I would rather not.” I simply told him and the blonde woman behind him giggled slightly. 

“I think he’s intimidated by her.” she spoke conspiratorially to her husband and he laughed. 

“She’s small but she won’t break.” William reassured me and my eyes rolled behind the cover of my sunglasses. 

“That’s no worry of mine.” I corrected them. “I simply don’t wish to hold your infant child or any for that matter.” 

“Come on, you’ll love her.” he pressed so with a slow exhale, I reached out to carefully take the baby from his arms. I adjusted her into a comfortable position on my arm and looked down at her. “She’s our greatest creation.” William stated proudly and his wife beamed with agreement. My eyes studied the miniature person I held with a critical eye. Sherry was asleep so I couldn’t see her eyes though I’m told they were blue and she had small blonde hairs poking out atop her head. Her cheeks were round and her hands balled into little fists. She weighed almost nothing and I thought only of how fragile she was. An accomplishment, she was not. Anyone in the world is capable of bringing new life in this way but only select gifted people were able to do what we did. I have seen William’s creations, my own hand aided to bring new life to such strong creatures. Sherry was weak and the only attribute this child had going for her was the superior intelligence she would hopefully gain from her parents but it would be much too long before she would reach an age in which to utilize it. 

“She’s…” I paused as I searched for something appropriate to say at a time like this. “beautiful.” I finished as I handed Sherry back to her mother who took her with an annoyed look, knowing I didn’t mean it. 

“Don’t worry honey, it’s nothing personal.” the other man chimed in with a smile. “He just doesn’t like kids but the fact that he tried says something.” I nodded when the woman looked to me for confirmation and for once I was glad for William’s interpretations into my thoughts. It wasn’t exactly on point but it was good enough to keep the woman from being angry with me. I wouldn’t care if she didn’t allow her feelings to interfere with work and since I worked with her, well, it was best to keep everyone amicable. 

“I’ll be taking my leave now.” I stated as I turned to the door but was stopped. 

“Wait- already?” William called after me. 

“Yes. I said I would stop by to meet Sherry and I have.” regardless of knowing this was exactly how this would go, he still seemed disappointed. “I have work to do since the two of you have taken time off.” I explained which I knew would silence any further complaints and it did so I was able to make my escape. 

It was around this time that I began to grow more annoyed with my colleague as he was more insistent that I should find a wife and have a family as well. He persisted regardless of my continued statement of not being interested in leaving a legacy. Though it was under this persistence that I later had a one time fling with a foreign woman during my time in the US Army. Nothing ‘sparked’ as William said though he was sure it was just a result of it not being the right woman but I had lost interest in the nonsensical pursuit of ‘love’. It did mercifully pass however and William delved back into his work, often even neglecting his child. It only strengthened my belief that ‘family values’ were worthless. Of course it was never in doubt that they still loved Sherry but all that talk just to leave her on her own a great deal of the time in favor of work. 

Even after we went our separate ways, we kept in touch and continued to work together. The last time I saw him was when we were overseeing the reopening of the executive training school we had both previously attended. With the termination of two squads, we found it best to destroy the school. It was I who made the decision first to abandon Umbrella and encouraged William to do the same. We made a plan and set it in motion. That was the last I saw him. I later found out he was assassinated over his work but infected himself with it much like our former mentor. The G-virus had mutated him beyond recognition, he even attacked his own daughter as a way of reproducing the virus. The fool. I told him it wasn’t controllable and the infection rate was practically zero, it was unstable which made it useless. Sherry was alright in the end, thanks to my pointman’s younger sister Claire Redfield. I wondered how the G-virus would adapt in her body but never pursued the girl. 

I never regret the things I do as I think carefully about my plans before acting. But in this instance… I regret what I didn’t do. I should have aided William in his escape, knowing Umbrella would be coming for the G-virus as they were going down. Having to retain my cover of being dead meant I couldn’t go myself but I could have hired another agent to see him out of NEST safely. Maybe then he wouldn’t have succumbed to his work, killed his wife, attacked his daughter… maybe then he wouldn’t be dead. I should have done more for my friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done! No trick I see, what a shame. Just a warning, this is the point where I start to run out of finished chapters so I might be slowing down on updating a bit- but fret not for I am a passionate writer and nothing will stop me from seeing this through! I do at least have about half of the next chapter done... and I know what I'm doing for it... so yeah. Not in a great mood so not much to say, my deepest apologies.   
> See all you lovelies later! Arren out!


	9. Day 6

I was so exhausted yet I still couldn’t sleep though it was now the very early morning hours. I was really getting sick of this shit. I knew my environment and especially the company I had, plus all the information processing I’ve had to do was to blame. But it was really getting to me now and I needed to find a way to get some regular sleep if I was going to keep up with Wesker’s games. 

My mind drifted to the forbidden item hidden away in my underwear drawer, courtesy of Jill. I pushed it from my mind… again. It’s been coming up every now and again since she told me it was there. It wasn’t that I was against masturbating, I did it plenty, just… not here, not now, and not with something Jill bought for me and would surely tease me relentlessly about. I tried to convince myself that she wouldn’t find out but it was Jill and I was bad at lying to her, she would find out even if it wasn’t right away. But that was it, I wouldn’t have to deal with that for a while and I needed something to help me now. She was right of course, getting off would lower my stress and most likely help me sleep. And let’s face it, it was pretty much guaranteed to feel great. 

With thoughts of how it might feel, I shamefully got aroused before I was finished with my debate on whether or not I should use it. I slipped my hand into my pants under the blanket and stroked my cock to full attention. I could just use my hand but… I mean it was there and now I was more curious than anything. I kicked off my blanket and got up to retrieve the fleshlight from my dresser, taking a moment to locate the bottle of lube or lotion I knew had to be in there too. I found it in a small bag with the cleaning supplies. At least I could count on Jill to be thorough- no, I wasn’t going to think about her at a time like this. I had to double check that the camera was off even though I hadn’t turned it back on since the discovery. 

I got back into bed and pulled my pants down just past my hips to expose myself though I quickly pulled my blanket back over my body. I squeezed some lube onto my hand before coating it over my shaft. Before I gave the fleshlight a go, I wanted something to watch with it so I went for my phone. My imagination was fairly vivid especially when it came to these things but I had doubts if I could trust my own mind with how eager I was suddenly feeling. I idly stroked myself as I browsed for a video, finally settling on one that caught my attention. I was about to press ‘play’ on it when I had to stop myself. A certain superhuman asshole came to mind and I didn’t want to risk him hearing my video. I had headphones but they were at my desk and that was too far for how hard I already was so I unfortunately muted the video. 

I stuck to using my hand at first, more or less using it to slowly tease myself as the video was still in its early stages. As it progressed, I became more aware of the small wet noises my hand was making as it slid up and down my lubricated erection. It felt good and I didn’t want to stop. I’m sure Wesker wouldn’t hear, I was being quiet. The girl in the video had just finished giving the guy a blowjob and climbed on top of him to ride him, her giant breasts bouncing for the camera. For some reason, it didn’t do anything for me right now so I tried to focus on watching the guy’s dick penetrating her but the camera fixated on her boobs. I was too into jacking off to bother switching videos by this point so I just turned it off. I quickly loaded up my music app and shuffled whatever playlist I had on last before tossing my phone to the foot of my bed. I applied some more lube to the tip of my dick before grabbing the fleshlight and slowly pressing myself into it. It wasn’t warm and it didn’t quite feel as realistic as I was hoping but it fully engulfed me and I knew it would warm up after I used it for a bit. 

I closed my eyes and imagined the girl from the video with her lips wrapped around my cock in place of the fleshlight. I sped up, biting my bottom lip to stifle the low moan in my throat. Why was she suddenly blonde? Didn’t matter. It felt so good especially now that the fleshlight was warmed up, it was easier to pretend it was the inside of a woman’s mouth. Her boobs were still in the way, always a big selling point for pornos. I used my imagination to slim her curves down a bit more and even imagined she had more defined muscles. I didn’t want my partner to be smooth and frail, I wanted someone strong. 

It felt better than I originally gave it credit for. I was sweating slightly, my pace nearing brutal now and I threw my head back as a moan slipped out of me through my panting. It was fine, I had music playing so Wesker wouldn’t hear anything. I imagined grabbing the woman’s short hair, messing it up from it’s perfectly slicked back style, and held her in a more chaotic rhythm. 

“F-fuck…” I groaned as I felt the warm coil tightening in my abdomen, warning me that I was close. I didn’t care, it felt too good and I didn’t have to worry about making a mess. When I returned to my headspace it wasn’t the woman I had created whose lips were wrapped expertly around my stiff erection. It was Wesker. He was shirtless though he still wore his sunglasses and he was lying between my legs with my dick in his mouth. His hand gripped the base of my shaft and moved in time with his bobbing head. I could almost feel his tongue swirl around the head and lick up the underside along the vein. He was perfect at everything he did, even something like this. 

Wesker’s sunglasses were suddenly gone and he looked at me with glowing red eyes filled with a lust I knew I would never see in real life. Every muscle in my body suddenly tensed and I slapped my free hand over my mouth to keep in the gasps and curses that wanted to flow out of me. I came into Wesker’s mouth and true to the thought that I wouldn’t have a mess to clean up… he swallowed every last bit of my cum. My body was trembling as I rode out my orgasm, my hand still slowly moving the fleshlight as I didn’t want to stop. Wesker finally removed my penis from his mouth to smirk at me as he ever so slowly licked his lips. He moved to lean up and I knew he was going to kiss me and I wanted it so bad. I sat up as if to meet him halfway before I finally remembered that it wasn’t real- Wesker wasn’t here. I panted alone in my darkened room before looking down at the fleshlight still hugging onto my now flaccid member. I shivered as I pulled it off, having worked myself into overstimulation. I stared at it in my hand and wondered for a brief moment if that orgasm was supposed to be that intense because of it. I could tell myself that but I knew it wasn’t all due to the fleshlight. Like I said, I had a vivid imagination. 

… … … 

Well it worked. I got some sleep- slept in even. But I didn’t feel any better stress wise- in fact I felt worse. I was so worn out after that great orgasm that I didn’t have the energy to even begin to stress over what exactly got me to finish. I had been perfectly okay with it at the time too- more than okay, I was even more turned on by his appearance! What the hell was wrong with me? Did I really cum to the thought of Wesker sucking me off? I felt like shit mentally but at least physically I was well rested. I tried not to think about it too much, trying to shrug it off as an overactive imagination filling Wesker in because I was thinking about him- only because I was trying to make sure he wasn’t going to hear me! 

I took a shower after cleaning the fleshlight since I fell asleep pretty quickly after cumming earlier. Then I made my way out of my room, spotting Wesker at the table with two plates of food. I almost blushed when he looked at me but cleared my throat and tried to act normal as I sat across from him, accepting the classic breakfast he prepared for me though it was past lunch by this time. He was already halfway through eating and I was counting myself lucky. Wesker didn’t need to eat or sleep as much as a regular human but every few days he required rest and nourishment. I’m sure he didn’t have to but I’ve noticed that he likes to get all those human things out of the way at once. So if he was eating now, that must mean he was sleeping last night. I smirked to myself, feeling more confident in my belief that he was completely unaware of what I was doing. 

Then he yawned and I felt as if all the blood had drained from my body. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought about how odd it was to see him yawn, I’d only seen him act tired a handful of times back in STARS and that was when he was actually human. But no, this meant something far worse. It meant he didn’t sleep last night but he was supposed to… like he was prevented. I cleared my throat again, still trying to pretend like everything was normal though I couldn’t look at him so I stared at my food as I picked at it. 

“Tired?” I asked, hoping it sounded casual enough. 

“Quite.” was all he replied with. What was that supposed to tell me? Did he hear what I was doing or not? Oh fuck- did I say his name? No, no I definitely would have remembered doing that. “Your music was too loud and kept me up.” he finally spoke again and my eyes slowly found his to see he was very slightly glaring at me. “Honestly Chris, must you have it running so late?” I subtly released a breath I didn’t know I had held. He didn’t know. He only heard the music. Thank god. 

“I’ll keep it down.” I told him and with a curt nod, we both went back to our food. 

“What kept you up so late?” he questioned after a bite and I shrugged. 

“I’m just still adjusting to sleeping here, it’s not a big deal.” I told him and he stopped eating. 

“Is there anything I can do to alleviate some of the stress I cause you?” I looked up at him curiously but he seemed serious enough so I thought about it. Yes being so close to him so much was frying my nerves and it was hard at first not to pick a fight every time I saw him. But I was getting more used to seeing him and interacting with him was getting easier. His presence was becoming less and less threatening to my instincts every day- hell I even fell asleep around him yesterday though I still blame that mostly on exhaustion. Not locking him in his cell last night didn’t do anything to make me feel any less safe, I always knew the locks wouldn’t stop him. It was also nice not having to worry about locking him in and letting him out every day. He was even going out of his way to cook for me when I wasn’t doing it myself. He was trying and it showed, that was enough for now for me to try as well. 

“No.” I shook my head and continued eating. “You’re already doing enough.” I noticed his lips twitch up for a moment in pride but didn’t say anything about it as he returned to eating too. “Sometimes the letters get to me a bit but it’s not really in a bad way.” I explained and he raised an eyebrow. “Like the last one, it…” I sighed. “I guess I never really thought you had lost anything in Racoon City because you were a part of what happened. I’m still coming to terms with you experiencing loss too.” Wesker nodded along with my words thoughtfully. 

“Racoon City was never much of a home to me. I’ve moved around enough and never understood the sentiment but I did lose everything during that incident as well. I want to be clear that it was never my- or Umbrella’s intent to have the city perish as it did, that happened at the hands of Dr. Marcus and his companion. Umbrella simply cleaned up the mess.” he explained and it was my turn to nod. 

“I know.” I told him. “Rebecca was there at the training facility and told us everything.” I sighed and stopped eating again. “Tell me,” I hesitated but pushed out the question. “I get that STARS was constructed and funded by Umbrella to be like their private army or something and I’m sure we helped to clean up their underdealings without knowing it. I’ve come to terms with that but exactly how involved were you in setting us up? From what I’ve read, it didn’t really seem like  _ your _ plan.” 

“I wanted to involve STARS much earlier when the virus was leaked to prevent any further issue but the higher ups disagreed. I was ordered to keep STARS out of the investigation because they wanted a chance to handle the situation without the risk of exposure.” I remembered that. When the reports of strange cult like killings had become known in the surrounding forest, it felt like something STARS should handle. But Wesker kept saying it was another department’s case though he never seemed to like saying it and his mood would sour every time it was brought up. I used to think it was because he was upset about the killings but I knew better now. He didn’t like being held back by his orders, it was probably a relief when he finally got the green light. “Of course the rest of the police force couldn’t handle the workload that was ever increasing and the public became restless. It was only after the situation was being covered by the news that Umbrella realized they could no longer contain it themselves and I was ordered to send in STARS.” he stopped to take another bite and drink from his water bottle. Realizing I was still neglecting my food too, I started eating again. 

“Whose idea was it to kill us?” I asked, my voice surprisingly not holding any hostility in it. I’d accepted what had happened a long time ago though forgiveness wasn’t anywhere in sight. 

“Spencer’s.” he stated simply. “Quarantine failed and the mansion was overrun with infected, leaving no option but the eradication of everything there. However they simply couldn’t destroy it from the outside since there was so much of value still inside. So I was to retrieve virus samples, embryos, and opportunistic combat data. However as witnesses to the darkness Umbrella hid, all STARS were to be eliminated. Then I was to destroy the mansion and return to Umbrella with the spoils. I probably would have gone back to being a researcher for them but that alone no longer suited my desires.” 

“So you double crossed them.” 

“Of course. I saw they were going down and jumped ship so as not to be taken with them. My plans only varied in who I was giving the samples and data to.” he explained. 

“How’d that work out for you?” I smirked a bit viciously and he gave me a warning look. 

“Yes, because of my death, Sergei was allowed the time to lock me out of the mainframe.” he stated sourly. “And if it wasn’t for you showing up when you did, I would have had time to complete the download and had what I needed for the new company. Of the two that ruined my plans, at least I got to kill Sergei.” his eyes glowed with that familiar hatred for me again and my body tensed and hot adrenaline flowed through my veins. I was itching all over now, waiting for him to make a move. But he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and drank some more water. “But that’s in the past now.” he seemed to tell himself rather than me. I was feeling disappointed again that we weren’t fighting even though I antagonized him. My leg bounced with the unused energy I now had and I scarfed down the rest of my food. To move around some more to try to dispel some of it, I went to wash my dishes and grab a water bottle. 

“So why not let STARS live since it wouldn’t matter to you if we ratted Umbrella out or not?” I called from the kitchen as the blond was taking his last few bites. 

“You were still witnesses to my involvement and that information would have been best buried.” he said as he joined me in the kitchen. I leaned against the counter and watched him wash his plate, the muscles in his arms rippling with movement. When I noticed the arm closer to me lifted slightly and flexed, my eyes snapped to his to see him smirking at me. I scoffed at his showing off and turned my head away but didn’t say anything about it. 

“Did you actually have people ready to hurt Barry’s family?” I suddenly asked to change the topic. 

“No, the threat was enough.” he stated and I nodded, feeling at least a little relieved that Kathy and the girls were never in real danger then. Though I doubted Barry would feel the same since like Wesker said, the threat was enough. “Why did you do that?” the blond asked as he gestured to my whole body and I looked down at myself in confusion. There was nothing on my clothes and nothing out of place. “Your body was exceptional before, there was no reason to gain so much mass.” I blushed at his wording and cleared my throat as I folded my arms defensively. 

“Yeah there was.” I muttered more to myself but it seemed to catch his interest since he turned to face me, waiting for me to continue. This wasn’t something I wanted to admit to him but we had an unspoken agreement of a quid pro quo that so far neither of us had broken as long as the topic wasn’t confidential information. So I regrettably told him the honest truth of pushing myself to become as strong as I could. “After I found out you were superhuman, I wanted to be able to fight you on even grounds, or at least give myself the best chance of actually hurting you as I could.” he smirked at that and I groaned at the venomous pride that it carried. 

“You did that all for me?” he teased and I rolled my eyes, my arms tightening around myself. 

“Not… it was…” I fumbled for the right thing to say because, yes he was technically right but I didn’t like how he said that and the implications the words carried. “It was  _ because _ of you- not  _ for _ you.” ignoring my argument, he stepped closer to me and I pressed myself farther into the counter behind me. 

“Same thing.” he said with a lowered voice, his red eyes flicking down to my lips for the slightest of moments before returning to the blue of my eyes. My face was already hot but it got even hotter after that. His arms moved to either of my sides to rest on the counter, effectively pinning me in and though he was only three inches taller than me, I felt much smaller right now. My hands instinctively gripped onto his wrists like I was going to remove them but I didn’t. The action left me open and exposed as he leaned in closer to me. “Chirs.” he whispered, so close now I could feel his warm breath that carried my name on my face. 

My mind was clouded and my thoughts swam too fast for me to hold onto any of them. But there was one thing I could still think of and recall so vividly… the Wesker that swallowed my seed before reaching to kiss me. I relived the near desperation for the very long awaited kiss I felt then and wanted it just as badly now. But I knew this was real, not the imaginary Wesker I made up. The man in front of me was still a monster, no matter how nice he was pretending to be and I didn’t want to play along with his game. I didn’t want to be some piece for him to manipulate for whatever scheme he had in motion. I wanted something real and that was something he would never be able to give me. 

“Stop.” my voice was small and pathetic but I managed the simple command. His eyes searched mine and I don’t know if he saw how much I wanted him to kiss me or the pleading expression but he finally leaned back. He let go of the counter and I hadn’t realized how tightly I’d been holding onto his wrists until I had to force myself to let them go to see they had turned slightly red under my grip. If he wasn’t already aware of my conflicted feelings, he certainly had to be now. 

I wordlessly moved away from him to get some space between us. I wanted to go into my room but I didn’t, it felt too much like running away. So I did what I always do in this situation, I distracted myself. I dropped to the floor to start my workout with some pushups. I heard a long sigh before Wesker was next to me, joining in my exercise. He kept at pace with me though I knew for fact he could easily outpace me without breaking a sweat. It was a kind gesture and I took it as a form of an apology as well as him even joining me in the first place. And like that, we were fine again. 

After I was finally ready to call it, Wesker stopped as well. We went our separate ways to take showers and I was pleased to have a blank mind. When I left my room however, I was met with the full view of Wesker’s naked body still in the shower. He was as brilliant in all his glory as I imagined and knew he would be. I didn’t stare or allow him the satisfaction of noticing that I had seen him. I just shut my door and took a few breaths to ease my mind before it could start anything. I finally heard the water shut off and waited an extra few minutes for him to get dried off and dressed. I was suddenly feeling a little envious of Jill and whoever else was on cameras when he showered, getting to watch him without worry of being caught. I’m sure it was just a job to them though, it didn’t mean anything and it wasn’t interesting though anyone could admit to his good looks. But it stirred me up because of these unwanted emotions I unfortunately still had for the man. 

We burned last night’s letter and he handed over the new one which I left on my desk before we found ourselves back on the couch together in silence. It was getting late but I wasn’t tired since I slept in so late. Maybe I’d just go back to my room anyway and watch some tv or something. But I was getting used to being out here more, hiding away in my room seemed more lonely than it had the first few days here. I wasn’t a very social creature, I lived for the work, but I was constantly surrounded by people and cherished my time alone. But I wasn’t used to being alone this much and with the stress of the situation I never really got to enjoy the solitude, it was unwanted anyway so it only put me on edge. Wesker was my only company and I heard it wasn’t uncommon for people to seek out another person even if the attention they got was negative. Maybe I counted myself a little lucky that Wesker wasn’t being negative or hostile at all, he was well behaved, and… I’ve said before that it was almost nice to be around him right now. Maybe I could bring the tv out here so long as I stayed away from the news or anything he could learn from. Me and my biggest enemy chilling on the couch watching movies together… even back in STARS I never imagined that would happen. 

His advances on me still bothered me relentlessly and I wanted to question what the hell he thought he was doing… but I was afraid of the answer. So I wouldn’t ask. After a while the blond realized conversation wasn’t going to happen so he got up to retrieve his notebook before returning to sit with me again instead of writing at his desk. ‘ _ Would you believe I simply enjoy your company? _ ’ That’s what he said yesterday… did he feel the weight of isolation too? Is that why he sat out here with me instead of staying in his cell? 

“How much time do you spend around other people?” I asked him and he gave me a sideways glance full of irritation and a look that said ‘so now that I’m working you want to talk’. I just shrugged and he sighed though he didn’t put his notebook down. 

“Enough.” he answered shortly and it was my turn to sigh. I wasn’t sure if he would actually answer me if I pressed for more and it wasn’t important enough for me to try. He seemed intent on his writing, maybe tomorrow’s letter wasn’t done yet. I’d leave him alone. I pulled out my phone to check the news and thought about downloading a stupid game or something but I couldn’t find one that seemed interesting enough to go through the effort. 

I finally caved and went to grab one of the puzzle toys the girls got me. It was two curved bolts with a nut screwed onto all four ends. The trick was to get them apart. I fidgeted with it for a while, turned it this way and that, tried to pry them apart until I worried I might break them. For a minute I thought I might have had one of them but when it wouldn’t come loose, I started to get frustrated. It wasn’t until I scoffed at the thing and lowered it that I noticed red eyes observing my movements with interest and amusement. I sighed in annoyance and wordlessly handed it over to Wesker, knowing he would somehow be able to get the two bolts apart quickly. He put his notebook down on his lap and rested the pen in its spine before taking the toy from me. His slender fingers twisted at two of the screws, seeming to line them up, and then easily slid the nuts past each other. He held the two separated bolts out for me but I didn’t take them back. 

“How?” I demanded as I gawked at him though I had expected it. 

“When I was young my caretakers used to give me such toys to test my problem solving skills and to train my mind.” he answered, still holding it out for me like I was just delayed in taking them but I didn’t have any intention of that. 

“I’m good at problem solving.” I defended myself and he smirked with a nod. 

“With tactical situations, yes. But you can also be impatient and hotheaded which causes you to miss small details like this.” he finally caught on that I wasn’t planning on taking the bolts from him so he quickly put them back together before trying to return them to me again. I had nothing to say to that since it was true… though I didn’t like that he knew that much about me. I knew just as much about him though so I guess that made us even. 

“Show me.” I demanded as I scooted closer so I could watch him work his magic. His smile remained as he also scooted a bit closer to me and again we both pretended not to notice that we were now touching. It was too much for me when Wesker decided to make a direct move but these small moments were almost comfortable. 

“These two have a hidden smooth edge to allow them to slide by each other.” he pointed out the two nuts that had one smoother edge than the others. He was right, it was one of those small details I didn’t catch because I honestly didn’t really care enough about doing it to really try. “Simply align the flat edges to get them apart.” he slid them away from each other and held them in different hands to display it. “You use the same method to put them back together as well.” he stuck them together again and this time when he passed it back to me, I did take it. I mimicked his actions and got the bolts separated just like that. It was such a simple solution, now I felt stupid. 

“I’ll get the next one on my own.” I stated confidently as I went back to my room to switch the puzzle for another before returning to Wesker, sitting just as close as when I left. The blond had placed his notebook on the coffee table now and was waiting for me. This one was a wooden sphere the size of my palm that had multiple pieces constructing it. It’s supposed to be difficult to take apart but even harder to put back together. 

I wasn’t sure how long we were playing with the puzzles but we were working on the fourth now. Wesker patiently watched as I tried to figure them out and only offered hints here and there. I didn’t allow myself to get frustrated with them and actually listened when he reminded me not to overthink it as more often than not these tended to have simple solutions. I did just fine on my own but I did appreciate the subtle clues he would give me when he noticed I was stuck. After we finished it, he yawned again and I blushed as the same thoughts from this morning came back to me. Which then spiraled into thoughts of why it was something to be embarrassed about which led to remembering just how good my secret activity felt and what pushed me over. 

“Go to bed.” I told him as I stood up, taking the puzzle with me. “I’ll keep my music down this time.” saying that implied I would be doing something that required my music be on in the first place… did I intend to masturbate again tonight? I wasn’t really planning on it, especially with where my thoughts had taken me last time… but now that I was thinking about it, I felt a tension inside me that craved it. 

“Alright.” he said with a wicked smirk that he noticeably tried to hide but didn’t quite manage before I saw it. I grew suspicious but didn’t know what to make of it enough to gather any ideas about what it meant. I guess I had gotten used to ‘not overthinking it’ enough over the last while to apply it to this as well. “Goodnight Chris.” he nodded to me in parting and then went into his cell to go lay down. I didn’t linger to watch him as I usually tended to as I was suddenly feeling pent up and just wanted to get to my room. 

I locked my door, put the puzzle back, and went for my headphones in my bag but stopped. Even just thinking about turning on a porno wasn’t doing anything to excite me. I know I should still be disgusted with myself but after what I realized earlier when Wesker made a move on me… I was still ashamed to have these feelings for him but I couldn’t pretend anymore like they didn’t exist. I would never allow myself to be his plaything because… I don’t know, maybe he’s bored. I still was shocked to discover that he swung that way since he didn’t really seem the type but I ignored how that gave me butterflies and I crushed the twinge of hope that rang through me. I wasn’t content with being ‘fun’ for him, I wanted something real and acknowledged that would never happen. So… if I couldn’t have it in real life… maybe it was fine for me to have it in my imagination. There wasn’t really any harm in allowing myself that, was there? 

~

The bagpipes solemnly played for the fallen officer as the ones closest to him carried his casket to the hole where he would be buried. An officer I didn’t know from the patrol department had been killed in action. STARS was only here for protocol to pay respects to our fallen comrade. I didn’t care for the event, people expected far too much from these things. It was unacceptable to not care about death and I couldn’t bring myself to even bother with faking it. I didn’t know the man, I didn’t know his family, and if anyone hated me over this it wouldn’t hinder my work at all so I saw no reason to waste the effort. My reputation as a cold and serious man should at least serve me well here. I watched the proceeding in silence, wanting to be back at the office or at home. At least we weren’t expected to attend the after service so I could leave after this. 

I stared off at nothing in particular, lost in my own thoughts as the pastor rambled off last rites and people took turns giving speeches about the man. I didn’t care to listen to any of it, opting to preoccupy my mind with planning out how I would bring my team out of the slump that was sure to follow this unfortunate event. Perhaps we could take the helicopter out to the mountains for some search and rescue training. It had been a while since we had done that though we haven’t had any related cases, it was important to keep in practice. My team always loved taking the helicopter anywhere, always acting like children on Christmas morning over it. Not to mention the hiking, rappelling, and other exercises that were involved with this training, it was all like playtime for them. Yes, I believe that would do well to lift their spirits and if there was any lingering negativity I could always bring in donuts since that always got a desirable reaction. I should prepare for that just in case and bring donuts along during the training for everyone to enjoy during a break. They’ll of course know I’m spoiling them but no one would call me out on it because they’ll appreciate it enough to avoid risking it not happening again. 

Then I noticed Chris lift his hand to wipe at his eye quickly before returning to his attentive stance. That’s odd. Chris wasn’t one to get over emotional in the face of the public, he believed the military and law enforcement were pillars of sorts for everyone else to rely on so he wouldn’t have any weakness on display here. So why was he crying where so many could see? He was a man of action who didn’t do well in idle for long because he was impatient at times. But he was a strong soldier that was able to keep his emotions in check when he needed to, especially for the sake of someone else. I’m sure he was upset over this death but it wasn’t as if this was the first funeral of a fellow officer he had attended. That led to the conclusion that this must be personal. He never moved to make a speech and he never approached the widow to give his personal condolences so I could reasonably assume he hadn’t been very close to the man. But he had at least been friends with him for his emotions to get away from him like this. To him, this wasn’t just another lost comrade but the loss of a friend. 

I watched him for the remaining duration of the funeral but his face remained hardened and he stared only at the casket. As the service was being brought to a close and the civilians began to leave, Chris finally stepped forward to place a careful hand on the coffin. 

“Goodbye.” I heard his soft whisper. His lip trembled slightly but he bit down on it to keep it still as he offered a salute and walked away. I paid my respects quickly so I could catch up to Chris’s retreating form. I was sure he was going to attend the after service which I had no intention of doing so I had to do this now. I checked to be sure no one was around his vehicle as I approached him just as he opened the driver side door. 

“Chris.” I called to stop him from getting in and he turned to me with a tired irritation in his eyes like he was really hoping to get away without anyone interacting with him. His eyes were already reddening but he steeled himself for our conversation, his stance losing its slight slouch and his jaw setting to keep from showing any minor tremble. 

“Yes captain?” his voice was tense and dry. I could tell he wanted me to leave him alone and I didn’t fully understand why I had sought him out in the first place. I shouldn’t want to comfort him, no one would fault me if I didn’t. But I couldn’t deny this strange sentimental urge or the odd sense of pain I felt at witnessing his state so the best way to rid myself of it was to act on it. The sooner I did it, the sooner it would dissipate. 

“I’m sorry for your loss.” I told him simply but his eyes widened and he looked around as if to check that we were alone. 

“No one’s said that to me.” he stated numbly with a humorless chuckle as he rubbed at his neck, his eyes downcast. It seemed not many knew he had been friends with the fallen officer so no one had bothered to treat him as if he had lost as well. Of course when an officer died it was felt by all but there was a difference when it was a friend as well. “Of course you would pick up on it.” he muttered more to himself. I continued to watch him as he cleared his throat. “Thanks but I’m fine. His family is suffering more than I am.” 

“Perhaps.” I nodded, not turning away from him. “But I’m sure they have plenty of others to help them through this trial. Who do you have?” I noticed his lip tremble again and he was blinking away fresh tears. I placed a hand on his shoulder and he finally met my gaze. “You did a good job keeping yourself together out there but you don’t have to be strong for me.” I informed him with a soft tone. Chris shouldn’t have to play the role of the tough guy with me, I didn’t need his support nor did I want him thinking I viewed his sorrow as a weakness. It was human and genuine, it was a piece of what made Chris who he was. His eyes searched mine though I’m unsure of how much he could actually see of them. After a few silent moments, a tear slid down the brunet’s cheek and I watched it descend. 

“Thank you Wesker.” he could only manage a whisper as he nodded slowly in understanding. He made no move to wipe away the wetness from his face so I did it for him. 

“Of course.” I answered almost kindly. He shouldn’t have to be alone through this, he needed to know that people cared for him. But that begged the question of why it was I that was here for him. What did that insinuate? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's the trick- you're welcome! Anyway sorry this took me longer to post than I was hoping but my school and work schedule is back in full swing so I don't get much time to myself to do much of anything and when I do, honestly I kind of just laze around. I'll try to be a bit more attentive to this when possible. Man poor Chris though, right? Relationships are hard especially when you feel like you're the only one that wants something more out of it or is putting anything into it at all. Guess we'll see how this unfolds. Also good on Chris for getting information out of Wesker for multiple reasons but I'm just glad they get to have these talks. See you guys around, later!


	10. Day 7

I woke up feeling genuinely better for once, both physically and mentally. I sat up in bed and looked around my temporary room, not feeling the same despair I usually did and smiled to myself. One week down, three to go, I could do this. I cleaned the fleshlight I had used again, worked out, and showered but before I left my room, I caught the letter on my desk. I cursed to myself for not reading ‘Funeral’ last night before sitting in my chair to do that before Wesker found out. Would he even care? I wasn’t sure but he was going through the effort of having each one ready every night so I felt bad that I hadn’t done my part in reading it. It was short anyway so it didn’t take me long to get through it. I carried it out with me, leaving it on the coffee table for Wesker to get around to burning whenever he wanted. 

Wesker’s door was still closed and I actually found myself wanting to go knock on it to see what he was up to. I didn’t even bother to tell myself any excuses about it being because of any type of suspicion or that I should be keeping my eye on him, I just wanted the company… his company. But I didn’t bother him because I knew he would know why I did it. So I busied myself making something small to eat as I wasn’t very hungry yet but I wanted to show Wesker that I wasn’t going to keep relying on him. I’ll admit it was nice having him cook for me but I was perfectly capable of doing things for myself. I didn’t bother making enough for the blond as well since he just ate yesterday and wouldn’t need to again for another day or two. 

I had the time to finish eating and do all the dishes and Wesker still hadn’t come out of his cell. I sat on the couch, pretending to be reading something in the news on my phone though my attention was stuck to the door on my right. Surely he knew I was up, it’s not like I had been quiet and even if I was he would have heard me anyway. Maybe he was taking a shower… I didn’t hear the water running. Maybe he was just too busy writing or something… but he preferred to do things out here with me. Maybe he wanted to be alone right now for some reason… but he said he enjoyed my company and nothing happened between us that would warrant either of us to avoid one another. I’d even dare to say we were on good terms and this would be the time for him to try to get closer to me since he knew I was allowing it… sort of. 

I hadn’t noticed my finger tapping against my folded arm, my phone forgotten, until the tempo and strength behind it made the joints ache. That’s it. I stood and walked to his door, pausing for a moment as I thought about what I was going to say to him. I was angry… why? It’s not like we made plans and he was standing me up or anything… he wasn’t doing anything wrong by staying in his cell and I shouldn’t care what he was doing. So why did I? Why was I angry at him for keeping me waiting for him as if my day only started when he walked into it? I didn’t bother knocking, reminding myself that it wasn’t his bedroom- it was his prison cell and I was his warden. 

I opened my mouth to say something when I froze at the sight before me. Wesker lay shirtless on his bed, the blanket only covered the bottom half of his body and his inhuman eyes were closed. He lay on his side facing the room, one arm under the pillow where his head rested against it and the other hanging over his torso. His hair was out of the usual style to fall over the pillowcase, having gone long enough without any hair gel to aid it in remembering how it was supposed to stay. Under the blanket, I could tell his knees were slightly bent which left a small spot in front of him where I could sit if I wanted to but I shook that thought from my mind. I looked back up his body, tracing the light curve in his position, and found his eyes fluttering open. They found mine right away and blinked a few times as thoughts ran over them to catch up with what was happening. When he was done processing the situation, he sat up and ran a hand over his hair to attempt to get it to go back and stay that way which most of it did though a few strands fell over his forehead. I expected him to make some comment about me waking him up or being here at all but he didn’t, just asked what time it was. 

“I uh… I don’t know.” I admitted, my eyes still hungrily raking over his bare torso. I didn’t care if he noticed, I thought it was pretty clear where we stood. I was attracted to him and he, for some still unknown but probably twisted reason, wanted me. We both knew and he wasn’t hiding it so I wasn’t going to anymore either. If he was going to put himself on display then I was going to look and I was at least going to pretend to be confident about it like I didn’t care that he saw me staring… like right now. He leaned back with his hands behind him on the bed for support to reveal the whole length of his torso and watched for my reaction to his open invitation. Though my face heated up and my heart rate increased, I stood my ground and didn’t look away. We both stayed still for a long moment before he smirked and pulled the blanket off to stand. My eyes traced over his bare legs before sticking maybe a little too long over the crotch of the boxers he wore. I always thought he was more of a briefs kind of guy especially with all of the tight clothing he wore but I wore boxers so that’s what I bought for him. 

“Was there something you needed of me?” he asked as he moved to the dresser to pull out a pair of sweatpants though he didn’t put them on yet as he walked over to his sink, throwing me a glance over his shoulder. 

“Um…” I was taken aback by the question because though I walked in, I hadn’t actually thought about what I was going to say. What justification did I have for coming in here other than the truth I couldn’t tell him of wanting to spend time with him? He wet his hands and ran them through his hair to keep it in place better. I watched his hands work, not realizing that I had stepped further in- closer to him until my hands reached up to grab his to stop him. He turned his head to look at me curiously. I hadn’t meant to but now that I was here, I wasn’t going to let him see that this was an impulsive action. I lowered his hands away from his head before releasing them to replace them with my own. My fingers slowly worked his wet hair into a more casual style, not as formal as he usually kept it but not messy either. Something I hoped he would like or at least accept while he wasn’t able to keep it how he liked. 

I kept my eyes on the blond hair between my fingers and I would deny that I was taking my time to play with it a bit. I smiled to myself as I remembered the first and only other time I’ve touched his hair after he lost that bet and I had him in casual attire for the day. Both times I was messing his hair up to restyle it and pretending I wasn’t enjoying every bit of it. My fingers running through his silky hair that while wettened caught the light to appear completely golden, a small smile of contentment on my face, and his eyes watching me in a mix of curiosity and amusement. 

Finally calling it good, my hands drifted at the sides of his head longer than would be acceptable though it was better than touching his face like I wanted to. Just like back then, he didn’t say anything to stop the touch. I couldn’t see his eyes last time and though they weren’t the eyes of a human anymore, I wondered if this was the same expression wore when he observed my motions before. I understood the typical looks from him but there was something else in his eyes right now… a kind of fondness… something almost soft. Maybe he was also recalling the other time this had happened. How he was looking at me made my heart flutter with emotion and I wanted to kiss him. The desire made me frown as my eyes shifted down and my hands slipped from him. 

“You turn the loveliest shade of red in these moments.” he whispered to me, drawing my widened eyes back to his and I took notice of the tiniest of smiles on his lips. I took a step away from him at that. He was just flirting and I was playing right into what he wanted from me- I needed to stop this! There was a difference between not hiding that I wanted him and leaving my feelings for him on display! I had to draw an emotional line and stop allowing myself to cross it! 

“I left the letter on the table for you.” I told him as I walked away, opting to go back to my room for at least a few minutes in order to calm down. I did some breathing to slow my heart from racing and checked the mirror to ensure I wasn’t red anymore before I exited again. Wesker was dressed when I returned to our shared space, standing with the latest letter in hand as his eyes skimmed it though he looked up to me when he heard my door open again. I smiled a bit to myself when I saw he left his hair how I made it. 

“Would you like to assist me?” he asked smoothly as he gestured to the kitchen and I nodded before following him. He grabbed the metal trash can and held the paper over it so I grabbed the lighter to set fire to one of the edges and watched it spread over the white pages. As if knowing how I liked to watch the flames engulf the paper, Wesker held them up for me until the flames reached too close to his fingers so he finally dropped them into the bin. I continued to listen to the fire crackle as I watched it burn, not realizing how close I was to Wesker until I lifted my head to come face to face with him. Neither of us moved. “Why are you so interested in these fires?” he asked with a soft tone. 

“I don’t know, it’s like a piece of you burning away.” I answered with a lazy shrug of one shoulder, still not moving or looking away. 

“And that’s a good thing?” he questioned, a bit of a suspicious edge to his low voice. I chuckled and finally backed up. 

“Well I like to imagine the bad memories are being destroyed and the good ones are being set free.” I told him as he put the bin back in its new place. 

“How sentimental of you.” he smiled at me but I didn’t return it. He was right… I shouldn’t be thinking of anything redeeming about him, he didn’t deserve it. I was getting too comfortable. I needed to pull back before he took advantage of this obvious weakness. 

“So I was thinking about Racoon City and your losses again.” I changed the topic as I moved around him to make some toast for a quick lunch since my breakfast was small. 

“Oh?” was all he said as he leaned on the counter and folded his arms across his chest. I felt his inhuman eyes following me but rather than feeling either threatened or studied in some way, it wasn’t anything. It was just casual… he wasn’t observing me or judging me, he was just giving me his attention as I made my lunch and started a new conversation with him. Maybe I wasn’t the only one getting too comfortable. That was actually a rather pleasant thought. I found myself once again feeling like maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad month and we were already a week in. 

“Well since the last letter was about a funeral, it had me thinking about how you didn’t get to go to William’s funeral since there wasn’t one and all.” I cringed at myself for that sentence, the whole thing being unnecessary but I was still trying to collect myself again. Weak excuse but there it was. “I was thinking that Sherry is a living piece of William so if you regret not helping him, maybe you could help her.” I explained though it was only a piece of what had been brewing in my mind. 

“I believe I’ve helped her enough.” 

“Do you know what happened to her after Racoon City?” I raised a brow at him, only sparing him a glance before going back to what I was doing. 

“Just that she was taken in by the American government. Do you know where she is now?” he countered and I mentally slapped myself. I felt like if I was going to bring this up I should’ve had more information but that was about as much as I knew too. Would it even be wise to give him any information on Sherry? I don’t think he would do anything to her but still, he’s the enemy and whatnot. 

“I only know what Claire told me.” I informed him with a sheepish look. “I was just wondering how close to her you were since you made it seem like her parents wanted you in her life in your letter.” 

“I was in her life, I was her godfather.” I turned back to him sharply in shock. “Don’t look at me like that. I never wanted that responsibility but I still took it seriously.” he looked a little displeased at sharing the information but I didn’t doubt it for a minute. It wasn’t shocking that he took the responsibility seriously, he took everything seriously. It was shocking that someone gave him that responsibility in the first place though I supposed William considered Wesker to be his closest friend and knew how reliable he was. It was shocking to think of Wesker in any sort of a parental situation since he didn’t like children. Even on our STARS cases that involved kids he always had someone else deal with them, usually Jill since kids tend to be more trusting and comfortable with women. Still… I’d pay to see him acting like a father to a small child. It’d be cute. 

“Yet you don’t know where she’s been for the last eleven years.” I jabbed to hide the light blush that crept to my face due to some unwanted thoughts about him… and me… and kids. I don’t know where that thought process came from but the sooner I got rid of it the better. 

“And that’s for the best. Do you honestly think she would have been better off if I had kidnapped and raised her around my work?” I didn’t answer because there wasn’t one for that. No, I don’t think it would have been good for her or anyone to be around Wesker… yet here I was. “Therefore even in the decision to let her go, I was still acting in her best interest as her godfather.” there was a short silence between us as I took that in. Was he basically acknowledging that what he did for work was wrong? “You’ve met her, you know?” he continued which took me out of my head… and then put me right back into it on a different train. 

“I have?” I asked in surprise as I moved my food to the table to eat. The blond man followed me, sitting in his chair as I took mine. 

“Yes, there was a time she showed up at the police station to see me because she was angry at her parents and claimed to be running away.” I thought about that for a long time, trying to remember but I didn’t know what she looked like so it was hard to figure it out. So I tried to focus on the case but STARS didn’t deal with runaways… or kids in general except for the really tragic times kids were involved in the kind of cases that got assigned to us. But it was fair to assume this wasn’t anything like that. So I tried to remember any odd occurrences involving kids I could recall and only one instance came to mind. Even though it was such a distant and brief memory, it was memorable because of the oddity of it. A small blond girl came directly into the STARS office sobbing. We didn’t know what to do with her and any time we tried to get anything out of her, she said she didn’t talk to strangers. We tried to assure her it was okay since we were police officers but she was adamant that she would only talk to Wesker. We were all confused about how she knew him, how she got there without direction, and what was going on that was severe enough for this little girl to need the attention of our captain. It wasn’t much longer until he came back and wordlessly swept the girl into his arms and carried her into his office, closing the door behind him. They were in there for about half an hour before they emerged only to leave. Wesker returned after another half hour to simply tell us that had been a personal matter that he didn’t want any questions on. We all made theories about it like usual but he never mentioned it nor would allow any questions and we never saw her again so eventually we all forgot about it. 

“That was her?” I asked in surprise and he confirmed it. I nodded to myself a bit, still thinking about my brief encounter with the little girl. Well now I had a face to go with the name. 

“Your sister found her in the police station where Chief Irons abducted her for ransom from William. I believe she went there looking for me when her parents never returned home and people began to turn into zombies.” he seemed to have more to say about that but trailed off and got lost in thought. “I’m actually very grateful to your sister for getting her out of there when I couldn’t.” he finally finished and I nodded a bit, not knowing what to say to that. I never knew what to say when Wesker was acting even the slightest bit emotional over something because it was just so rare and always took me by surprise. It was clear he cared for Sherry even if it was in his own way and I had to brush away thoughts of trying to track her down for him just so he could know she was alright. I had no doubt that Leon could find out for me… no, I couldn’t do that. Wesker was probably considered a security risk for her so there was no way I was going to willingly seek out information on her specifically for him. 

I finished my simple breakfast and got up to wash my plate, my eyes glancing up to Wesker every once and a while to watch as he moved to the couch to wait for me. I was about to say something else when my phone buzzed in my pocket. The conversation wasn’t important enough for me to ignore her so I pulled the slim device from its place to see who else wanted my attention. 

Jill: You need to lock Wesker in at night 

I knew this was going to happen eventually but it wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have right now. 

Chris: Not like it does anything    
Jill: You’re getting too comfortable    
Chris: I’m just making it easier on myself    
Jill: I think he’s up to something you need to be careful    
Chris: What’s going on    
Jill: I just got in but I was told he’s been standing outside your door for the last two nights 

The last two nights… outside my door… I’ve masturbated the last two nights. He knew… more than that, he was actively listening. He purposefully stood outside my door for two nights to listen to me pleasure myself to thoughts of him… at least he didn’t know that last part. This was… I felt humiliated, anxious, and excited. He knew what I was doing and he liked it enough to come back for more. He even stealthily got me to turn down my music so he could hear me better! My whole body felt hot and I wanted to rush over to him and… I couldn’t tell if I wanted to punch him or kiss him. Maybe both. But the embarrassment was strong enough to keep me still. 

Chris: Thanks for letting me know    
Chris: I’ll be careful    
Jill: Are you okay    
Jill: You two have been getting close    
Jill: I’m getting worried    
Chris: We’ll talk about it later 

Should I bring this up with Wesker or keep it to myself that I knew he was listening in on me? What would he do if I told him? Would he take his advances on me a step further? Did I want that? My body ached longingly in response but my mind lectured me that he was the enemy. It was my heart that settled the argument between the conflicting reasonings. I’d said it before but I wanted this to be real, not just some trick to get what he wanted or a fling we shared for this short time. I wanted more than that but Wesker would never feel the same, would never settle down, and would never be to give me what I want. My heart hurt thinking about doing anything with him because I knew it would only be temporary and it would only be me that felt anything. He would abandon me and break my heart again and I couldn’t go through any more of that from him. So no, I didn’t want him to try anything else with me. I needed to shut that down. I decided not to bring it up, it really wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have anyway. I still didn’t want to lock him in again, though my reasonings were mostly excuses, they were true. But I swore to myself that I wasn’t going to be masturbating again anytime soon. 

I peered over to him just to meet his eye. He was looking at me with sinfully narrowed eyes and a knowing smirk. Did he know that I just found out or was he just looking at me like that because I was still blushing and he was planning to make a move? He got up and walked into his cell, I heard the sound of tearing paper before he came back out with a book. Whatever it was, he didn’t say anything about it and neither did I and he seemed to understand that I no longer wanted to talk. I did still sit on the couch with him, trying to act as if everything was normal just in case he didn’t know. But I didn’t know what to do. My face was still hot thinking about what he heard and it only took a few minutes for me to make some lame excuse that would put me in my room where I planned to stay. 

“Tonight’s letter is on my desk if you want to take it with you.” there was that arrogant smirk I was familiar with and a surge of anger rolled in me from the sight of it. I did my best to ignore it as I walked into his cell to grab the papers atop his desk and walk back out. When did that become so easy for me? I’d only been in there a few times and aside from today, it had always been stressful even if I did notice it fading. I chose to ignore that as well and went straight to my room only to pause in my doorway when Wesker’s voice called out to me. “Sleep well tonight.” I didn’t look back at him, knowing what kind of expression he would be wearing just from the sultry tone to his voice. I stepped into my room, shut my door, and locked it. He knew. 

I didn’t want to read his letter right now, it was titled ‘Pet’ and though I couldn’t see Wesker owning a pet, I guess he did at some point. I’d read it later, it wasn’t that late in the day and I felt like hiding in bed right now so that’s what I did. 

~ 

It was understandable for Chris to be at my beck and call since I was his captain but he always seemed to follow me with extra vigor. He admired me though he was never afraid to tell me if he disagreed with my orders. Given his record in the Air Force, I expected this and was fine with it. As a scientist, I was accustomed to debates and challenges of such a nature and could even find them progressive. As long as no one crossed the line into insubordination, I was willing to listen to their arguments. 

I didn’t frequently get invited out with everyone since they all knew I would deny but when I did, it was usually Chris that did it. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was the one thinking of me or if everyone else sent him to do it. Sometimes I wondered if they knew he was my favorite but I don’t recall ever showing any signs of it since I was strictly against favoritism. If anything I would have been harder on him than the others because I expected more of him. Maybe it was a simple case of him being more willing to press me even if I was in a foul mood. That was far more likely as he had a talent for that. 

I never owned a pet, never had an interest to either, but I sometimes thought that perhaps the way Chris looked at me when I praised him was the appeal people saw in having one. So at some point, at least in my own mind, I began to address him as such. He was my loyal dog that listened and followed when told, only speaking out if he felt something was wrong, watching my back when there was danger, and resting with me in the quiet moments. There were also the less desirable qualities of a pet as well such as the trouble he would cause when he was bored and the responsibility for his behavior fell on me as his owner. That’s what it was like to own a pet, was it not? It was as close to the experience as I ever cared to get and it was enough for me. 

I believe the first real time I found myself caring for Chris was when I nearly watched him get torn to shreds by cerberus, such was the fate of Joseph. Of course I had saved his, and the other’s, lives before but those were calculated acts- part of my role, if you will. It wouldn’t do to allow my unit to die since we were all taught to protect each other and I wasn’t going through the effort of training them all further just to have them perish when I could have spared them. That’s all it was, a job. But that job had shifted and now it was time to let them all die, to kill them with my own hands if need be. I had wanted as many in the mansion as possible for more varied combat data on our experiments but one less wouldn’t have been of consequence. I could have rushed to help Joseph but I didn’t and I saw Jill being attacked but chose not to act though Chris had come to her rescue. It wasn’t until a cerberus was leaping at Chris that my body reacted. I had shot it away and called out to him before I even realized what I had done. I hadn’t intended to save him, it had been purely instinctual though it had not been for the others. 

This simple act stirred up an inner turmoil that continued to plague me over the years. I tried to deny it but I found myself rather incapable of putting down my pet. Even after all that had happened, he was still loyal to me though the definition of that loyalty had shifted. Wherever there was mention of me, he would be there. He still followed me without hesitation and that brought on its own amusement that I didn’t want to be without. I made excuses to myself for why I didn’t kill him but that was the strongest, he provided a form of entertainment for me. It wasn’t until our encounter at the Spencer mansion that I understood the true reason I didn’t want him dead but I believe it was that accidental act of saving him from that infected dog that began the process of the discovery. However much he stood in my way and however deeply I still hated him, I was glad for his existence. 

Chris, at the point that I give you this letter you will have discovered that I’ve been listening in on your nighttime activities. I don’t expect it to take long since Jill or someone else will no doubt inform you. I expect you to act as though nothing has changed but I refuse. Though if you insist, I’ll play along so long as you turn off the music and give me something to really listen to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, I finally got another chapter out. Sorry it took so long to get it finished and posted, I've got the lame excuse of being terribly busy. Which is the truth but it's also true that I've been spending my free time drawing rather than writing. I wanna give credit jazzgirlsworld for the inspiration on the cerberus bit, it went a bit further in depth but that depth shall be explored a bit later when the two finally start talking more openly to each other.   
> Also, totally unrelated to this story or any updates though I guess it will affect how much I'm able to write later on. But I'm getting surgery in January or February! I'm so excited! It's not scheduled yet because I have to get my therapist's letter of support first but yeah! I was expecting to have to wait at least until next summer to hit my year on testosterone mark so this was fantastic news! For those of you who don't know, I'm transgender (FtM) and I've been on T since July 2020 and now I'm getting top surgery within the next three months! WHOA!


	11. Day 8

A brilliant heat overtook my face when I finished reading the letter. There was so much about it that I wanted to question but I was so flustered over the note he left for me at the end that I couldn’t think straight. I was embarrassed and furious over it! Not only had he been listening in on me like a creep but he was calling  _ me _ out on it! I was so angry I couldn’t even begin to think about how him wanting more from me got me a bit excited because how dare he toy with me like that! 

I stood up from my chair so quickly that it toppled over though I didn’t care as I marched to my door. I didn’t even think about what Wesker was doing right now or where he was- I just wanted this horrible, manipulative, creepy, awful letter in my clenched fist to no longer exist. I stormed into the kitchen and threw the pages into the metal bin before grabbing my lighter from the counter. When I turned back to light them up, the blond man I was very angry with stood before me with a vicious smirk on his sinful lips. 

“That’s quite the reaction.” he mused gleefully. He stepped closer to me and as if my face couldn’t get any brighter, the heat was still increasing with his proximity. I refused to stand down or show shyness from his advance since that’s what he wanted. “What did you think of my note?” he asked seductively as he inched close enough that we were nearly chest to chest, his face so close to mine I could feel his breath on my face. I’m sure he could hear my heart beating frantically as if it could reach out to him but I hoped he took all this as embarrassment rather than longing. 

“I think it was more of an invitation.” I stated back harshly, not meaning to take the small step back that I did. His smile grew so I could see his teeth seeming to be bared at me like he was going to devour me. I was afraid, not of him necessarily but of the pounding of my heart I could feel all over my body and of the heat coursing through my body and gathering in my abdomen. I was afraid of what might happen if I slipped up for even a second and my body acted on my desires for him since he was looking at me so possessively and offering himself to me so willingly. I was afraid of doing something I couldn’t take back, something that wouldn’t only change our complicated relationship but my own self in some fundamental way. I was afraid of the pain I knew would engulf me forever if I allowed this temporary bliss. It already hurt knowing my former captain had no idea what he was doing to me. It hurt evermore thinking that maybe he did and this was just another way he wanted to break me. 

“Perceptive.” he complimented me but really it was so obvious anyone would have seen it. “Just accept it.” his sultry voice whispered as he finally closed the small gap between us to press his body to mine. An arm wrapped around my waist and his fingers slipped under the hem of my shirt to spread fire over my skin at his touch. I felt every nerve in my body set off at once. Anger, desire, guilt, need, pain, and bliss all swirled through me like a whirlwind of fire and ice. I barely noticed him leaning just that tiny bit closer needed to connect our lips but I felt the overwhelming need to press even harder to him, wrap my arms around his body, and cling to him as I kissed him with everything I was to dispel the turmoil brewing in me. And I almost did. But at the last second, pain erupted in my forehead after I threw it forward to collide with his as hard as I could. He only recoiled slightly but he did release me and back away, now glaring at me. I glared back and panted hard as I focused only on my anger. 

“Don’t fucking touch me again.” I growled through my clenched teeth. I wanted to do so much more- punch him until my knuckles bled, kiss him until my lips were sore, scream at him until my voice went hoarse, touch him until I knew every line of his body, beat him down until he begged me to stop, love him until he begged for more. It was too muddled together, I couldn’t act one way without releasing the other. So I turned my attention back to the letter, quickly lighting it on fire and watching it just long enough to ensure it caught and spread before keeping eye contact with Wesker as it burned. The message was clear. This is what I thought of his letter- his invitation. I didn’t want it to exist. He continued to glare at me, not willing to back down from the challenge I posed but he wasn’t extending it by continuing to advance on me anyway. At least he got the message and in his own way was respecting my rejection even if he wasn’t taking it well. I left him then, with the letter still burning, and stormed off back to my room. I was preparing to slam the door when I heard a sigh and from the corner of my eye I noticed Wesker slouch against the counter, his sad eyes lighting up against the small flame he gazed into. I didn’t care- I didn’t care! 

My door clicked shut without an angry slam and I threw myself back onto my bed. My phone was buzzing and I knew it was probably Jill but I didn’t want to talk to her right now so I let it go to voicemail. A minute later and it vibrated once with a text. Figuring I could at least do that, I checked it though my eyes first found the time to see it was the early morning hours. I was hoping to get another peaceful night of rest but I knew it wasn’t going to happen now. Just when I thought we were falling into a nice pace, he just couldn’t help but fuck it up, could he? 

Jill: Want to talk about it 

I really didn’t want to… but I really did at the same time. The swirling emotions were still raging in me but grief had found its way to the forefront of it all. I felt as if I had just lost something though I don’t understand why or what it was. The possibility of being with Wesker even if it was just temporary? No, I’m sure if I were to leave my room again to come onto him he would readily accept it. I was so confused and alone but I knew I wasn’t alone, Jill was my best friend and Claire was my only family left- both would love me no matter what and I knew I could always rely on them. I felt so weak as tears slipped from my eyes but I called Jill anyway. Her voice was soft and caring when she greeted me, she wasn’t angry over what happened like I thought she might be. Maybe she understood some of the confusion I felt, which made me feel better. 

We talked for a long time. I didn’t intend to go into much depth but I did, the words just flowing out of me. I started at the beginning. I admitted to having a crush on Wesker back in STARS only to realize as I watched him die that it was more than that- that I loved him. I told her about my isolated mourning of his death while feeling disgusted for wanting him back after his betrayal. I was angry after meeting him again on Rockford Island because I had buried my grief under my hatred but I couldn’t deny that I was relieved even if he was now the very thing I was fighting to destroy. I explained my inner struggle with his very existence as the years pressed on. I didn’t think about him most of the time but whenever he came up, a mixture of hatred and longing never failed to stir within me. 

Jill was silent as I spoke, patient when I had to pause to collect myself, and soothing as she told me it was alright when I apologized for my state. I told her about the major depression I fell into after they were gone and that I was mourning for both of them, again conflicted on missing Wesker. I told her of the overwhelming relief I felt when I learned she was alive and concluded our enemy must be as well. I spoke of the gratitude I felt for him after learning he had personally saved her life and delivered her back to me. 

I admitted to thinking being stuck in here with him wasn’t so bad and I found that I was even enjoying myself at times. He was acting so much like the strict but caring captain I thought we lost- if he ever even existed. He was being open and even helpful, it was getting harder for me to believe that he wasn’t being real with me. There was a piece of me that wanted to believe that he wanted me here just because he wanted to spend time with me. All the feelings of love I denied I felt for him were bombarding me from every direction and I didn’t know what to do. It was easy enough to just play nice but suddenly learning he wanted me sexually during this stay was messing me up in so many ways. But I just couldn’t go there because I wasn’t sure I could come back from it. It was thrilling when he was near me and I wanted to let him have me, god I wanted it, but I wasn’t sure what would be left of me after he inevitably left me again. 

“I don’t know what to do Jill.” I muttered as I rubbed at my eyes again. “It’s confusing and it hurts.” though I’d been trying to stop crying, the tears that continued down my face had their own plans. I knew it was good to finally get this all out and Jill would never think me weak because of it but I never did like crying. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t see your suffering and try harder to help you through it before.” was her soft response and I shook my head as I sniffled and blinked my eyes rapidly. 

“I didn’t want you to.” I told her. 

“I’m going to be here for you now.” she assured me, her tone a bit stronger. “I… I understand a lot of the mixed feelings right now… I mean I’ve hated him for so long for all the horrible things he’s done but he saved my life. Everything he’s doing right now is weird and confusing but I can’t help but feel like it’s right somehow.” I felt a weight lift from my chest at her admittance. She felt it too. Of course we were still suspicious of him but somehow we knew he wasn’t going to try anything, that he was being genuine in his surrender. At least until the terms were met and then who knew what he would plan for next. But what if he wasn’t planning anything after this month was over, what if he just remained in this prison? He’d be all alone… I thought about coming to see him from time to time when I wasn’t busy. It didn’t seem right, Albert Wesker rotting away in some cell, left to be forgotten? Something about it didn’t sit well in my mind. Maybe we could try to make some sort of truce with him, he could work in the labs to create vaccines like Rebecca or… maybe he could eventually be trusted enough to work out in the field with me. 

“Yeah.” was all I could say as I nodded slightly, my tears finally slowing. 

“I don’t think he’s going to try anything else with you, you sent a pretty clear message and I don’t see Wesker being the type to force himself on you. If he did, I’d be right there to gun him down after you already had him full of holes.” she sniggered lightly and I hummed in amusement, wiping my face dry for what I hoped was the last time. “Honestly,” Jill sighed. “he seems kinda depressed right now.” that struck a chord in me, one that reverberated sadness. It lined up with that last glance I had gotten of him. I wondered what he thought about the whole thing and what he was thinking now. We both knew we were attracted to each other and he tried for sex and I got angry over it… then he got depressed? That implied he cared that I rejected him… and I didn’t- couldn’t care. It had to be stopped and I couldn’t let my mind make up false feelings where there were none for me. He was upset because I didn’t give him what he wanted and maybe because he realized he may have just screwed up how easy things have been between us. Suddenly I understood all of those cheesy dramas where one person doesn’t want to confess their feelings to the other out of fear of changing things. You tell yourself it won’t change anything but it does. 

We talked for a little while longer about lighter subjects until Jill’s shift was ending with morning now in full swing and shifts changing. Usually she didn’t work overnight but her schedule had been switched around a bit with the regular grave monitor since her therapy had been interrupting her normal schedule. She said it was going well, she was working through the haze of what happened though she once again said that she didn’t need it. Yes it was scary for her to face almost dying and especially waking up during her own surgeries but overall, she thought that what happened to her was a good thing since Wesker saved her life and turned himself in. Her therapist begged to differ, saying that the whole act of sacrificing oneself can leave lasting effects or something, she started to say ‘yadda yadda’ and shrugged the whole thing off. If there was something she wanted to talk about, she would call me later about it once she thought I had enough time to fully recover from everything we just talked about. 

“Go home and take care of yourself.” I told her as I rolled onto my side, my eyes feeling extra heavy. 

“I can still talk.” she reassured me though her voice was a little distant like she was holding her phone to her ear with her shoulder as she did something else. I heard her muffled voice talking to someone else, probably the person coming to relieve her. I knew they updated each other on things that happened during their watch and what to look for and I wondered what Jill had told the other agent about what happened last night. Even though it had been recorded for whoever wanted to go back through the footage to watch it, I knew my best friend wouldn’t directly tell anyone without need. It’s not like anyone actually watched the old footage unless something were to happen anyway, that’s why someone was always watching live. No one would know what happened last night but the three of us, we were just lucky Jill was working tonight. 

This was wrong… I felt like we were doing something forbidden but I didn’t do anything wrong. Wesker came onto me and I rejected him. Was I afraid someone would see how much I wanted him and be disgusted with me? I didn’t usually care what others thought of me but in this case I could be seen as compromised and if the BSAA started to doubt me, my position or even my job could be at risk- my whole life could be turned inside out if they thought Wesker had gotten into my head enough. What if that was his real plan? The very thought chilled me to my core. That would truly be the best way to break and ruin me… and from what I’ve experienced with him, that was his whole goal with me. Of all my theories so far, it made the most sense. 

“Really Jill, I’m fine now.” I told her when her attention returned to me. “You’re busy and I’m tired. Thank you for talking to me.” I spoke sincerely and honestly. My eyes were sore from crying and heavy with emotional exhaustion and lack of sleep. 

“Okay, okay.” she relented. “I’ll call you later to check in, hang in there.” 

“Alright.” I was about to move my phone from my head to hang up when her next words froze me in place. 

“I love you Chris.” it wasn’t the first time we had exchanged the intimate words but we rarely did as we tended to reserve that level of tenderness for those extra important moments when it was most needed. Fresh tears welled in my eyes, I didn’t realize how desperately I needed to hear that right now. 

“I love you too Jill.” I tried to hide the slight hiccup to my raw voice but I’m sure she heard it. 

“Get some sleep big guy.” she said lovingly and I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. The call ended so I shut off my phone. I stared at the wall for a moment and wished there was a window I could see out of. I knew it was morning but it was still pitch black in my room without the light on. I wanted to see the sun. I stared as if I could burn a hole through the wall to reach the outside world until my eyelids were too heavy to lift anymore. My eyes slid shut and I fell into a deeper darkness. 

… … … 

I don’t know how long I was asleep but it didn’t feel like long until I was jostled awake by my phone going off. It was Claire. I didn’t really feel like talking to anyone right now, just wanting to be dead to the world but it was Claire so of course I answered. 

“Hey.” I greeted lazily. 

“Hey Chris.” my sister returned happily. “Happy one week anniversary of you being locked up with Wesker.” she joked and I internally cringed at the mention of the other man but managed a chuckle. 

“Thanks but shouldn’t you have called yesterday for this? This is my eighth day, the start of week two.” I clarified and she sighed more to herself. 

“Maybe but I got held up with something else.” she explained lamely. “I’m just calling to check in and make sure you’re still alive.” I frowned at the playful tone she used, no doubt to try to raise my spirits about the shitty situation I found myself in. I would have responded positively to that just yesterday… why couldn’t she have called yesterday? “Chris?” her voice was worried at my lack of an answer. 

“I’m hanging in.” I told her with a deep sigh of my own. “I already had a big talk with Jill about it not too long ago so I’d rather not get into it again right now.” there was a brief pause and I could imagine her nodding in understanding at me. 

“Right!” was her hurried reply when she realized I couldn’t see her. “Yeah, of course that’s okay.” she wasn’t usually a ditsy kind of girl but she seemed to lose herself when she worried over me- not that I had any room to speak since I did the same thing when I worried over her. We got lost in our own heads for the best way to get each other out of whatever situation we were in and she seemed to understand that right now I just needed some quiet. “You sound tired.” she brought back her cheerful tone though it was subdued with that familiar anxiety of worst case scenarios flooding her thoughts. “Try to get some sleep for me, okay Chris?” I didn’t want to tell her she had actually woken me up so as not to make her feel even worse. 

“I will.” I promised. “Seriously though, don’t worry. Everything’s fine now, I just had a rough day.” I told her and she sighed again, one more of consideration. 

“Okay, I’ll try.” that was the best I could ask for. “I love you.” though the words were casual and often shared between us, they still held a lot of meaning and I smiled, feeling a little better at the welcomed reminder. 

“Love you too Claire.” we hung up and I slid my phone under my pillow as I closed my eyes again. I knew asking her not to worry about me right now was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever asked of anyone. For a full thirty days I was locked in a small living area with no way out with the person that was most likely the most dangerous person on the planet and if he did decide to kill me, help wouldn’t come fast enough to save me. Not that they would be able to save me even if they were here as it happened anyway. I’ve always known that if Wesker wanted someone dead, they were as good as nonexistent. The fact that he stated over and over how much he wanted to kill me and I was still breathing was nothing short of a miracle. Sometimes I chalked it up to dumb luck, sometimes I patted myself on the back for my skill, sometimes I blamed the sadist gleam in the blond’s demonic eyes that promised death only after he broke me first… and other times I took cautious notice of the sad conflict behind the glow in those same orbs. Whatever it was, I knew I was alive for a reason. 

But that was harder to explain to other people. It was hard to explain that I felt a certain safety with Wesker because I knew even in his most sadistic moments, he wouldn’t outright kill me until he’d broken me. And I wouldn’t ever get broken by him no matter what he did to me so therefore he couldn’t kill me. I would never ever say that to anyone though out of fear that it would somehow reach Wesker’s ears because he would take the challenge and I would rather that not happen. So to me, I knew I was okay here even if this was a ploy to have me near to finally break me completely so he could then exact his revenge against me by ending my life. I was more stubborn than he could ever anticipate and my resolve would never bend to his whims. But to everyone around me, I was seen as being in constant danger. I didn’t know how to ease their minds because it was a very reasonable belief to have. I was trapped with my greatest enemy, how could anyone not think I was in danger and worry? 

I sat up when I heard paper shuffling to see white pages being slipped under my door. I didn’t appreciate him forcing me to deal with him when I was obviously avoiding him- and I certainly didn’t want another letter from him. I got out of bed, suddenly angry now, and snatched the letter into my fist before opening the door harshly. I glared at Wesker’s back, my mouth open as if to snap at him but nothing came out… I had no idea what to say. The superhuman stopped walking away to look back at me, seeming tired in some nonphysical way that was strange for me to see. He watched me expectantly but I closed my mouth and drew my lips into a tight line, awkwardness replacing my anger. I didn’t have anything to say, I didn’t want to deal with him- not even to fight with him. He was the one to break the eye contact, his red-orange eyes lowering before he turned again and started back to his cell. I let him go, watching as he closed his door behind him to shut me out. I guess he was avoiding me too. 

I looked down at the crumpled letter in my hand and sighed, this was more of a formality for consistency then. Shutting and locking my door, I made my way back to bed. I wasn’t sure what time it was and I didn’t care. I would read the letter ‘Sherry’ which I’m sure he only wrote because we had been talking about her and then I would try to go back to sleep. Everything else could be dealt with tomorrow. 

~ 

Unaware there was anything amiss, I went about my tasks for the day before returning to the office. It wasn’t until I stepped close to the door that I realized something was wrong. I heard my team talking more than usual while I was out of the office and there were the stifled cries of a small girl. Confused, I opened the door and walked over to where a few of my Alpha members were gathered around a young blonde girl sitting at Jill’s desk. The girl was still in her school uniform and she was trying to hold back her tears though as soon as her eyes fell on me, they poured freely. My eyes widened at the sight of her- she wasn’t supposed to be here. After just a split moment of surprise, my eyes narrowed in anger and I marched over to sweep Sherry off her feet as she stood at my approach. The others straightened as well though I ignored their questions about the girl and the situation, opting to take my godchild to my personal office and away from my team as quickly as possible. I closed the door behind us and set her onto my desk chair as I knelt before her. 

“Why have you come here Sherry?” I demanded as she wiped her eyes and sniffled as she tried to stop crying. 

“Mom and Dad didn’t come to get me again today- the nanny wasn’t even there!” she explained through hiccuped breaths. I sighed in exasperation at her parents as their negligence was affecting not only myself on a personal level but now it was beginning to creep into my work. When this child was born, they had both referred to her as their greatest creation yet now they were so engulfed in the G-virus that they couldn’t be bothered to ensure Sherry was picked up from school. I’m not claiming I could do better in the parenting department though I was confident I could handle multiple tasks better than the two of them combined and this was prime evidence. I knew I would make for a terrible father as I didn’t like children, I had no interest in leaving behind any sort of legacy, and I was much too busy to be dragged down like this. I’m told children require love and warmth from their parents, such tender traits I do not possess nor do I care to. That’s why I don’t have any offspring. 

“Why not walk home instead of coming to me?” I questioned the girl, trying my best not to narrow my eyes at her. It wasn’t as if she understood the connection she represented and had done this on purpose to expose me. As small a connection she may be and I was sure no one would suspect anything from this, I was very meticulous about how I went about my business. There was also Chief Irons to consider, he was a fool that knew who she was and he was much more obvious when it came to secrets. I couldn’t afford for this to be a problem. 

“I just wanted to see you one last time.” she spoke with false confidence in her eyes though her lip still trembled. This caught my attention and had me on alert, phrases with such finality usually ended in suicide in my experience… but she was ten years old and though her home life wasn’t the greatest, she didn’t strike me as all that depressed. “I’m running away.” she stated, trying to look stronger by ignoring the fresh tears on her face. My body relaxed slightly, unknowing that I had tensed so badly. 

“Running away?” I repeated in disbelief, the very idea was laughable. She lived in a very nice home, received whatever she wanted, given a very good education, and could have whatever opportunity she wanted in the future. Sherry had everything she could want in life and she wanted to run away from all of it simply because her parents were often busy at work? I couldn’t expect her to understand the importance of the work we all did as I couldn’t even tell her anything about the work we did nor could her parents. It was at least understandable for a rational mind kept in the dark to get frustrated at being neglected for something no one would explain. If she knew what her parents were always so busy with, perhaps she would be more cooperative. However I would never compromise the project William was devoting his life to currently nor would I risk bringing unwanted attention to my employers with Umbrella. 

The girl never answered me, too busy trying to clear her face of tears as if she were preparing to set off now. As ridiculous as this whole thing was, I couldn’t just leave her to cry like this. I was appointed as her godparent and I believe something like this fell under my jurisdiction however displeased I was with it. Sherry wasn’t my mistake so why must it be me that had to clean this mess? 

“And where will you stay?” I asked her and blue eyes widened as she hadn’t been expecting to be questioned on her decision. “You will not find the comfort you seek in my home, I’m at work much longer than your parents are.” it could be said that she already knew that since she came here rather than trying to find me at my apartment. She seemed to think about this but I didn’t wait for her to come up with some silly answer. “What will you eat?” she seemed more distressed by my continued prodding. “How will you stay warm in the cold of night?” it was awfully convenient for children to forget all the things their parents did for them because of something they didn’t do. Her breath hitched and she sniffled again, trying to keep her tears back. Of course she hadn’t considered any of this, she was too overwhelmed with her emotions to think anything through. I was disappointed in her state. Her parents were both brilliant and she inherited their genes yet here she was acting like such a child, she should be above such trivial squabblings. 

“I wanna go home.” she cried and I sighed with a nod, content that she had at least wisened to that much. She was protected and loved there even if she sometimes didn’t believe it. That was a matter for her parents to deal with, not me. 

“I’ll take you.” I told her as gently as I could muster. Standing straight, I made the effort to offer my hand as I had seen Jill do with other children before. Her small hand slipped into mine and I walked with her out of my office, shutting the door behind us. I ignored the stares of my team as I led my godchild out of the STARS office, out of the Racoon City Police Department, and into the underground parking lot. She released my hand to slip into the passenger side of my car as I got into the driver’s side. As we drove away from the building, I glanced at her and didn’t know what to do about her fragile state. Wasn’t it my job to help her? “You know your parents love you.” I stated it as a fact. “Their work is important and for people like us it can be easy to get lost in our work. It’s not that they have forgotten you, they just lost track of time.” 

“I know.” she nodded with a soft voice. “I know they love me but it gets really lonely without them around and sometimes it feels like they don’t care.” she explained with her lips slightly quivering like she might start crying again. 

“I can understand your desire to seek me out for comfort,” I couldn’t but I knew the girl liked to be around me for some reason unbeknownst to me. “but you can not show up at my work.” I told her seriously. “I also do very important work and can afford no disturbances.” 

“I’m sorry.” she muttered with her head lowered, I took notice of the way she deflated and sighed. 

“You have my telephone number should you need me. Call me the next time there is a problem.” I added calmly as we pulled up to her house and I parked in the driveway. 

“I will Uncle Wesker.” she assured as she gave me a nod and a nice smile. Regardless of her smile, I knew I could have done much better during this entire encounter. I turned in my seat to face her better. 

“I think it would be best if you sat your parents down and had a discussion about your feelings rather than run from your problems like a child. Perhaps request a more attentive nanny while you’re at it.” this gave her pause and she looked at me oddly. 

“I am a child.” she stated obviously as if I genuinely wasn’t aware. I took off my sunglasses and leaned closer to her so she could see how serious I was being. 

“You are far too intelligent to be behaving like one.” I told her sincerely and she smiled as she wiggled a little in her seat, happy with the praise. 

“Okay Uncle Wesker, I’ll talk to them.” she said confidently with her head held higher than before. 

“Good girl.” I praised her as I placed my blackened glasses back on my nose. We got out of my car and she grabbed onto my hand as we walked up to the front door. She used her key to get in and I sent her to her room to change out of her school uniform while I called her father. 

“Now’s not really a good time Wes-” 

“Nor was it for me when your offspring came to my work.” I cut him off and there was silence on the other end of the line while he processed what I said. 

“What happened?” he asked with a deep sigh. 

“The nanny didn’t pick her up, you can get the rest of the story from Sherry.” William groaned and I could hear his wife’s voice in the background asking what was wrong, probably thinking it was something related to their work. “I’ve brought her home but I need to return to work.” 

“Alright, I’ll uh… hold on.” I listened for a moment to my colleague conversing with Annette about what to do with the situation. Sherry came out of her room and placed her backpack on the table to pull a textbook out of it. The well behaved young girl was getting to her homework without being told to, how studious. I smiled a little at her but dropped it when she looked at me. She smiled at me and moved to retrieve something from the fridge before walking over to me. She lifted the small box of apple juice to show me as she pointed to it and then herself with a pleading smile. I nodded and she beamed but before she walked away she hesitated with a thoughtful expression. She pointed at the juice box once more before pointing to me. I shook my head so she went to the table to get to her work. “Okay,” William’s voice returned to the speaker so I tuned back into the conversation. “Annette is calling the nanny right now so she should be over soon.” 

“Am I to wait here then?” I asked coldly, not having signed up to play babysitter today. 

“Um, well no, you don’t have to. Sherry can be home alone, she’s old enough to be responsible for herself.” William told me and I looked over the girl as she studied on her own. I agreed with that, it was obvious she could take care of herself since she’s had to do it most of her life. I just wasn’t sure when leaving children alone was acceptable but it seemed ten years old was fine. 

“I will wait, I want to have a word with the nanny if you don’t mind.” I explained which was true since the woman apparently needed a lesson in punctuality. But I also factored in the girl’s loneliness since that was the whole reason this had even occurred in the first place. It wouldn’t do to tell the girl she could turn to me just to leave her at the first given chance. My team could wait an extra fifteen minutes for my return. At least that was the timeframe I was giving the nanny before I personally ensured she was out of the job. As of now, it was up to Sherry. 

“By all means.” 

“This can not happen again William.” I told him sternly. “I can’t have her muddying the balance of my personal and work life.” 

“There’s a difference?” he chuckled but when I didn’t respond, he sensed how irritated I was with him over the comment and he cleared his throat. “You’re right, I’ll talk to her about it and I apologize for the inconvenience. Thank you for getting her home safely.” 

“Yes well, that was the point of assigning me as her godparent, was it not?” I pointed out with just a touch of malice since he forced me into this role. He laughed mirthfully and agreed. 

“I guess that’s true.” he spoke before sighing. “You didn’t have to take it though, you could’ve said no.” I shook my head at his words. As if I could refuse. Without anything more to say, I hung up. I sat next to Sherry at the table and looked over what she was doing. 

“Is there anything you don’t fully understand?” I questioned and she seemed to think on it, her eyes skimming over the page she was working on. I might as well do something useful while I was stuck here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter up and what a chapter! Poor baby Chris, deeper and deeper he goes into this rabbit hole of repressed emotions. He's getting through it though with some help. I actually wrote the whole running away thing with Sherry around stories my mom tells me about what I did when I got mad. Apparently I used to say I was running away and my mom would help me pack a bag with some lunch, asking me where I was going and such 'anywhere' or 'away' would be my answers. She said I would sit outside, eat my food, sneak back in later, and act like nothing happened. I don't remember any of this since I was young and I don't have many memories of my mom before I remet her later on but it's still funny.   
> I'm already most of the way through the next chapter, honestly I was working on that one when I should have been finishing this one. I just need to wrap it up and write Wesker's letter then it'll be up.   
> Talk to you later!


	12. Day 9

I woke up again only a few hours later, covered in a layer of sweat and my breathing slightly harsher. Another nightmare. I’d been having enough trouble sleeping lately that I thankfully didn’t have to deal with them and the other night was the first good night of sleep I’d gotten probably since Jill tackled Wesker out of that window all those months ago. But of course, just like everything else good in my life, it couldn’t last. It was my own fault for jinxing it, feeling like things would actually get better, if that was the case then this was an omen of how my nights would go from now onward. Things never got better- there were always more awful things being spat at me even from my own god damn mind! I couldn’t ever get away from it all. I just wanted to rest. No more violence, no more enemies to be wary of, no more corrupt corporations looking in all the wrong places for greedy desires, and definitely no more BOWs of any kind. 

I skipped my workout and went straight for a cold shower. Anger and sadness still brewed under my skin but I felt oddly numb to it today. I guess that was a good thing about crying it all out to someone else like I did, there was nothing left to feel or do about it. It just was. I stayed in the shower longer than I normally did, until the cold spray paled my skin and I felt numb on the outside too. I didn’t want to do anything today. I just wanted to fade away into nothing like I didn’t exist. After all the gore, death, raw carnage, immoral experimentation, betrayal, and personal loss I had faced… I was so tired of it all, was it wrong to want to stop fighting? 

I finally shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, staring at myself in the mirror for a long moment. My skin was a bit lighter than usual but that was only because the color drained from me due to the long exposure to the freezing water. I focused on my eyes, usually alive and determined now dull and soulless. Though I was long since used to the weight of my own body, I felt so heavy like every movement took more effort than it should. On a subconscious level I knew what I was experiencing was a deep level of depression and I should seek help rather than suffer alone which would just make it worse… but I didn’t want to talk to anyone. 

I dried myself off and threw on some clean clothes before walking back into my bedroom. Habit told me to go get some coffee like it would make me feel any better but I knew it wouldn’t so I didn’t bother. I didn’t want to lay around in bed anymore so I sat on the armchair in front of my tv and just stared at the black screen, my eyes following the line of my silhouette in the dim reflection. 

Through the numbness I felt an ache for my old captain, the man who found me sulking at my desk after hours over some stupid mistake I made and processed to taunt me with that emotionless expression. I was so angry at him I asked why he didn’t just fire me already if I was just a failure because, oh yeah, I was the best marksman he’d ever get. I knew it was wrong to lash out at him but I was already doubting myself, I couldn’t have him doubting me too. He told me I was good but not irreplaceable so I challenged him to a shoot off which he accepted. He took me to the shooting range and we took turns giving each other target points. It felt good to let off a few rounds and winning was a bonus. I was triumphant and my self confidence returned with the proof that I wasn’t worthless. I turned to gloat but hesitated at the tender smile Wesker wore. He brought one of my targets between us and with purpose he stuck his finger through the hole created from several bullets finding the same spot on the red circle as if to emphasize how remarkable it was. He reassured me he wouldn’t fire me over a simple mistake, that I should stop beating myself up over it and work to make sure it didn’t happen again. He placed the target back down and walked past me, clapping me on the shoulder once as he did. He told me he was glad I was acting like myself again and congratulated me on my win. Then he was gone. 

He pushed me out of my self doubt with his challenges to my character because he knew I would defend myself… he knew what I was worth and knew I did too, he just needed to remind me. The challenge had been fun and I had found myself smiling and sure of myself again all because he knew how to push me to remember myself rather than try with pretty words of comfort like Jill had. It was nice reassurance but Wesker’s show had been far better than Jill’s tell. And the smile he gifted me with had stirred inside me for a long while, it stayed with me to this day. 

Maybe that’s what I needed now. Before I could stop myself, my safe was already open and my gun was in hand as I unlocked my door to leave it. Wesker wasn’t in the common areas which meant he was in his cell. His door was open though I couldn’t see him in the bathroom or on his bed which only left his desk. I walked the short distance to his cell, flicking off my gun’s safety as I lifted my arms and pivoted in his doorway to aim right at his head. I fired without hesitation but his blurry motion registered a moment later and I saw that he had moved his head to the side just in time for the bullet to sail right past him and bury into the wall in front of him. He was now turned in his seat to glare at me with a studious gaze, trying to figure out what I was doing. Finally remembering that we were under constant surveillance, I raised my left hand to signal to a camera to stand down. I could only hope someone was still watching rather than rushing to prepare the team to storm in here. My hand returned to its spot under my gun hand to steady my aim. My gaze was hard as it was returned to Wesker and he smirked as he stood up. Something about the way he looked at me sparked a feeling inside of me, I wasn’t sure yet what it was but it was feeling. 

“Am I allowed to retaliate or do you wish to take your frustrations out on a still target?” he asked as soon as he realized what this was. 

“Thought you said you wouldn’t hurt me?” I spat at him, unaware I had even wanted to say that- or anything at all. He only said that as a peace agreement during this shared captivity but somehow, without knowing it, it meant something more to me. How could I ever expect him to mean that- hurting me was all he knew how to do! More feeling returned to my core in small tides of heat. 

“Based on your recent behavior, I’d say I already have.” he shot back without missing a beat, wearing a challenging smirk. I squeezed the trigger again and again and again, my aim chasing him around the room though careful not to put a bullet into anything but the walls. The tides of heat became waves and I yelled as my shots just barely missed Wesker’s quick form. Suddenly he was standing directly in front of me though not as close as I knew he would have been if I hadn't lashed out at him yesterday but still close enough to be invading my personal space. He was still smirking and didn’t seem at all concerned with the barrel of my handgun pressed under his chin. I hadn’t intended to but out of habit I had been counting my shots and I had one more in the chamber. If I knew that, so did he. “Do it if it will make you feel better.” he told me with a serious look in his red-orange eyes. Feel better? Did he really think this would all be better if I just shot him in the head? I hesitated but he didn’t waver in his decision, his eyes told me to do it with something bordering on guilt but that had to just be wishful thinking. I  _ wanted _ him to feel bad about what he did to me but odds were he didn’t even know what he did, just that it pissed me off and he was only doing this to try to bring back the peace that had settled between us until yesterday. Still… he would let me shoot him in the head just to make me feel better about something he did wrong? More feeling and I registered the receding emotions as anger and pain, and I felt it being replaced with relief and gratitude. 

I pulled back to punch him and redirected my weapon before firing, my last bullet ripping clean through the blond man’s shoulder. He flinched very slightly before standing straight and taking a steady breath. I watched in awe as the wound quickly worked to seal itself closed again. It didn’t get a chance to bleed much but some of the crimson liquid stained the fabric of his shirt, I was sure there was some on his back and on the floor behind him, and a little had come forward to dot my hands. I did feel better. Not because I shot him but because he was willing to go through the inconvenience to himself solely for my benefit. It made me feel like he cared and even if he didn’t, I still chose to believe he at least cared enough about the comfort between us to go to these lengths to save it. 

“Are we even now?” he asked with a tight expression. I was sure he didn’t mean to look at me with any hatred since he invited me to do it but I mean I just shot him, he was probably holding back a much harsher reaction. I couldn’t shoot him in the head, I thought too much about him losing some piece of himself so I just couldn’t do it. But I did want to shoot him and it’s not like it would take weeks to heal so as long as it was something he would feel pain from, it was good enough for me. So yeah, we were even, at least as far as yesterday goes. Everything else he’s done is too big for me alone to forgive… not that I was on my way to forgiving anything. 

I nodded and wordlessly left his room- his cell to go back to my own bedroom. I left my door open and my gun on my desk so I could go wash my hands in the sink in my bathroom. I watched the small red spots on my fingers wash away and wondered what his blood could do to a normal person if ingested in some way. He had a virus in his blood so was it right to assume that it would work similarly to being infected? Nothing was known about the prototype virus he was given to inject himself with other than it was given to all the Wesker children and it grotesquely killed all but one of them. So aside from Wesker, no one- not even himself was sure of what it was exactly since all the records on Project W were lost in Racoon City. I was sure he had to have done plenty of experimenting on his own blood to figure it out so maybe he did know what it was after all. Speaking of records, I still wondered what methods Umbrella used to acquire him, what his real name was, and if he had any family. 

I was pulled from my thoughts by my phone buzzing insistently from my bed. I sighed and dried my hands before going to answer it. It was the man monitoring the cameras, wondering what that was all about and if I was okay, in that order. He sounded upset and I didn’t blame him, he was probably told this would be an easy job for him, that all he had to do was watch and alert everyone to any concerning activity. Then I threw a wrench into that by causing a concerning situation but told him to stand down so he was probably panicking over whether he should call in the team or not. I was glad he didn’t. I let him know everything was fine, told him I was mad at Wesker so I took a few shots at him like it was no big deal. He stumbled over his words for a moment, making it obvious he was either new here or only had a desk job that didn’t involve dealing with any enemies. To anyone else in the BSAA, it would make perfect sense for someone- especially me to want to hurt Wesker. He probably understood that on paper but without any experience, he couldn’t understand casually shooting at someone he probably saw as human. I reassured everything was fine now and ended the call. 

I was about to toss my phone back onto my bed but decided to slip it into my pocket instead, in case anyone else wanted to call to lecture me about what I did. I’m sure Jill would want to talk after she caught wind of this. I went about busying myself with cleaning and reloading my handgun when Wesker walked up to my open door, stopping to lean against the doorframe rather than enter which he knew was against the rules. 

“Are you in trouble?” he asked casually. I looked him over once, seeing he had cleaned himself up and changed his shirt. The inhuman man wasn’t looking at me in anger anymore either so I assumed he had time to remind himself that he told me to shoot him and to push aside the hatred he still held for me. I could see him leaving the blood stained shirt on and even coming over with a bloodied rag that he used to clean himself with just to stir up either guilt or anger in me. So I’m glad he didn’t do that, it showed me he wasn’t trying to start anything and had put it behind him so I would do that same thing. Still… holding a gun with him standing in my vicinity had me itching to shoot him. Old habits die hard I guess. 

“No, they were just checking on me.” I told him as I clicked the full clip back into my gun and cocked it so a bullet was in the chamber, ready to fire as soon as I had need for it. The blond nodded slightly like that was good news and I agreed. I don’t think either of us would like a team storming this temporary home of ours. It would just cause unnecessary issues and throw off the atmosphere of the place. 

“Are you going to attempt shooting me again?” Wesker asked sternly and I turned to him sharply in accusation. I hadn’t realized I’d been staring at my gun intently but he did. I sighed and tucked it away in the safe along with the ammo box and closed it. I shot him an annoyed look that asked if he was happy now. He simply walked away back to his cell, probably to return to whatever he was doing before I interrupted him with my gun. I sighed again and rubbed my hands down my face. Maybe I spoke too soon and we both needed a few more minutes. 

I lounged around my room for about another hour until I was sure all the irritation had ebbed out of me. Then I went to get some coffee, bringing an extra cup with me as I walked to Wesker’s room, tapping on the open door with my foot before sticking my head in to peer at him sitting at his desk. 

“Come in Chris.” he called to me without turning so I stepped in, walking over to place the coffee I made for him on his left side where I knew he usually kept his drinks while he was working. He was writing but it was in a new notebook. Had he already gone through the first one? “Thank you.” he said calmly and I nodded to him as I stood straight. I looked around the room a bit awkwardly, not knowing what to do now since conversation didn’t seem very likely with him being busy. But I didn’t want to just leave so I sat on his bed, placing my mug on his dresser after taking a sip from it. I busied myself on my phone, actually bothering to go through the list my friends and colleagues sent me of shows they thought I would like and recommended me to watch. The boredom had grown so great I was willing to laze around and watch tv all day just for something to do at this point. 

It took me longer to feel the monstrous eyes on me than I would like to admit but when I looked over to Wesker, sure enough he was staring at me. He was leaning back in his chair, seeming to be done with his writing. I had laid down on his bed at some point and still held my phone above my face. In the midst of our locked gazes, I stopped paying attention to it and my fingers slipped so my phone hurtled down to smack me in the face. Wesker laughed without malice and I joined in, sitting up as I rubbed my nose. I pocketed my phone as he returned to staring at me, something unreadable in his expression but it felt soft. 

“Would you like me to read aloud to you again?” he asked, his eyes never leaving mine even as I felt a soft blush creep onto my cheeks. I just nodded so he motioned to the books on his dresser for me to pick one. I finally broke our eye contact to lean over so I could see the book titles without having to get up. I selected a crime mystery novel that I knew he hadn’t touched, picking it up and offering it to him. He got up and stepped over to me, taking it to see what it was. His nose crinkled a little in disgust and he raised an unbelieving brow at me but said nothing. I laid back down and he sat at my feet before opening to the first page and began to read. I smiled to myself and listened to the story as told by his smooth voice. 

… … … 

As I turned the page I stole a quick glance at Wesker’s back as he cooked. I was going to cook for us tonight but he insisted on it, playfully claiming that I would burn it. So instead I sat on the countertop where he wasn’t using it and took over reading the novel he started about an hour or two ago. We were a few chapters in and it was actually quite good though we both took jabs at it where it faltered or strayed from correct law enforcement protocols. We had gotten lost in corrections over it a few times already and I felt another coming on as the detective was complaining about paperwork. The author had  _ no idea _ . The paperwork really was the worst part of the job so of course they glossed over it to focus more on the mystery or action. I think the media these days over glorified police work and it gave new recruits false expectations. I only worked on the police force for two years and even then we were more of a military unit than regular police and the military is where I spent my life. Even now the BSAA was growing to be more and more of a military organization which was fantastic, it gave us more authority and power to do what needed to be done to protect the world. But we faced that same problem, newbies came in expecting it to be all action packed battle and glory but it wasn’t. It was tough work on the mind as much as it was on the body and loaded with trauma. 

“I could swear I’ve heard those words before.” Wesker mused with a sly grin aimed at me. I snorted and rolled my eyes at his teasing. 

“Still hate all the paperwork but I’ve grown to appreciate the necessity of it.” I told him, lowering the book since I knew we were going to be taking a short break from reading to talk more. “On both sides of my job actually.” I continued, leaning back a little so the back of my head rested against the wall. The blond hummed in acknowledgment and I knew it was a sign to go on so I did. “It’s the best way to get information around a large organization instead of relaying it to everyone who needs it and the files can always be accessed later.” I sighed, thinking back on the long nights I used to spend in the archives going over everything we had found on Wesker so I could try to track him. “And if it wasn’t for all the records kept by the bad guys, we probably wouldn’t know as much about what they were doing so we could stop them.” Wesker didn’t respond to that like I thought he would, I figured he would make a snide comment about me learning or growing up or something but he was silent and had stilled in a worrisome way. “Wesker?” I questioned cautiously, my head lifting from its relaxed position. 

“It’s not of your concern.” he said though it wasn’t harsh like he didn’t mean it. Should I press it or leave him be? He went back to stirring something that didn’t need his attention. He was reaching for a distraction which was unlike him so I reached for him, leaning forward far enough to touch his shoulder that it would’ve been easier to get up but I didn’t want to do that. His red-orange eyes turned to me, only holding a fraction of the annoyance I was expecting to see. 

“Do it later, I’m enjoying our conversation.” I found myself saying the words he had once said to me though I wasn’t really sure what they meant in this context but he seemed to understand it. His eyes softened as they drifted from mine and he exhaled heavily. 

“I suppose it would do no harm to talk about it.” he stated before he turned around fully to face me, leaning back against the counter behind him with his arms folded. I smiled and slipped the folded piece of paper we’d been using as a bookmark into its place so I could set the book down without losing our spot. I waited for him to tell me what was on his mind, feeling as though this was a big accomplishment and maybe a good step in our relationship. I had opened up to him about wanting to retire and now he was going to open up to me about something. To a normal person that might seem like a normal development but to us, it was huge progress. “I don’t know nearly enough about Project W as I would like due to the records being destroyed in Racoon City. There wasn’t much in the mansion about it so most of what I know is straight from Spencer and-” he cut himself off and seemed surprised that he had almost spoken of something he hadn’t intended to. I was surprised too, it wasn’t like Wesker to slip up with anything but it made me happy because it was another sign that he was getting more comfortable with me. More progress. Of course I wanted to press for the answer of who else could have told him about the lost project and I was also curious to know more but it was obvious he wasn’t ready to tell me. He glared at the ground, probably thinking of ways he could get around my questions but I wouldn’t question it, not now at least. There was no way I was ruining all this progress because I knew it would take forever to get back. 

“We didn’t find much either.” I told him with a light shrug as if he hadn’t misspoken. “Just the basics of what the project was.” he studied me for a moment, trying to determine what I was up to by ignoring his falter. “So what brought Project W to mind?” I continued on to show him I wasn’t going to press him for an answer if he didn’t want to talk about it. 

“The letter you will receive tonight is about my childhood which I have only recently completed so with the mention of records, it came to mind.” he explained and I nodded, trying to read his expression but there wasn’t much to find. He was still looking at me but it wasn’t a look of gratitude for not making a fuss over his slip up nor was it of frustration for having done it at all. It was just dropped completely and we were back to normal like it never happened and I was okay with that. He would get around to telling me eventually. “Important records can be destroyed so easily.” 

“Well it’s harder now with new technology.” I corrected him and he scoffed at me though it wasn’t unkind. 

“You must forget I’m good with computers.” 

“So am I.” I countered his smirk but it didn’t go away. 

“Perhaps but I wouldn’t place you in the tech department anytime soon.” he told me with a snide sideways glance and I laughed. 

“I wouldn’t want it to take a position there anyway.” I pretended to shiver. “Being chained to a desk all day sounds terrible.” 

“Yes,” he hummed as he turned back around to resume cooking. “you are a man of action so the more idle and mundane areas of our work never did suit you.” I smiled more confidently at his words since he said them as praise. 

“Are you sure it’s all gone?” I asked softly and he sighed. 

“Yes. While Jill was in recovery, I spent all my time searching for anything remaining but there was nothing.” I nodded more to myself as I thought about why he could be so eager for the records on Project W. He already knew all he should need to about it, the main heads of who was behind it and how it led him to where and who he is now. So what was missing? Information on the other Wesker children, the lesser involved people he may still want dead, and everything about his personal life before Umbrella. That seemed the most likely reason. 

“Do you ever miss your parents?” it slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. I didn’t mean to, I really didn’t because I knew it was a stupid thing to ask but I couldn’t help it. He didn’t know them and he was cold enough not to care especially after all this time… but I was projecting a little. I was thinking of my own parents and how I wished I knew them more… how I missed them. Wesker shot me a look and laughed. 

“No. I don’t spare them any thought nor do I care to know who they were.” he spoke as if they were already dead and I guessed to him they might as well be, chances were he was right. “I simply want to know because I’m not content not knowing about my own life.” that made sense, being the control freak he was, it must drive him crazy that there’s stuff about even himself that he doesn’t know. “I also wanted to track down all the remaining subjects in the project.” he hesitated to continue but the conflicted air around him was tense and it was something I decided I couldn’t let go of. I needed to know his intentions. 

“What would you do to them?” my words were cautious but he didn’t react negatively to them. 

“I don’t know.” he admitted readily which took me by surprise. Usually any sort of admittance like that was considered weakness to him and would be hard to get from him. Yet he seemed okay with sharing it though his movements had slowed in thought. Did he want to kill them or did he want to save them? If you asked me that before this all started, I would tell you he would undoubtedly slaughter them all and there was no other option. But that was before I found out he carried my best friend’s broken body back to one of his bases, spent substantial time and effort saving her life, and brought her back to me for no other reason than he didn’t think she should be dead- or so he claimed… but it was getting harder not to believe him. “It’s pointless to speculate anyhow.” Wesker stated, coming out of his thoughts and finishing the side he had been working on only to move on to the next thing that needed his attention. “I’ve been assured that it’s been done already and none remain.” somehow that made me sad. I don’t know what happened to them but I’m sure they didn’t deserve it though if any of them were like Wesker used to be-  _ is _ \- like Wesker  _ is _ … then maybe it was for the best. 

I opened my mouth to say something but found I didn’t have anything to say to that. I knew whoever must have told him that was the same person Wesker had slipped up and nearly mentioned. It was nice to know that he felt safe enough to at least bring them up now that he knew I wasn’t going to try forcing him to answer who it was. I knew he would tell me when he thought it was the right time for it because he seemed to  _ want _ to tell me things. Otherwise we wouldn’t have had the conversations we already have and he definitely wouldn’t be writing me such revealing letters that he felt the need to destroy after I read them. This inner look he was giving to me was nearing on intimate… and I admit that I’ve been purposefully vague when asked about what’s in them as if they’re not important to anyone but us. Which was mostly true, the BSAA didn’t care about the personal events that took place in Wesker’s past like being strong armed into Jill’s party or attending a police officer’s funeral. I did tell them the relevant information but so far that really only included the first letter he gave me about Project W and I only mentioned the small bits of new information about it. I was content to keep the rest to myself and I’m sure Wesker was aware of that otherwise I’m not sure he would trust me with such personal information. 

I stumbled over my own thoughts. Trust. Wesker was trusting me not to share the personal details of what the letters contained- he hadn’t even asked if I was, he was just trusting that I wasn’t. I felt a familiar warmth spread through my chest and I couldn’t even try to fight it off because what else was I supposed to feel other than joy at this revelation? I knew from the beginning that this was a big deal but now it seemed astronomical. Wesker wasn’t just giving me secrets of his life, he was entrusting them to me alone. He’s been opening up to me since day one and I mistook it for… what? A ploy of some sort to misguide me? I almost felt stupid for doubting the integrity of his letters now when I thought back to the expression he wore when handing me the first one. Wesker was trusting me. I kind of wanted to pay it back somehow… I wanted to allow a kiss of gratitude since that’s what he wanted from me… and I wanted it too- but I reminded myself very sternly why I couldn’t do that. I would just have to figure out another way to tell him that I understood, that I was grateful, and that I would try harder at trusting him too but in all honesty… I think I already was. 

With nothing left to say, I started reading again until it was time to eat. Hopefully we would fall into some idle conversation, read a little more, maybe find something else to do, and burn last night’s letter together, before parting ways for bed. I would read ‘Childhood’ and hopefully get my second good night of rest here rather than have another nightmare. 

~ 

For as long as I could remember, Umbrella had been a part of my life in some way or another. As a child I was raised in a home funded by Umbrella and given the best education money could buy. I never knew my real parents though I had been told I inherited superior genetics from them especially where it concerned intelligence. I never learned what became of them and I can’t say I ever put much effort into finding out. Any information there would have been on who I really was before being assigned the name ‘Wesker’ or who my family could have been was lost in Racoon City, or so claimed by Spencer. I still don’t much care to know. Whoever they were, they’re most certainly dead by now even working under the assumption they were not slain by the Umbrella agents who originally kidnapped me as an infant. 

I moved through school grades easily and soon found myself in higher grades than my peers. I was a quiet and studious child, more interested in learning than in those around me. I was raised to believe I was better than the rest though I suspect even without that programming, I wouldn’t care for bothering with friends or the like. These things together made me appear as an easy target for bullies. I did nothing about it at first as it was only harmless teasing that I paid no mind to. Even being younger than the other children in my grade, I thought them childish and went about my business. Of course ignoring them only made it worse and it progressed to more harsh forms of bullying that I continued to brush aside. 

The first and only time became physical, it was just a shove. I didn’t fall or lose anything I had been carrying like I suspect they wanted but it was enough to get my attention. The group was four older boys and they were all lowlife scum and I felt a fury in me I had never felt before at their audacity to dare touch me. I’ve always enjoyed science in particular and very quickly found myself zeroed in on biology. The human anatomy was so interesting to me though I had no real intent at this point, I was simply fascinated and curious. Why I bring this up is to give context as to how I knew just what to do to break the boy’s arm in three spots. It was quick and relatively easy regardless that he was bigger than I was. I was small, fast, and had the element of surprise. I suppose this would be one of those ‘the quiet kid snaps’ moments but I couldn’t have been more calm when I retaliated. I was angry, yes, and I punished him for his act against me but I was also sending a lasting message to everyone else that I was to be left alone. 

Nothing ever came of my violent actions. I never did see that boy again and all others stayed clear of me as planned. I still wonder if no one told that it was I that did it, if it was decided I acted in self defense as all the teachers were aware I was picked on, or if Umbrella had something to do with keeping me out of legal trouble. It was after this incident that I truly began to view myself as superior and untouchable. I wanted to keep it that way so I convinced my caretakers to get me into martial arts classes and I trained in my free time to ensure if anything like that was to happen again, I would always have the upper hand. It was also when I decided I wanted to manipulate the human body to be better. It was far too easy to break that kid’s arm… I knew there had to be a way to enhance the physical form. So I studied harder. 

I tackled university with the same ease as the rest of my schooling, graduating with a doctorate in virology at seventeen. I was chosen to study at the Umbrella Executive Training Center. It was there I met William Birkin, he was two years younger than me and even more wrapped up in his work than I was. The two of us were rivals as the tops of our class and favored by our mentor, Dr. James Markus. William presented as even more of a ‘nerd’ than I did as I kept in shape and always had an intimidating air about me while he was scrawny and obviously didn’t tend to his own needs as well as he should. No one bothered me but Birkin had suffered all sorts of torment by others all his life and never stood up for himself. I once asked him why and he said it didn’t matter because he was more focused on his studies. This baffled me and led me into my interest in psychology, striving to find out how two people could endure similar circumstances but come out of it in such contrasting ways. 

The next time I found William being picked on, I put a stop to it. It wasn’t that I cared, I just found it distracting and I wanted a competent rival to study with. Even as rivals, we didn’t hate each other, rather we challenged one another and always tried to make sure we would be the one on top. I still thought myself superior to William but he was worthy in some way to challenge me without it needing punishment. Others had posed to threaten my standing in the school and had been met with consequences but not him. 

By the end of the year, the training school was going under due to scandals and poor cover ups. Seeing a chance to progress our careers, Birkin and I worked together and used Dr. Markus’s trust in us to successfully steal a sample of his completed T-virus strain. This secured us both positions in Umbrella’s Arklay laboratory as top researchers where we continued developing the T-virus using strains of Ebola.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop! Real progress! Maybe I don't need to compact things like I thought I might have to, maybe just rearrange a few things. Anyway I don't have much to say this time around so I'll just say adieu and see you all later.


	13. Day 10

“It’s truly startling how slack the educational system has become.” Wesker growled as he corrected something in the textbook resting on the table before him. I shrugged around my mouthful of cereal, swallowing before making my comment. 

“Not everyone is as smart as you.” I said and he rolled his eyes. 

“Possibly because the weak material they are being taught does not allow them to be.” 

“You went to a fancy school for geniuses.” I pointed out. “ _ Apologies _ if the rest of us  _ public school imbeciles _ can’t meet your standards.” I spoke with heavy sarcasm and he heaved an irritated sigh as he let the pen drop into the spine of the book. Ignoring my mockery, he continued on reading through it to me, explaining something when I didn’t get what it was going on about. I wasn’t sure what grade this was supposed to be aimed at though I guessed somewhere in the late high school or early college area. For the most part I kept up just fine but there was plenty I didn’t know. I continued eating as he taught me the bits I questioned, following along since he was sitting to my side rather than across from me and the textbook was angled so I could see as well. 

My attention slipped and my free hand idly grabbed for the pen, doodling on the edge of the page closest to me. Without straying from what he was reading, the blond smacked my hand to wordlessly chide me. I chuckled but didn’t stop, making more of a point to venture further into the page. He did seem annoyed by this but I saw the smirk on his lips saying he was willing to play along. He went to swat my hand away again but I moved just in time to flick a solid straight line across the page. Red orange eyes turned to me with a look that told me I was behaving like a child though he didn’t bother lecturing me and risk losing my wide smile. I raised an eyebrow at him in challenge and when he reached for my hand, I tried to move but he got his fingers around mine too quickly. I was startled by him holding my hand, having expected him to grab my wrist instead. He moved the pen back to the paper and began to write something. Not being one to back down, I struggled against his movements to write my own message. We fought for control though he never used his actual strength to get the upper hand, seeming content with the nonsensical scribbles we were making together. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to write or draw, I wasn’t sure what I was doing either but this was fun. 

I laughed and used my other hand to help myself get a little more power but he matched me, his free hand coming up to grab my arm though he didn’t do anything with it. I moved one hand to bat his away but it came back over our joined hands and he quickly managed to write the word ‘meat’ though it was barely legible. Curiosity almost had me allowing him to finish whatever he wanted to write but I wasn’t going to let him win, so with a little more force we scribbled a little longer until I could start to make out letters. Straining to see what he was doing probably was just enough of a distraction to let him finish and I could make out the word ‘head’ and I laughed. He was calling me a meathead. I doubled my efforts to control the pen now that I knew what I wanted to do. The pen had very sloppily navigated over to the second page and I was only just starting the word ‘douche’ when the paper finally ripped and we both stopped abusing it. 

We both laughed, completely oblivious to how our hands were still joined around the pen. As I settled down, I stared at Wesker. There were creases around his eyes and his shoulders shook even if it was very slight. He was being real. He really was having fun and I was happy I got to be a part of it. I continued to stare like I was entranced by this extremely rare sight. Until he caught my watchful gaze and pressed his lips into a line and cleared his throat. He finally released my hands to put his onto his lap. Suddenly aware of how obviously I was caught staring longingly at his smile, I looked away and took a deep content breath. There was a touch of heat in my face but I wasn’t as self conscious of it as I used to be. I felt this moment drawing to an end but I didn’t want it to and I definitely didn’t want it to be ruined by awkwardness. I wanted to hold this memory dear, I wanted to keep the fun going- I wanted to see that smile again. 

“So I have something I want to do with you but you have to swear not to laugh.” I told him strictly as I got up to get rid of my cereal that had gone forgotten. I would clean it up later but for now I just wanted it out of the way so we could keep this rolling. Wesker leaned back in his chair and watched me carefully as I power walked into my room, searching through my stuff for the stupid child’s toy set Claire thought was so hilarious. Now it was going to serve its purpose and I really hoped it would be something we could have fun with even if it was just to make fun of what we were doing. I hid the box behind my back as I exited my room to return to the table where Wesker was waiting for me with folded arms. “It wasn’t my choice, this was forced on me.” I told him so he wouldn’t think this was something I wanted to bring in with me. 

“I thought whatever Jill snuck into your room was something you desperately wanted to get rid of.” he questioned, seeming genuinely confused as to why I would be showing it to him. Heat rushed to my face and I wondered if he knew it was a sex toy or at least something similarly embarrassing. Did he even suspect the thing Jill gave me and my masturbating were related? 

“No!” I shouted with a pitch higher than I intended. Well if he didn’t know before, he did now and the smirk he wore confirmed it. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a breath to calm myself. “Well, yeah, but that’s… something else.” I said before opening my eyes with a light glare at him for bringing that up again when I was doing so well on not thinking about it. “This is something  _ Claire _ forced on me because she thought it was funny. It’s related to what we were just doing so I thought it might be fun to pull out.” god I was too aware of everything coming out of my mouth sounding like an innuendo now. 

“Wrestling over a pen to insult each other in a textbook?” he playfully jabbed and I did  _ not _ pout. 

“Wesker.” I sighed his name in complaint. I just wanted to give this stupid thing a dramatic entrance and play around with whatever it contained because I haven’t actually looked it over. “This is the  _ one time _ I’m making an effort to be comedically dramatic here, do you have to ruin it?” 

“Alright, alright.” he raised his hands in surrender before nodding to what I was hiding. “Do your dramatic reveal.” he told me but I rolled my eyes and simply placed the children’s chemistry set on the table dully. 

“You already ruined it.” I state blandly as I folded my arms with a huff. He stared at the box in front of him with raised brows for a moment before turning his eyes up to me with a disbelieving look. “We don’t have to, it was just a thought.” I rolled my eyes as I grabbed for it, having come to regret bringing it out in the first place. 

“No, no, it’s alright.” Wesker was quick to stop me by grabbing my hand and I noticed again that it was indeed my hand he laced his fingers around instead of my wrist or something else not as intimate. “It could be entertaining.” he offered with a smile that I pushed myself to return. I was still feeling embarrassed for presenting the child’s toy set after he looked at me like I must be joking and he was only humoring me to keep the peace. It was too late to back out now though so I sat back down and watched as he opened the box. 

… … … 

We were done with the set before we were even through all the listed experiments which Wesker had immediately tossed aside in disgust anyway. He led me through what we were doing, taking the time to explain each reaction as we mixed the different chemicals it provided. However, following Wesker’s direction, I ran around our apart… prison… to get whatever household items the blond said we would need to get better reactions or just to make our own experiments. I should have gotten more information about what he was doing than I did to make sure he wasn’t setting something up that he shouldn’t be… but it was a simple matter of him telling me what he needed. He was forthright about what to expect from each mixture, constantly talking me through what we were doing and I never even thought that he might be lying about any of it. Knowing what he was capable of he could probably make some sort of an explosive or something but I just wasn’t concerned about it. I felt irrationally safe here with him… and happy. I don’t know how long I’ve been wearing this ridiculous grin for but I didn’t mind it. 

“How many?” I called back over my shoulder though I already pulled down the whole stack of bowls from the cupboard and started to fill them with water. 

“How many layers do you want?” 

“Uh… how many colors did the box come with?” I asked, briefly hesitating in what I was doing. 

“Just the primary colors.” he answered and I shrugged. 

“We can make the secondary too, so six?” I looked over to see him nod so I filled six of the bowls with water and carried them to the table two at a time. I noticed Wesker pause to stare at what I had done with an eyebrow raised. “What?” 

“You realize we only need a small amount.” he reminded me and I just shrugged uncaringly. He wasn’t one to be wasteful but it was just water and some sugar so it wasn’t all that important. He let it go so we got to work mixing colors until we had six bowls of differently colored water. Then we quickly agreed on a color order and got to adding different amounts of sugar to each bowl, more in the colors we wanted on the bottom and less in the colors we wanted on the top. Next we took turns filling a syringe from the box with the colors to put them one by one into a tall clear vial until we had our own little rainbow pillar, the layers remaining separate due to the varying densities. 

“What’s next?” I asked eagerly when I was finished admiring what we had already done. He directed me around and I got back to it, anxious for our next project. Never in my life did I think I would ever have so much fun with a children’s toy and with my traitorous former captain of all people. But I was genuinely having a good time and from the small twitches of his lips when I caught him staring at me, I was sure Wesker was too- logic and reason be damned. To be honest I had been tuning out the blond’s lessons in favor of just doing the next thing so when he handed me something and told me to add it to the mix, I poured it in before he could tell me only to add a certain amount. 

“Chris!” he chided though he grabbed my arm and pulled me backward with him just in time to avoid being sprayed with the foam like substance that spewed from the beaker we had been working with. It was like a volcano eruption, it shot up and out from the top to pool around the table. I’d seen things like this before but not on this magnitude and I couldn’t help but to notice the slight sizzling sound I could hear over my heartbeat. I hadn’t actually believed I was in danger but Wesker’s reaction momentarily had me alert. I turned my head toward him and burst out laughing at the nearly guilty expression he wore. A moment later and I was surprised to hear him chuckling along with me. 

“That was fun! More dramatic than I was expecting at least.” I exclaimed as I turned back to the mess we made. 

“Yes well I aimed to make it more of a show for you.” he admitted and I smiled at him again, not minding that his hand was still around my arm. My heart thumped harder as he stared back at me intensely as his fingers slowly slid further down my arm to hold my wrist and stopped there. I held his eye contact for just a little longer before I had to force my gaze away. Just as I felt his grip loosening on my wrist, I adjusted to catch his hand before he could take it back. For a long minute neither of us moved but I could almost feel a warmth coming not from me… but from Wesker. I couldn’t look at him now to see what kind of expression he wore, fearing it may kill me. He was the one to break the silence by clearing his throat. “We need to clean this up now.” he said that but he made no move to do so nor did he let go of my hand. “Before it disintegrates the table.” he added and that snapped me out of my lovesick daze. 

“That stuff’s acidic?” I demanded though I too did not release our joined hands. 

“I…” Albert Wesker actually faltered with a shrug. “I may have gotten a touch carried away.” he admitted before giving me a sideways look and I laughed again. 

“And I was the idiot that poured in all of the contents to make it an explosion.” I pieced together and he nodded in agreement. 

“None of it got on you, did it?” I shook my head but his eyes glanced over my body anyway. 

“You?” he shook his head and I sighed. He broke the silence so I had to break our physical contact even if I didn’t want to. I took my hand back and told myself it wasn’t suddenly colder. “So how do we go about cleaning this up?” he guided me through the safe process of cleaning the acidic foam though it wasn’t all that bad. Wesker said it was only mild and would only do damage after long periods of exposure but it was better to use caution… of which he used none. He claimed it would do even less to him being superhuman and whatnot… I was really tempted to throw some at him and start a foam fight with the stuff but thought better of it. Even if it wasn’t actually very dangerous and we would take showers after this, it was better not to mess with it. We could make some normal foam stuff after this and start a fight with that. “Hey Wesker?” I called to him as I exited my room. I finished my shower first and had been waiting in my room for his water to turn off so I didn’t have to see anything that would get my imagination running wild… not that it wasn’t already. I tried not to think that he was taking a longer shower as some sort of invitation for me to see him naked but I was sure that’s exactly what he was doing. 

“Yes?” he asked as he joined me on the couch… without a shirt on. I set a boundary then I go and basically tell him it’s okay to push it by holding his hand. Damn it all. 

“Um… well…” 

“Just spit it out Chris.” he spoke with mild irritation in his voice though it did nothing to dampen the nice atmosphere around us. It was this comfortable feeling that gave me the strength needed to talk about this. 

“I’ve been wondering… if you knew what I was doing and all… what did you do about it?” I was blushing and turned away from him by the time I was done talking. He was quiet for a moment and I could feel his eyes studying me. I didn’t admit that I was very interested in his reaction to listening to me masturbate and if he was turned on by it… not directly. 

“Nothing.” that one word crashed into me harshly and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I turned to him sharply, I thought he was- he was grinning evilly at me. He was toying with me again. I punched his arm, upset that he caught my feelings about it but he didn’t react to it. “By the time I figured out what you were up to the first night, you were nearly done so I simply remained calm and went to bed. Although I admit I had trouble sleeping that night.” I blushed harder at that, remembering that he was actually tired the next morning. It wasn’t just from hearing me but he also continued to think about it all night and it kept him up. “The second night however was more of a challenge, I needed the aid of a cold shower to my calm body down.” my face got even hotter and I couldn’t look at him anymore. He was turned on by me- he got hard because of me and struggled to hide it enough that he needed to take a cold shower. 

“But you didn’t-” 

“No.” he cut me off though he wasn’t rude about it. I looked at him again with a pleading look I wasn’t fully aware of and he smirked at my expression. “Why?” he voiced the question I couldn’t ask but I nodded to admit I wanted to know. “I would have.” he told me with that sultry tone that made me want to melt into his touch. “But I’m not  _ that _ comfortable with the cameras.” my eyes widened at the reminder that we were being watched and I wondered who was monitoring us right now. God I really hoped it was Jill. I calmed down from my inner panic when I felt Wesker’s strong hand on my thigh. “Is it really so bad to be seen with me in a positive light?” he questioned with such a complicated look- I could identify some anger, some hurt, and something I could almost call longing. My world felt like it was tipping. I didn’t know I was implying that I didn’t want anyone to know I was okay with being here with him- though I didn’t because of what else it could imply with my BSAA standing. I didn’t know I cared about his feelings about it- but I did. 

“N-no! That’s not- I-” I didn’t know what to say. No, I didn’t think it was a bad thing to be on such good terms with him- I mean it carried a lot of personal issues because of our past but I think I’ve been working through them well enough. But yes, when it came down to it, I did think it was bad for others to see how comfortable I was with him. He was the world’s number one enemy and here I am being so open and friendly with him… and I enjoyed it… and I didn’t want anyone else to know about it. Even if we weren’t being watched, I would still set my personal boundaries but would I let more slide between us if I wasn’t worried about what the BSAA might do if they thought Wesker had manipulated me somehow? “It’s complicated.” I muttered, turning away from the blond man. His hand slid away from me and he sighed as he stood to walk into his room. 

“I know it is.” he sounded disappointed and I knew there was nothing I could say to make it better. The atmosphere was tense and sad, ruined. It wasn’t fair for him to say that- to put me on the spot like that. He couldn’t actually expect me to be okay with all this and showing it to my colleagues in the BSAA who wouldn’t understand. How could they when I didn’t even understand it? Was he just trying to make me feel bad? “Here.” I startled at the smooth voice that invaded my thinking, turning to find Wesker standing before me with a letter in his hand held out for me. I took it and opened my mouth, to say what, I wasn’t sure. “It’s alright.” he stopped me with a light shrug. “That was an unfair question. I understand the situation I have put you in and I expected far worse behavior from you but you’ve been rather pleasant. I have become comfortable in this arrangement and it’s not fair of me to want more out of it.” he didn’t wait for me to respond, instead he nodded to me before heading back to his room and I watched him lay in bed with his arms folded. That was certainly unexpected. I didn’t have anything to add to that but it gave me a lot to think about so I decided to turn in for the night as well. 

I read ‘Arklay’ and tried to sleep… but thoughts of Wesker getting hot and bothered over me kept invading my mind. The man I’ve been secretly attracted to for so many years just said he would have touched himself while thinking of me. So I ended up masturbating again. This time I welcomed the thoughts of Wesker and I didn’t even bother putting on any music to try to hide what I was doing. 

~~~ 

Our progress with the T-virus went rather well though in years' time, we were still held up by the amount of intelligence our BOWs were able to retain. We were constantly pressured for newer developments in our research. It was during 1988 that Spencer ordered the assassination of our old mentor so naturally William and myself attended to take whatever research he had accumulated in the ten years since we were in his charge. With the new information we had, the Tyrant Project came to fruition though it was stalled when we could only get the specific mutation we sought with a certain gene pattern found in one in ten million people. There was much work to be done in order to obtain a more genetically compatible strain of the virus. 

I spent much of my life in that laboratory working on viruses, drugs, and what have you and all with various species. I took a great deal of pride in my work and rarely got out though I did enjoy hiking through the forest when I had some downtime to be alone with my thoughts. Somewhere in my mind I knew it wouldn’t last. There was always more information to learn, more tests to run, more improvements to be made. Eventually I grew bored running the same tests and patterns day in and day out, it wasn’t enough anymore. I was growing more wary of Spencer’s motives by this point as a lot of what he did baffled me and it was growing to infest my mind. I shared these concerns with William but he didn’t share my views, claiming the man was just some snob demanding more and more from us and that it didn’t mean anything. He thought it was just best to continue our work and try to meet his expectations as best we could. But there was a tugging in my mind I couldn’t shake, a feeling that there was something more. 

Using a favor we were able to get from Spencer, we were given an intelligent BOW parasite engineered by Umbrella’s European Branch called Nemesis Alpha. That furthered research as the parasite could be inserted into a mutant to enhance the being’s intelligence so it could be given orders from trainers. Nemesis Alpha was injected into our most used and resistant test subject, Lisa Trevor, however her immune system bested it which led to the discovery of the Golgotha Virus. It proved to be useless for further bioweapon development yet William saw something in it… something Spencer approved of and funded. This action only deepened my suspicion of the man so when William transferred to NEST to continue work on the G-virus with Annette, I joined Umbrella’s intelligence bureau to better pursue the questions that followed me. Though separated, William and I were close enough to keep in contact and continue working together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was going to go into more depth with the chemistry stuff but got lazy so I skimmed it instead, my apologizes. Slower chapter, most of it just furthering the comfort between the two. Anyone pick up on Chris's steady slipping into calling Wesker's cell his room or the prison their place/apartment? That one's not fully accepted yet though I guess neither is the room thing, it's still something he catches himself thinking though he doesn't mind it.   
> I have a question for you guys. The whole thing with Chris being worried about what the BSAA would do with him if they found out about him and Wesker (believing Wesker to have basically brainwashed Chris and worry about him turning on them) was going to be something that came into play but it's drawing too many parallels to another (much larger) Chrisker fic I've had in the works for some time. (I've actually stolen a few STARS scenes or ideas from that one and laid out some references between the two fics *cough*likethebankrobberywhereChrisgetsshot*cough* that I can't wait for people to catch!) To prevent the fics from colliding and being too similar, I've decided to distance them. In this one, I'll be focusing more on the relationship between Chris and Wesker and pushing aside other aspects either hinted at or yet to be introduced in this one. In the other one, well there's some changes in how things were going to happen but it's not important to lay it all out here. Point is, the question, has anyone gotten involved with the whole BSAA watching them and possibly being suspicious of Chris thing or do you guys think it's just another excuse for Chris to use and it can start to go?   
> Thanks for all the love and support you guys have been sending me, I love talking to you guys and hope to hear from more of you! Arren, out!


	14. Day 11

When I woke up I didn’t feel like getting out of bed, I was comfortable and content, so I lingered. Without fully realizing it, I had accepted the situation in its entirety. Wesker surrendering, being stuck here, his attraction to me, my attraction to him. I still hadn’t fully accepted my feelings for Wesker, maybe that wasn’t right- I accepted them but I wasn’t ready to have them on display. With that in mind, I was rethinking the line I had drawn concerning physical contact with my old captain. I don’t think I’d be able to have sex with him and get over it when he betrayed me again. I wasn’t sure I’d forgive myself for letting him walk away from me again either, not that I would have a choice in that matter- if he wanted to go, he would. So maybe not all the way but maybe totally depriving both of us wasn’t necessary either. There was still the issue of the BSAA finding out I was… not exactly literally sleeping with the enemy. So maybe it was necessary… but did my standing with the BSAA mean more to me than Wesker? What the hell was that thought?! Of course it does! I helped build this organization and my entire life is in it and Wesker was an evil untrustworthy monster! Even… even if he has been so kind… and honest… and human lately. I knew it wouldn’t last. I was sure he would leave again once this month was over and he had whatever it was he wanted. He would have to start over after handing us everything he had but there’s no doubt that wouldn’t hold him back for long. 

There went my content feeling… at least I was still comfortable. I needed a distraction, hopefully Jill was awake. 

Chris: Have any more therapy sessions    
Jill: She says I’m too stiff    
Jill: She suggested that I leave work and spend time with friends to relax some more    
Chris: Good luck with that    
Jill: Yeah if only she knew my best friend was in prison with a dangerous man    
Chris: How much does she know about that    
Jill: Everything but the part about Wesker being in custody    
Chris: So basically nothing    
Jill: Basically    
Jill: But I only have to see her for the trauma over the fall and the whole being ‘worked on’ by Wesker thing so that’s all she knows about    
Chris: Worked on    
Chris: Is that what they’re calling it    
Chris: He saved your life    
Jill: I know that but I can’t exactly defend Albert Wesker to someone who has no idea about anything    
Jill: I want to get this mandatory therapy over with not spend the next year talking about our entire history 

I wanted to defend Wesker myself but it wouldn’t do to go off on Jill when she already knew that Wesker was… was what? Okay? Safe? What word could possibly describe what was going on? So I changed the subject. 

Chris: Have you worked out a new schedule yet    
Jill: Yeah    
Jill: I’m starting an afternoon shift and keeping to it    
Chris: Sounds good    
Jill: So if you and Wesker do anything keep it on my shift so I can look the other way 

I didn’t answer that, not tired enough that the implication didn’t process but too tired to focus on it. I wasn’t quite upset that she went there because I knew she was trying to be playful about my crush but I was insecure enough about my feelings that I wasn’t sure I was ready to joke about it. 

Jill: Sorry was that not okay    
Jill: I still don’t know how to respond to that whole thing    
Jill: Is joking about it allowed    
Chris: It’s fine    
Chris: I think there’s some truth behind what you said anyway    
Chris: There’s plenty that happens that could be seen wrong by someone else    
Jill: So you’re what going to start planning when he’s allowed to come onto you    
Chris: Jesus Jill    
Jill: Sorry this is just so weird    
Jill: I’m trying to understand I really am    
Chris: I get how crazy this is but it’s hard enough dealing with my own doubts    
Jill: I’ll stop    
Jill: Promise    
Chris: I just meant that I’ll try to be more conscious of who’s watching so I don’t risk getting into trouble    
Chris: I know how that sounds and I know you were joking and I’m already kicking my ass over the whole thing but I can’t help getting comfortable with him    
Chris: You don’t understand he’s not threatening me or anything not even subtly he’s been nothing but cooperative and even open with me about a lot of stuff    
Chris: I’m not naive enough to believe he’s actually changed at all but you know he’s at least serious about handing us everything he has once this is over    
Chris: I don’t know what he’s planning after this but he’s going to have to start all over and will probably be a wanted man even in his inner circles since he’s turning on everyone and if all he wants in return is for me to be nice especially while he’s being so nice I’m not going to put effort into keeping my guard up    
Chris: Something is different and there has to be a reason I know you feel it too 

I waited a few minutes for Jill to respond to my rant and when she didn’t, I decided to get out of bed since I was feeling nervous now. I went about my usual morning workout, thinking of asking if Wesker wanted to join me in this routine from now on, then I got into the shower. I heard my phone vibrate on the counter and hurried out to see what my best friend had said. 

Jill: You make a lot of good points and yes I do feel it too    
Jill: I don’t think you would get into trouble for any of this no one’s going to think Wesker’s like brainwashed you or anything    
Jill: It’s you we’re talking about    
Jill: You’re a founding member here and you’ve never given anyone a reason not to trust you and everyone knows your stance against corruption and bioweapons    
Jill: Honestly I think the higher ups were glad that he asked for you because it meant we had someone in there we can trust    
Jill: It might make plenty of people uncomfortable for varying reasons but no one would think you’d turn on us for Wesker    
Jill: Plus you’ll have me on your side if anyone does try to reprimand you 

I stood naked in my bathroom for a long while just staring at my phone. I knew what she had said was true… I’ve known all along. But having her say it… she unknowingly just crushed my last excuse not to allow myself closer to Wesker. It was so hard resisting his advances at times for the sake of my own feelings but those could be neglected in the heat of a moment. My standing with the BSAA- my life was something that I couldn’t ignore so I threw that on the line as well and it worked. But now… even if I tried to use that excuse, it would crumble thanks to Jill’s friendly reassurance. What do I do now? What do I tell myself to stop from giving my heart to an untrustworthy man? I could try to pretend that my heart wasn’t in it but who would I be fooling? I had to keep at least some distance from him so it wouldn’t hurt as badly when he inevitably left, I had to be able to say at least I tried. 

I jumped at the sudden knock on my door. Without thinking I nearly went to answer it before reminding myself to dress first though I only pulled on some sweats before leaving my bathroom to cross my bedroom to the door. Pulling it open, I watched red orange eyes slide over my exposed skin and turn red though they didn’t glow. For a moment I suspected he might be excited by the sight of me half naked but he looked highly irritated instead which confused me. 

“You’ve been out of the shower for some time now so I figured you may be ready.” his eyes roamed over me again and I noticed a faint glow that was still a little intimidating even though I knew he wouldn’t try anything. “It appears I was wrong.” he sounded almost angry which only served to confuse me even more. “Make yourself more presentable and I’ll have your breakfast ready.” even as he said that, he rolled his eyes like he was already regretting offering me food. Without waiting for my response, he turned his back to me and made for the kitchen. I looked over myself but didn’t see anything wrong with what I saw. It was normal for me to walk around shirtless when I was at home alone or sometimes while I trained on hot days. While this was the first time I’d done it here, it wasn’t like my torso was some sacred sight I wasn’t supposed to reveal. I thought he would like seeing me shirtless anyway so why was he acting like this? I admit I should’ve taken the time to put on a shirt since I’ve been pushing my own line with him enough lately and I was telling myself to stop. I hadn’t even thought about it… was I doing it subconsciously? Still, even if I should be mad at myself over this, why was he? 

I went back to my bathroom for the rest of my clothes and my phone before heading out of my room. I sat in my spot at the table where my food waited for me to start eating while the blond man went to clean up from the cooking. When he was done with that, he still sat on the couch with his notebook so while he wasn’t up for conversation, he at least wasn’t mad at me enough to stay in his room to avoid me. So after I ate and took the time to clean my dishes since Wesker had already cleaned the kitchen so I didn’t want to dirty it again, I joined him on the couch. I made sure not to seem like I was moving with caution but he didn’t act as though he was upset at all. Maybe I just imagined it. 

… … … 

It was only midday but my eyes were growing heavy out of boredom, having nothing better to do than scroll through the news with nothing important to tell. Wesker was sitting next to me on the couch working on a letter which meant conversation was out of the question. I thought about going into my room to watch tv but found that I was too comfortable out here to leave. I also thought about going into my room to take a nap but again, I was too comfortable and almost regretting choosing such a comfy couch. I turned my body so my back was leaning against the arm of the couch and I brought one knee up onto the cushions so I was slightly reclined. Bored of the news, I shot a text to Claire though I knew she was at work so I was about to text Jill again when Claire responded. 

Chris: What was that you were saying about living through you    
Claire: It happens to the best of us    
Chris: So fill me in    
Claire: Unfortunately not much to tell    
Claire: Maybe you were right about my life being boring    
Chris: As long as you’re happy with it    
Claire: Of course    
Claire: Making the best of it as usual    
Claire: Your life is more exciting than mine right now    
Chris: It’s really not we sit around and do nothing most of the time    
Chris: We were playing around with that chemistry set yesterday though    
Chris: That was fun    
Chris: Wesker ended up making some kind of acidic foam stuff and I exploded it everywhere. 

“Can you turn the vibration off if you’re just going to have that thing in your face anyway?” Wesker asked with mild irritation at my phone going off so much though he didn’t look up from his writing. I rolled my eyes but did as he asked, saying nothing so as not to bother him any more than I already did. I didn’t notice that I had slouched a little further down the couch. 

Claire: Wow    
Claire: See your life is far more exciting than mine    
Claire: I feel like this is a stupid question but everything’s fine right like you didn’t get hurt    
Chris: No it was very mild it wouldn’t do any damage and I don’t mean an actual explosion    
Claire: Okay so it was a dumb question    
Chris: Never hurts to check    
Chris: What are you up to anyway    
Claire: You really don’t wanna know    
Claire: Just a bunch of meetings and follow ups on some recent investigation into Tricell    
Chris: Are they doing something suspicious 

Tricell was a growing name in the pharmaceutical field lately but I didn’t know too much about the company. Not just the BSAA but other forms of the government looked into all such companies that dealt with biological and chemical fields and as far as I’m aware, there haven’t been any red flags with them. TerraSave seemed a little late to the party if this was just a routine verification since they’ve been around for years now so maybe they were up to something. Hard to know for sure and I tended to be more on the paranoid side with these things since I know first hand how well Umbrella cleaned up after themselves to remain hidden for as long as they did. They were a monster to finally take down. 

Claire: Not sure yet    
Claire: I’m not on the investigation team I just help in the aftermath    
Chris: I know Claire and I’m so proud of you for that    
Claire: Oh stop it you big sap    
Claire: I’m not doing as much as you are mr hero 

I hesitated at that, thinking of all the people I’ve lost but tried not to show it. 

Chris: I’m no hero    
Claire: You’re my hero 

That pulled a touched smile from me. 

Chris: Now who’s being the sap    
Claire: :P    
Chris: We have different roles but we’re fighting the same fight    
Chris: You really help people and all I do is kill    
Claire: You kill BOWs and bad guys that want to destroy the world    
Claire: Speaking of bad guys how’s mister tall blond and admittedly handsome 

I snickered to myself at that and my gaze momentarily shifted to Wesker though he was still writing away in his notebook. I knew I shouldn’t, I’ve been crossing my own line enough as it was and I wasn’t sure if he was still mad at me for… whatever he was mad at me for this morning. But I was really running out of the willpower to care so I used my foot to nudge Wesker’s leg to get his attention. Once he was looking at me and I was no longer at risk of messing up what he was doing, I wriggled my foot under his notebook until he lifted it. He watched with a curiously amused expression as I shifted further down the couch into a comfortably reclined position with my legs across his lap. With the smallest hint of a smile, he lowered his notebook onto my legs to use as a base to continue his writing on though his gaze sometimes drifted back to me here and there. I smiled to myself at my successful infiltration and went back to my conversation with Claire. 

Chris: I’ve just turned him into my leg rest    
Claire: He let you do that 

I chuckled and looked to my old captain and current nemesis to see him already watching me though he rolled his eyes at whatever I was doing and went back to his business. He still wasn’t moving me away so I wore a triumphant smile. 

Chris: He likes it    
Claire: This is all still so weird    
Chris: I’m actually getting pretty used to it    
Chris: Boredom is getting to me though    
Chris: I think I’m going to move my tv out here    
Claire: You don’t watch it in your room 

I almost dismissed the question or changed the subject but this was my little sister, I could be honest with her. 

Chris: I like being out here with Wesker    
Claire: Definitely weird    
Claire: But I’m not going to judge    
Claire: As long as you’re safe and happy 

My smile softened as I considered that. I didn’t even need to ask myself… I  _ was _ happy here, at least for now. I’m sure everyone else couldn’t wait for this month to be over but I was dreading it. When did that happen? There were a few different reasons, some reasonable like I was sure he was going to try to break out or something but I couldn’t deny that I just didn’t want to be away from him. At the core of all the reasons was the fear of Wesker leaving me and it was that fear that was holding me back from closing the last bit of distance between us. Would that fear ever leave me? No, I don’t think so… Wesker wouldn’t ever stop his plans indefinitely, we all knew this surrender was temporary. He would never stay with me and I would never go with him. We could never end up together. 

“That’s quite the conversation.” Wesker commented which actually startled me out of my concentration. Reflexively moving my phone out of his view was unnecessary since he still hadn’t looked my way, eyes still glued to his notebook. Though my suspicious action drew his inquisitive gaze since he had merely been commenting on how long I had been typing away on my phone. 

“Uh… yeah.” I said dumbly, preoccupied with reassuring myself that he didn’t know what the conversation was about. It wasn’t like we were talking about anything bad, just some small talk with my sister… even if it was about him. 

“Well now I’m curious.” Wesker told me with a predatory grin on his face as he forgot about his notebook. I shrugged and slid further down the couch until I was lying flat on my back so my thighs are over the other man’s lap. 

“I’m just talking to Claire, we’re both bored.” I answered as plainly as I could. 

“And what is it that you’re discussing?” he turned his body so he was facing me a bit more. 

“Just stuff.” I shrugged again. “Nothing special. Her work and what I’ve been up to in here. She’s making sure I’m safe and all that.” none of it was a lie and I seemed to pull off a casual enough tone to sell nothing further having been discussed because he seemed to lose interest. He relocated his notebook to my upper thighs and continued writing though I could catch his eyes on me from time to time. Great now he could watch me without disrupting his work at all. Still… he was closer to me like this and that spread warmth through my chest. 

Chris: As strange or terrible or whatever as it may be I am    
Claire: Then I’ll be happy for you    
Claire: But Chris just promise me you’ll keep in mind it won’t be like this forever    
Chris: About that    
Chris: Can we talk about something 

… … … 

There was a pulsing pressure on my hand accompanied by a gentle voice that barely reached my groggy brain. I groaned awake, moving one hand to rub at my eyes as I processed my surroundings. I was laying on my side on the couch in mine and Wesker’s shared living space. The man himself was sitting closer to me than I remembered with my legs still over his and surprisingly… my hand in his. I must have been looking at our joined hands oddly because Wesker gave me an amused expression. 

“You did it.” he told me matter of fact and I mentally shrugged it off because I believed him and in honesty I enjoyed it. I wasn’t much of a cuddler even when I was young but every now and again Claire, Jill, and various sexual partners I’ve had have told me that I grabbed for them in my sleep. It was usually something small, sometimes just a light touch to ensure constant contact. Jill thinks it’s a subconscious reassurance that I’m not alone and I believe that. Claire noticed it after we lost our parents and for a good while I wouldn’t let her away from me, not even while I was sleeping. I think that’s what started it, the desire to protect my sister so strong that I reached for her even in my sleep but that went two ways since it also told me that I wasn’t alone in my suffering and I still had her. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m afraid of being alone as I do fine and sleep fine on my own and everything but when there is someone else near me, I’m told I seek contact even if it’s just the back of my hand touching their arm. I think it got worse after the mansion incident. I continued to lose people and not just through death… Wesker’s betrayal left a deep gash on my abandoned heart, one I’m not sure will ever heal. But right now his hand was warm over mine like it’d been there for a while and he even absent mindedly rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. I smiled tiredly at him and squeezed his hand back before I stretched my free arm and let him keep the one he had a hold of. 

“What’s up?” I asked through a yawn, remembering his voice calling to wake me. 

“Jill has been trying to reach you.” he said with a nod to my phone resting near me on the coffee table. I reached for it with my free hand but couldn’t quite get it so Wesker released my other hand to make it easier for me to get to. I grabbed my phone to check my notifications while the blond resumed his reading from a book I didn’t think he had out here before I fell asleep as his hand now rubbed my leg. I had a new text from Claire and a few missed calls from Jill and wondered what was so important for her to keep calling me. I was about to call her back when her name silently popped up on my screen. I accepted the call as I twisted back to lay flat again, even scooting a bit closer to the blond man under my legs as I adjusted. We were close enough now that my butt was touching his thigh and he turned and leaned to me again though this time he placed his book on my stomach, using one hand to keep it open while the other rested on the back of the couch. Like this it was a little out of his way but I think he did that to intentionally avoid my groin though that gave him a window of access to it to stare at if he so chose. I tried not to think about that as I turned my attention to my phone call. 

“Hey, sorry Jill, my phone was on silent.” after turning the vibration off at Wesker’s request, I never turned it back on. I heard her sigh in frustration. “What’s going on?” I asked, worry creeping into my voice over her distress. 

“The day shift asshole is making homophobic remarks about you and Wesker.” she growled harshly into my ear and I almost sighed in relief that nothing was actually seriously wrong. I moved my phone away from my head for a moment to check the time, Jill should be on the cameras now so my guess is the last guy saw me asleep with our prisoner and holding his hand. I could imagine him making his comments on it to Jill and the fight she totally caused over it. 

“So?” I asked as casually as I could muster. I wasn’t one to care about stuff like that though it did bother me a little bit. I’ve heard it all in terms of rude slurs and I’ve stood up for whoever they were directed at whenever any sort of bullying happened in front of me… though I must say I’ve never had them directed at me. Wesker has been the only man I’ve ever had any romantic feelings for and only two other people knew about that and I only told them recently. But I was now also worrying about what might come if the guy rose a stink about it to others. 

“So he’s an asshole!” she exclaimed and I nodded my agreement. 

“What’d you do to him?” 

“I threatened to get his ass kicked off this case.” she said with a hard hmph. “If he was just going on about how it’s Wesker you’re getting up close and personal with, I wouldn’t have cared- might have even shared my own concerns with him. But the fucker actually seemed more affronted by the fact that you’re both guys than the fact that it’s Albert Fucking Wesker in there.” I smiled through her tirade and shook my head lovingly. This woman. 

“Well thanks for defending my honor.” I spoke sarcastically which got the other man to raise a questioning eyebrow at me. “ _ Our _ honor.” I corrected with a wink to him that got both his brows to raise in surprise. 

“By the way, tell Wesker thanks for finally getting you up, only took four calls.” my best friend grumbled and now Wesker smirked. 

“I didn’t wish to disturb the moment.” the blond man stated loud enough that Jill would be able to hear. Of course he could hear her, he had great hearing and she was practically shouting. I quickly set the call on speaker and placed my phone on my chest though I didn’t know what to do with my arms now since Wesker was taking up the rest of my torso. So I moved one hand under my head to lay on and cautiously placed the other on top of Wesker’s arm that held his book open. Thankfully he didn’t draw extra attention to what I had done so I wasn’t too embarrassed about it. But just because he didn’t doesn’t mean that someone else kept silent about it. 

“So where are you two now anyway?” Jill asked over the speaker on my phone and I tried not to blush at the implication in her tone. I squeezed my eyes and groaned at her though my nemesis seemed amused. 

“I’ve been wondering that myself.” Wesker teased, his gaze on me expectantly. The arm that rested under my head now came over my eyes as if I could hide from this. 

“We haven’t talked about it Jill.” I so kindly informed her and she was silent for a long moment though I heard her sigh at herself in realization of what she just did. 

“Sorry.” she stated sheepishly. “I thought you didn’t answer me before because you were talking to him and when I saw-” 

“I haven’t decided.” I cut her off before she could say more. Now I couldn’t help the heat in my face. I peeked under my arm to Wesker who was watching me with a very interested expression. “But I guess now I have to.” I groaned again and recovered my eyes. “Tell me more about the fight you picked.” I hurried to change the topic and luckily everyone allowed it as Jill continued into the specifics of what was said. Wesker didn’t seem bothered at all which wasn’t a surprise though Jill huffed and puffed about it. I didn’t blame her, if someone insulted her I would light a fire under their ass too. “Hey you don’t think he’ll…” I let the sentence hang in the air, hoping she would catch onto what I was talking about. 

“Even if he does I don’t think anything would come of it, like I said before.” she thankfully did catch it and reassured me. I guess with that, it would get around the BSAA that I was in some sort of gay relationship with Wesker whether it was true or not… does that mean I should fight the claim or embrace it? I felt more pressured to make a decision now that Wesker knew it was for certain on the table rather than just the subtle hints that I might have been debating it. I heaved a very heavy and long sigh as I spun it over in my mind. “I’ll let you know if he tries to start anything.” 

“Thanks.” I said as I grabbed my phone to hang up. I tapped Wesker’s hand with the one I had kept over his throughout our conversation. He took my meaning and moved his book off of me so I could swing my legs over the edge of the couch to sit up though which now put me sitting so close to the man that our thighs were pressed together. He gave me a long look before I carefully inched away from him, just far enough that we were no longer touching. He wore an expectant look on his features though I didn’t know exactly what he was waiting for. “Why were you mad at me this morning?” I asked as the first thing that came to mind as a distraction. His inhuman eyes widened a minuscule amount but I caught it before they narrowed. His brows furrowed as he thought it over for a second and I waited, crossing my arms and watching at him. 

“Do you recall what we were discussing last night?” he finally responded, seeming to decide to lay it out for me. 

“We talked about a lot-” 

“The last thing.” he cut in impatiently and my face heated up in realization. I had asked about how he reacted to my masturbating and he responded… very favorably. 

“Yes.” was all I muttered. 

“And what did you do last night?” his tone was accusatory now and I felt like I was shrinking. Suddenly we were back in his office in STARS and he was lecturing me over something stupid that I did. 

“What does that have to do with-” 

“What did I tell you about my current capability to pleasure myself?” then it all clicked. He wasn’t comfortable jerking off while being watched by the BSAA, very understandably, and I gave him something to listen to even though I knew he could do nothing to relieve the tension it would cause him. In my defense he had told me to do just that… though I knew he didn’t expect that I would ever actually do it. So he just had to listen to my exotic noises and suffer… it must have been torture. Then to add salt to the wound I showed off my body to him the very next time he saw me. Now I did feel guilty, truly I felt bad… but I couldn’t help but laugh. His glare hardened on me and I waved a hand at him dismissively. 

“Come on, it’s a little funny.” he let out a low groan that sounded more like a growl as he turned his body away from me so he faced straight again. “I’m sorry, I… won’t do it again.” I questioned, wondering if that’s what I was supposed to say. He looked me over for a moment and I tried to keep the blush off my face over what we were talking about but I’m sure I failed. I felt rather childish blushing like this all the time. I was a grown ass man who’s had plenty of sexual encounters yet somehow I still managed to turn into a burning mess when Wesker does or says anything provocative. What was I, some virgin teenager? Jesus Christ I needed to get a hold of myself. 

“So what are you going to do Chris?” he asked very seriously and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“What?” I asked dumbly and he leaned closer to me, confidently placing his hand on my cheek to tilt my head higher to look up into his narrowed eyes. I blushed harder at the stare he set on me, it wasn’t angry anymore… it was insinuating and needy. I always thought his stare would set me on fire but this wasn’t the context in which I thought it would happen yet here we were. My body heated up at a faster rate than I thought possible as his discolored eyes watched me. 

“If you’re sorry, what are you going to do to make it up to me?” his voice was so low it may have only been a whisper, I couldn’t tell the difference but my focus was solely on him so there was no way I would have missed it. My jaw clenched to keep from saying anything I might regret. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do about any of this yet. Since Jill crushed my last solid excuse to have this affair with Wesker I hadn’t allowed myself to think about it, worrying that lingering on it would just make it worse. I thought that if I didn’t think about it, I wouldn’t have to deal with it since the blond man had been backing off… when in reality it just left me unprepared for when he started again because I’ve been the one toeing at the boundary I myself set. Of course he would try again, I was showing hesitance and he was taking advantage of that. “Have you decided?” he was whispering now, closer to my face as he continued to lean. Suddenly Wesker’s face wasn’t as close and he was looking at me with a strangely worried expression. It was then that I realized my shaky hand was on Wesker’s chest to keep him at a distance. I stared at it with wide eyes, wondering when it had moved or when I had wanted it to. My heartbeat was in my ears and my fingers trembled slightly, my mind raced but surprisingly into a single direction. I wasn’t ready. “Chris?” 

“I…” my voice stammered and trailed off, my mind beginning to spin now. I wasn’t feeling the same forbidden longing as I had during other encounters of this nature with my old captain. The last reasonable excuse keeping me from him was gone and he knew it… all that was left was the fear of inevitable loss. He didn’t fully understand the question he had asked but the answer was no, I hadn’t decided yet if the pain of losing him would be worth the bliss of temporarily having him. 

“I don’t understand.” Wesker stated with the smallest tilt of his head as he continued to watch me not able to meet his eye. “From what I’ve gathered, you’re no longer worried about the BSAA knowing about us so why are you still resisting me?” 

“Us?” I asked, my eyes finally flicking up to his though I found no irritation there, only concern over my reaction. There’s always been a piece of me that’s been afraid of Wesker in one way or another. I feared disappointing him when he was my captain, I feared what I didn’t know about him when he betrayed me, I feared the reality of him being gone with I thought he was dead, I feared what he had become when I learned he was alive, I feared what he was doing to innocent people in the following years, I feared he would kill me in Spencer’s mansion, I feared he was truly gone after Jill’s sacrifice, I feared his motives when he surrendered, I still fear what he’ll do after this, but more than anything I fear him being absent from my life. I think being so close to him in such a peaceful environment has allowed my feelings for him to become completely unburied and now I couldn’t control them. I was afraid of these feelings because Albert Wesker was a monster and yet… I… I loved him. No more denying it, no more pretending I wasn’t sure of my feelings, no more avoiding the word. I love Albert Wesker even with all the horrible things he’s done, even as the monster he’d turned himself into, and even though he’s using me. I love him. I love him and he with all his genius brain didn’t have a clue. “There isn’t an us.” I shook my head. “I’m a respectable member of the largest anti bioterrorism agency and you’re the world’s number one bioterrorist. What ‘us’ could exist?” 

“None of that needs to matter in here.” he countered and I could see how that could be a valid argument since it was obvious we both wanted each other and I’ve come to the conclusion I could have him in here with little to no negative repercussions to my job. But he didn’t know the emotional repercussions it would have on me that would haunt me for the rest of my life. 

“It’s not something I can just turn off.” I shot back which was true because even if I could now admit that I loved him I also still hated so much of him and what he’s done. There wasn’t any forgiveness in my heart for him, I wasn’t willing to overlook the evil he’s done if he wasn’t willing to make amends for it. There was that small hope in me that truly wished that’s what his surrender was supposed to be the start of, redemption… though I knew it wasn’t. 

“Are you afraid of me?” the inhuman man asked, seeming genuinely surprised. I’ve never shown fear while facing off with him and I’ve always come after him with headstrong determination but he must know that of course I was afraid of him and what he was capable of. But that’s not what he was asking, anyone would be at least a little scared of him even if it was just of the raw power he possessed. 

“Of course I am.” I confessed without hesitation. 

“I told you I wouldn’t hurt you-” I shook my head to stop him. 

“I believe you.” I stood up with a sigh. “But this agreement won’t always stand and there are… other things I’m scared of concerning you.” that was all I was willing to say about it. “I’m going to bed, we’ll talk later.” without waiting for a response, I headed into my room and shut the door. I was still kind of groggy and wanted to crawl into bed though I knew Wesker would be around soon to give me tonight’s letter ‘Army’ so I sat up to wait. 

~~~ 

My experience in the army wasn’t exactly what you would call ‘standard’. As an ‘official ex-employee of Umbrella’ I was scouted for my skills to be used in their bioweapons projects… the ones that weren’t strictly legal. I was in a prime position to play the role of the spy since I was of course still with Umbrella’s information department in secret. I helped the U.S. Army with their illegal weapons under the guise of serving my country while also reporting any progress back to Umbrella. Nothing we worked on was noteworthy considering the leaps taken in later and more recent years, fairly tame chemical warfare that would have been staggered by political red tape was most of it. This was of course still during a time that BOWs and the likes were only in development under Umbrella. The world was so simple back then when toxic gases that only killed you, albeit in slow and unbearable ways, were the main worry for enemy attacks in terms of biowarfare. 

I could have done more during my service in the army, I could have developed something terrible for them as I had done for Umbrella many times. However I chose to focus on my training, really honing my skills with various weapons and further mastering the art of hand to hand combat. I learned first hand the ins and outs of combat strategy through sometimes bloody trial and error. I played with the lives of whoever was in my unit just to see what would happen. Naturally I learned swiftly and utilized my newfound skills and unique tactics well in the field. I was soon recognized for my excellent work and leadership skills and quickly rose through the ranks. 

At the pestering of William’s insistent letters to me, I had a sexual relationship with a Serbian woman whose name I don’t recall. It was during a rather dull assignment we had been given where we were stationed with a group of immigrants that had given us the intel on the mission details. Between William urging me to find a woman of my own and my unit’s teasing that one of the women had a thing for me, I gave in to silence them all. By the end of the assignment I had lost interest though it was made clear she thought she was in love with me. Her sobbing over me was an annoyance and my indifference furthered my reputation of being cold. She along with the rest of the group returned to Endonia and my unit remained in the U.S. so I never saw her again. 

I remained with the army for five years until Umbrella gave me the opportunity for a career change. Having tired of playing soldier in a field I wasn’t enjoying with no real action nor my preferred kind of experiments to run, I eagerly accepted. 

I was reassigned to an Umbrella funded special task force in Racoon City known as STARS. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to take a second to tell you guys how much I appreciate you. You don't have to read my fics or send me the love and best wishes you do, and you certainly don't have to talk to me... yet here we are. I really appreciate each and every one of you for being with me, this past year has actually been pretty good to me (despite the virus currently plaguing us) though it's not without challenge or hardship. I don't really have any friends or family to speak of in my life so being able to talk to people who love the same things I do has been a real boost for me. Plus, as much as the strokes to my ego have been going to my head, it's nice to be reminded that I'm good at something, something that I love doing very much and I'm very very happy that you love it too. I know everyone is struggling through these setbacks and I'm glad you decided to read and support my work during this and I can only hope I can somehow make things just that much more bearable for you. Thank you for being with me.   
> Moving on to a more casual tone, I want to credit usuhikari for Jill's explanation of the BSAA not caring if Chris was with Wesker. I hadn't quite thought of it so clearly because I can tend to overcomplicate things so thank you usuhikari for putting it in such a simple and easy to understand way when I couldn't. And credit misch3fbunni3 for the idea of Wesker being bitter over having to listen to Chris pleasure himself when he knew he couldn’t do anything about it. I hadn't thought of that and the suggestion absolutely hilarious!   
> I know Wesker's letter was so short in this one but there just wasn't much to say and I'm already going over a lot of mission planning and whatnot for another Chrisker story I've been working on first set in STARS so I didn't want to fabricate a mission for his unit to go on or anything. Plus I didn't want to have to make such temporary characters for just that use, call me lazy. So I'll be seeing you in the next chapter and be looking for some good news in the notes of that one. Later!


	15. Day 12

I had a migraine and the coffee wasn’t helping. I hadn’t slept much and Wesker’s concerned sideways glances weren’t helping either. I glared at him from time to time like this was his fault but really it was my own. I was stressing over what to do about the developing relationship between the two of us and I was still so conflicted over it all my mind was basically a warzone. I knew I was overthinking every little thing but I couldn’t help it, things involving Wesker were always complicated so a simple answer just couldn’t exist. For most of the day I tried to avoid Wesker, staying in my room most of the time though I did venture out here and there for no real reason other than to have something to do. 

“Are you still running from me?” Wesker regarded me with irritation and I sighed, setting my cup roughly down onto the countertop. This was the longest amount of time I’d spent out of my room at once, I was refilling my coffee for the fourth time and had to make a new pot so I couldn’t just refill and retreat as I had been since this morning. I’d busied myself with poking through the fridge and hoping Wesker would leave me alone a little longer but apparently I had no such luck. 

“I’m not running.” I answered curtly but that wasn’t the end of it. He looked up at me with a long stare, studying my expression and my body language. 

“Why are you pretending to be angry with me?” he asked with a blank look like he hadn’t just called me out on my bullshit. 

“I’m not pretending.” I sighed again as I ran a hand down my face and stared intently at the coffee pot, willing it to brew my beverage faster. 

“You’re sulking.” he stated matter of fact and I rolled my head towards him to give him an annoyed look. “Are you still overthinking having sex with me?” I turned away from him again, leaning on the counter with my elbows and planting my burning face into my hands. I held my breath to keep in a scream of frustration. How was this all so easy for him? Oh right, because he didn’t have the disadvantage of having love attached to the lust. Now I was actually mad at him, feeling like he was intentionally rubbing the fact in my face despite not knowing of my handicap. I reminded myself of my own right to remain silent and didn’t gift him with an answer. Luckily he didn’t press me for one. 

Have I decided? What did I want? I wanted Wesker. I wanted to hold onto him and not ever let him go. But I knew he would and knew I would be powerless to stop him from leaving me. I would be lying if I said I was winning the battle with caring. I knew I was beginning to lose when I started realizing how much I enjoyed his company, his touch, and getting more cuddly with him. We weren’t even halfway through the month yet and already I knew I was giving in more and more every day. Realistically, how much longer could I keep pretending I didn’t want my former captain more than anything? The last thing keeping me from accepting him was the fear of the pain he would leave me with again and it would probably hurt worse this time because I knew it would happen and still allowed it. But really… I was already hurting and I knew I would still hurt when he left. I knew that I was already in too deep to just say ‘told ya so’ when he left. I would hurt. I knew but I denied it, telling myself that it would be easier if I didn’t get too close but I already was close. It took Claire calling me out on it to get me to face that I had already accepted him and only continued to distance myself out of stubbornness. 

I sighed deeply to myself as I made my coffee and took it back to my room without being stopped by Wesker again. I sat in my armchair with the tv on though I couldn’t say what was playing, it was just there for background noise and maybe to let Wesker think I wasn’t in here brooding… he would know anyway. I sipped my coffee as I went over the conversation I had with Claire yesterday for maybe the fourth time. 

Claire: As long as you’re safe and happy    
Chris: As strange or terrible or whatever as it may be I am    
Claire: Then I’ll be happy for you    
Claire: But Chris just promise me you’ll keep in mind it won’t be like this forever    
Chris: About that    
Chris: Can we talk about something    
Claire: You don’t have to ask of course we can talk about anything    
Chris: I know this is just gonna be so weird    
Chris: Wesker’s been putting moves on me    
Claire: You’re kidding    
Claire: Well that’s great you’re getting what you want then right    
Chris: No my heart’s on the line here and his isn’t    
Claire: Oh I see what you mean now    
Chris: I don’t want to get closer to him when I know he’s gonna leave anyway    
Claire: You two played with a children’s mockery of something he’s very serious about    
Claire: You openly expressed that you’d rather spend your time with him than not    
Claire: You’re using him as a leg rest and he’s letting you    
Claire: Don’t you think you’re already close    
Chris: I guess but that’s all more of a tense friendship that I can live with    
Chris: He wants to cross the line into a relationship without the relationship    
Claire: I know it’s awkward but we’re both adults you can say sex    
Chris: You’re not allowed to know what that is    
Claire: I’m 27 Chris you’re a bit too late to save my pure mind    
Claire: Joking aside I’ve been on my phone too much and I need to get back to work    
Chris: I’ll leave you alone    
Claire: No keep talking I’m just letting you know that I won’t be responding as much 

There was about a ten minute gap. 

Claire: Seriously Chris I want to help    
Chris: I don’t just want sex I want a relationship    
Chris: But it’s Wesker    
Chris: That’s never gonna happen    
Chris: He’s gonna leave me again and I don’t want to get that close or it’s gonna hurt too much when he leaves and I go back to meaning nothing to him    
Claire: Believe me Chris you have never meant nothing to him    
Claire: I mean he came after me just to mess with you    
Claire: That’s not nothing    
Chris: It’s nothing good    
Chris: I just don’t want it to hurt so bad like it did last time    
Claire: Okay I’m gonna take a break so just give me a minute to say this    
Chris: Okay    
Claire: You’re already close to him you can’t help it being isolated with him and your feelings for him    
Claire: You already care and no matter what you do it’s going to hurt when he’s gone    
Claire: Even if you spent the rest of the month without saying another word to him or even looking at him, as soon as you’re separated it’s going to hurt    
Claire: Why not take the path that has at least some happiness in it    
Chris: If you knew what was gonna happen to Steve and you couldn’t stop it would you still go through it 

I remembered being all sorts of nervous when she took forever to reply to that. I didn’t know if I had hurt her, I didn’t mean to- I was being genuine, or if she was just busy doing work stuff. I had fidgeted enough that Wesker had to tell me to stop because it was interfering with his writing. I was so relieved when she answered though I still wasn’t sure if I hurt her feelings or not. 

Claire: Yes I would    
Claire: Even though he’s gone and it hurts I’m better for knowing him and having those feelings    
Claire: I had you and my friends to help me through my loss and I got through my grief to be a better person to live on for both of us    
Claire: Your situation is a lot different since Wesker will probably still be alive but it’s still a loss and you have people to help you through it this time instead of suffering alone    
Claire: Don’t hold yourself back from what your heart wants just because the future might be scary    
Claire: Follow your heart and we’ll all be here for you no matter what happens    
Chris: I love you Claire-Bear    
Claire: I love you too Big Puppy 

I hadn’t known what else to say because part of me agreed and was so thankful to have my feelings justified and accepted in some way but another part still wanted to argue that I shouldn’t have these feelings and should continue to fight it. I felt guilty for loving Wesker after all he did but as many have said before ‘the heart wants what the heart wants’. Maybe she was right and all my struggling was for nothing. Maybe I should just do what I wanted and deal with the consequences later. 

… … … 

Regardless of the late hour when I finally left my room again, it was to refill my coffee for what I told myself would be the last time. I knew I wasn’t going to be sleeping at all tonight again anyway so why not? My mind was still buzzing with conflict and questions but at least now I had a strong lean in one direction… I just wasn’t sure how to go about it. Maybe I would just continue to fight it until I couldn’t anymore just to spite Wesker and show him that he didn’t always get what he wanted… even if it was what I wanted too. Though time and time again I have been shown not to get what I wanted either. I wanted to be with Wesker back in STARS, never even confessed. I wanted to be in STARS for the rest of my life, it was destroyed only two years after being formed. I wanted all of my friends to get out of the mansion alive, only some of us survived. I wanted Claire to live a normal and happy life, she got sucked into the mess in Racoon City because I didn’t tell her what was going on. I wanted to eradicate bioterrorism from the face of the Earth, there’s a new world threatening crisis at every turn. As much as I loved the BSAA, I was sad that it was necessary to exist. 

There was a little voice in the back of my mind reminding me of all the things I did get. I wanted Claire to be strong enough to take care of herself when I wasn’t there to help her, my training got her through Racoon City and other outbreaks safely. I wanted the position in STARS regardless of my superior officer’s warning that I couldn’t follow orders, Wesker gave me the chance to prove myself and I did. I wanted Wesker to be alive somehow after I watched him die, he injected himself with some unknown virus that brought him back. I wanted to bring down Umbrella and with the dedication and skills of everyone that was a part of that effort, we did, even Wesker had been working towards that goal in the shadows. When Jill sacrificed herself for me I wanted both of them to be alive and okay… Wesker saved her life and brought her and himself back to me. I wanted to be with Wesker now and he was offering himself to me. Even if his heart wasn’t in it, I knew it still meant something that he picked me because there was no way a man like him would give himself to just anyone. Even if he didn’t love me… it still meant something to him-  _ I _ meant something to him. 

“Haven’t you had enough?” I jumped in surprise at the sudden voice behind me, nearly dropping the creamer as I poured some into my coffee. 

“I didn’t hear you come out of your room.” I grumbled more to myself as he approached to lean his hip casually on the counter next to me and fold his arms. 

“I called your name but you didn’t respond.” he told me as his eyes studied my tired features. 

“Oh… I guess I’m a bit distracted.” I rubbed at my face with a sigh and finished making my coffee. 

“Perhaps we should discuss it so you stop torturing yourself with stress over the situation.” Wesker too heaved a sigh of defeat. “Despite what you may think, I do not wish to play any sort of mental game with you this time.” he admitted and I looked to him with indifference. His saying so didn’t make me feel any more at ease, he could be lying and this was just another move in his sick game. “Not all of my actions have complicated objectives. I’m not often a man prone to whimsical decisions but it does occasionally happen.” 

“So you decided you wanted me on a whim?” I asked though I knew it wasn’t true. 

“Well, no, it was something I put a lot of thought into actually.” if I didn’t know the blond better I’d say he was feeling a little insecure right now. He didn’t fidget or blush but it was in the way he spoke, not as refined and maybe just a tiny bit rushed. 

“Then why can’t I overthink how much thought you put into it?” I asked calmly as I sipped my coffee and he looked at me with irritation. 

“It’s unproductive.” 

“So is your flirting.” I said it before I thought about it and hated myself when my words gave Wesker pause. I didn’t mean to say it, I didn’t want to say it- it wasn’t even true. His flirting was a little  _ counter _ productive because while it did urge me closer to him, it also repelled me but it wasn’t doing nothing. He had to know that… but still, I said it, even if I wasn’t mean with the delivery. 

“I’ll back off if you really want me to.” he promised with a serious expression that I had to turn away from. I didn’t want him to, I’d at least decided that much. I liked the attention he gave me and I liked the touches, I didn’t want them to stop. It’s only when he wanted to take things further that I grew fearful and after thinking about it more, I think I found another big reason I was nervous about the idea. 

“Caffeine blocks a neurotransmitter, uh, it tells your brain you’re tired.” I said as I looked to Wesker for the name of what I was talking about. He gave me an amused expression and I couldn’t tell if he was glad that I changed the subject rather than tell him to leave me alone or if he was proud of me for talking science to him. Either way, he readily supplied the answer I waited on. 

“Adenosine.” 

“Right.” I nodded in approval with a snap of my fingers before pointing at him. “While it’s out your body makes more dopamine which in turn makes you more focused and happier or whatever. Now I figure with all my overthinking and stress, I’m gonna be up probably all night again. So if I’m not going to be sleeping anyway, I don’t care if my adenosine is blocked.” I stopped to take a drink of my coffee for emphasis. “And I could use more dopamine to focus on my overthinking and a little sprinkle of good feelings to combat my stress.” I smiled in mock cheer to showcase how effective my plan has been thus far. Wesker was smiling now and I couldn’t help but chuckle at both of us. Me for being ridiculous and him for looking at me so sweetly in my ridiculousness. 

“That’s a good theory. Seeing as you’ve been testing it all day, what are the results?” he playfully questioned and I sighed as I stared into the brown liquid in my cup. 

“Not as productive as I hoped.” 

“I’m reminded at times such as this that you are rather smart.” Wesker chuckled with a shake of his head. At first I rolled my eyes at the implication that he usually viewed me as some kind of idiot. Then I fully digested what he had said and stared at him in awe. Not thinking anything of his comment, the blond gave me an odd look when he noticed my pause. Coming from him, that was saying something. I mean we both knew he would never place me anywhere near his level of intelligence and I took no offense from that because the man was a straight up genius. But for him to acknowledge in someone else- in  _ me _ , a quality he highly valued… it meant a lot. 

“Thank you.” I gave him a soft smile. “That’s a great compliment coming from you.” still not seeing the importance of it, he shrugged. 

“I’ve given you far better compliments.” he stated softly like he wasn’t sure if he wanted me to hear it or not. I continued to stare at him over the rim of my mug so he met my eye. Since I did hear it, he was facing my reaction. 

“Like what?” I asked, trying to push down the giddy feeling crawling from my chest. 

“It’s…” his eyes strayed from mine and he frowned, moving to grab a water bottle from the fridge more for something to do than actually wanting it. “I don’t think you want to hear it.” he finished his thought with a disappointed tone. He didn’t look at me as he uncapped the bottle and drank down about a third of its contents and I was glad for that because I was blushing, knowing it must venture into flirtatious territory if he felt he wasn’t allowed to bring it up. But… I did want to hear it. I wanted to know what he thought about me and my body wanted to know what he thought of it. I slowly set my mug down and stood right next to him, carefully placing my hand over his on the countertop just as he was setting down his water bottle. 

“Maybe I do.” I whispered as I gazed into his fiery eyes, watching closely at the way his head tilted slightly to the side as he contemplated me. His eyes drifted around my face, taking in the heat in my cheeks before moving down to the hand purposefully placed on top of his. He could probably hear my heart beating fast though I tried to keep it under control. His inhuman eyes returned to meet mine and he was studying me like I was a puzzle he was seeing a new piece of. I knew I was sending mixed signals again but I was the one starting something so it’s fine. There was something about the way he was looking at me that I liked and I was fine with admitting it. It wasn’t angry or calculating or even lustful, it was just warm. 

“Admitting you have always been my favorite isn’t enough?” he whispered back and his breath was closer to me than it had been a moment ago. I shook my head to even my own surprise. 

“I was your favorite ‘little piggy’, so what?” I shrugged one shoulder light heartedly with a grin and he chuckled. 

“No.” he corrected with a serious but warm look and I noticed the way his eyes flickered lower to my lips for just a second. “You are my favorite. STARS team member, BSAA enemy, human being, ‘little piggy’- it doesn’t matter.” his hand subtly turned over under mine to intertwine our fingers and my breath caught in my throat. “You are my favorite.” that… wasn’t at all what I ever expected. I was his favorite… when he put it so clearly with all the implications intact… I was his favorite person on the whole planet regardless of what our existing or current relationship was, is, or ever will be. My entire chest ached with longing and hope. Did he know what he was doing to me? Did he even realize what he was implying- moreover, did he mean it? Did he actually have genuine feelings for me? 

Without thinking and without knowing what I was doing, I closed the gap between us to kiss him. He accepted my lips warmly and with my free hand on his chest I could feel the flutter of his next inhale and the strong beating of his heart. His other hand moved to settle on my waist as mine now slid up his body to rest at the back of his neck, subtly pressing him closer to me. His lips worked against mine, soft and innocently. There wasn’t a need for dominance or heat, this kiss served to establish something deeper that I knew I couldn’t take back… and I didn’t want to. I wanted Wesker but I wanted him in so many more ways than just sexually. The tenderness he put into this kiss… it almost seemed to suggest he wanted more with me too. 

The kiss didn’t intensify nor did it end abruptly, we simply parted as the kiss ended naturally. My eyes fluttered open hazily to see Wesker’s orange eyes already staring down at me kindly. He took a long breath and smiled so warmly at me. 

“Chris.” he whispered soothingly to me with such a fond tone that I felt my heart stop. That was by far the best kiss I’ve ever had and as far as first kisses went I’m pretty sure it was something out of a romance novel. Was it real or was I dreaming… or dead? One thing I was sure of… was that it was too good to be true. 

“I… I’m gonna go to bed.” I muttered back to him in a whisper, not meeting his eye anymore. Even as I spoke my hand tightened around the neckline of his shirt because I didn’t want to go- I didn’t want this to end. Wesker sighed and rested his forehead against mine. 

“You said you weren’t running from me anymore Christopher.” he reminded me with disappointment and irritation… and maybe even some sadness evident in his voice. I couldn’t help but close my eyes and enjoy this closeness while it lasted because of course it wouldn’t. He would either turn this into sex or he would leave… he would eventually lose interest either way. 

“I’m not, really I’m not.” I told him as I opened my eyes to look at him just as he did the same thing though he wore a skeptical expression, obviously not convinced. “I have decided but I don’t want to just jump into this.” Wesker smirked but said nothing so I continued with a slightly embarrassed sigh. “The truth is I’ve never actually been with another man and considering I’m starting with you of all people, I just need a little time to adjust to this new… arrangement.” 

“Not one?” the blond asked in surprise and I shook my head against his. “How many women have you bedded?” I blushed harder but didn’t pull away from him. 

“Plenty.” I said a bit more defensively than I meant to. 

“But no men?” 

“No. I just didn’t find the right guy I guess.” I closed my eyes again when he started smirking that smug and superior taunt that I hated. 

“Why Chris, are you implying I’m ‘the right guy’?” his tone wasn’t as condescending as I was expecting, he was just teasing me. I still felt my face get another degree hotter and finally moved my face away from his only to rest my forehead to his shoulder instead. 

“There’s just a lot of history which is another thing I’m sorta struggling with.” as I spoke he took his hand from mine to snake both around my back and tug me that little bit closer so our bodies were touching comfortably. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his neck, one arm hanging more to the side to leave room for my head. Wesker was actually embracing me in such a soft way I had only ever imagined and I was returning the gesture. I sighed in content though my heart had signed up for a race and I thought I felt another contender though it was hard to tell the pace of Wesker’s heart over the thump of my own. He gave me a questioning hum that I understood as inquisitive. “You were my boss- a man I deeply respected and looked up to. You betrayed me, killed my friends, threatened my sister, and turned yourself into the very thing I want to destroy.” I felt him nod slightly along with me. “You became the world’s most wanted and I became the main man seeking to bring you down yet here I am playing out a friends to enemies to lovers story with you.” we both chuckled at the last bit before Wesker readjusted so his head was resting over mine. We stayed like that for a long moment until he shifted again so his mouth was near my ear. 

“You weren’t the only one conflicted.” he whispered to me like it was a secret. My brows furrowed in confusion and though I didn’t want to ruin the moment, I pulled my head up to look directly at Wesker. His eyes followed mine as I searched him for the meaning of what he said. He was conflicted about being with me? But he seemed so sure of himself with even this stuff. Before I could ask, he moved one hand from my waist to gently cup my cheek. He moved slowly so I would have plenty of time to move away if I didn’t want it but I did so I stayed still while he pressed his lips to mine again. It was lighter and shorter than the previous kiss we shared but it still set the butterflies in my stomach to full flutter. “Goodnight Chris.” he said before letting me go and stepping away from me completely so we were no longer touching at all but he didn’t leave. I knew what he was doing. He was giving me the chance to leave while also keeping himself available in case I changed my mind and decided to stay. I appreciated it but at the same time it would be easier if he would walk away first. I wanted to stay, I wanted to close the distance between us again and hold him, I wanted his arms around me in that comfortable embrace, and I wanted his lips on mine. 

“Goodnight Wesker.” and I walked away with the remainder of my coffee. Back to my room where I pretended to be calm like nothing had significantly changed… but it had. I set a strict line and I crossed it and now I couldn’t go back over to the other safer side. I officially gave Albert Wesker my heart and I’m not sure he even understood that. I knew this would shred me to pieces too small to identify later but for now, I was okay with dealing with the consequences. I was happy even if I knew it wouldn’t last. 

Just as I was settling into bed with Wesker’s newest note ‘STARS’ I received a text from my best friend. 

Jill: I’ll be right here for you whatever happens 

I knew she had seen the kiss and knew what I decided. I was filled with relief and gratitude that she was giving me her full support even though I already knew she would. She and Claire truly were the best things to ever exist in my life. 

Chris: Thank you 

~~~ 

Due to their growing scale, Umbrella’s higher ups needed a way of managing their less notorious schemes. With more employees, facilities, and collaborations… well not all of their unsavory business could remain such a tight secret. So Umbrella funded a police unit built to be the company’s fixers, their own private army to clean up whatever messes slipped through the cracks or threatened to expose them. I was assigned to this elite task force, insisting on holding a position of power both for my own personal deserving and to better handle any underhanded deeds needed for coverups. My record between my two existing careers more than allowed it so I was titled captain of the first of two teams and given superiority over the other captain. I was allowed to handpick each member of my team to ensure I had the very best- and pick I did. I aimed for a variety of skill sets and personalities, each a master in their own fields of expertise, and I personally oversaw their continued training. 

I was the captain of the STARS Alpha team centered in the Racoon City Police Department. Truth be told I was rather thrilled. I was practically running my own military unit, allowed to do anything with both the slimy chief of police and the whole of Umbrella Corporation at my back. The possibilities were endless. 

As predicted, the team grew together seamlessly and each member was more skilled both individually and as a unit with each passing mission. It was something of a wonder to watch them all grow to call one another family after becoming so close. Frankly I was a bit surprised no one ever suspected me of any suspicious actions as there were a few close coverups, though I played my role as their captain very well, they all had such faith in me. I suppose that was because I was genuine in my position. I always knew I would eventually play a role in their demise though there was no way to determine the when, where, how, or why. Regardless, I did want what was best for them. I wanted them to reach their full potential, I even put my own life on the line for them on multiple occasions. If it was their fate to die- even by my hand to serve my own agenda then so be it but until that time, they were my team and under my protection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I want to apologize for a few things.   
> First, this chapter feels very lazy to me- it was hard to get through (though I've had the ending of it written forever so that only needed some editing) and it wanted to go in a VERY different direction... I was going to keep t but it threw the pace of things so unfortunately I had to relocate most of what I had written. It wasn't scrapped though so don't fret, you'll see it in all its glory.   
> Second, Wesker's letter was DEFINITELY lazy- honestly I go into a lot of depth about how he put together STARS and his thoughts on it and whatnot in another Chrisker fic I've been working on (I do believe I've mentioned it before) so I didn't want to basically rewrite what I already had. I thought about taking it in a different direction but ultimately just cut it short. I think there's going to be one, maybe two, more timeline letters then we'll get back into the more... I don't know, story ones? I don't know what to call them.   
> And third, I feel like it's been forever since I've posted and I know a lot of you are telling me not to worry about it and that you can wait for a good chapter but that's not what gives me anxiety. Like I love you guys and yeah, I do aim to please, but if a chapter takes a while to come out then it does and anyone trying to rush me would get nothing but a snarky comment from me. What gives me anxiety is that I NEED to write especially in times that I feel like I don't have much control over what's happening in my life, it's like my lifeline so if I feel like I'm losing my grip on it I fall into depression and panic. I'm in such a situation right now where my life is dominated between college and work and I have to make time for my kids which means I don't have much or any time for anything else. What time I do have lately as been spent lazing around in bed doing nothing which I hate because I don't like feeling unproductive. If there's nothing I need to do, okay, I can be lazy. But there's tons I need to do so I can't just sit around so I hate that I have been. I had a cousin tell me it's because I'm pulling myself too thin and I know I am but I need to stay busy to stay sane... realitively. I will cut myself a little slack and say that I haven't been working as much on this not only because I haven't had time but also because I've been working on other things so I won't apologize for that. Maybe I'll even start posting those once I get at least a few chapters ahead.   
> Anyway I think there was a point to this but it derailed and turned into a rant... and I'll apologize for that too. A point I will now make however is that I appreciate everyone's positivity and encouragement, I feel I really don't deserve it but you guys are fantastic. I love talking to you guys about whatever but stop telling me it's okay to relax because I don't know what that is and I refuse to learn!   
> Joking aside, writing is more to me than a lifeline that's literally saved my life on multiple occasions, it's... I have no words for what it is to me, that's how important it is. I'm really very happy I get to share it with you and that you enjoy it. If writing is my life, you validate it. Being a dad, even though it's hard doing it all on my own, keeps me alive. I won't go into my tragic life story, it's pathetic really, but writing has always saved me from my lowest and elevated me further at my highest. Reaching even one person with my work, gives me hope that I can be- that I am, more than what I was told I'm worth. It may seem small but it's the small things that matter. You give meaning to the force that drives me when I'm not sure I can keep going. And I want to thank you for that. Thank you for supporting me. In the high times and the low times, even when you don't realize how much you do, thank you for being with me.


	16. Day 13

Saying I actually slept well was foreign but very welcomed. There had only been two other days here so far that I could say I was well rested and this made three. Maybe we should celebrate. I was feeling good, energized, and lighter than ever. Hiding my feelings for Wesker was a burden all over that was gone now. While I was sure… at least I hoped he didn’t know I actually loved him, others knew and supported me, even if it was a bit reluctant, and that made me feel better. I didn’t feel the need to hide my attraction for Wesker from him or anyone and I felt more confident about interacting with him. And… I was okay with allowing more to happen between us. Not sex… not yet… maybe never… but more than nothing. I was content just to see where this went. As Claire said, it was going to hurt either way so why not enjoy my time with him? It felt a bit morbid but that was our story in a nutshell, wasn’t it? 

I had skipped my routine yesterday since I had been so distraught but I planned to invite Wesker to join me again… just for the workout part of it… obviously. I made my way to his room and took in his form on the bed from his open door. I noticed that he never bothered shutting his door unless he didn’t want my company which hadn’t happened too often. He wasn’t asleep but he was shirtless in bed with the blanket pulled over part of his body. I stopped in his doorway, crossed my arms as I leaned against the frame, and took in all of him that I could. I wondered about his sleeping patterns, sure that he didn’t need to sleep as much as a human like me yet he still seemed to follow the ritual of going to bed. Maybe it was just something he did here because there wasn’t much else to do. I really should get my tv moved out to the living room. 

Deciding I had enough time to admire his body, Wesker motioned me closer with his finger and I complied. My arms fell to my sides as I stepped up to his bed, watching as he raised himself up on his elbows almost expectantly and I didn’t make him wait. I bent down to kiss him even though I knew Jill wasn’t the one monitoring us anymore because I didn’t care. I placed a hand on his bed as I lowered myself to sit next to him without breaking the light kiss though it didn’t last much longer. Wesker was smiling at me and I returned it warmly. 

“Good morning to you as well.” he stated and my smile brightened. “I assume you slept well.” I only nodded and continued to stare into his orange eyes. I’d noticed before how they seemed to change color slightly depending on his mood. It was subtle and you had to really be looking and know him to tell but I did. They seemed to be a red-orange normally so I guessed that was the default, when he was angry or agitated they were more of a red, when he was happy or content they were more of an orange. I wasn’t sure which category lust fell under with him because there have been moments that it made his eyes red and there have been times they were orange. I didn’t understand the difference in the situations yet but I was eager to learn. I also had a theory that his eyes glowed when his emotion was more extreme. I’ve seen them glow red but I haven’t seen them glow orange though I hoped one day I would if my theory was correct. I leaned forward to capture his lips again. “My, you must have had good dreams too.” the blond stated with a smirk and I chuckled. 

“I was just thinking about you.” I teased him and he raised a brow at me. 

“What about me?” he asked as he laid back down, his hand rubbing my arm as the other moved under his head for support. I knew he was putting himself on display to entice me and it was working. I wanted to keep kissing him, I wanted to run my hands across his body, I wanted to taste his skin… but thinking of what that would lead to made me nervous. Given who Wesker was and how much of a control freak he was, I knew when- if we had sex I would be the one being penetrated and that was a scary thought. So I refrained from starting something I couldn’t finish. I did however move my arm from the mattress to his stomach, my fingers tracing along his defined ab muscles. I pretended the movement was natural and didn’t send my heart into a frenzy but I was sure he could hear its hard beat. 

“Have… you ever been with a man before?” I asked hesitantly and his smile faded into something more subdued like he was thinking over where the conversation would go and what I was seeking from it. 

“No.” he answered plainly and my eyebrows came together in confusion as I cocked my head to the side. 

“Then why were you so shocked I haven’t?” there was a little accusation in my voice because he had made such a big deal of me not having slept with a man yet he hadn’t either. 

“You’ve been attracted to me since our days in STARS and for all I know you could have been attracted to men even before then. With society’s closed minded view on homosexuality at the time, it would be understandable why you wouldn’t have taken a male partner. The same explanation could be said of why you never attempted anything with me during that time as I was a man and your boss. There was no way for you to know how I would have reacted to your sexuality or advancements, it would have been well within my capability to fire you or worse.” he explained before he took my hand and trailed it higher up to his chest. His… his heart was beating faster than it normally did and it made my chest flutter. “However society has evolved so you no longer stand to lose anything for coming out and you don’t seem to care for others' opinions concerning the matter. It stood to reason that I haven’t been the only man you’ve had an attraction to during all these years so I saw no reason to believe you hadn’t acted on any sexual desires for another man.” he finished and I followed along his thought process, it made sense but what he didn’t and wouldn’t ever know was that he was, is, and probably will be the only one. I’ve never really had any serious relationships, not really from lack of trying, it just never worked out and I was starting to believe it was because I only wanted Wesker. 

“Okay but that could be said about you too. I mean you wouldn’t have cared about backlash even when it was a societal taboo so why haven’t you ever been with a guy?” as I spoke, I dared to slide my hand further up towards his neck with the intent to reach and cup his cheek before kissing him again. 

“I’ve only ever had sex with one person Chris and it was a short affair.” he stated with a little irritation and my movement froze as I took in his words. 

“Wait… seriously?” I sat up straighter in shock which pulled my hand back to the blond’s chest. I knew what he was talking about from his letter covering his time in the army. It seemed his lack of interest in women made his squad believe he was gay and it started to cause some issues. Part of his solution had the implication of violence and another part was to have sex with an immigrant woman they had been temporarily stationed with. When I read that I tried not to feel jealous but after thinking about it more I came to the conclusion that it didn’t really count since he hadn’t actually wanted her but he wanted me. I denied that last part at the time- denied that I was feeling jealous at all. But now hearing that was the first and only time he’d had sex, well I guess it was never stated how many times they had sex- great now I’m getting jealous again. “B..but you’re handsome and smart and rich- there’s no way, you’re messing with me!” he smirked at the series of compliments I gave him and my face grew hotter when I realized it but thankfully he didn’t address it. 

“I’m not prone to desires of a sexual nature Chris, you already know that. Learning I don’t have much experience in that department shouldn’t come as a surprise.” he shrugged one shoulder like this wasn’t Earth shattering news. How could someone like Albert Wesker basically be a virgin? 

“I guess. But that was back when you were in the army and you only did that to shut everyone up. I mean, sure, I know you’re not really a sexual person but what, have you  _ never _ wanted it since then?” knowing him to be the type of person that cares about his work above all else, I figured he wouldn’t have thought about sex all that much but he was still human- or at least used to be. Maybe his sex drive was something his virus helped to get rid of along with his need to eat or sleep but what about when he was still an actual human? Even a man as cold as him had to have impulses and needs. 

“Not enough that I couldn’t take care of it myself.” he was looking at me oddly now and sat up, dropping my hand from his chest to his lap which I quickly moved back to the mattress. “Why does this knowledge bother you so much?” I had to think about that for a moment because while I thought it was shocking news and I was reacting appropriately to it, I knew it was something more than just that. There was a meaning here that I was missing but I didn’t have to think too hard for the answer, it was easy to pinpoint and I blushed as I finally averted my eyes from his. 

“I don’t know, it’s just… I mean… like you’ve said before, you can have whatever you want and…” 

“Oh, I see.” he was smirking in that self assured way I didn’t like. “You’re wondering how I’ve gone my whole life without the need for sexual partners yet here I am wanting you.” hit the nail on the head and he was so damn smug about it. I groaned in disapproval and looked at him again. 

“I’m wondering ‘ _ why me _ ’?” I huffed and settled a stern look on him so he knew I needed an answer this time unlike the last time I asked this same question. He sighed and seemed to think about it, his eyes falling to the blanket over his legs. Then he smirked and looked back up at me with a heated but playful expression. 

“Perhaps I just ‘found the right guy’.” he teased and my face brightened again as I turned away, not knowing what to say to that. It wasn’t fair- he didn’t know what that meant to me! I leaned to rest my head on his bare shoulder and said nothing. I thought I was done with the conflicting emotions but I wanted to smile like a lovestruck fool and I wanted to cry like a lost child. He was my ‘right guy’ because I loved him. He couldn’t say something like that to me without knowing what it actually meant. It just confused me again. I felt him sigh before I heard it. “I said the wrong thing, didn’t I?” he asked as his hand lifted to my head just as I shook it. 

“No, it’s fine, that’s just… it’s fine.” I told him but didn’t move so he didn’t either though after a few silent moments, he started moving his fingers through my hair soothingly. 

After several very relaxing minutes I finally raised my head with a smile as I told him to work out with me. He got up and we went through my routine which he was hopefully going to remain a part of. We separated for showers and I made sure he would be out and dressed before I left my room so I wouldn’t see anything too pleasant to handle. Wesker tends to eat once every three days so since he had eaten yesterday, he only made enough food for me and sat with me at the table as I ate. We talked about moving the tv into the living room and we went through the list of recommendations I’d been given to see if there was anything we could agree on starting with. 

The atmosphere between us was calm and comfortable, happy even. The day was shaping up to be the best yet. But it’s just when you come to a realization like that that it all turns on its head and things seem impossibly bad. We moved to the couch once I was finished eating, our coffee cups sitting on the small table in front of us. Our conversation had lulled after we agreed on a few movies and a TV show but Wesker wanted to finish tonight’s letter before we moved the tv and started watching. So I browsed on my phone while I waited for him to finish writing. My eyes widened at the news coverage and after only reading the headline, my phone was to my ear listening to it dial the familiar number but it didn’t even ring. 

“Hey this is Claire Redfield, you know what to do.” her cheerful voice called through the phone as it went straight to voicemail. I hung up and tried again. Voicemail. 

“Chris?” I barely registered the voice next to me on the couch as I tried again. Voicemail. “What’s happened?” Voicemail. Voicemail!  _ Voicemail _ ! 

“Damn it!” I shouted in fear as I finally changed numbers, not realizing that I had stood and was now pacing with red eyes following my every step. “Where is she?” I demanded the second Jill answered her phone. “Is she okay? What happened?” 

“Calm down Chris, the police are still looking into it.” her voice was rushed but authoritative. She was trying to settle me from panic but I could tell she was worried too and that didn’t help. 

“ _ Where is she _ ?” I demanded again more harshly when she avoided answering. 

“We don’t know.” she admitted after a regretful sigh and I felt my heart stop, my body freezing with it. The fear I had been just barely containing oozed out of me followed closely by anger. 

“What do you mean you don’t know? It’s been hours- she could be infected by now or-” 

“Chris!” Jill shouted over me. “There isn’t any reason to suspect this was a targeted attack or that any biochemicals were used. The police are still looking into it and they’ve already brought a few survivors out of the wreckage. They showed no sign of any infection nor did they report anything strange. There are no indications of an outbreak so they’re focusing on getting survivors out safely and the BSAA isn’t getting involved.” 

“A TerraSave building suddenly collapses with Claire inside of it and you say there’s no reason to think it was an attack?” I asked in disbelief. “Jill if there’s-” 

“Chris I really need you to just think positively and not jump to conclusions. There are a dozen other reasons why the building could have gone down and they’re still trying to safely dig their way to others. We’ve got some volunteers with search and rescue training going to help in the efforts to move things along a bit quicker.” she explained which put a rush back into my blood. I had been on such a team when we were trying to find her and Wesker’s bodies. I could do something! 

“Us! That’s us! Get me out of here and we’ll-” 

“That was over ten years ago, things have changed.” she cut me off sharply. She knew I had elbowed my own into her rescue attempts but even I knew they only allowed me there because my lack of experience with the terrain wasn’t at risk of hurting more people. I wanted to challenge her, tell her that things hadn’t changed that much and we’d done building collapses before. But she knew me well enough to expect that and countered the argument before I could make it. “And they need level headed people. If you were there you would only get in the way by trying to dig too soon and maybe end up bringing more of the building down in your rush to find Claire.” I wanted to challenge that too but a part of me knew she was right. With everyone brought out that wasn’t Claire I’d get more and more hurried to find her and get her out. 

“I can help.” I whispered, my voice nearly begging as the fear began to crush my chest. My eyes burned but I didn’t care to do anything about it. I was scared and it didn’t matter who knew. 

“The best thing you can do right now is to wait and continue your current mission.” she lowered her voice with an apologetic tone. “They  _ will _ find her.” she hung up without waiting for me to respond. I listened to the line go dead and stared ahead of me as my emotions boiled higher, unaware of the voice calling out to me. This prison, the one Claire herself told me wasn’t for me… suddenly felt like it was. I knew if I screamed and begged they wouldn’t let me out because that would violate the deal. I was every bit trapped here as Wesker was- I’d only deluded myself thinking I was in any sort of control here. I was stuck in here and Claire was out there under a building, scared and fighting for her life or maybe even- no. Think positive. Think positive. Think- a loud crashing sound reverberated through me as my coffee mug shattered, splattering the coffee inside across the wall I threw it against. I screamed in frustration and threw my arms out to topple everything off of the coffee table before kicking the thing over. 

“Damn it!” I yelled as I took the few steps to the nearest wall and punched it, not even feeling the pain it shot up my arm. Claire needed me and I was locked up in here when I should be out there finding her! 

“Christopher calm down!” Wesker’s stern voice finally registered as he grabbed a hold of me, one hand on my shoulder and the other over my fist to prevent me from punching the wall again. 

“Claire needs me and I’m fucking stuck here with you!” I spat at him as if it was his fault this was happening. I panted in anger and I turned to throw my free fist at him instead but stopped when I saw his eyes… he looked at me with genuine worry. In his eyes I saw he cared nothing for what became of Claire nor did he understand what I was feeling… but he was worried about what it was doing to me. In that instant, all the anger drained from my body and left behind only the fear. “Jill doesn’t think it was an attack but- but what if it was?” I asked him as if he would have the answer. “Either way, she’s in danger. What am I supposed to do?” my legs shook slightly and my body didn’t fight it when Wesker tugged me just a bit closer to him so I was leaning on him, using one hand on the back of my head to bring my forehead to his shoulder. The blond used his other hand to massage a high point on my shoulder that hurt for a split second before tingling. He used the same fingers to slip through my fist and pinch between my fingers. I felt numb all over but somehow breathed a little easier and that was when I realized he was hitting pressure points to try to alleviate some tension from me. 

“Ricardo Irving.” he sighed and I had to blink to see clearly as I raised my head. 

“What?” I asked but he didn’t answer. Instead he led me backward to the couch, sitting down himself before gently urging me down too. When I hesitated, he reached to the floor to pick up my phone and held it out for me. I hadn’t realized I dropped it when I threw my mug. 

“Call Jill back and put her on speaker.” he told me though it didn’t come out as an order. I complied with sitting down though my leg bounced anxiously as I unlocked my phone and redialed Jill. It took her longer to answer and I worried she might not but eventually she did. 

“Chris if you’re calling to-” 

“I have something I want you to check into.” Wesker interrupted and the woman went silent. 

“Where’s Chris?” she demanded but not with the venom I would have expected which told me she was getting more used to the idea of a friendly Wesker. 

“I’m here.” I reassured her but before either of us could say anything else, the blond man continued. 

“I want you to get a location on Ricardo Irving, I believe the BSAA is familiar with him. He’s one of my contacts and has a hand in a lot of bioweapon business on the black market. If anyone was planning an attack against TerraSave, he would have at least heard of it.” he explained and I listened intently. “Tell him I sent you and if he doesn’t comply then I’ll find someone else to aid in my project, he’ll understand and answer any questions you have. He won’t work with the BSAA so casual clothes only and don’t make it obvious you’re interrogating him.” if I wasn’t too preoccupied worrying over Claire, maybe I would have thought about how this was the Wesker I missed. My cool headed and in control captain, the man who always had a plan… the man who always had my back. There was a little more talk of his last known location and when Wesker had last been in contact with him. I listened but stayed out of it since there was nothing I could do right now. Jill made to hang up in order to get on that but the blond man stopped her. 

“And Jill, certainly this goes without saying, but there’s to be no mention of my imprisonment here.” the inhuman man told her with an edge to his voice. 

“Don’t fucking threaten me Wesker.” Jill bit back sharply and the other sighed. 

“It’s not directed at you, I mean for you to pass it on to the rest of the BSAA.” both me and my best friend were stunned into a short silence at his near apologetic tone at the misunderstanding. There was also the fact that he wasn’t aiming his threat at her even though she would be in prime condition to let it out that he was in custody. “Everyone I currently work with believes me to be field testing and perfecting a drug I claimed to be testing on you with your resilience due to the T virus.” he explained and I gawked at him. 

“You mean that… P30 thing you were talking about- the mind controlling drug?” I asked with accusation. 

“Mind control?” Jill exclaimed. 

“The same.” Wesker said solely to me before returning his attention to my phone. “I used it on you once during one of your last operations to get you to lay still and found it didn’t stay in your system nearly as long as it was intended. While I am curious what it would take to get it to last, I didn’t use it again nor do I intend to. May we move on now?” there was a moment of hesitation that he took advantage of to switch the topic back to his threat. “I believe you’ll agree that it’s best the people I’m working with don’t get suspicious and go into hiding.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jill confirmed with an irritated sigh. “You’re right that it goes without saying.” if I wasn’t so worried about Claire, I would have laughed at her sassing off to our former captain who raised an eyebrow at the remark. “I’ll call you back as soon as we hear anything on Claire or Irving.” 

“Thank you Jill.” I quickly called to her before she hung up. The call ended but I stared at the blank screen a moment longer before raising my gaze to Wesker who was still looking at me with concern. “Thank you.” my voice was but a whisper and he sighed before leaning to rest his forehead to mine. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wasn’t calm- not by a few miles but I wasn’t as close to panic as I had been thanks to this intricate man who, even with all his villainous acts, had done something kind just for me. 

… … … 

I don’t remember much of the past few hours- it’s all blurred together. I know I tried distracting myself by cleaning up my mess- my poor coffee mug, it had been my favorite, but I couldn’t think of it now. I sat and I stood and I paced- I paced a lot- I’m pacing now. I think Wesker tried to get me to sit back down with him but I shrugged him off. I think he tried to touch me and I moved away from him. He tried to talk to me and I yelled at him- I hadn’t meant to be so mean to him, I’m just full of so much nervous energy and no one will tell me anything! I called Jill- called her a lot, she won’t answer my calls anymore. She said she would call me the moment they heard back. I know they found Irving, they just have to send someone to talk to him but I was told to sit tight. I can’t sit- need to move. There’s been no word on Claire, it’s a big building and they’re still working their way through it bit by bit but so far the casualty count is low. That’s great and all but it doesn’t help! I need to know  _ Claire _ is alright! I paced some more, sure I was wearing a path into the floor but it didn’t matter. Jill said the more they get into the wreckage the less likely it seems to be an attack rather police think it may have been constructed with cut corners and an investigation is being led in that direction. It didn’t matter. 

“Claire is a tough woman, she knows how to handle herself.” Wesker told me and I was surprised he was trying so hard to calm me down that he would go to the lengths of complimenting my sister. 

“What is she supposed to do about a building falling on top of her?” I yelled in objection. I know how tough she was- I was responsible for her training! “How is she supposed to combat suddenly being crushed?” Wesker fell quiet again as he continued to watch my movements from the couch. During this entire hell his eyes haven’t left me- not once. Maybe if I wasn’t so high strung I would have noticed how on edge he was getting over my behavior but I didn’t and I didn’t care. None of this mattered to me anymore! Wesker didn’t matter- this place didn’t matter- his fucking evidence didn’t matter! I needed to get out of here and find my little sister- she was all I had left! I rushed to the front door, banging on it with both fists as I screamed and demanded to be let out. 

“Chris. Chris!” Wesker’s voice was next to me, his body close with one hand on my arm and the other on the small of my back. “No one’s coming to get you out, they care more about our deal.” he told me like it was news to me but I had already come to that conclusion before. 

“Then break it!” I yelled at him, facing him for the first time since I left him on the couch. Tears welled my vision and my breaths were coming in angry huffs- too fast and too shallow it made my chest burn with the effort. 

“I can’t.” he spoke with a guilt I couldn’t stand so I stopped looking at him. I pushed away from him and marched back to the couch to grab one of the new cups of coffee Wesker had made for the both of us in the hopes of keeping me settled. I hurled the glass at one of the cameras, not caring if I did any damage to the monitoring device. 

“Get me the fuck out of here! I’m done!” I screamed at the camera even as it dripped with the brown liquid I had thrown at it. 

“Christopher that’s enough!” Wesker shouted at me with the authority that used to make me flinch but it did nothing now though it did manage to draw my attention back to him. “You have to calm down or you’ll stress yourself into a full blown panic attack.” he lowered his voice as he spoke, slowly stepping closer to me as if I were the dangerous one. “You’re already hyperventilating and I do not wish for you to endure that, I hear it can be quite painful.” he was close enough to reach out and place a hand on my shoulder. His voice was near pleading as he continued in a whisper which made me focus on his voice instead of the rampaging in my mind. “Calm down.” but I didn’t want to. 

“My sister might be dead out there by herself because I’m stuck in here with you.” I informed him venomously as I shrugged his hand off of me. “You better hope they find her alive.” I’m not sure how I was looking at him but it felt like my own eyes would melt with the hatred they poured from them and even the great Albert Wesker… looked away. I left him there alone to storm into my room, slamming and locking the door behind me. 

… … … 

I heard snippets of noise outside my door. So loud- too loud. A voice maybe? It was hard to tell. Whatever sound was around me rang together into a droll buzz that sounded more like white noise. I tried to clasp my hands over my ears but my limbs were too heavy with numbness to obey me. I felt like everything was tilting this way and that but it was hard to keep up with it through my tear blurred vision- it was because I was crying, right? Why couldn’t I see? My chest heaved so fast my ribs hurt but I couldn’t stop it. My head was light but at the same time it felt like it was too heavy to move. My spine tingled unpleasantly but centered mostly at the base of my neck where it itched and burned and caused more distortion. 

Light flooded into my sight, too much contrast for my scattered perception to make much of other than pain but I couldn’t even groan in objection. Then there was pressure around me and I tried to fight back against it but didn’t have the strength. If I thought the world was titling before, it was full on spinning now. More sounds invaded my confused senses and there was so much more chaos around me. I just wanted it all to end. Everything hurt- it was too loud- it was too bright- stop it- end it! I just wanted some peace! 

Cold- there was cold against the heat in my head… it felt nice. More pressure- here- there- I wanted it to go away. Pressure and spinning then air. I could feel my lungs expand fully and a little of my vision straightened. There was more sound, it came at first like a low whistle- an irritant I didn’t want to exist. But it persisted and I almost thought it seemed like a voice. It was a voice, low and calming. 

Explosions of noise and movement and chaos returned though I had been unaware it had been retreating. Everything was pain and misery again and my chest ached and my brain throbbed. I just wanted it to stop. I wanted the voice back. But it never returned and for an eternity I tumbled alone through waves of blurry motion and echoing sounds. 

Then I was breathing again and the spinning slowly stopped. A voice- a different voice. Jill. I blinked and very slowly I could start to make sense of the things around me. The legs of the table and the chairs… the couch… Jill. She sat at my side on the floor of the living room of Wesker’s and my own prison. She was singing. My eyes found her and I really saw her. She noticed and smiled. 

“Hey, welcome back.” she spoke with a soft voice so as not to agitate me. I tried to say something to her but my throat was so dry and I was so damn tired. My breathing was normal but each inhale still sent air to my lungs that felt hotter than it should and it hurt. I tried to move, even just to raise my head off of Jill’s lap but my muscles protested the movement. Everything hurt. “It’s okay, stay here.” my best friend told me before her head turned away from me and I noticed the two BSAA agents standing at Wesker’s closed door with their guns drawn. “He’s fine now, you can go.” they exchanged a hesitant look before asking something that I didn’t fully catch, something about risky or staying here. “I’m going to help him to bed then I’ll be out.” I only noticed them leaving because their movement made me nauseous. I groaned and slowly moved my hand up to hold my head. 

“Jill.” a new voice called and I instantly recognized it as the first voice to whisper soothingly to me through the haze- Wesker. Tears filled my eyes again at the thought of how cruel I was to him and he was still there for me. 

“I’ll be right back.” she promised before carefully lowering my head to the ground so she could stand and walk away from me. I could still distinguish her blurry form at the door the two guards had been at as she disengaged the locks and opened it. I couldn’t see Wesker but Jill returned to me, lifting my head back up but stopped when I groaned and shook my head which then sent my world through the spin cycle again. 

“Press your thumb between the tendons two to three fingers down his wrist.” Wesker’s voice instructed from somewhere else and Jill obeyed. After a minute I didn’t feel as nauseous or like everything was spinning anymore. I was able to lift my head with less issue and my friend scooted herself under me again to act as a pillow. Another blond head appeared at my side opposite my partner. Red eyes gazed down at me, calculations passing them that I couldn’t keep up with. A strong hand lifted my head and offered a glass of foggy water to my lips. I greedily drank it down, vaguely noticing something red on the chest of his shirt but was too focused on not choking to really give it any attention. 

“What is that?” 

“Improvised medicine, it’ll help.” he explained to Jill before lowering my head back to the woman’s thighs. My hand found his and he held it firmly. “You’re going to fall asleep now and when you wake up you’ll feel much better.” he consoled me and I carefully nodded but wasn’t capable of words. 

“Chris.” Jill called softly to get my attention, waiting until my gaze was on her before she smiled down at me with water in her eyes. “They found Claire, she’s a little banged up but she’s safe.” wetness spilled from my eyes at the wonderful news and my chest heaved again with emotion. 

“We only just managed to calm him down, did you have to tell him now?” Wesker asked with irritation and Jill rolled her eyes but didn’t answer him. 

“Let’s get him to bed.” she said instead. The two helped me up but instead of half dragging me, the inhuman man scooped me into his arms and walked in front of the blonde woman into my bedroom where it was darker which was a relief. Wesker placed me into bed and Jill tucked the blanket up to my neck. I was very quickly losing awareness but not in a scary way like before, this was a calm quiet taking me now and I welcomed it. I barely made out the two figures next to my bed, the smaller one hugging the other. “Thank you.” 

“It was my pleasure.” Wesker’s voice was more distant than it should have sounded. 

“... think… understand… you’re here.” her words were so muddled I couldn’t understand what she was saying but it was fine, it didn’t matter. Claire was safe, Jill was here, and Wesker cared for me. All was right with the world again. Claire was safe. All the worry and fear emptied out of me to be replaced with relief. Jill was here. She sang to me and comforted me until I felt better because she was the best friend I could have ever hoped to have. Wesker cared for me. The painful ache in my chest lightened and though my body still felt uncomfortably hot, the warmth wasn’t unpleasant. Wesker cared. Everything was fine. 

~~~ 

I’d been aware of the event, of course I had been, so the reason I was still shocked that my team came into work hungover eluded me. This wasn’t the first time someone had come to work in an unprofessional state but never before the whole team at once. Luckily for them, someone had paid for and installed a new coffee machine in the break room nearest to our office, the one we all used though we weren’t the only department to do so. It produced a much higher quality drink than the slosh we had to endure before. After dragging the aftermath of their party to work with them, I had been regretting spoiling the lot but at least the purchase had not been for nothing since it did brighten everyone’s day. 

“Captain have you tried the new coffee machine?” my pointman’s voice called out to me excitedly on that first morning of the machine’s arrival. I gazed over him appraisingly, noting how he had perked up since he first dragged himself in. He seemed revitalized back to his boyishly cheerful self. Yes, it wasn’t for nothing. 

“Yes, I have.” I informed him as I was actually just leaving to refill my cup. 

“We’ve really needed a new coffee maker for a long time, this is awesome.” he grinned and I nodded in agreement. The whole building has been long overdue for an upgrade but Chief Irons insisted it wasn’t necessary and would make no room for new machines in the budget. “Do you know who got it?” 

“I know it was installed last night, it was there this morning when I came in.” I evaded and he didn’t seem to notice as he thought about that information. 

“Yeah you were probably here late again and had to have the old coffee.” he tapped his chin as he thought. “Did you see who put it in?” 

“No.” it wasn’t a lie, I hadn’t seen myself do it. 

“Pretty cool timing, huh? Magically showing up in our break room right after my birthday.” he looked over to me again as he spoke but I didn’t react to it in case that was what he was searching for. 

“A coincidence, I’m sure.” 

“Since when do you believe in coincidences?” he laughed but I again didn’t react, unsure if that was an accusation. “Hm… guess we’ll have to figure it out so we can thank whoever it was.” he fell silent and looked away from me, still puzzling over it so I took a step back towards the door because I wasn’t sure if he was done talking or not. His eyes flickered again to me, to my empty coffee cup, to the door, then back to me. “Oh!” he jumped up, grabbing his own cup as he came closer. “I was gonna get a refill anyway, I can get yours too.” he offered as I allowed him to take my cup. 

“Thank you.” 

“No problem captain, it’s the least I can do.” his grin widened and he didn’t move to leave as he watched me reexamine him. Had he worked it out? Did he know I bought it for him? 

“Coffee?” I reminded him and he nodded quickly, a small dusting of red crossing his cheeks at having been called out on his staring. He stepped around me to the door and I watched him go suspiciously. 

The new machine was the hot topic of all conversation today as people tried to figure out who had purchased it. Chris hadn’t been the first to notice that it had been installed right after his birthday and after he had been so openly complaining about the poor tasting coffee from the old machine. I had planned to reply in the negative if anyone had the audacity to ask me if I had bought it for his birthday which wouldn’t be a lie. It wasn’t necessarily for Chris’s birthday as it was a gift for everyone, even the officers that came from across the building just to use it, although it was Chris’s loud protest that inspired the idea. The fact that it coincided with his birthday was mere happenstance, I knew no one would be around that night since they had been out celebrating so I could take my time setting it up. Thus saying I bought it for Chris’s birthday was simply not the case. He had been on my mind when I got the machine, yes, but it wasn’t intended as a birthday gift specifically for him. 

Had anyone simply asked if it was I that bought it, I would evade for as long as possible especially now with the publicly accepted idea that it was secretly for Chris. I would rather no one know it was me who bought the machine because I didn’t want to deal with the expectation that I might buy new machines for the whole building or be called selfish. I didn’t care for anyone else in the building so I cared not for their comfort, if they didn’t like the machines nearest them they could make the trek. 

I never did figure out if Chris actually knew but he at least suspected it. It was like a riddle we danced around together, whether I did buy it and whether he knew, and that was alright. It was, at the very least, entertaining. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO! Long chapter, yay. I want to apologize if I triggered anyone's anxiety during this chapter, I had to stop and return to it three times and I actually took out a few bits that consistently triggered me as I was writing that scene. Anyone else experience bad attacks like that? I remember one of the worst ones I had happened during a night walk with my cousin and our friend. It came on so quick and I couldn't breathe, ended up collapsing on the street. My cousin ran home for help while our friend stayed with me and I'm told we almost got hit by a car coming around the curve too fast but swerved and missed us (still not sure if that's true since my cousin never saw the car since they didn't stick around to see if we were okay). I was conscious the whole time but I couldn't make sense of anything happening around me. Voices were muffled and distant, the red and blue lights of the ambulance were fuzzy, when I was moved it felt like I was being spun. My muscles were tense, my lungs burned, my chest felt compressed, and my limbs felt heavy yet numb to a point I wasn't sure they existed anymore. It sucked. There was another time in high school I was having a panic attack and backed myself into a corner and my friend, trying to see if I was okay, touched me and I punched her because I couldn't properly register who she was and I was scared. I think this plays into the schizophrenic diagnosis I was given at 14 though there's been debate about that. Point is, it all sucks and it's really hard to deal with. If anyone of you suffer from any sort of illness, mental or physical, I want you to know you're not alone. I used to think that way and there's no deeper feeling of isolation. Your struggle is real there are others who understand what you're going through.   
> Anyway, not the direction I wanted to go with this. To be fair, I never know where I'm going with these notes, I just write them as I post. You're all awesome and thanks for all your support, it continues to mean so much to me. Poor Chris, good Wesker, supportive Jill, safe Claire. We're good.   
> Also, just a heads up, I'm probably going to be posting the first chapter of the new Chrisker fic I've been working on later on tonight or tomorrow. Not the one I've been hyping up, still waiting for a meeting before I can progress with that one, but another one that came to mind and I wrote a million scenes for and have been stringing together into a cohesive story for awhile. It's gonna be good, I think you'll like it.


	17. Day 14

It took a few tries to get my eyes open since they had crusted with sleep and dried tear tracks. My head was still kind of light and I felt groggy but much better in comparison to last night. I groaned and rolled over, hearing a shift from outside my door which was open. I blinked and squinted against the light coming in to make out a head peering around the doorframe at me at a lower angle than expected. 

“Wesker?” I called half asking to confirm it was him and half because I wanted it to be him and I wanted him near me. To my luck it was the blond and he stood from what must be a chair placed at my door and boldly stepped into my room out of the camera’s view. Or so I thought but then noticed that the red light on the camera in my room was on so we were still being watched though that didn’t stop him from sitting on my bed with me as I lay there. 

“I assume you slept well.” he mimicked his tone from the previous morning when I went into his room with kisses. I managed a small smile but it fell quickly. 

“Claire?” 

“Safe.” he confirmed with a short nod and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. “Don’t worry yourself with that now, you don’t need any more stress.” he placed the back of his hand on my forehead though it didn’t stay there, slipping down my temple to my cheek before his palm stretched to the side of my neck. “You don’t seem to have a fever and you’re cognitive. How are you feeling otherwise?” 

“Like shit.” I groaned again though I inched closer to him, tempted to just curl my body around him until he was trapped in bed with me. “My head hurts and my body is stiff but I’m fine.” I elaborated before deciding that moving enough to slide further down the bed to lay my head on Wesker’s thigh instead of my pillow was worth the ache. He said nothing of it as his hand moved to rub my back, an action that seemed very familiar though I was sure he had never done this before. It didn’t matter, I enjoyed his display of affection. I closed my eyes, content to just stay in this moment. 

“That will pass with time. It would be best if you stay in bed for today.” he licked the thumb of his free hand before rubbing it at something on my face. “Perhaps after a shower.” 

“What was that?” 

“Blood.” I wasn’t aware enough yet to be put on alert over that but it did get my attention. 

“Blood? Am I bleeding?” my voice didn’t sound alarmed at all, instead betraying just how tired I still was. 

“No, it was my blood.” his answer did alert me this time. I opened my eyes to look up at him and he met my eye though didn’t seem disturbed by the admission. 

“Your’s? What happened?” I asked as I tried to sit up but he held me down gently, urging me to keep my head in his lap as if he too were comfortable with the position. 

“We can discuss it later, for now you need to rest some more.” he told me with a soft tone that soothed the worry from me. He was indestructible anyway, whatever happened he was fine now and we could talk later. I was tired. 

“M’kay.” I spoke through a yawn that ended in a groan at my pulsing headache. 

“Is there anything you require?” 

“Water.” 

“I’ll get some for you.” I didn’t want to let him leave but my mouth was really dry so I desperately needed the hydration. Lifting my head away from him, I scooted back up to my pillow to rest on while he was away though I hadn’t actually noticed him stand to leave but when I looked back he was gone. He didn’t take long to come back with a cold water bottle from the fridge. I propped myself on one elbow and accepted the offered drink with the other hand. I drank a good portion before the blond took it from me. “Slow down or you’ll make yourself sick.” he warned and I groaned in protest. My throat was still a little dry though not to the point of discomfort anymore. “Can you stand?” I nodded and knew where he was going with the question so I slowly drew my blanket away from my body to get up. In sync, I got out of bed and went to turn on the shower while he collected clean clothes for me to wear and set them on the sink. “I’ll be out here if you need me.” I only nodded at him before he stepped back out into my bedroom and shut the door behind him. 

I undressed and showered slowly since I was still pretty groggy and not completely stable on my feet. The warm water helped to relax my muscles which took some of the aches away so I could move a little easier. As much as I would have loved to sit down and just let the water fall on me for a while, Wesker was waiting so I got out. I dried off and dressed into the clean clothes my old captain had gotten for me before stepping out but he wasn’t there. I slipped back into bed just as he walked in carrying a cup though I couldn’t smell any coffee. I stayed sitting up with the assumption that the cup was for me even though the water bottle was in my reach. Having assumed right, the blond man handed over the cup. Gazing into it I saw that the water within was hazy like it had some fine powder mixed in which seemed vaguely familiar. 

“It’s simply some…” he trailed off as I drank the contents, figuring I would need to ingest all of it for it to take full effect. “You aren’t going to assume I’m poisoning you?” the blond questioned as he took the now empty cup from me so I could lay down. 

“Like I’ve said before, if you were gonna kill me you would have already.” I adjusted for comfort and closed my eyes, content to make light conversation until I inevitably fell back asleep. “You wouldn’t need poison to do it anyway and it’s not your style.” I didn’t realize what I said was funny but Wesker chuckled as he sat next to me again. 

“I have a killing style, do I?” he was obviously amused by this but still encouraged me to sleep by pulling my blanket higher up my body before his hand returned to rubbing my back. 

“I’ve followed through your wake before Wesker. Massacre.” sleep was already trying to take me and I wondered if whatever he made for me had something to do with that. 

“If you’re referring to what I did at the Spencer Estate, I was in a rather foul mood.” he argued and I could imagine him rolling his eyes at the implication that he always left such a mess. He was a professional through and through, if he could help it he would leave no trace of his being anywhere. It’s how he managed to stay hidden so well for so long, he was so good at covering his tracks. Hell Jill and I had been in the same Umbrella facility with him in Russia and hadn’t even been aware he was there until much later. Even though he hated me and wanted me dead at the time, he had another mission to accomplish there so he put me on hold, used me to help clean up some of the mess even. Though when I thought of it like that I felt less used and more like it had been a forced partnership and I liked thinking of it like that. I didn’t even know he was there and would have tried my damndest to bring him to justice but it was a little sweet to think that in his eyes he put his hatred aside to work with me. 

“I know, I know.” I yawned again and noticed that already my head didn’t ache as much and was becoming more cloudy. “But you’re free of all that now.” I told him just as darkness began to consume me. I swore I felt his hand travel to rest on my cheek and though I’m sure I dreamt it… I thought he said it was because of me. 

… … … 

When I awoke again Wesker was gone but I felt fine, a little groggy and maybe a tiny bit sore but fine. I turned over, intent on getting comfortable again and going back to sleep if I could when my hand hit my phone though I didn’t remember putting it there. I decided to grab it and go through it, finding dozens of missed calls from Claire, Jill, and a few other BSAA agents working this case. I wondered how I could have slept through all these but then realized it was set to silent again so I turned the ring back on. Briefly listening to the voicemails, I deleted most of them that were just checking in after my panic attack though I took note of who had reached out so I could text them to say thanks and let them know I was alright. Jill had left three, the first addressing Wesker as she demanded to know what the hell was going on which deeply confused me. The second was a check in to see if I was okay and to let Wesker know he was reassigned which confused me even more. The third stated that she had news and to call her back when I woke up. I wanted to know what was going on myself but instead of calling her, I continued through the voice messages. 

“Chris, it’s Claire, I just want you to know that I’m okay.” hearing her voice brought tears to my eyes though I quickly blinked them away. After going through the worst case scenarios where I never got to hear her voice again, this was like having life breathed back into me. “I know you’ve probably heard by now and I hope this didn’t freak you out too much, I know how you worry. I’m fine, everything’s fine but… we lost a few good people.” there was a sad silence for a moment. “Call me when you can okay?” the message ended and I replayed it… four times. I wanted to call her right then but I was so relieved hearing her voice saying she was okay that I just had to keep hearing it. “Hey, it’s me again. Jill got in touch… she told me what happened. Are you okay? Well anyway, she’s trying to get me clearance to visit you for both our sakes but it’s been a while since I’ve heard anything about it. Take it easy Chris and hopefully I’ll see you soon.” hearing that perked me up and I hurried to call her. 

“Chris.” her groggy voice was filled with a calm relief that I also felt wave through my whole body. 

“Claire- thank god you’re okay.” I said more to myself, having to fight off tears again. 

“My section of the building wasn’t too bad.” she paused to yawn and I felt bad, knowing that I had woken her up. I wondered how long she had been home and able to sleep. She explained how the building came down around them, how she and a few others had helped to free others, how they had lost some, how rescue finally got to them, how she had to deal with being questioned by the cops, and then hospital check ups before she was finally able to go home. It’d been a long night and an even longer morning. She complained that she was having trouble sleeping thinking about it all but hearing from me made her feel better. “What about you? Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine Claire, don’t worry about me. You’re the one that almost died.” I tried to joke and grew concerned when she didn’t laugh or even chuckle, instead seemed sad. She had just witnessed the deaths of her coworkers- maybe even her friends. While we were all pretty good at bouncing back from stuff like this, had to be to stay sane, maybe it was too soon to try to play it off. In honesty, and I was a little ashamed to admit it, but I didn’t really care as long as she was safe. I’d dedicated so much of my life to the world and everyone in it… I just wanted to think about the people I really cared about and… call me selfish but I wanted to think about myself too. And right now I wanted to see my little sister more than anything else in the world. “Is the BSAA gonna let you in?” I changed the subject, not wanting to talk about how my precious little sister was almost crushed under a building anymore. I pretended not to notice the way I referred to the organization I helped to build as if I weren’t a part of it and hoped that she hadn’t caught it. 

“I’m not sure, you’d have to talk to Jill and see where she’s at with the request.” she explained apologetically with another yawn. 

“I’ll do that. You keep trying to get some rest, sounds like you really need it. I’ll call you as soon as you can come over.” I again pretended like I wasn’t casually talking about this prison as if it were my actual living space and I was inviting my sister over like it was any other day. This was a prison for both Wesker and myself. A prison that I was wanting out of less and less, almost dreading returning to normal life and all its stresses. 

“Yes sir.” she lazily replied before we exchanged goodbyes and well wishes and hung up. I called Jill next. 

“Hey how are you feeling?” her gentle voice asked and I could feel her smile through the speaker of my phone. 

“Much better, thanks.” I told her with a small smile of my own. “I talked to Claire, have you gotten her approved to visit?” 

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about earlier. It’s mostly gone through but we’re just waiting on the final say so.” she explained. I wondered about the BSAA’s motive here and about the deal struck with Wesker. As if reading my mind, my best friend continued. “I was really surprised when Wesker suggested it and said it was an exception that wouldn’t break the deal.” 

“Wait- having Claire visit was Wesker’s idea?” I asked in shock. Having him agree to it was one thing but it being his plan was another. 

“Yeah. He said it would help you move past it to see her so he actually insisted that we deliver her to you today. But of course everyone has to talk it over first.” she sounded annoyed like she also believed everyone should just trust that Wesker had good intentions with the suggestion but of course they didn’t. 

“He did?” my heart fluttered as warmth spread through my chest. 

“He also called me to demand that whoever wasn’t paying attention to the monitors get fired. I agreed that something needed to be done about that so he was reassigned.” she sounded proud of herself and I could guess that it was the homophobe she had to deal with from before for her to be happy over it. At least that explained why she had addressed Wesker in one of the voicemails since he had to have called from my phone. 

“Wesker called you? What exactly happened last night?” I asked, needing to unravel the mystery. 

“I already sent you a video of the surveillance. You should- sorry to cut this short but I’ve got to go, I think they decided.” she rushed out before hanging up without waiting for me to respond. Now I was feeling anxious having to wait for her to get back to me. Knowing Wesker wouldn’t approve of me stressing out again, I reluctantly got out of bed to go find him to calm me down. I found him in the kitchen just as he started to pull some food from the fridge and I stopped him. 

“I’m not up to eating right now.” I told him as I stepped into the kitchen and grabbed his arm. He looked like he wanted to object but closed his mouth when my hand slid into his and squeezed. “I promise I’ll eat later but I want to lay down a little longer.” he nodded and added a little pressure to my hand before releasing it to put everything away. I waited until he was done before I wrapped my arms around him from behind and rested my cheek on the back of his shoulder. Wordlessly he placed one of his hands over mine and I could feel his thumb rubbing circles around my knuckles. We stood like that for a long while before I breathed him in as I sighed and broke the silence. “Thank you.” I whispered against his skin and he hummed. 

“You’re welcome.” I had been rude to him when he was trying to help me. Though I don’t remember much of my attack I know he was there for me, and he even invited Claire here so I would be okay. I had so much to thank him for and I’m not sure which I was referring to or which he thought it was but nothing more needed said. Typically this would be something that Wesker would draw out, his ego craving the recognition of his actions but he didn’t. All was understood and all was forgiven and I’d never felt closer to him. 

“Will you lay with me?” I shyly asked and after a moment Wesker turned his head to see me but it wasn’t enough so he slowly turned his body and I had to let him go so he could face me. He looked me over, studying my body language to maybe fully understand what I meant by that and thought it over. Before he could answer me, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I hurried to check it. Claire’s visit was approved and Jill was going to go pick her up now. I wanted to argue that she needed to sleep but I wanted to see her too badly and I knew she would feel the same so I only told her to let me know when they got here. It was during this chat that I saw the video file that Jill had told me she sent from last night. I wanted to watch it. 

“Good news?” the blond man asked at the wide grin on my face. I nodded as I put my phone away. 

“Claire’s on her way here.” I told him and his expression changed very slightly to one of annoyance that I didn’t call him on. I understood he didn’t actually want her here, that he was only allowing this for me and I deeply appreciated it. 

“Do you still want to lay down while we wait?” he asked as he held his hand out for me in the small space between us. I smiled and took it with a nod, happy that he was willing to lay with me though I wasn’t exactly sure what I meant by that either. I just knew that I wanted to lay down and I wanted him near me. His eyes turned momentarily to my room in thought before leading me to his room, figuring that would be better as far as anyone else was concerned but… his bed was smaller. As we entered his room I gazed at the bed and thought about how we would fit… was he rethinking this now too or was this planned? He didn’t seem to hesitate at all as he pulled back the blanket and slid under it, moving over to the wall before holding the blanket up for me expectantly. I stood there for a moment probably red faced as I stared at him but he was patient. I swallowed and cleared my throat before carefully lowering myself to lay on my side next to him- so close. 

He adjusted the blanket to cover both of us up to our midsections and I felt even closer to him now that we were enclosed. I almost flinched in surprise when his fingers touched my neck, pressing a little as a cue to lift my head so I did and he slid his arm under so I was laying on it. During all this he didn’t look at me, choosing to stare up at the ceiling instead. I watched him. Such a blank expression I knew to be practiced, his chest rose and fell steadily, there was no tension in his jaw, and there was no extra color in his cheeks or ears. He was the picture of calm and collected but his eyes… they searched the ceiling like it was actually interesting rather than just somewhere to look. He was distracting himself. Hesitantly I moved my hand to his chest, spreading my fingers over the left side and was surprised to feel a quickened heartbeat. I stared at my hand like it was lying to me before my eyes moved to orange ones though he still wouldn’t meet my gaze especially now that I knew what he was hiding. He was nervous. I wasn’t about to make a comment and ruin everything. Feeling a little more confident, I scooted even closer to Wesker so our bodies were pressed together and I rested my head on his shoulder, keeping my hand over his heart. The arm under me curled over my body so the blond’s hand rested comfortably on my side, his fingers subtly tugging my shirt up just enough to touch my skin. I soon moved again so my ear was a little closer to his chest so I could also hear his heartbeat, taking great comfort in the strong and quick thump because of what it meant. 

We laid in comfortable silence for a long time before I wanted to ask more about what happened last night. But I figured all my questions would be answered if I just watched the footage so I told Wesker about it and he said he didn’t mind watching it with me. I fished my phone out of my pocket, trying to break contact with him as little as possible before resettling with my phone hand resting on top of his ribs so we could both see. Jill had left a text above it saying that she didn’t have time to cut it all together so it was all just from one camera but she did add quick subtitles of what she knew to be said and apologized if they weren’t quite right. 

The camera angle was from one of the corners in the living room and watched Wesker walk to my door, knocking as his mouth formed my name. He waited for a moment before repeating the actions. Another pause with no answer. He leaned the side of his head closer to my door before pulling away sharply to bang on the door, still calling my name and telling me to open the door. He must have heard my irregular breathing. He stood back and looked directly at the camera, holding his thumb and pinky fingers up like a phone and pointing at my room. He listened for my phone to ring before banging on my door again, trying to get me up. He raised his arms up to the camera as if to ask why no one had called me yet. His hands were moving suddenly and I had to rewind it to watch again when I realized he was using sign language. I only knew the basics but I think he said something about me being sick and helping. I wasn’t happy with that tiny bit of translation but luckily Jill had added the full translation. 

‘Chris is sick and needs help. If you won’t help him, I will.’ I looked to Wesker but he continued to watch the screen so I did too. He actually started pacing, it was quick- only four strides back and forth before he seemed to make up his mind. With one last glare at the camera, he walked straight to my room and twisted the knob but didn’t seem surprised to find that it was locked. He easily broke the lock and stormed into my room only to come out a moment later with me in his arms. I looked horrible drenched in sweat, my chest rising and falling too rapidly, and my face twisted in pain. He set me down on the couch before going back into my room, coming out again with my cellphone to his ear and he looked angry. His mouth moved as he rushed into the kitchen to wet a rag with cold water. ‘Whoever is supposed to be watching the monitors needs to be fired.’ There was no dialog for who I assumed was Jill so I guessed she wasn’t able to get in a word. ‘Chris is very sick and no one tried to help him. I broke his door to do it myself.’ There still wasn’t any word from Jill as Wesker hung up and left my phone on the kitchen counter. 

Wesker returned to me, placing the rag over my forehead before checking the pulse in my neck, using my watch to count it. He seemed a little troubled as he lay his head on my chest and hovered one hand over my mouth. Then he stood up, pulled me up into a sitting position and bent me over so my head was between my knees though he had to support me. There wasn’t any audio but I could tell I was coughing and gasping by the quick jerky movements of my shoulders. I was breathing again. I was thinking I could almost remember some of this through the haze of lights and the buzz of noise but I definitely remembered that and some of the blurs were coming together. Not that I was suddenly remembering what happened more clearly, just that it made more sense lined up with what I now knew to be what happened. Wesker seemed relieved and sat next to me to… rub my back. He said something but no matter how many times I rewound it, I couldn’t make out what it was and apparently neither could Jill since she didn’t add anything here. So I looked to Wesker for the answer and he sighed but supplied what I wanted. 

“I told you it was alright because I was there.” he stated honestly and for the first time since we had laid down, he met my gaze and I could see just a touch of pink near his ears. I blushed again but didn’t know what to say to that or how to react to his show of tender embarrassment. So I did nothing and resumed the video. The front door opened and agents rushed in with guns aimed at Wesker though he didn’t move away from me. There were no subtitles here because Jill knew I could imagine with accuracy the usual shouted commands that would have been issued. Someone fired and when Wesker evaded, I fell without his support. Then he was next to me on the floor, just starting to lift me again when a bullet went into his back and through his chest, his blood landing on me in front of him and a bit on the floor. His eyes were glowing a bright red now and from the dangerous snarl on his face, anyone could tell just how pissed he was. He slowly turned towards the group of agents and a few of them stepped back but before anyone could make another move, Jill rushed in and gestured for everyone to cease fire. 

‘Stand down!’ The blonde woman cautiously approached Wesker who was still crouched on the floor with me half cradled in his arms. ‘I’ll take care of him.’ She got closer to him but his brilliant red glare was still over her shoulder to the agents behind her. ‘I need you to get in your cell so I can look after Chris.’ It was hard to tell past the glow emitting from his eyes but the camera quality was good enough to see their shift to Jill, then to me, then back to the woman. 

‘He’s suffering a massive panic attack.’ His eyes glared at everyone else in the room again. ‘All the extra people and noise won’t be good for him.’ He lowered me to the ground and stood up which made a few agents, especially the one that shot him, step back again. 

‘I’ll take it from here.’ Jill reassured as the man went into his room so she could lock him in. She then dismissed the other agents, claiming I needed space. While some who were more eager to leave obeyed, two in particular argued and ended up staying to stand guard at Wesker’s door to make sure he didn’t try anything. Jill had replaced the wet rag on my forehead as she moved me onto her lap, wiping away some of the blood from my face as she started singing to me. I’m not sure how much time it took for me to calm down enough that I became aware again but the video cut then picked up again as the other two agents were leaving. Jill’s subtitles weren’t word for word if my memory served correctly but they were close enough to get the point across. Jill left me to unlock Wesker’s door before returning to me as he went for the kitchen. He had grabbed this and that though I didn’t care enough to watch what, crushing and mixing various bits together before filling a cup with water and pouring some of the powder into it. He carried it over to us, kneeling next to me to give me his home remedy that worked wonders and I’m guessing it was the same stuff he gave me earlier too. Wesker carried me into my room with Jill following and they were in there for a few minutes before they both reemerged. The woman examined the broken locking mechanism in the door before giving our old captain an irritated look. 

‘You couldn’t have picked it or something?’ 

‘I believe that’s your job.’ He smirked at her and she rolled her eyes before heading for the front door which had been left open a crack and I took that to mean there was someone guarding the other side just in case. She didn’t pause and no more words were spoken between them as she left, sealing the door behind her so I guessed their conversation about Claire’s visit had to have happened in my room. She must have also turned on the camera in my room to keep an eye on me while she was there too. Wesker went to his room to change his slightly bloodied shirt before grabbing a chair from the table and set it just outside of my room. He sat with his arms folded and his head back against the wall as he waited for me to wake up. The video ended so I shut off my phone’s screen and laid it face down on Wesker’s chest so I didn’t have to try to get it back into my pocket. 

“Do you feel enlightened?” Wesker asked and I nodded against his chest. He sighed and adjusted so his cheek rested against the top of my head. 

“You know I thought it was just me you were acting weird with but it’s nice seeing you being playful with Jill too.” I said with a smile growing on my face. 

“I was not being playful.” he argued. “You make it sound as if I’m going soft.” 

“Aren’t you?” I asked cheekily and he scoffed but didn’t answer. I had only been joking but… was he? I wanted to press for the meaning behind his lack of an answer but he was saved from that when my phone rang. He wrinkled his nose as he lifted my vibrating and ringing phone from his chest and offered it over to me. 

“That was unpleasant, don’t do it again.” he ordered and I chuckled as I answered Jill’s call. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey, we’re on our way down so you’re going to have to lock Wesker in.” I sat up at the news and looked down at Wesker as if assessing his threat level. 

“Why?” I asked, deciding that he wasn’t one. 

“Because the director said so.” she responded coldly though it wasn’t directed at me. 

“Shouldn’t that be up to me and Claire?” 

“That’s what I thought but allowing her in is a security risk so they’re trying to put as many barriers between Wesker and escape as possible.” she explained with a sigh. 

“Why would I want to escape? I have what I want here.” Wesker asked, winking at me when my eyes met his and I blushed before looking away again. 

“They’re also worried he may be trying to use Claire as a hostage.” the woman continued, either not hearing the blond man or ignoring him. I almost laughed even though there was a part of me that believed it and wondered about the possibility. But no, Wesker’s put actual effort into getting closer to me so he wouldn’t just throw all of that away now by threatening Claire. “We’re getting into the elevator now so you’ve got a minute to get to the door.” 

“Okay, okay, I’m going.” I told her as I quickly got out of bed, eager to see my sister. We both hung up and I was about to leave the room when I stopped and looked back at the other man with an apologetic expression. 

“Go spend time with your sister.” he dismissed me with a wave of his hand and I smiled at him full of gratitude before I turned to leave again. “Chris.” he called to stop me and I looked back again with my hand on the door handle. “Remember to eat.” he reminded me and my smile softened. 

“Right because I would surely starve without you cooking for me.” I stated with a playfully mocking tone and he actually smiled back at me. 

“Precisely.” I wanted to go over and kiss him, this whole tender moment we shared lifted my spirits so much but I wanted to see Claire more. I shut his door and locked it up before rushing over to the front door, wringing my hands together as I impatiently waited. I had been waiting for it but I still jumped when the locks started to noisily disengage. My heart pounded as I willed the door to open already and when it finally did… Claire was standing there. She was in my arms in an instant and I was so overcome with relief and joy at having her with me safe and sound that I hid my face in her hair in case I started crying. In my good mood, I lifted her up and spun her around. She laughed in her happiness, her arms squeezing around my neck but not uncomfortably. I put the redhead down and she released the bear hug. I cupped her face in my hands as I pressed our foreheads together to stare into her eyes. 

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again or I’ll die of a heart attack and haunt you forever.” I tried to be serious but the smile wouldn’t leave my lips and neither would hers. 

“You act like this is the first life threatening situation I’ve been in.” she laughed and I kissed her head before pulling her into another hug. She was right, I was probably overreacting to this but it was a unique situation. When I heard she had been caught up in other outbreaks, it was after the fact and I knew she was okay. While she was being held prisoner at Rockford Island I was able to go to rescue her, I wasn’t trapped thinking she was dead or dying, I was able to do something about it. Knowing she was in active danger and being helpless to do anything about it… it ate me alive. 

“Alright my turn.” Jill called from behind Claire as she wedged her way into our embrace. She stood on her toes to hug me tightly and I happily returned it. “Glad to see you’re doing better.” she softly said to me and I nodded into her shoulder. 

“Well Wesker really helped keep me calm all day.” I told her before we parted and she smirked at me. 

“So I saw.” I looked at her in confusion over the knowing look she gave me. “I stopped by the monitoring station before we came down, I saw you two cuddling.” heat rushed to my face and I covered it with my hands. 

“Stop reminding me there are cameras everywhere.” I groaned and she laughed. 

“Well I’ve gotta get out of here since-” she raised her voice to make a point of making sure Wesker could hear her. “the party invitation doesn’t extend to me.” I doubted the man would shout through the door to reply but I could imagine the smirk he wore. I had no doubt he would be fine with her staying but we couldn’t turn this into a social event for a lot of reasons. 

“How long do we have?” I questioned and the blonde woman’s attention returned to me. 

“Three hours.” she answered apologetically but I nodded. It was less than I was hoping but more than I was expecting. “Glad you’re okay.” she said to Claire who smiled at her and said thank you. I guessed they already hugged it out. “I’ll be on cams if you need me.” she called over her shoulder as she left, the solid door closing behind her. I looked to Claire and we smiled at each other before hugging one more time for good measure. 

We sat at the couch for quite some time, just talking and it was honestly a great reassurance that everything was okay. She told me more about the whole experience, confided in me her sorrow over those that didn’t make it, and I comforted her. Though I noticed how Claire’s attention would shift to Wesker’s door from time to time and eventually she addressed it. 

“Jill told me this visit was his idea.” she informed me and I nodded in confirmation. “Why?” I looked away from her and shrugged. 

“It’s…” I sighed. “it’s hard to explain.” her expression turned to one of concern. 

“If it was anyone else I wouldn’t have to ask but it’s hard to see him actually caring.” she explained and I was silent for a long moment because it somehow made perfect sense to me in a way it wouldn’t have even just a week ago but it was impossible to put into words. 

“I’m not sure I would call it caring exactly but in his own way, he sorta does.” it all came out as more of a question since I wasn’t sure that was right and I knew it didn’t make any sense. 

“I don’t think she was supposed to but Jill also told me about Wesker giving up one of his contacts to calm you down.” her voice had lowered and she leaned closer to me to continue in a whisper with her hand on my arm. “That sounds like caring.” I stared at her with wide eyes and no matter how much I searched her gaze, I couldn’t make sense of what she was saying. Her eyes were soft and knowing but her lips were pursed with worry like she herself was still unsure of something. In the end I could only turn away from her gaze though I saw her soft smile from the corner of my eye. 

“Are you hungry?” I suddenly asked as I stood up. “If I don’t eat, Wesker will be on my ass about it later.” I explained before realizing how that might sound but the redhead didn’t react in any sort of way that might indicate that she might have taken it to mean something dirty. I started toward the kitchen, pausing as I passed near Wesker’s closed door. I wanted him to join us… I knew I probably shouldn’t want Wesker anywhere near Claire… but I did, I wanted them to get along. My chest ached painfully at the thought of the three of us as a family, knowing it could never happen. 

“How about Wesker join us for dinner?” Claire suggested and my eyes widened as I turned to look at her in astonishment. I wanted to say something- tried to say something but nothing came out as I continue to stare at my sister dumbly. “Oh come on, I don’t mind breaking the rules for this and I’m sure you don’t either.” I mean… she was right but I didn’t think she would  _ want _ Wesker out of his room so I hadn’t even thought of asking. “And I’m sure he would love to break the rules.” 

“You would be correct.” Wesker’s voice chuckled low from the other side of his door. I watched as my sister tensed, clearly unsettled by actually interacting with the dangerous man. 

“Are you sure?” I asked her hesitantly, unaware that my body had already moved closer to the locked door with eager energy. 

“I want to properly thank him.” she confirmed with a hard nod. My hands moved on their own to undo the locks and I opened the door with a smile as Wesker stepped out. Claire’s jaw tensed and she watched him intently with a hard expression but I could tell she at least tried not to glare at him. His eyes swept over her once and I knew he was doing a quick analysis of her but apparently he didn’t find anything that interested him because he turned to me. 

“What do you feel like eating?” he asked calmly, his fingers gently brushing mine as if asking for permission to hold my hand. I knew the gesture had more meaning than just that though, he wasn’t just asking about right now, he was asking if I was okay with it at all during the visit. Was I okay showing affection with Wesker in front of Claire? Even though I knew I was supported, it was still embarrassing just having people know I was attracted to a man- this man in particular. I knew I would eventually get over it and I was okay showing my comfort with Wesker now but looking at the redhead’s uneasy posture… no, more for her sake, I wasn’t okay with it for now. I moved my hand away from his and though there wasn’t a reaction in any of his facial features, he stood just a little straighter like he was becoming more attentive of himself and his actions. Not that he wasn’t always aware and thought everything through, but it showed he was watching himself not to act in a way that would put me in an uncomfortable position. I appreciated that and… the desire to kiss him came back to me. 

“Wesker, I want to th-” 

“I would rather you didn’t.” the blond interrupted the woman as he faced her again with a blank expression. “Nothing I did was for you nor does whatever ‘care’ you think me to have extend to you.” he spoke these words with such a straight face it was hard to believe. 

“Wesker!” 

“It’s okay Chris.” Claire told me and when I looked back to her she was calmer as if having expected Wesker to make up some pretense of friendship and having that belief shattered was a relief. “I already knew that and he’s just speaking his mind.” she couldn’t help the glare she had on him though. “Still, thank you for helping my brother.” she nodded to him and after a thoughtful moment, he returned it. They were caught in a fierce staring contest as she searched him for answers to unasked questions and he held her gaze to not show fault. And here I was stuck in the middle of it and I worried about even breathing as if this was the formation of a very important truce and any word from me would break it since  _ I _ was the foundation of that truce. “Dinner?” Claire asked so suddenly as she looked back at me with a forced smile that I almost jumped. Wesker’s gaze also returned to me, still waiting on an answer to his previous related question. I looked back and forth between them in confusion because while they seemed to come to some sort of understanding, the atmosphere was still heavy with tension which made me awkward as the only one either of them was here for. 

“I hate you both.” I muttered as I turned my back to them to walk into the kitchen. I opened the fridge door and looked over the contents. I was hungry but wasn’t sure if anything sounded good though at the same time I was sure if there was any type of food in front of me I would eat it. Why was it up to me to choose? Wesker stepped behind me, intentionally reaching around my body to open the freezer door, having to get even closer to peer in so his chest was touching my shoulder and back. “I thought we had an agreement.” I whispered to him and he smirked. 

“Go spend more time with your sister while I make dinner for the two of you.” Wesker said with a nod back to the living room. 

“Are you not eating with us?” Claire’s voice asked from behind us, having come into the kitchen as well. When we both turned to see her it put our faces far too close so I had to back away from the blond which made him smirk at me again before he returned his attention to the freezer. 

“No.” was all he said as he pulled out some pork chops and I was glad I didn’t have to decide what to eat now. 

“He doesn’t have to eat very often.” I explained further, motioning for the redhead to follow me as I stepped around her to head back into the living room. 

“It’s an occasion.” she pressed and that got inhuman eyes to finally turn to her with an analytical eye. After a moment of looking her over, Wesker looked to me so I just shrugged and he sighed. 

“If you insist.” he said before getting to his task and Claire forced a smile before she turned to walk back to the couch. 

“Make some mashed potatoes while you’re at it.” she called from over her shoulder and the atmosphere drained of life in an instant when Wesker leveled a glare at the back of her head. I tensed when his eyes turned to me full of demanding irritation and I could tell he wanted to do something about the redhead giving him an order. I shrugged sheepishly and mouthed the word ‘sorry’ at him. I didn’t want him to do anything because I couldn’t guarantee how it would turn out. I also didn’t want to do anything about it on his behalf since that would make him feel like he couldn’t handle Claire on his own. He closed his eyes, took a moment to himself, and got to cooking. “What’s his problem?” the woman asked as I sat with her again on the couch. 

“Don’t.” I shook my head at her and though she seemed confused by my defensive posture, she didn’t question it. I knew she was just trying to play around to seem like she was more comfortable with the situation than she really was but considering who Wesker was, it had come off more rude than anything. 

… … … 

“You didn’t!” Claire shrieked in horror at the news and I nodded sadly. “It was your favorite!” she continued and I just continued to nod, staring past her to the spot on the wall I had thrown and shattered the coffee mug she had given to me for my last birthday. “I’ll order you a new one.” she suddenly said as she pulled out her phone but I snatched it from her. 

“I broke it, I’ll replace it.” I told her strictly and she pouted at me for a second before rolling her eyes. 

“Fine.” she held her hand out for her phone so I placed it on her upturned palm. “Speaking of drinks, can I have some water?” 

“Yeah.” I stood and walked into the kitchen, pulling open the fridge to grab a cold water bottle. 

“Thank you.” I heard Wesker say softly and turned to him. 

“For what?” I asked in surprised confusion, keeping my voice low as he had so Claire couldn’t hear us. 

“I understand how much it means for you to trust me with your beloved sister.” he explained shortly without looking at me. Having seen a little of his eyes, I stepped up next to him and peered around to get a look at their bright orange color. He looked away from me. “I’m simply trying to assure you I understand how much I’m being given at this moment and I won’t risk making you regret it.” I again noticed the embarrassed dusting of red on his ears and what I could still see of his cheeks. I smiled and took his free hand, squeezing it lightly. 

“You’ve earned it and I know I’m not going to regret this one bit. I probably shouldn’t but I trust you Wesker.” I told him sincerely and he slowly turned to face me, his own genuine smile spreading over his lips. He very subtly leaned toward me before stopping himself. 

“May I kiss you?” he whispered and the sound was so sensual and earnest, the only reason I didn’t kiss him as an answer was because I caught the movement of his eyes very briefly darting to the side. I followed the inhuman gaze to see Claire still sitting on the couch with her arms folded and her eyes awkwardly diverted. Her lips were pursed and her eyebrows raised like she found everything she looked at so much more interesting than the two of us. My face lit up and I took a step back, realizing just how close I’d gotten to the other man. Wesker chuckled, shook his hand from my grip, and returned his gaze to what he was cooking. “Later.” he simply stated before his voice lost its subtlety. “The food is almost ready.” I nodded and went back to Claire, sitting next to her and awkwardly fidgeted with my hands. 

“So…” 

“So…” I repeated which only made it more awkward. “Food’s almost done.” I offered a change of topic and my sister readily accepted it. 

“Great, that’s great. Should we set the table or something?” she furthered the conversation, her gaze returning to me more casually and I followed suit. 

“Uh, no I think Wesker’s dishing the plates.” I informed her before looking at the table, realizing there was only one chair. I looked to my bedroom door to see the other one was still there against the wall but that didn’t solve the issue of us being one chair short. “But we can move my desk chair out here.” she stood and nodded enthusiastically. 

“And we can move your TV out like you’ve been talking about too.” she said as I followed her to my room. I waited as she took a moment to examine the broken lock though she didn’t question it since she already knew the story. My eyes found Wesker and I felt heat rising in my body. I knew what I wanted. Before we started, I texted Jill. 

We moved the TV first, bringing the end table it was on out as well and hooked everything up in front of the couch. I made sure to tell Wesker to be careful of the cords trailing to the nearest outlet even though I was sure he didn’t need to be told. Regardless he acknowledged me with a hum. Claire wheeled my desk chair out of my room and I brought over the other dining chair to the table just as Wesker set two plates on its surface. Claire sat in my padded chair in the spot I usually sat, Wesker returned with a third plate and took his place, and I sat between them. Already I had a bad feeling about my position here as the literal middle man but there was nothing to be done about it since having these two next to each other would be worse. 

No one immediately made conversation so we ate in silence for nearly half the meal until Claire finally cleared her throat and spoke. 

“So you care about Chris?” she asked as she eyed the blond man. I held back a groan and forced myself not to bury my face in my hands. I took another bite. Wesker on the other hand took a thoughtful breath and his eyes found the ceiling as he thought it over. Then he turned his gaze to me. 

“What would you call it?” I did sigh this time but gave it a moment of thought. 

“Possessive.” the word came to me easily and Wesker nodded, his eyes briefly meeting Claire’s. 

“That sounds closer to accurate than what you said.” he said before taking another bite. My sister’s baby blue eyes flickered between us before she finally put down her fork. 

“Okay seriously, this is all so weird!” she exclaimed before her narrowed eyes settled on Wesker. “What’s your game?” she demanded with a harsh tone. Yup… definitely not awkward and tense being in the middle of this. I was torn on what I should do. I couldn’t take Wesker’s side and tell Claire to calm down because she’s his little sister- plus it was an excellent question and I wanted to know too. And I couldn’t take Claire’s side and double down on interrogating Wesker or it might put a drift between everything we’ve built. So I stuck to quietly picking at my food, keeping my eyes on my plate though I often peeked at the other two. Wesker sighed and put his fork down to give the redhead his full attention. 

“My goal with this surrender was to spend time alone with Chris and I’m getting exactly that.” he answered without looking away from the woman as they engaged in another staring contest. Wait… really? That was the whole reason? I finally get the ‘why’ he’s been keeping from me and it’s just… he was just saying that. There had to be another reason. 

“Why?” she pressed. 

“Because I have spared his life time and time again, even though I hate him, due to the amusement he provided with his naive chase and stubborn self righteousness.” 

“Hey.” I called in offense but they both ignored me. 

“I was finally going to kill him in the mansion to put an end to the endless interruptions. However I came to the realization that I didn’t want him dead.” Wesker continued to explain and I recalled one of the first letters he gave me that stated that very thing. 

“Why?” Claire asked again, now more intrigued than accusing. 

“That’s what I’m here to figure out.” and with that answered, he resumed eating to signal that the conversation was over but Claire wasn’t having it. 

“Have you figured it out?” 

“I believe I have.” Wesker surprisingly replied before taking another bite of his food. 

“Are you going to share?” Claire continued to press and Wesker shook his head. “Well what are you going to do now that you know?” Wesker didn’t even bother acknowledging her this time which drew an annoyed huff from the redhead. Honestly she was lucky to have gotten as much as she did out of him. She looked to me like I was supposed to do something about him being uncooperative. I shrugged at her much the same way I did at Wesker when he gave me this same look over her. Luckily she huffed again and also went back to eating. And they both left me alone. Thank god. 

… … … 

Jill called to tell me she would be down for Claire in ten minutes so I would need to have Wesker locked in his room again. I smiled to myself but didn’t point out how it had been the first time she had referred to it as his room rather than his cell. I remembered my own little trip into comfort with that and… it felt like so long ago. 

Chris: Did you have time    
Jill: Don’t worry I got it 

I sighed in relief at the confirmation, having been worried she wouldn’t have enough time to find someone to cover for her. Fortunately it seemed she had so she was able to run out and pick it up for me. I’d ordered something from a… shop, making sure it was in stock and placed Jill as the pickup person. They were able to get it ready in time and she was able to get there and back before the three hours were up so she could give it to me while picking up Claire. Unfortunately… it had to get cleared to get in here. I’m just glad I didn’t know who was in charge of that process otherwise I’m not sure I could face them after this. 

Jill: I still think you should have gotten something bigger 

Blush rushed to my face and I angrily typed out my response to that. 

Chris: We already talked about this    
Chris: I’m not trying to match him 

“What’s the matter with you?” Wesker asked from the kitchen where he was washing the dishes after dinner. He seemed amused that I was a blushing mess which I glared at him for. 

“Nothing.” I declared too loudly. I was just checking on my delivery while Claire was using my bathroom. It wasn’t supposed to turn into this but of course everyone loved to tease me. 

Jill: They had so many with cool features    
Chris: I don’t need any features    
Jill: Holy shit can you get any redder    
Chris: Thanks for picking it up for me and all but fuck you 

I could imagine her laughing at me and groaned. Then there was a gasp from behind me and I yelped as I rushed to press my phone to my chest to prevent anyone from seeing it. Claire stood with her hand to her mouth, her eyes wide, and a light blush on her cheeks. I wondered how much she had read but I knew the last time either of us had said what the item was wasn’t quite off the screen yet so she probably saw it. She was blushing- of course she saw! 

“Why are you snooping?” I demanded as I turned my screen off and shoved the damned device in my pocket. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were having such a private conversation.” she exclaimed before covering her eyes. “God how do I unsee that?” we both groaned and turned away from each other. 

“What is-” 

“Nothing!” I shouted again to stop Wesker’s question. I cursed my luck and could imagine Jill laughing her ass off watching this whole scene. “Jill’s gonna be on her way down soon so you-” I pointed to Claire though I couldn’t look at her. “make sure you have all your stuff. And you-” I pointed now to the blond man accompanied by a pleading look. “go to your room.” I told him which made his eyebrows shoot up. He didn’t seem angry at the command like he had been when Claire told him to do something, he seemed a little surprised but amused, maybe even a little impressed. He still ignored me and continued to finish the dishes. I sat there while Claire put her shoes back on and double checked herself for her belongings. Jill texted me that she was on her way down so I relayed the information to Wesker who then dried his hands on a cloth and walked into his room. I wasn’t going to bother locking it since Claire was just slipping out but I didn’t want to risk him seeing that Jill was bringing me something and get curious. So I walked over to lock him in. 

Back at the front door and putting our awkwardness aside, my sister and I embraced in a tight hug and didn’t let go. 

“Be careful, okay?” I mumbled as I laid my head on top of hers. 

“You too.” she nodded. I sighed in disappointment when the locks on the front door disengaged. “I love you Chris.” 

“I love you too.” I told her as we parted when the door opened. Jill didn’t step in as Claire stepped out, just passed me a small black bag which I quickly took from her. Noticing it, Claire cringed slightly as a blush crept onto her face. I saw Jill bite her lip to stop from laughing so I glared at her. “Thank you.” I said through my teeth and she grinned. 

“Do I get a tip for the delivery?” she teased and I pretended to rummage through my pocket with my free hand before pulling it back out with my middle finger raised to her. Both girls laughed and I joined in. 

“Bye.” Claire called with a wave that I returned. 

“Enjoy.” Jill smirked and I rolled my eyes. The door shut and I wasted no time rushing to my bedroom, stopping at my dresser to add the fleshlight to the bag before storing it under my bathroom sink. I wasn’t worried about Wesker going through my things whenever he was in my room, I didn’t even care that my door couldn’t lock anymore. But these things needed to be secured against all possibility of discovery. I shut my bathroom door and my bedroom door before walking across the living room to Wesker’s door. 

I unlocked and opened it only to be met with lips on mine. Wesker’s arms dragged me closer to his body and his lips pressed to mine comfortably. I moaned into the kiss as my eyes closed and my arms encircled his neck. Then his tongue slid over my lips and I readily opened my mouth to allow him entrance. I let him lead as he moved us to the side so he could press my back to the wall with his hands rested comfortably on my hips. I was expecting this to be more frantic than it was and found I was content that it was more sensual than sexual. It was Wesker who pulled out of the short make out session we’d been having but I still panted from excitement. I looked into his orange eyes and smiled happily. 

“Thank you. For all of this.” I whispered and he kissed me again. I was surprised when he let me go with one hand to find one of mine, removing it from around his neck to hold it to our sides. I wondered if this was making up for before when he was denied my hand. That brought the questions I had over his and Claire’s conversation at dinner to mind and I had to ask. “Why don’t you want me dead?” I asked and the blond sighed deeply before softly kissing my lips one more time. 

“Because I do care about you Chris.” his voice was low and his tone was gentle, he sounded sincere. I was frozen by the admission and searched his eyes for dishonesty for a long time but… I couldn’t find any. I was at a loss for words. Here was another moment where everything between us changed and I didn’t know how to process this. Wesker  _ cared _ about me. I mean I knew that to some extent but I wasn’t lying to Claire when I said I wouldn’t exactly call it care in the traditional meaning. But for the man himself to say those words to me… my heart wouldn’t settle and my head spun but there was also a lace of pain in the words. This wouldn’t last forever even though I wanted it to. “Go get some rest, it’s been a long day.” he said as he backed up so I could get off of the wall though he didn’t release my hand. “And do try not to overthink it or you’ll be snippy with me in the morning.” that got me to smile and though I wanted to kiss him goodnight, I didn’t. I needed to think. I let go of his hand but before I could leave, Wesker stopped me. “Last night’s and tonight’s.” he said as he retrieved several pages of paper from his desk and handed them over to me. 

“Thanks.” I said again with a smile before I turned and left, feeling his eyes on me as I made my way back into my own room. I sat on my bed and zoned out for a while before shaking my head and looking down at the two letters in my hands. Last night’s letter was ‘Chris’s Birthday’ and tonight’s letter was ‘Mother Hen’. 

~~~ 

“I’m sorry Captain.” the man pleaded with me over the phone. “I’ll be back to work first thing Monday morning.” he’d broken his arm because of course he had. It wasn’t even a work related injury, he’d been out goofing off doing god knows what with the other two trouble makers. Somehow whatever they were doing led to Chris breaking his arm. 

“With the doctor’s full clearance?” I had to ask since it wouldn’t be above Chris to come in before he was cleared. 

“Yes.” he declared firmly and I gave him a moment to correct himself. I came into the office to find a fax from the hospital putting Chris on medical leave from work. It also listed his restrictions upon return though he wouldn’t be cleared for field duty until the doctor saw him again after the cast was off. That would take at least a couple of weeks. “Yes.” he stated again though less sure of himself. “I’m not clear for fieldwork and I’m on restrictions but they said I can go into the office by Monday.” he finally relented with a defeated sigh. 

“Was that so difficult?” I huffed into the speaker as I inched my sunglasses up to pinch the bridge of my nose. We weren’t particularly busy at the moment but being down my pointman was never optimal. 

“Sorry Wesker.” he mumbled like a scolded child. 

“These things happen, at least you’re alright.” I told him though I was rather annoyed over the situation. 

“I can come in to-” 

“Monday is already pushing it.” I told him sharply. “Take your time to recover. You’re of no use to the team if you’re not at your best.” he sighed as I spoke. 

“Yes sir.” I was about to hang up when he spoke again. “Thanks for calling to check on me.” I was at a loss for how to respond to that. Of course I called, he hadn’t. Then again it was very early and the time of the hospital visit was listed to have been only a few hours ago. Perhaps I should have been surprised to find out he was still awake after leaving the hospital. Perhaps I should have waited for a more reasonable hour to call him but I needed to be made aware of these kinds of situations as soon as possible to better plan around them. 

“Of course, it’s one of my duties.” I simply said even as my mind wandered to the last time Barry had been hurt on a mission and all I needed was confirmation of when he would return to work. But that had been different, I had already known that he was hurt and was the one that saw him to the ambulance. 

I ended the call before he could drag on the conversation. I had the information I needed so there was nothing more to discuss. I tapped my finger against my desk as I finally got around to turning on my computer. It would be quieter around the office without Chris especially with Joseph trying to lay low lest he get into trouble for being a part of whatever shenanigan was behind the temporary loss of our pointman. He wouldn’t, of course, there was no reason to punish him at work for something that happened off duty. Even if I might have a few choice words for both him and Forest- and Chris. Of course Chris as well since he was mostly to blame for this. 

Chris wasn’t much of a cook even without a broken arm. What was he going to do about meals? 

… … … 

The sharpshooter was surprised when he opened his front door to find me standing before him. 

“Captain!” he looked around me as if I were a mere illusion and he would find someone else at his doorstep. “What are you doing here?” already he was exaggerating this turn of events, it wasn’t the first time I’d come to his apartment to check on him when he’d been hurt yet he always seemed just shocked. 

“Making sure you eat more than junk while you’re handicapped.” I answered as I held up the bag I carried. He eyed it carefully like it would explode and though I secretly rolled my eyes at his hesitance, I waited patiently for him to finally accept it. “Three full meals, refrigerate leftovers, the tupperware is microwave safe.” I informed him before turning to leave. 

“Wait- Wesker!” he stopped me with an outstretched hand though he didn’t touch me. “Uh… do you… do you want to come in and… eat with me?” his face was red with a mild fever that he was no doubt on medication for but it seemed to grow redder during our conversation. He shouldn’t be up, he needed to rest. 

“I only prepared one serving per dish.” that and the fact there was one of Umbrella’s more exclusive medicines mixed into some of the ingredients to help quicken his healing so only he should eat it. He shrank a little at the rejection before his eyebrows flew up in surprise. 

“You made the food?” he asked in astonishment. “You can cook?” 

“Of course I can, it’s only chemistry.” I also believed it to be a basic life skill but I knew I was far above the required level for the average male, even one living alone. 

“Oh, okay.” he narrowed his eyes at the floor, seeming to try for something to say quickly. “Um… do you want to come in and have a drink?” he tried again and as nearly tempting as that sounded, I checked my watch. I had left the office late so the cooking didn’t get done within the time frame I allotted which placed me here later than intended and this wasn’t my last errand before returning home for the night. 

“I have other matters to attend to before the day is through.” I delivered the news as stoically as any other but it still made Chris deflate in disappointment. 

“Alright, maybe some other time.” he said with finality and I nodded more to be able to leave sooner than out of agreeance. I didn’t make a habit of 'hanging out’ with my team after hours, this was only the third time I’d come to check on Chris at his home and the first with a gift. 

“Goodnight Chris.” I turned again to make my exit. 

“Goodnight Wesker.” he called after me though I didn’t hear his door close but I couldn’t be bothered to look back at him to see why. I would call him tomorrow to make sure he ate and had taken whatever medication he was prescribed. The sooner I got him back to full health, the sooner he could fully return to work, and the sooner STARS could return to normal working functionality. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit long chapter is long! Over 12,000 words- that's plenty to split into two chapters! But we're doing a chapter a day so busy days will inevitably be longer. This chapter took forEVER to get through between piecing together scenes I already had written, new scenes I actually had to think through, and scenes that wrote themselves that completed contradicted other scenes causing everything to need to be gone over again! Anyway, it's finally out and I hope it was worth the wait. I really like the tenderness in this chapter and though I feel it's more direct for Wesker's personality as I would usually depict him, again that was a decision to separate the way their relationship develops from the other fic I'm working on (not Man or Monster? because that's a whole other type of development but the other fic).   
> I don't have much of the next chapter written but I know where I'm going with it. I think it'll be of a normal length plus it'll be a fun day so I'll be able to get through it quicker. It shouldn't be too long of a wait. And don't worry, I'm not pushing myself to force time to write as much. My extra class ended so I'm back to my normal course workload at school which is a huge relief but it also sucks because it was a really fun class. Thanks for the concern though.   
> And thanks to all of you for sticking with me, you're fantastic and don't let life or the assholes in it get you down! If they do, I'll need some information for my little black book of murder. I was gonna cover that up like a joke like 'oops I didn't mean murder I meant something else' but no, I will murder. Slowly. And painfully. ...I'm in a mood apparently. Cheers!


End file.
